What you don't want to hear....
Replies
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There are way too many to quote, but in short, my mother telling me how "she wants me to be healthy", "your grandfather died of a heart attack", "Your grandmother died of diabetes", "it runs in the family", {death}, {damnation}, {pessimism}, {etc, etc, etc}...and the only thing that will save me is my following her f&*#&*$ advice!
It made me so mad and rebellious I would *FORCE* myself to go out and eat fast food crap just to convince myself I was pissing her off...even if it was just in my head! I never actually said anything. It happened so much it became habitual to stop off and grab something to and from college...every damn day and still have meals at home.
I know she thought she was doing it out of love...but I wish I had had the huevos to tell her to back the hell off.
--MR
I finally had to tell mine to back off. Her "advice" comes in the form of donuts, cheese danish, and those huge bags of peanut M&M's, followed by, "I know you're on a diet, but you'll eat this, because I have it and you want it." I told her she could eat her own garbage, because I was on a mission to eat healthy and get back in shape.0 -
"Your 40 your not going to look like you did in your 20's" just typing that pissed me off!!!!
"You've had 4 kids, you can't expect to look like you did before they came along"
" Your not feeding your kids diet food are you?" well do you mean whole foods rather than processed, than yes I am!
My mom is amazing, so I swear she didnt mean anything by it but she told me "You're 20! You're not going to look like you are 17, 18, or 19!" o_o I think she was trying to come up with something to say because I was complaining about my appearance xD
Also, since I was a teenager I have had people ask me if I had kids or was married. Not to do with my weight loss, but I'm still traumatized.
Once I actually blew up at some older woman in the library when I was studying, "Excuse me, is that your daughter?" I look to see a girl around 7 or 8 years old running around. "I'm 18! You think I got pregnant when I was 11?!?!?!" I felt bad afterward, but the lady came back later to apologize and told me her mom had her when she was 13 and she didn't mean to make me feel old.
I still feel like a jerk for blowing up at her, but yea...I think some things are best left unsaid. lol.
ps: Funny thing is that now I am often mistaken for much younger than my age...A couple weeks ago was the first time since I was around 10 years old that I was handed a kids menu. You can bet I tipped well! :laugh: That same day a man asked my mom if I wanted to join a study group for kids my age...13 years old. I went to bed happy. :drinker:0 -
Oh! How about this one... "Don't get too skinny. Men like a woman with a little meat on her bones, y'know."
I can't stand when people say that! Like we are innately dieting to impress men. :explode:0 -
Friend: "How did you do it?!?!"
Me: "A healthy diet and exercise."
Friend: "No, really. Are you taking pills or did you just stop eating?"
WTF?!?!?!0 -
I saw a friend at the weekend who said 'wow, i like your top, its really flattering' and i know she was trying to be nice, but i really wanted to turn round and say 'am i so fat i need to wear FLATTERING tops?????'0
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Oh! How about this one... "Don't get too skinny. Men like a woman with a little meat on her bones, y'know."
I can't stand when people say that! Like we are innately dieting to impress men. :explode:
Totally agree. It's the same kind of argument that people give me when they are trying to convince me to not get breast implants. They mention that guys like small ones too and that they prefer real over fake... Um, hello? My fiance doesn't mind me concidering this...and if he did, TOO BAD! I am not doing it for HIM or any other male on this planet. I want it for ME!!!0 -
I hate it when people try to tell me that I will never reach my goals...
Me: I want to be a size 2.
Poopoo head naysayer: You will never be a size 2 because you have big hips.
Me: I have big hips because I am fat right now, but when I am a size 2 they won't be so fat!
I actually had this conversation with someone when I was around 175 pounds/size 16. He said I had a "large frame" because my wrists and ankles were fat and my feet were wide. Moron.0 -
I hate it when people try to tell me that I will never reach my goals...
Me: I want to be a size 2.
Poopoo head naysayer: You will never be a size 2 because you have big hips.
Me: I have big hips because I am fat right now, but when I am a size 2 they won't be so fat!
I actually had this conversation with someone when I was around 175 pounds/size 16. He said I had a "large frame" because my wrists and ankles were fat and my feet were wide. Moron.
YES!!!! When I was at my largest, and had just started dieting (on WeightWatchers), I announced with Glee to my co-worked that I had bought some wet look-style skinny pants in a UK size 10 (I was a UK 22) as they were on sale (I think I got them for like 4pounds!). My colleague thrust a really bitc*hy look at me and said, in a really snarky tone "Even *I* don't fit in a size 10". I don't work there anymore, but these days I wear those trousers with pride!
And another one:
"You're tiny!" - I get this one from my sister (who is about 2 sizes smaller than me). I know she's trying to boost my confidence but I'm a UK 12 (US 8), and a UK10 in some pants / shorts. I'm smaller than I was, yes (at my largest I was about a UK 22? / US 18), but I'd hardly say I'm tiny by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, as I'm so short, I'm still chubby even at a size 10-12.
