Do you think fat people "ought" to lose weight?

hikeout470

Want to make it clear that none of my posts have to do with drug addiction, so stop judging me. I don't care about drug addiction, it does not interfere with my life, and if it did, I certainly would not be talking about it on a weight loss forum.

hikeout470

I think you could ask any drug addict and they'd tell you they get a lot more villified than someone does for being a bit podgy.

But clearly some people put those things on a par.

And I *seriously* resent the idea that anyone who is fat doesn't care for themselves. Life is about priorities, you can NEVER be perfect. Just because a person has other priorities above their weight doesn't mean they "don't care about themselves".

Now I think we are getting somewhere.

fteale

I think you could ask any drug addict and they'd tell you they get a lot more villified than someone does for being a bit podgy.

But clearly some people put those things on a par.

And I *seriously* resent the idea that anyone who is fat doesn't care for themselves. Life is about priorities, you can NEVER be perfect. Just because a person has other priorities above their weight doesn't mean they "don't care about themselves".

Of course people who are overweight care for themselves, but I do think they care for themselves in the wrong ways. Buying nice shoes, or getting a manicure isn't going to make you feel as good long term as getting fit. I think people kid themselves into the easy route.

BUT I don't think it's for anyone else to force someone to lose weight until they want to.

PJilly

I think you could ask any drug addict and they'd tell you they get a lot more villified than someone does for being a bit podgy.

But clearly some people put those things on a par.

And I *seriously* resent the idea that anyone who is fat doesn't care for themselves. Life is about priorities, you can NEVER be perfect. Just because a person has other priorities above their weight doesn't mean they "don't care about themselves".

I agree with you completely, but I also think you can drive yourself crazy worrying about what other people think.

FK1983

I don't pick and choose my friends & loved ones based on how they look, and wouldn't reject someone because of it. However, just because someone is overweight and does not have health problems now doesn't mean they won't in the future. I love my husband very, very much. He is obese and had been for years, without health problems until a few years ago he was diagnosed w/diabetes, and since then, he has deteriorated. He has failed to follow doctor's orders to lose weight & he is paying a big price for it (and the family too!). He has been hospitalized 5x this year for heart issues.

No, I don't reject people who are obese/overweight. Beauty is skin deep. But I don't know if you can be very overweight without suffering some kind of health problem down the road.

Just my 2 cents worth. :flowerforyou:

^ Toally agree to this

I've been there as have many others on here (being overweight) and even if they didn't have health problems now there is no doubt at all that if they stay overweight they will have serious health issues in the future.

When I was over 260lbs I was ALWAYS out of breath, I had a very rapid pulse (90bpm average) and had dangerously high blood pressure, I was only 27 years old! after losing the weight I have no issues at all, my blood pressure is actually a tad low! and my resting heart rate is 54bpm which is very good (it sounds low but if you walk/run/cycle/swim a lot this is expected so is actually very good lol)

So as someone who was very "large" I feel I do have more relation and understanding to this topic (same for anyone who was large and is now smaller), I think you'd have to be mad having a friend or loved one who could be in danger without ever at least trying to help, what if they had a heart attack and died and you never offered advice or help with their weight? I'd feel soooo guilty.

Would I say something to a stranger? no and that is up to them what they want to do but to a friend or loved one I certainly would offer help or any advice that I could but obviously in the nicest way possible!

SarahLovesCheesecake

fatness...

Is fatness a word?:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

PJilly

Yup. From dictionary.com:

fat•ness – noun
1. the state or condition of being fat; obesity; corpulence.
2. richness; fertility; abundance: the fatness of the land.
Origin: before 1000; Middle English fatnesse, Old English fǣtnes. See fat, -ness

koosdel

If someone is fat, and doesn't have health problems because of being fat, do you think they "should" lose weight? Would you in any way look down on them or reject them if they chose to live with their weight instead of struggling to change it?

Why or why not?

Do I think they should? Yes, but that isn't my decision. Though, it does irritate me when someone complains about an issue yet does nothing about it.

Look down on them? I must admit I would. Someone making an effort to be better I would respect. Someone who makes excuse after excuse, and shifts blame, not at all. Why should I?

writtenINthestars

I feel it is the most selfish form of acting out that a person can do.

So ...methamphetamine abuse, anorexia, having unprotected sex with strangers, dangerous driving, cutting - all these things PALE in the face of the great evil that is being 200lbs? Really?

Nope, they're all pretty equal in my eyes.

