What do you say to those that arent encouraging?

AngieM76

I just started this journey yesterday and my fiance looks at me and says "I give you a week and you will be done with it". I was offended and not happy with that comment. I need all the support and encouragement I can get especially from him. I didnt know what to say to him so I just said "ok whatever you say"

cillytilly

It is hard when those around you are not encouraging. They do not understand that this journey is about you and bettering yourself. My intial reaction to that is I will show you!!! I know that is immature but I would use that as your inspiration to continue doing it. If you need an encourager all of us are out here and willing to be your cheerleaders.

Grimmerick

You are gonna get a lot of comments on this haha we don't like unsupportive people. I would be double determined and keep it up then you can have the pleasure of rubbing it in his face. I would even add that to your profile on your list of goals.

AHealthierRhonda

OUCH! Well, for me those would have been fighting words, but hey! that's me!
I guess I wouldn't say anything really and just show them that you are serious and can do it!!!! Hopefully those people will begin to see the new you and change their tunes. If they don't, well, for me, it would be buh bye......

getmehealthy

wow - don't listen to your fiance! If he won't support you getting healthier you need to look elsewhere. Start with yourself, family, friends and here of course. Please don't let him drag you down. Does his opinion really matter to you about your health? Good luck - you can do it - one day at a time!!

Amanda993

It hurts to hear things like that expecially from your fiance Just stick with MFP and you WILL see results, and he will feel bad for not supporting you in the first place. Friend me if you like and I will encourage you!

Lshizz

First of all, that sucks. But some people don't get it and they never will. I think the best thing in those circumstances is to zip it....say nothing. Prove him wrong with your results! If you're serious, then in no time, you're going to start feeling and looking better and he's gonna see that and think to himself, "Man, I was wrong." Nothing feels better than doing this for you, but it feels damn good when you can prove someone wrong along the way

Bead_Maker

Sounds like a jerk moment, hopefully he's not always like that and will be more encouraging once you're farther along and he realizes you're serious....

one hopes he'll appreciate you getting sexier too! ;-)

meshellmybell76

I certainly hope he is not this unsupportive in other areas in your life Not the best quality in someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

CatchThatKitten

You don't HAVE to say anything....while it was crappy of him to be mean like that, the best thing you can do is ignore him, then prove him wrong HARDCORE. You can do it!!

Bgriff1974

Honestly It is easier if he supports you however your doing it for you and not for him or anyone else or it is very difficult to stick with it anyways. Do it for yourself.. Let the results be your encouragement.. And all of us here as well...

He will see it and come around.. Just dont let it get you discouraged.. Do it consistantly, stay focused and enjoy the results!

(then IN HIS FACE!!!)

blueocean52811

I know for me it just gives me more power when they say things like that now. It would bother me before, but now I know I can do it, if I want to and I think that is the key you have to want to make the change. I would also let him know that it bothered you that he was not being kind to you and that you would like his help in this journey. Just stay positive and we are are all here for you!!! You can add me if you want some support. Best of lcuk!!!

freerange

F$%K off? Is what I say to those kind of people.

sbwood888

Look at him and say "Thanks so much for your support. I knew I could count on you."

SeasideOasis

To me, it sounds like a challenge. Sometimes, if I challenge myself, I fail. However, if someone else challenges me, I excel to incredible lengths. So, not only should you make him eat his words, challenge him back. Or pull the ever so fun - "Ok, if I can stay committed (you can prove my printing out your food reports/exercise reports) and reach my goal, (insert what you want here...maybe he treats you to a spa day). If I give in and dont manage, I (insert what you'll do)"

It sounds silly, but it works like a charm every time.

MaryKatU

You have to do this for yourself, no one else, or it won't work. Prove him wrong!

millermichellelea

I just started this journey yesterday and my fiance looks at me and says "I give you a week and you will be done with it". I was offended and not happy with that comment. I need all the support and encouragement I can get especially from him. I didnt know what to say to him so I just said "ok whatever you say"

Use it to make you more determined - my husband was like that --- Now all he says is "wow, look at you in that outfit," and "oh, heck no you are not wearing that outside this house." ~~~~ it sure changed his tune. I took the lack of his faith and used it to help me stick with it - he made me more determined to succeed.

You will do it!!!!! Don't make him right, make him realize just how amazing you are when you set your mind to it!!!!!! :drinker:

electricnarwhal

Just stick with it and get healthy for yourself! I'm sure he'll grow to appreciate all of your hard work you have done, and it will show him that you can do anything... Despite him being unsupportive with it. Find support elsewhere, like with friends and family and MFP is a good place for that, too. I wish you the best of luck! Stay strong girl!:flowerforyou: We're all here for you.

davidcookfan

i would just keep going and prove him wrong. I used to have a BF like that. HE was not supported when i joined weight watchers he laughed at me too. So i lost 15 pounds to prove him wrong. After i was done with WW i put back on the weight plus more : ( but then when we ened things i lost 40pounds. If your heart is into losing weight and feeling good about yourself then keep doing what you are doing. Don't give up!!!!!

ami789

Use it to prove him wrong. Every time you don't feel like doing it..just remember what he said, get angry and show him, yourself and everyone else that you can.

It's great fuel for your workouts too!
People don't like change, especially if they are not familiar with it. But you do what is right for you. You know what you want and need. He may come around or even want to start changing after watching what your doing. You may be surprised.
Don't let it get you down. Be strong and you will reach your goals one day at a time.

