Any 'child-free by choice' people out there?

mandeiko

:drinker: Me!

I just have no maternal instincts towards human babies. I've been a vet tech, too, and have 7 cats and a dog, so all my motherly urges are satisfied with them. I'm sooooo happy my husband is like-minded on the matter.

People like to try to tell me I'll change my mind. Someone told me that The Clock would start ticking when I hit 30. I was 37 when she told me that. :laugh: I'm 39 now, and there's still no ticking.

I'm going into the animal field, and I feel this exact way. Pups and kits will satisfy my motherly instincts

mandeiko

I am the same! everyone I tell is "what??" "no way" "surely not" "thatll change when you get older"
No it wont, I have never wanted kids, marriage, a nice house, a nice car, a wee puppy and a good job is all i have ever wanted out of life but people think I am nuts when I say this haha. i have no maternal instincts what so ever

This sums me up perfectly!!

CassieLEO

I have two kids, but I am not the most maternal person in the world, and if I wasnt fertile-myrtle I prolly wouldnt have had kids. But I love them with all my heart and soul, I just am not a big mommy person. I worked pediatrics for 10 years and I learned that I really am not a fan of little kids. It sounds horrible I know, I dunno, call me what you want. LOL!!

Also, my 14 year old daughter that lives with me will be 18 in four years and I am counting down the days till freedom, believe me. My son lives with his dad, who is the maternal one, and im all set. I cant wait. Its horrible and I cant believe I am saying this LOL!!

mandeiko

I have two kids, but I am not the most maternal person in the world, and if I wasnt fertile-myrtle I prolly wouldnt have had kids. But I love them with all my heart and soul, I just am not a big mommy person. I worked pediatrics for 10 years and I learned that I really am not a fan of little kids. It sounds horrible I know, I dunno, call me what you want. LOL!!

Also, my 14 year old daughter that lives with me will be 18 in four years and I am counting down the days till freedom, believe me. My son lives with his dad, who is the maternal one, and im all set. I cant wait. Its horrible and I cant believe I am saying this LOL!!

It's not horrible!! I was going to school (Got my bachelor's) in elementary education. Student taught, and realized that I don't like kids as much as I had thought! Now I'm going back to school for animal behavior

Phoenyxtears

I'm one. I worked at Toys R Us for 2 years and that is the best birth control ever. I love my freedom!

Honestly, I want to travel, and would like to for a living. It works for some, but I don't want to put a kid through the stress of constantly moving, and is unable to establish real roots and friends. Selfish, but meh.

3ur3ka

I never wanted kids, but I got one anyway. Oops.

SweetTeaBlossom

I like this thread.

I'm child-free, marriage-free, pet-free by choice. It's a huge responsibility to be a good parent. I've never wanted to be responsible for another human being. Also, homework, school plays, prom and all that stuff doesn't interest me one iota. It didn't interest me when I went through it. I only ever wanted freedom, freedom, freedom.

I like having the option to travel at a moment's notice or I can just stare at the wall if I choose. I'm self-employed. No one depends on me and it feels great. My life is even better now that I've turned 40 and started losing some weight.

I'm pretty sure I don't want to have any kids. Well, at least, I don't want to birth any kids. I'm still toying with the idea of adopting a couple older kids sometime. Lots of people tell me I'd be a great mom. I like babies. But I've worked in Child Protective Services and with kids who have been sexually abused...........and that's pretty much ruined me as far as being a mom. I'd like to at least be a wife though! Where's my freaking husband?! ;o)

Sometimes the marriage thing crosses my mind, but I can only consider it with a Norwegian man. That idea got stuck in my head when I was a little kid. I wouldn't mind being a step-mother to older children (10 and up). Just as long as it's not all on my shoulders.

I'm only 20 but I seem to be the only girl from my high school class year that doesn't have a kid/is pregnant. I'm cool with other people's kids but for me, kids just don't fit into my little plan anywhere.
That and if I have kids I lose the luxury of being able to afford stuff for myself.... selfish but meh.