Please stop trying to rationalize things so you can hear what you truly want to hear.

I am ...flabbergasted there's people who think being 200lbs is equivalent to being a drug addict (and I am very sympathetic to drug addicts). It's shocking that people think like this

You'd really feel the same if your kid was fat as you would if you caught them smoking meth? Seriously?

My thing is whether my kid is smoking meth or filling their face...there is still a deep issue regardless of whatever method they choose to calm themselves. Are drug addicts better off? Of course not. But does that mean being overweight/obese is? Um no.

Again, my stance is what people do with their body is their business and the business of their family and friends. If you wouldn't tell a person they should lose weight, why would you tell anyone else struggling with the addictions you mentioned that they need to stop? Would you?! Most of them know they need to stop....but like someone who overeats or uses food as a crutch, they just don't know where to start. What irritated me is that your statements made it sound like being overweight is "just not a big deal".

lsd007

If someone is fat, and doesn't have health problems because of being fat, do you think they "should" lose weight? Would you in any way look down on them or reject them if they chose to live with their weight instead of struggling to change it?

Why or why not?

Weight is a personal choice. While it could affect those close to an overweight person (spouse, children, etc.) , it's not like he/she would be going around forcing his/her lifestyle on complete strangers. Besides, your view of "fat" may be completely different mine. If someone has no health side effects from being overweight than I am guessing they probably don't fall under my definition of "fat".

PositiveGoals

It's not a matter of "if" an obese person has health problems. It's a matter of "when" obese people will have health problems. Most obese people have sleep apnea and do not even know it. Sleep apnea can lead to some serious health problems. It is inevitable to become diabetic and develop cardiac issues. I won't go through the list of health risks. What I will say is the reason there are not many obese elderly people is because obese people do not live that long. The small handful of obese elderly actually get obese in their old age but spend a lifetime at a healthy weight.

For someone to be morbidly obese, there has to be some level of emotional issues, physical or emotional trauma, depression, or low self esteme. Many obese people have been physically or sexually abused. An even greater amount of obese people have abandonment issues. Usually stems from single family homes. (Please do not get hyper sensitive-this is from research not an opinion). I say that because I used to take offense to it having grown up in a single parent family. Then in my adult years met my father who is also morbidly obese LOL. So who knows. But nobody should judge anyone.

One final note. Those people who make comments like they do not believe an obese person cannot do exercise just because they are obese and can, they should not be so judgemental. Every person has a different build, height, age, and family history. If you have people in your family who have had heart attacks, you may be afraid to exercise when obese. I have my husband spot me even for aerobics and swimming just incase of a problem. Exercise is painful for many obese people (even at 250lbs) I started to struggle with exercise at 300lbs. I am now over 400lbs & can only exercise in a pool.

I was happy and proud to see the majority of people in this forum believe they should not judge. To answer directly, yes I do think fat people "ought" to lose weight. I believe this for their health, happiness, and future. Not because of the opinions of others, because of attractiveness, or because some misguided people see them as simply lazy.

Larius

Yes, for the public good. Those who overeat put a burden on our food and medical systems, raising the price of both for everyone. That doesn't sound like a "personal choice" to me. That sounds like a selfish decision at the expense of others. Please, think about how your choices effect others, including your friends and family.

myofibril

Yes, for the public good. Those who overeat put a burden on our food and medical systems, raising the price of both for everyone. That doesn't sound like a "personal choice" to me.

I don't know what the case is where you are but in the UK (where I am) obese people, like smokers, actually have a net benefit to the State in fiscal terms. Why? Because they die younger meaning less cost over the course of their lifetimes. One of the biggest issues facing most developed countries is that of any ageing population which exceeds the replacement rate.

You could argue that they have more benefit than fitter, healthier people who live longer and then take a huge amount of cost to support when they get elderly. Selfish slim people...

lsd007

I feel it is the most selfish form of acting out that a person can do.

So ...methamphetamine abuse, anorexia, having unprotected sex with strangers, dangerous driving, cutting - all these things PALE in the face of the great evil that is being 200lbs? Really?

Nope, they're all pretty equal in my eyes.

Please stop trying to rationalize things so you can hear what you truly want to hear.

Being overweight is the same as being a drug addict? Your ticker shows you have a bit of weight left to lose, so exactly how much "selfish acting out" have you done?

Don't judge people.

Larius

Yes, for the public good. Those who overeat put a burden on our food and medical systems, raising the price of both for everyone. That doesn't sound like a "personal choice" to me.