MsAngelJ

That was pretty harsh..what really gets me is when they say, "oh that's great your trying to get in shape and eat right, here eat half of this pie with me!" Then they get offended if you don't. Getting in shape is so hard, especially when one is used to eating whatever they want and not exercising when they should. That's the case for me anyway. I've decided that I need to do this for me, and even though I will and have failed at times, its not their body its mine. They can say and do what they want. I will succeed in time, and you will to. Put the negativity out of your mind and focus on your goal, but remember changing your life style takes time. It won't happen over night, so don't get frustrated when it doesn't. Just keep on going and when you are sucessful chances are others will be saying I want to be healthy too!!

jmuzzio7

The best thing you can say (in my opinion) is nothing. SHOW him that he's wrong. Use that as motivation to stay strong and stick to it. In the end, you'll feel better about yourself b/c you've lost weight, stayed committed AND proven him wrong. We are all here to support and encourage you. Please feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like.

kelsully

One thing I have learned through my process is that while encouragement is awesome...what I get here is perfect...therefore I don't make my journey and efforts real public information. I eat what I eat...I exercise like I exercise. I get snarky comments from some but I am learning ...and mind you I said learning...to let them go. I don't talk about calories and exercise except with people who like to talk about it too...I never shared with my hubby that I was going to work on controlling portion sizes. I never discussed with him MFP until I knew it would be successful for me..and I knew I could handle this in an emotionally healthy way (old eating disorder sneaks up at times) My hubby is very cool. He is very supportive of my endeavors in life...partly because I expect it of him...I do things to make myself better and he better be on board. As long as I am healthy and strong and not neglecting other important things in my life then he supports me. If fiance is not supportive here I hope he encourages and supports other things you do in your life..if he doesn't you should start expecting and demanding that support in your positive endeavors.

TourThePast

I just started this journey yesterday and my fiance looks at me and says "I give you a week and you will be done with it".

Not a great reaction, considering this is the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with... Did you tell him that his comment offended you?

Personally, a comment like that would really motivate me to prove him wrong. My internal reaction would be "F*** you pal, I'll show you how wrong you are!"

Hard to tell from what you've said whether the guy's a total jerk, whether it was out of character (we all have off days when we'd be better keeping your mouths shut) or whether it was a realistic assessment. Only you can tell whether this was an unfair thing for him to say. If this is the tenth time you've announced that you're doing this and you've lasted only a couple of days each time, it may not have been supportive but it's not entirely unreasonable either.

NicolCook

My bf was the same way when I began mine. He gave me 2 weeks until it would be over.....here I am 9 months later. And in the time it takes to grow a baby, I lost 40lbs.

I don't have to use words anymore.....he had to eat his!!

I, at the time, told him that wasn't very nice and thanks for the encouragement (insert sarcasm here). He thought by saying what he did, that I would be motivated to prove him wrong. It wasn't him I was doing it for....so I ignored him.

I wish you much luck on your journey and feel free to add me if you would like more support :flowerforyou:

lovebeinGIGI

Your fiance?? First of all, as for me, I'd lose the weight then lose HIM! I was with someone a while back who got with me after I had lost a ton of weight (several years ago) and when he saw a pic of me when I was heavy his comment was "Yeah, I'd never dated you at that size". My reaction to him was, "Then you don't deserve me at this size!" He was history and I'm the better for it!

Someone who doesn't support you in your efforts, no matter how many times you have tried, isn't someone you want around you when trying to lose weight! I know...I've had both kinds around me. So the ones who aren't supportive, I avoid. You need encoragement!!

Just don't give up!! You'll see the pounds starting to drop before you know it!!!

Best of luck to you and God Bless!!!

lisafred24

My first question is does your boyfriend tend to be jealous of other men? if so, there is your answer. He doesn't want to encourage you because he doesn't want you reaching your goals and having other men attracted to you. My second question is in other things is he a good boyfriend (does he work, is he kind, loving, supportive)..if yes then good for you and prove him wrong by sticking with it. If he is not then my answer is the same...he is afraid you will reach a goal, get attention else where and leave him. If he is any of these negative factors I have mentioned then I say move on without him. If he is a good guy and was just being insensitive then you need to sit him down and explain how important this is to you and that you need his help and encouragement.

LH2011

I read your profile and your reasons for losing weight are inspiring your mother is lucky to have you and your husband needs a good kicking I'm afraid and anyone else who is negitive. Ignor them and prove them wrong I have sent you a friend request and would be only to happy to help and support - good luck lisa

AngieM76

Thank you all for the encouraging words. I definitely plan on proving him wrong. I know he has never had to go through anything like this. He is the type that can eat what he wants and never gains a pound. He is normally very supportive of the things I do so I am hoping once he starts seeing the changes in me, that he will be supportive and encourage me. I can tell already that the people here on MFP are wonderful people and I know I will always get the support I need.

AngieM76

I read your profile and your reasons for losing weight are inspiring your mother is lucky to have you and your husband needs a good kicking I'm afraid and anyone else who is negitive. Ignor them and prove them wrong I have sent you a friend request and would be only to happy to help and support - good luck lisa

Thank you Lisa!

meparker56

First off, don't let him sabatage your efforts with his negativity! You can do this! I would actually do it just to prove him wrong, but hey, you are here for you. Let your fiance know that you are doing this for you, and if he can't be supportive then don't say anything at all!! There will be times when you get discouraged but that is why we are here! You will have all kinds of support on here. Add friends to your site, we will support you! Then when you lose your weight, rub it in his face!!!!! LOL good luck. and good job on the 1 lb. lost!!!