It's not selfish. It's smart. You're being realistic about what you want/need for your life. More people (especially young women) need to think long and hard about their lives and be honest about what they want for themselves and go for it - even if it goes against the norm. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself first if you're not hurting anyone.

bookyeti

I have never had the "mom" instinct. I love my nieces and nephews, but don't have a clue what to do with them. New baby? Oh, that's nice. No I don't want to hold your new baby. I never played with baby dolls as a child, I wanted Barbies (but got a "Sindy" doll because my mom thought Barbie was too mature for a young girl)

I laughed when I read this because I feel exactly the same way.

Kids are 'foreign' to me. Have no idea what to do with them, and have no desire to learn. And I've had to tell several new Moms who want me to hold their babies that I'd rather not...as politely as possible. Despite that, I usually get the strangest looks. I also don't "coo" and go on over babies either, though I do find Asian babies particularly adorable!

I've never played "house" or with dolls either. In fact, a friend of my Mom's tried to give me a Barbie, and it made me scream and cry so loud, she took it back and got me a teddy bear instead. LOL. Foreshadowing of things to come?

jo2907

I'm 29 married for 5 years been with my hubby for 10 years now. I've never wanted kids, never been maternal, i've allways perfered to have animals.

I have an 11 yr old stepdaughter and my hubb's neice and nephews who are all great and i love them to bits, i just dont want any of my own! I have 2 cats and a dog who are plenty for me to care for at the moment.

My mum keeps asking when i am having childrenn and dropping hints that her friends have new grandchildren. I just keep telling her she has a granddog, i even tell my dog that Nanny is coming to see him or take him out, i think it winds her up a bit, lol!

Its nice to see so many like minded people on here!

mznisaelaine

I'm only 21 and I always wanted to be married young (needs a boyfriend first lol) but I love kids and wants to work with them but at the moment I don't want any. I always said I want at least 0-2 kids. I think I have that maternal quality, I think my biggest fear is going through the 9 months and labor!! So I said at no kids... But maybe many many many many years from now I will change my mind. And everyone I went to high school with has kids already! I'm still waiting to be an auntie first... I know this isn't part of the question but have I always wanted to be married and married young? Yes lol... Do I want to have kids? No (at least by choice for now)..

calibri

I don't want any critters, but I would like to be a surrogate purely for the benefits it offers me (lower risk of ovarian cancer). I'm on reserve for a friend if she doesn't have a baby before she turns 30. :laugh:

2_young_2B_old

Hi everyone. I thought I'd introduce myself here, because I could use some camaraderie in this whole child-free decision. Me and My husband were married 3 weeks ago, and have discussed ad nauseum the reason to or not to breed. Not to always wins. I live in the DFW(Tx) area, so I understand looking like 3 headed baby eating monster every time the whys to no kids comes up.

I'm not new to MFP, but I pretty much bailed during the wedding planning process on everything so I deleted my first account and made a new one. I hadn't posted or anything so this time I'd like to be more involved the site. Good luck to everyone!

shmiracles

just saying 'hi'! and introducing myself since i just joined MFP.

i am soon to be 36 and was electively sterilized when i was 30. i waited until then because i got a lot of the 'you'll feel different when you hit 30' thing, and i did see friends turn 30 and go baby crazy. but i knew since i was in middle school that i didn't want kids and my feelings never changed.

i am proud of my non-traditional choice. it was a very meaningful decision for me, it was an easy procedure, and as a bonus it resolved a lot of hormonal issues and stress problems that i was trying to cope with at the time.

my mother is the second of 4 daughters, and only 2 of the 4 ever had children. i also have 2 sisters who are over 30 and they do not want children either. it's something we've never wanted and we suspect it might be hereditary. still waiting for the scientific study on that. hah

midschool22

No kids here. Nope. No way. No how.

shmiracles

my mother is the second of 4 daughters, and only 2 of the 4 ever had children. i also have 2 sisters who are over 30 and they do not want children either. it's something we've never wanted and we suspect it might be hereditary. still waiting for the scientific study on that. hah

oh, i also just realized that i have only 1 female cousin on my mom's side and she too is childfree. actually, of all 4 of my cousins on my mom's side, only 1 male has 1 child. that's one offspring out of seven adults.

now i'm curious about everyone else's families, and if choosing a childfree life seems to be a trend or shared family trait?

