Any 'child-free by choice' people out there?

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  • nhgirl30
    nhgirl30 Posts: 52 Member
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    My husband and I don't want kids either, in our home state of New Hampshire that choice was respected. Since we moved to Arkansas people judge me as abnormal for this. Am I abnormal because I know I don't have the money or desire to raise a child therefore take percautions to ensure I don't have one? I think more people should think about child rearing before they lie down, there are so many unwanted unprovided for children out there who deserve better.
  • mikki3
    mikki3 Posts: 63
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    Me! I'm 41 and have been with my husband for almost 21 years, who also didn't want kids. Every once in a while one of us would ask the other "are you sure?" Neither of us ever said no. I love other people's kids, especially my fabulous niece and nephew, but never had the urge to have one of my own.

    It can be very difficult when meeting new people. It seems the first rule of small talk is to ask about the other's kids. I've been called selfish and told it was my "duty" to have children by complete strangers. Huh? Wouldn't it be selfish to have a child just to fit into society's norms? I've learned to answer the question with "I haven't been blessed with children. How about you?" spend the next few minutes listening and then try to steer the conversation to other topics.

    Feel free to add me!

    Cheers!
    Michelle
  • pumpkinmoccasin
    pumpkinmoccasin Posts: 316
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    I'm 21 but my husband(28) and I have been married for 3 years and neither of us have ever had any desire for children. I can handle children in small doses but much prefer babying my dogs and my man. I'm also bipolar and the thought of having children when I can barely handle myself at times bothers me.

    I get a lot of pressure from my family and my in-laws to have children... My motto is "never say never" but neither of us can see ourselves wanting children within the next 10+ years
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
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    One more thought I had; How many people have children who shouldn't? When I look around, I would say clearly, 30% of parents should have been sterilized before they brought children into this world. Just think; you need a license to drive, own a business, cut hair, be a manicurist, a pharmacist, and just about any other profession, but any ill equipped, irresponsible, loser can have a kid. Maybe a license should be required for child bearing. Which to me is a the biggest responsibilty that there is. Just a thought.

    Amen!!

    I've been married almost 5 years, don't have kids, and don't really care for them.
  • frostiegurl
    frostiegurl Posts: 708 Member
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    *raises hand* 40 years old and no children either. Granted, my boyfriend has three (one is out of the house and the other two are 15 and 18) but I don't want kids and he doesn't want anymore. Perfect. I do have some absolutely gorgeous and delightful fur babies, though. Sophie, Apollo and Luna (our kitties), Ambi (our dog) and Elric (my rat).

    I spend plenty of time mothering my fur babies and to be honest it's challenging enough to get a pet sitter we can trust when we want to get away for a period of time, I can't even imagine being limited as to what we can do if we had little ones.
  • Pierced
    Pierced Posts: 36 Member
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    45 here and childless by choice. Had a few relationships end due to the fact they wanted kids and I did not. In my early 30's dated a man 6 years younger then myself that had 2 daughters every other weekend. That was ok but he wanted to add more too it, and I felt he need to take care of the 2 he already had. (call me crazy) :laugh:

    I travel allot with my work, so when meeting new people I get the question allot. And getting tired of strangers questioning my choices to be child free. When they ask why , I now reply I am not a fan. That shuts them up pretty fast, they are not sure how to respond.

    Been in the most productive relationship of my life for the past 8 years. He has a 14 year old son, when it's there weekend , that is there time to bond. We may have dinner or go to his sporting event. But I feel it's there time to be father and son. ( and my time to hang out with the girls:drinker: )
  • maryloo2011
    maryloo2011 Posts: 446
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    Child free by choice (that I know of...) so far. Love babies, love kids and would love to experience being pregnant BUT do not have the desire to raise kid(s) on a daily basis. I love my lifestyle just that tiny bit more.

    I am close to 30, married 5 years now.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
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    I suppose I'm part of this group. I plan on tying my tubes if I'm not in love and married by 30 and I don't believe in marrying someone until at least 4 years together (for me personally) so it's pretty much a guarantee I won't have kids since I'll be 30 in 3 years.

    To be honest, I still like being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm also still a bit at the selfish stage of my life and would not be willing to put my needs second to my child.
  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
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    There are very few kids I like of any age, I'm sure I would have raised one I loved but didn't like. That's scary to me.