I don't know what the case is where you are but in the UK (where I am) obese people, like smokers, actually have a net benefit to the State in fiscal terms. Why? Because they die younger meaning less cost over the course of their lifetimes. One of the biggest issues facing most developed countries is that of any ageing population which exceeds the replacement rate.

You could argue that they have more benefit than fitter, healthier people who live longer and then take a huge amount of cost to support when they get elderly. Selfish slim people...

Got references?

leonardk09

You know what? You shouldn't determine someone's happiness based on what the greater good of the population "should be". If they are happy, then let them be. It's called body acceptance. A huge group of people in the US/UK/CA are fighting for body acceptance, and fat shaming is a huge issue.

myofibril

Got references?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1577636/Healthy-people-place-biggest-burden-on-state.html

I haven't read the study the article was based on I have to admit but logically it makes sense to me.

As the article also states this not to say that taking steps to curb obesity isn't desirable or indeed necessary. of course it is. However, using the "you place a greater burden on the taxpayer" stick on obese people is not warranted.

songbyrdsweet

I feel it is the most selfish form of acting out that a person can do.

So ...methamphetamine abuse, anorexia, having unprotected sex with strangers, dangerous driving, cutting - all these things PALE in the face of the great evil that is being 200lbs? Really?

Nope, they're all pretty equal in my eyes.

Please stop trying to rationalize things so you can hear what you truly want to hear.

So you would feel the same way about being a drug addict or getting an STD as you do about being overweight? I'm not obese but this boggles my mind. It is BOGGLED! I'd rather be overweight than have sex with strangers. Ew.

1953Judith

"Ought" is a laden word. I try to stay away from imposing that word on others. That said, do I think someone who is young and healthy here and now should be complacent with his or her obesity, I'd encourage them to think about long term health.

Health surprises pop up throughout the continuum of our lives. Obesity does impact surgeons, it can impact organs that aren't tested in routine physicals, our joints, our absorption of medications.

Larius

Got references?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1577636/Healthy-people-place-biggest-burden-on-state.html

I haven't read the study the article was based on I have to admit but logically it makes sense to me.

As the article also states this not to say that taking steps to curb obesity isn't desirable or indeed necessary. of course it is. However, using the "you place a greater burden on the taxpayer" stick on obese people is not warranted.

That just reinforces my point. Healthcare may not have been the best target, but I was trying to be brief.
From your article:
Writing in PLoS, he warned: “It would be wrong to interpret the findings as meaning that public-health prevention, for example to prevent obesity, has no benefits.
“Quite apart from health-care costs, the other costs to society from obesity are also greater because of absences from work due to illness and employment difficulties; these costs amount to considerably more than health-care costs.”

myofibril

“Quite apart from health-care costs, the other costs to society from obesity are also greater because of absences from work due to illness and employment difficulties; these costs amount to considerably more than health-care costs.”

That seems fair enough to me. In terms of the cost to the State it seems that healthy people impose a greater burden in medical terms at least. The cost to society is another matter on productivity and efficiency terms.

Swimgoddess

Is it odd I would say it doesn't effect me (military health insurance) and I don't care, but it bothers me if they are parents and passing their bad habits onto their kids? For some reason that has me biting my lip with worry. It's one thing to be an adult and come to terms with your situation, but it's another to put a child in what is nowadays a very volatile situation...

chezmama

I for one, would much rather my child be overweight or even obese than be hooked on meth. I work with at risk youth. If they are overweight, they can get fit, just as we are trying to do here. Once they get hooked on meth, they pretty much don't come back. It is the one "demon", if you will, that traps them almost completely. I don't give up on anyone, but all the persistence in the world (mine and theirs) is no match for a drug like meth. Being obese is not good at all, but if you compare obesity and meth addiction, there is no comparison as to which is worse.

myofibril

Is it odd I would say it doesn't effect me (military health insurance) and I don't care, but it bothers me if they are parents and passing their bad habits onto their kids?

No. I think that is rational.

I am sure I read somewhere that 95% of children who are obese by the time they turn 18 remain so throughout the rest of their lives. I think that emphasis needs to be placed in policy terms on this issue perhaps more than any other in tackling obesity.

If an adult wants to be obese and they do so after fully weighing up the consequences of their actions and they are happy then I do not have much of an issue with that. However, children rely on their parents to make decisions for them so to allow them a level playing field come adulthood their parents should make good choices for them.

boomboom011

my view is this if you wanna be oveweight then knock yourself out BUT DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT complain to me about it. Because then you will hear the truth. No need to sugar coat it.