33neenaj

right here

KCoolBeanz

Who has two thumbs and no kids? THIS GAL!!!

Seriously though, I've never had any desire to have kids, and it's something I've always been vocal about. Some people congratulate me for being ballsy enough to admit it (which I'll never undertand), some people think I'm selfish, and some people seem to think I have something emotionally wrong with me.

I love kids, and I don't have anything against kids, or people who have them! I've dated guys with kids in the past, and that's fine with me. Also, I have a 4 month old nephew who I can spoil rotten and cute baby fix from.

Maybe one day in the future that might change? You never know, but I'm not betting on it!

DrMAvDPhD

Child free here. When we got married, DH and I agreed that the topic of children can be discussed on our 10 year anniversary. I haven't had a change of heart yet ;-)

YokoJ

I'm child free....but I deff plan to have children when the right man comes along.

soo_z

I go back and forth all of the time. Growing up I never had a desire to have children. Now that my friends are getting married and having children around me, I'm wondering if my current very small want stems from wanting to be part of the "club". My significant other has never had a desire to have children and nearly has a panic attack and the thought of us getting pregnant. He was joking the other night that we should try and that's when I knew I absolutely, without a doubt, was not ready. Maybe some day, but as of right now, I'd have to say I'm okay with never having children. I'm always open to re-discussing it in the future.

tungsten93

Me. I knew when I was 7 that I never wanted children. When I was 23 I tried to get my tubes tied but my doctor said I'd change my mind. Now over 20 years later I have not changed my mind and I'm still happily child-free.

tungsten93

One more thought I had; How many people have children who shouldn't? When I look around, I would say clearly, 30% of parents should have been sterilized before they brought children into this world. Just think; you need a license to drive, own a business, cut hair, be a manicurist, a pharmacist, and just about any other profession, but any ill equipped, irresponsible, loser can have a kid. Maybe a license should be required for child bearing. Which to me is a the biggest responsibilty that there is. Just a thought.

shmiracles

my mother is the second of 4 daughters, and only 2 of the 4 ever had children. i also have 2 sisters who are over 30 and they do not want children either. it's something we've never wanted and we suspect it might be hereditary. still waiting for the scientific study on that. hah

oh, i also just realized that i have only 1 female cousin on my mom's side and she too is childfree. actually, of all 4 of my cousins on my mom's side, only 1 male has 1 child. that's one offspring out of seven adults.

now i'm curious about everyone else's families, and if choosing a childfree life seems to be a trend or shared family trait?

okay okay, i was wrong! the cousin that i THOUGHT had a child doesn't have a child after all.

that means that out of seven offspring, all over 30 yrs old, not a single one chose to have kids. i think that's kinda uncommon but maybe i'm wrong.
basically my mother's side of the bloodline ends with my generation. (i do genealogy research as a hobby.)

mfoulkebrown

I'm 32 (husband is 34), we don't have or want to have kids at the moment. I supose the biological clock could kick in, but it hasn't yet and I don't expect it to. I've never really wanted kids.

We periodically check in with each other to see if we both feel the same way and as of now, we have.

I used to be worried that the clock would start ticking right about the time I'm too old to have children, but then I realized I wouldn't be too old to adopt. IMO, adopting is probably the better way to go, anyway. So many unwanted children that could use a good home.

It's great to be DINKs (Dual income, no kids)!

RealWomenLovePitbulls

we are child-free FOR NOW... by choice (25 and 26) but in the next couple of years, we do want kids

bodymindmusic

41 - no kids, 2 cats, 4 dogs a rooster, 3 hens and a bunch of guineas. married and love my life!

jennmpantoja

I'm 34, single and pretty happy that I do not have any kids. I never really wanted any because to be honest I really think that "biological clock" thing does not work in my body. Plus for me not being married really has made my mind up.

yusaku02

bodymindmusic wrote: »

41 - no kids, 2 cats, 4 dogs a rooster, 3 hens and a bunch of guineas. married and love my life!

Are you a necromancer?

CooperSprings

For now.
Not for ever.