    I have 4 sibs, 2 with kids, 2 without. Guess which ones are happier?
  • elsham
    elsham Posts: 549 Member
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    This is my kind of topic! I blogged about this about a year ago, and my opinion still stands:

    http://leylash.wordpress.com/2010/08/06/why-ill-pass-on-motherhood/
  • MedievalFreak
    MedievalFreak Posts: 55
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    Me! My husband and I have been married for 3 years now, and still no desire for children. I'm a travel freak, and he's in the military, so with the constant moving, and deployments and what now, I think our lifestyle is perfect for us. And besides, when he's away for long periods of time, I LOVE the me time I get. I cant imagine how I would care for a child. I guess it's selfish of me, but you know what, I'm ok with that.

    I also am mature enough to admit that I'm still young, and my priorities may change over time, and who knows, I could decide to have a dozen of them. But at this point, I find that unlikely.

    On the flip side, I do like kids, and volunteer a lot of my time teaching at risk children art. It's all just a perfect fit for me.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    I just realized I'm wearing my Albert Fish "I like children. They are tasty." t-shirt. :embarassed:
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    Not me but i have to say I have 2 awesome kids BUT I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU ARE SAYING! Enjoy your lives.

    Children are a huge sacrifice. No one can EVER prepare you for it. Its an *kitten* whooping sometimes. I do not regret my children at all. Its just information people with kids dont ever want to say! Its the truth.
  • rob_base
    rob_base Posts: 97
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    No kids here either, I have too much trouble taking care of myself and a dog....
  • katschi
    katschi Posts: 689 Member
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    I'm child free and I've never been married so I deal with a double dose of being inferior in other people's eyes. :tongue:
    I knew from a very early age that I didn't want kids and I've never had a moment's doubt about it.

    I resent being called selfish for this choice as well. I think it was a very adult decision to not give in to societal pressure to have kids when I knew I wouldn't be up for the job.

    I'm told by quite a few married, male co-workers than I am envied for my lifestyle decisions. :happy:

    I hear this from almost everyone with kids ... "I love my kids but if I had to do it again, I wouldn't."

    I do regret not ever having found a life partner though. That part haunts me.
  • lizzil0
    lizzil0 Posts: 181 Member
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    Another child-free one here!
    I'm 37 and have been with my man 10 years, we're not married and are not going to have kids. We own a restaurant and a dog and cat together, I feel like some people don't take our relationship seriously because we decided not to marry and have kids. I've got plenty of stuff going on in my life and love my free time (and money, and how I choose to spend it). There are enough people in the world as it is.
  • wlddove
    wlddove Posts: 85 Member
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    I'm pretty sure I don't want to have any kids. Well, at least, I don't want to birth any kids. I'm still toying with the idea of adopting a couple older kids sometime. Lots of people tell me I'd be a great mom. I like babies. But I've worked in Child Protective Services and with kids who have been sexually abused...........and that's pretty much ruined me as far as being a mom. I'd like to at least be a wife though! Where's my freaking husband?! ;o)
  • erinkeely4
    erinkeely4 Posts: 408 Member
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    I love kids! I'm a piano teacher, and I have 36 little students (and two adult students), and it's so much fun!

    However, I have no desire to have kids of my own. Maybe this desire will kick in a few years down the road... My mother and older sister both had no desire to have kids AT ALL, but then once they turned 28 the desire kicked in.
    I turn 27 this November, and 28 seems way to soon for me to want kids, if I end up wanting to have any at all. It's funny, because my mom always thought I'd be the first of her three daughters to have kids, since when I was a young teenager I used to say I wanted to have tons of kids (my imagined goal was 8 boys! Hahah!).

    My boyfriend and I both feel the same way, thankfully. We've been together for 3 and a half years. We both don't want kids, but also aren't ruling it out completely for later on.
  • Pink_turnip
    Pink_turnip Posts: 280 Member
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    I'm still young, only 22, but neither I nor my boyfriend have any desire to have children. We both know we might change our minds one day, but that day is nowhere near.

    I have friends that not only think I'm crazy for not wanting children, but think that because I don't want children of my own (nor do I ooh and awww over a strangers child), I must hate every single child in the world.

    I am apparently a baby hater.
  • erinkeely4
    erinkeely4 Posts: 408 Member
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    Another child-free one here!
    I'm 37 and have been with my man 10 years, we're not married and are not going to have kids. We own a restaurant and a dog and cat together, I feel like some people don't take our relationship seriously because we decided not to marry and have kids. I've got plenty of stuff going on in my life and love my free time (and money, and how I choose to spend it). There are enough people in the world as it is.

    Oh man. I relate to and agree with this so much!

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