I have NO ONE else to blame for my weight problem. However, i dont whine about it. Therefore I dont want to hear about it. Its a personal choice.

I have found that if someone is whining about their weight and I have told them that they can do something about it if they really want to they usually change the subject or our conversations get less and less. Dont talk to me if you want to be lied to. I love my family and friends too much to pee on their foot and tell them its raining.

People need to put their feelings aside when discussing things. Truth is truth. I have never met a truly happy overweight person. They may try to act like they are happy but once you break that shell and get real about things they all want to be smaller. If anyone says different I think they are full of caca! I dont think someone has to be skeletor skinny either. I personally like a little meat on my bones.

Swimgoddess

Whoa... just for the record, I never compared obese kids to meth-heads. Lol... Something like that would get this thread shut down quicker than one can blink.

I'm just recognizing that kids egos are a bit more fragile and less developed than an adult's and that most kids haven't recognized the need for tact, so childhood bullying can be a much harsher circumstance than adult discrimination.

Also, the only two circumstances where a person can actually multiply the number of fat cells in their body (as opposed to expanding and contracting their current stock) are adolescence and a mother during pregnancy. THAT'S why I find it a bit more disturbing if an obese person is a parent and forwarding their habits to their kids. It is considerably more difficult to keep a billion fat cells small than to keep a million fat cells small. Sure, a child can eventually lose enough weight to make those billion fat cells super tiny to look like a million normal sized fat cells, but they can never "ungrow" them.

hikeout470

I feel it is the most selfish form of acting out that a person can do.

So ...methamphetamine abuse, anorexia, having unprotected sex with strangers, dangerous driving, cutting - all these things PALE in the face of the great evil that is being 200lbs? Really?

Nope, they're all pretty equal in my eyes.

Please stop trying to rationalize things so you can hear what you truly want to hear.

So you would feel the same way about being a drug addict or getting an STD as you do about being overweight? I'm not obese but this boggles my mind. It is BOGGLED! I'd rather be overweight than have sex with strangers. Ew.

Don't really think that is what the post is saying.

B_L_A_Z_I_A_N

If someone is fat, and doesn't have health problems because of being fat, do you think they "should" lose weight? Would you in any way look down on them or reject them if they chose to live with their weight instead of struggling to change it?

Why or why not?

reject a fat girl...
its happened before.
a group of us were all going out for a celebratory dinner and afterparty and everyone was dressed up. well everyone except her. she came wearing tights and flip flops. like seriously? and it wasn't the first time either. were we all supposed to go sit on a couch in someone's house instead of going out just because she couldnt/wouldnt get herself together? i dont think so

i would reject someone based on their personality. not weight.

hikeout470

Got references?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1577636/Healthy-people-place-biggest-burden-on-state.html

I haven't read the study the article was based on I have to admit but logically it makes sense to me.

As the article also states this not to say that taking steps to curb obesity isn't desirable or indeed necessary. of course it is. However, using the "you place a greater burden on the taxpayer" stick on obese people is not warranted.

Actually in the United States it is a burden to the tax payers. So is a bunch of other things not weight related, like smoking, drug addiction (other), illegal immigration, etc. There is also one part of the people that want to limit benefits for the aging people just because of their age! Can you imagine that! Oh I am sorry, but you are x age and too old for us to treat your cancer... Awful! We also allow food to be sold to our citizens that contains chemical agents that are banned in your country and across Europe. Some of these chemicals cause people to become addicted to food! These chemicals make food companies lots of money. So, you see, our system is sort of screwed up right now. It is understandable that the people are a little upset about how things are going.

hazelnutflav

my view is this if you wanna be oveweight then knock yourself out BUT DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT complain to me about it. Because then you will hear the truth. No need to sugar coat it.

I have NO ONE else to blame for my weight problem. However, i dont whine about it. Therefore I dont want to hear about it. Its a personal choice.

I have found that if someone is whining about their weight and I have told them that they can do something about it if they really want to they usually change the subject or our conversations get less and less. Dont talk to me if you want to be lied to. I love my family and friends too much to pee on their foot and tell them its raining.

People need to put their feelings aside when discussing things. Truth is truth. I have never met a truly happy overweight person. They may try to act like they are happy but once you break that shell and get real about things they all want to be smaller. If anyone says different I think they are full of caca! I dont think someone has to be skeletor skinny either. I personally like a little meat on my bones.