I also get irrationally annoyed when people say "You look well" - because to me (I don't know if this is a British thing), well is something you say to somebody who has gained a bit of weight when you want to be polite!0 -
Some of the comments that really piss me off are:
1. OH MY GOD have you lost weight.
2. Your already SKINNY so you don't need to lose weight ( Hello I weigh roughly 44 kgs at 4ft9, I am short so therefore I feel fat and probably look bigger than what I would if I weighed that much if I was taller).
3. You shouldn't eat that or you will get FAT.
4. Your ANOREXIC, you need to eat more and gain weight, I want to see you CHUBBY/CHUNKY.
I have heard plenty more, they are just the ones that I hear constantly so they annoy me the most.0 -
My guy has been supportive ... "you are doing great"... "looking good" etc. I maintained on purpose for the month of June, didn't try to lose anything. I even didn't log my food for a week. He asked why I wasn't on MFP as much..."but you were doing so well..." Ever since then he is asking if I am logging my food. This weekend we went out for dinner a couple times..." a second on the lips..." and "should you have that..." I looked at him and politely asked him to just shut up. "what?? I am trying to be encouraging....you had been doing so well..." When we got home I told him that I appreciated him trying to be encouraging, but he was just pissing me off. He agreed to just let me do my thing with out being encouraging....just supportive.0
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A friend told me " You would look gross if you weighed 150lbs"...keep in mind I currently weigh 342 and 170 is the high end of the normal BMI range I SHOULD be in....0
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You have SUCH a pretty face its just your belly you need to work on....LIKE OK AM I MADE OF PLAY DUH??? LET ME MOLD U A SIX PACK SO U CAN SHUT IT ...
LMAO- thats just funny... let me mold a 6 pack.. . ha ha ha!!0 -
Here's what i want to hear:
You're doing well/great/super/a good job/etc
I am proud of you
Keep up the hard work
Here's what i don't want to hear:
How your friend/neighbor/relative/cat/dog/gerbil lost weight
Your diatribe on the good/evil/indifference of dieting/exercise/nutrition
How much better i must feel
How hard it must be for me to change so much about my lifestyle
How it must suck to eat what I eat now
How I must be tired of this/tired of working out
How i've proven it's so easy, why didn't i do it before
Here's what sets me over the edge:
Your daughter deserves a daddy who lives to see her grow up (and anything along these lines)
I however do not mind answering questions - about my lifestyle changes - nutrition, exercise, etc. I generally just don't want to focus on it - it's just who I am now, and we aren't friends because of what i eat or don't eat, we are friends because of other reasons that have not changed, lets talk about that stuff.0 -
#1 "You are too skinny" ... no I'm NOT!!! I am FIT!
#2 "You don't eat enough" .... uhm... yes I do... 1500cal is my base and I usually eat all the calories that I burn which is, most of the time, about 500cal... meaning most days I eat 2000 calories... plenty enough food...
#3 "Men prefer a women with more curves..." really??? ok... I NEVER got this kinda attention before from the opposite sex... ever... and I was curvy but never heavy.... had bigger butt and boobs.... they might say that but that hasn't been my experience.
#4 "You weren't big before..." Yes... I know. This wasn't about getting skinny.... it's about being lean and fit.
#5 "Are you still on your diet?" Uhmmm.... not a diet... a lifestyle change!!! I changed my relationship with food and I don't plan on going back!
#6 "You work out too much..." ...Yes... it's my hobby... I do it a lot and I enjoy it! What's wrong with that???
#7 "I think you looked better before" .... while I appreciate your opinion... it's my life and my body.... I have to live with it. I am happier this way. When it comes down to it... the only opinion that really matters is mine and my husbands... and he loves me this way.
I'm sure there are more. I, personally, am really I'm tired of the unsupportive comments. I wish people would just keep their negative opinions to themselves.
^^I pretty much could have written that post!!! I know I wasn't big before, but I wasn't healthy...now I am!! I eat a ton of food, and work out a ton...I do not starve myself. I am NOT anorexic, and to assume so is just plain rude and hurtful!0 -
For me, it's "you don't need to lose any more weight". While it sounds like a compliment and I know they don't mean any harm by it, it can be irritating, especially since they can't seem this layer of belly fat that I hide so well.
This is the one for me. I hate it with a passion because it feels like I need to explain why I am still not at my final goal and that I am not at a healthy bmi and I just know how to dress to hide my stomach. I have noticed this usually comes from older people 60+.
This!! I am so tired of explaining to people that it's not necessarily losing "weight" but losing "fat" and changing shape. I can feel the muscles under there but there's that horribly wobbly squidgy flabby jiggly flab sitting over the top that just needs to go!!
Also people are astonished that I cycle to work every day (hello, been doing it for 18 months now apart from when it snowed!!!).
And like a lot of other people here - "What have you cut out", "What diet are you on", "Are you actually eating anything?", "Are you sure you can eat that?". Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. :explode:
They're all surprised when I tell them that I'm probably eating more than ever and that we STILL have fish and chips every single Friday night after our horse-riding lesson. Bhahahahaha!!! Why is it everyone expects you to tell them that there's a special magic pill that will just make that flab melt away??? NOPE!0 -
I HATE it when people call me skinny. I'm not nor will I ever be skinny. Tell me I look great. Tell me you can tell I've lost weight. But tell me I look skinny? Please! I'm still in the official "obese" range. Kate Moss was skinny. Twiggy was skinny. Even at my goal weight, I won't be skinny.
