Any 'child-free by choice' people out there?

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  • NKF92879
    NKF92879 Posts: 601 Member
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    Me too!!! I'm married and my husband's in total agreement. I teach 7th grade. I have 100 kids every day; I don't want any at home. I love kids, especially when I can give them back to someone else. :ohwell: My dog is my baby. :heart:
  • Mishy
    Mishy Posts: 1,551 Member
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    I'm not sure if I qualify as "by choice" because at one point I did try. Anyway.

    I'm 35, and have been married for hmmmm...7 years and have no children, and I loathe being asked if I have any children. One @ss hat even went as far as asking if I was sure I didn't have kids.

    Perhaps the only thing I dislike more is when people say that one day I'll be blessed with kids. C'mon! I feel pretty damn blessed/fortunate to be living the life I have NOW.

    ::: jumping from soap box :::
  • Ang5669
    Ang5669 Posts: 14 Member
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    Never EVER wanted them....have had no regrets so far and I am now 41.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,108 Member
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    Well, I'm 57 with no kids, by choice. I can say that I made the right decision. I knew as a teenager that I wasn't going to have kids.


    At my age, people have stopped saying "Oh, you still have time" :laugh:

    That got real old.
  • crackers3333
    crackers3333 Posts: 8
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    been there done that and a'int ever going back haha
    one grown up daughter now and as much as she means the
    world to me, i'd never do it again......

    it just strokes for different folks.........:wink:
  • masihskitter4god
    masihskitter4god Posts: 11
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    I'm 26 and am also a teacher. My mother asks me quite often when I'm going to settle down and have her some grandchildren (she's got 1 from my sister). I show her pictures from the plays I do at school with my students and say, "There are your grandchildren." I love teens and pre-teens, but have little use for young children. I would be a horrible mother to little kids. If I ever get married, I would like to adopt teens who need a home and encouragement their last few years before adulthood, but for now, I have a saying, "The best part about being a teacher is that I can have as many kids as I want and at the end of the day, they go home with somebody else!"
  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
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    One more thought I had; How many people have children who shouldn't? When I look around, I would say clearly, 30% of parents should have been sterilized before they brought children into this world. Just think; you need a license to drive, own a business, cut hair, be a manicurist, a pharmacist, and just about any other profession, but any ill equipped, irresponsible, loser can have a kid. Maybe a license should be required for child bearing. Which to me is a the biggest responsibilty that there is. Just a thought.
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
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    Oh, I should also mention that I don't give a damn who likes it and who doesn't.
  • MsKittyCAT
    MsKittyCAT Posts: 217
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    I'm 42, never married, and no kids. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy when I was still in my 20's and at the time it was a really hard thing to deal with and I became pretty bitter and anti-kid for a while. Now I have to believe there was a reason for it, perhaps I just wouldn't have been a good mom, who knows? But I do know that when dating and I tell guys I'm not able to have kids sometimes that is a deal breaker. And at this stage of my life I really don't wanna be a step-mom to someone else's young children. I'm not interested in diapers and growing pains and attitudes.
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
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    LORINA!!

    :drinker:

    I didn't know you'd been a vet tech! Small world!

    My whole life people have been telling me I'll change my mind too - "When you're 20.....30...... ( and probably 40 and right before menopause, haha) " , "When you find the right one...." (to this I say, I've found the right one - and still no change, haha!)
  • boog_hudson
    boog_hudson Posts: 9 Member
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    I love this topic because I've never seen a post that promotes not having kids. I started saying I wasn't having kids when I was in high school and nobody took me seriously. Now I'm 33, married (to a husband who also doesn't want kids), and my family has come to terms with the fact that it's not going to happen. Fortunately my parents are great and my mom even calls our two dogs her "grandpups." I also enjoy spending time with my nieces and nephews. Then I enjoy sending them home! :laugh:
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
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    Me too! It's great to know that there are others out there, I'm 27 and I hate the awkward questions.... Sometimes I feel like you arent really considered a woman unless you have a baby

    Nice to meet you!