I also hate when people think I must have so much more energy now. I don't. Never have. I've lost a ton of weight before, and people would say this. It's not true for me. I don't have a lot of energy, period. It's a struggle. Maybe it's a mental thing. But losing 33 pounds, I don't have any more energy than I did when I started. Motivation, maybe. But not energy.
And I really hate when people tell me I look great, "not that you didn't look great before." It's like they're scared of offending me. Just say I look great. Don't caveat it because then I really WILL feel like you think I looked terrible before.0 -
Before I had begun to lose weight, my boss (who is totally known for saying the most horrible things to people) came into the room as I was comiserating with a coworker about our weight loss struggles. We were discussing exercise and my boss looked at me and said, "you don't exercise at all, do you?" Um, actually, I do, b#@%%!0
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My friend this weekend after I showed her pics of my 'skinny' self from just 3 years ago... "Wow. I wouldn't even recongnize you."
I've gained 45 lbs, not 145 lbs. I have the same hair, smile, eyes. WTF, are you freaking kidding me?? Yes, I looked much better then, but "wouldnt' recognize!!!" F U.0 -
This one made me red the other day:
"Well it's much easier for guys to lose weight."
Yeah. I've dropped nearly 30lbs because it's so easy. And the reason you can't is because you're a woman. Not because you're having a donut with extra sweet iced tea for breakfast. It's our gender! Really why do I even bother going to the gym? The weight's just gonna melt off me on account of my penis.0 -
not sure if somebody already said this.. but
about a month ago i saw a girl who i hadnt seen in a year and the first thing she said to me was 'omg hi! i didn't expect you to look as good as you do'
really? thanks.. so i obviously looked horrible before.
i just used it as motivation
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For me, it's "you don't need to lose any more weight". While it sounds like a compliment and I know they don't mean any harm by it, it can be irritating, especially since they can't seem this layer of belly fat that I hide so well.
This!!! Or just being told I look fine the way I am. Yahhh, well y'all don't live in my body and ya don't see the everlasting muffin top that doesn't go away when i take my nice and comfortable, not tight at all, pants/shorts off.0 -
Dad says " How much have you lost so far?"
Me "30 pounds"
Dad "Hey if you loose another 30 people might start to notice"
Your dad can bite me.0 -
"you? go to the gym? yeah right"
This drives me up the freaking wall. It just seems like there are some people out there who feel like only healthy/fit people go to the gym. Really?
Also when I told my mom I had dropped weight and was 183 down from 188, she said, "No way, you don't weigh 183 pounds. I would have thought you were 160 /at most/."
That severely upset me, because I know what I look like, and I do not look like I weight 160 pounds. I know she was trying to make me feel better, but it was just one of those things that got to me.0 -
This one made me red the other day:
"Well it's much easier for guys to lose weight."
Yeah. I've dropped nearly 30lbs because it's so easy. And the reason you can't is because you're a woman. Not because you're having a donut with extra sweet iced tea for breakfast. It's our gender! Really why do I even bother going to the gym? The weight's just gonna melt off me on account of my penis.
There's a decent amount of women out there who will pull the gender card when it comes to stuff like this, and it's not just you. It infuriates me too. Having boobies means nothing.0 -
that is the one i hear about ,i try go to gym 5 days week .now my friends say i am over doing on exercise . I say NO! i really enjoy my exercise time and I have lost 29 pds. I will stick with my dieting(changing my old eating habits)and my 5 day week_1 hour work out! I am doing this for me! so like it or kiss my a_ _! lol !0
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I had someone recently say to me, "Wow! You're looking really good! You've lost a lot of weight! I hate you."
I told her, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!" and tossed my hair like a supermodel.
She did then go on to ask me about how I was doing it and I told her with commitment and dedication and that I'd be happy to talk to her further about it if she really wanted to know. But yeah, the "I hate you" part kind of irritated me! 0 -
When I started losing weight:
"You look so much better!" or "You look great now!"
So then how did I look before?
And now that I'm strength training to tone up, a guy told me "Wow, you're a lot stronger then you look!"
Sooo, I look weak or what? kiss my *kitten*.0 -
i hate it when people say "why are you losing weight?" ah, well because i'm over 300# or whey then say "your boobs are the first thing to go when you lose weight"0
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This one made me red the other day:
"Well it's much easier for guys to lose weight."
Yeah. I've dropped nearly 30lbs because it's so easy. And the reason you can't is because you're a woman. Not because you're having a donut with extra sweet iced tea for breakfast. It's our gender! Really why do I even bother going to the gym? The weight's just gonna melt off me on account of my penis.
haha i love this!!0 -
I told my cousin today that my doctor complimented me on looking so much thinner and he looked at me and was like, "Yeah, then he said 'what a fat b~' on the way out the door. I NEVER use the f-bomb, but I told my cousin to F off!! I was so pissed!! Later he said he was just jealous because nobody says anything like that to him. I was like, HELLO?? You're not working out OR dieting!!!0
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