    I could go on and on about the fact that society makes you feel like you're not 'truly a woman' unless you have children sometimes.

    There's a LOT of things that make me a VERY strong, independent, kick - butt woman and having a kid isn't one of them! Kudos to those who choose to do so, but I'm just sayin!
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
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    Yes, and I agree with you that people look at you like you've got three heads in the south if you're unmarried and like you've got five heads if you don't have kids. Much less of that in the north. ;) I couldn't get out of Atlanta fast enough!

    It's almost like it's expected to follow the 'norm' in the south......grow up, get married, have 2.5 kids, be a housewife.....all that :)
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
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    I am married and have kids, so obviously I can't join your group...But I wanted to tell you about a woman I used to work with. She and her husband also decided not to have kids and they started a wine club in their area to meet others who were child-free by choice. They had so much fun! Anyway, you can find other who are like minded, just keep trying.

    That is SUCH a good idea!!! Thanks!! Nice to meet you, btw! :flowerforyou:
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    ME! Hubby and I are definitely child-free by choice. When we first got married, we assumed we'd have kids. I limited that to one b/c I didn't want more. But after a couple of years of sometimes saying to each other, "Aren't you glad we don't have kids yet?" We started dropping the word "yet." Then we started asking ourselves if we really wanted children. Was there a rule somewhere that said we had to? No. So we decided not to. We gave it a lot of thought. Heck, I wish some parents would give their decision half as much thought. We are also in the "south." Most people seem OK with it. Every so often, we find someone who thinks it's weird or selfish of us. How is it selfish to NOT have kids when we don't want them in the first place? Wouldn't it be selfish to go ahead and have kids when we don't want them?
  • Kimbie500
    Kimbie500 Posts: 388 Member
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    We don't, either. I always assumed I'd have kids and wanted several - lived in the country growing up and was very lonely. Hubby and I married young and put off procreation until we were both out of school. Then until we could afford them. (Yes, I know the whole "You'll never be able to afford them" thing - but it just didn't seem like the responsible thing to do when we could barely feed and clothe ourselves...) Then we had a "lifestyle" - I have a horse and would have to take time off from riding, DH was into golf and other time consuming hobbies, etc. The next thing you know, we've been married for 15 years and are in our mid-30's and still have no kids. I'm 40 now and can't see myself running after a toddler or getting up multiple times in the night for feedings, so I guess we've decided. Plus, my niece is about to make me a great aunt! One of my fears is that I'll regret it when I'm too old to do anything about it, but at this point, I'm happy that life can be all about me....
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    oh and to top it off I am the only person on my team at work with no kids and most of theirs I could care less about so we are very limited on the small talk at work.
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
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    ive got some, but i can totally understand why people wouldnt want them. Ive got a lot of friends who are child free.

    i think its a perfectly valid lifestyle choice, and as much as i love my kids, i cant say im not jealous of the childless sometimes
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
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    I am married and have kids, so obviously I can't join your group...But I wanted to tell you about a woman I used to work with. She and her husband also decided not to have kids and they started a wine club in their area to meet others who were child-free by choice. They had so much fun! Anyway, you can find other who are like minded, just keep trying.

    Same here, cant join the group but wanted to say where ive been on both sides of the spectrum. I use to be against having kids till i met my hubby but that changed. Not everyone should have kids just because its the "norm" or the way society views it. Overall though as long as you are happy with your current situation thats all that matters :flowerforyou:
  • NoWeighJose74
    NoWeighJose74 Posts: 581 Member
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    I'm 36 and married going on 9 years. We have no kids by choice.
    Our "kids" are our pets! :smile:

    I'm still too much of a kid myself to contemplate being charged with the care of one of my own.
    Besides, the world isn't ready for one of my devil-spawn.

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