Why don't fit semi buff guys like big girls?

Mountain_woman

I have ALWAYS had a weakness for chunky/husky guys. The oft neglected sexy gents they are! I'd rather date a chunky guy then a beanpole. Personal preference! I think folks in this thread are right. It comes to preference. I have a "heavier" girlfriend that only dates skinny dudes. Whatever rocks your boat.

mrmarius

i prefer curvy, i've noticed however my preferences have changed since ive made lifestyle changes although i'm married and not looking, i find it sexy when a woman is into fitness even if she's thicker

_beachgirl_

I was with an extremely fit guy who loved me for who i was, overweight and all! I don't think it has anything to do with a man being buff, I think it has to do with people being shallow and vain. Men and woman who don't give a person a chance because of the way they look, and why would you want to be with someone like that anyway?

tasman11

There is a difference between being curvy and being a fat girl . I think whenever someone sees a obese person the 1st thought is always man HE/SHE IS FAT!(in a negative sense). I myself have battled weight problems for years and am on a diet to loose a considerable amount of weight so nothing against over-weight people.As a overweight person myself i know people will think the same 'fat guy ' thingy about me .

Bottom Line-If your a curvy girl then most guys will be attracted to you.
If your an overweight/obese person then MOST people will not be attracted to you .(Remember i am using the word MOST )

Guy /girl-If you want a really hot partner loose weight!!! I like a fit slim girl and the girl would also want a slim guy! Harsh Reality Check!

sexforjaffacakes

A lot of guys say they want curvy girls, but when they say curvy they mean Beyonce. (Big boobs big butt) Or they basically just don't want an aneorexicly thin girls, and they say they like bigger girls but they mean bigger in opposition to sticks. When it comes to properly larger ladies, unless they're a genuine chubby chaser, they just seem to write these girls off as friends or messes. I'm not saying every guy does this, but most guys seem to. And of course girls do it to big guys too!

BeeElMarvin

Seems like you are REALLY generalizing. (and by the way, in this picture set, http://i54.tinypic.com/iwivbn.jpg , i like numbers 3 through 19, heh, heh...

tasman11

A lot of guys say they want curvy girls, but when they say curvy they mean Beyonce. (Big boobs big butt) Or they basically just don't want an aneorexicly thin girls, and they say they like bigger girls but they mean bigger in opposition to sticks. When it comes to properly larger ladies, unless they're a genuine chubby chaser, they just seem to write these girls off as friends or messes. I'm not saying every guy does this, but most guys seem to. And of course girls do it to big guys too!

True!
From a guys perspective Curvy means Catherine Zeta Jones ,Scarlet Johanson, Kim Kardashian type not a obese girl .
In short both sexes desire a slim partner !

myofibril

I think the guy was just being a jerk. He led her on asked for her number and when she was going to give it to him he said honey really I was just joking.

This guy was just a d*ck. However, I do think that some (though not all) reasonably attractive people have a completely distorted view of their own looks and tend to believe they are much better looking than they really are. This leads to a bit of conceit and an air of self entitlement which means they will write people off when in reality there isn't a huge distance in their "levels" in reality.

Women (and I suspect men as well) who are reasonably attractive have a large pool or people to pick from. An average guy will look at her and think "hey I stand a chance" and approach. Someone of her own level of attractiveness will think "we're a good match" and will make a play. Someone hotter than her will think "she's bound to say yes and looks alright" and will ask for a date.

Very attractive women (think runway model or underwear model) have a much narrower pool to pick from because a lot of men are too intimdated by their looks to even speak to them. Less attractive women will be *****y and make unfounded assumptions about them ("she's just a stuck up b*tch") Ironically, very beautiful women tend to be much more lonely, isolated or insecure about their looks because of the nonsense they have to deal with. I don't know if this would hold true for a man but it may well do. When they say "I think I look fat" or "I don't believe I am good looking" they are not lying or fishing for compliments. They actually mean it. The way people treat you unless you have a strong sense of self belief can have a significant impact on shaping your reality.

Don't pay lip service to the idea that it what's on the inside that counts or looks, in the final analysis, are meaningless. Believe it and act like it. Maybe that way we will all end up being a little happier...

MayMaydoesntrun

http://i54.tinypic.com/iwivbn.jpg

Check the link. I like body types 12, 13, and 11. Mostly 12.

But any bigger than that and it feels like no matter what your genetics, if you don't care about yourself enough to have the self discipline to stay somewhat in shape, why should we care?

Body size/type is only part of it too. Gotta have the personality to match it.

I hear ya, Avalonis! Those women in the pictures look good! And they are not stick thin, they have curves and look like WOMEN!:drinker:

Avalonis

Bump... because I like this thread and don't want it to die.

craft338

But any bigger than that and it feels like no matter what your genetics, if you don't care about yourself enough to have the self discipline to stay somewhat in shape, why should we care?

that guy just proved it. they're stereotyping and judging when they don't even know a person. it's just my opinion, but i think that's pretty shallow.

yeah, i'm getting healthy now because i'm lucky enough to have the money and the time, but while i was going to school full time and had THREE jobs, i'm sorry, but i just couldn't focus on my body. and don't tell me that i didn't care about myself or have self discipline when i graduated from college with a 4.0 while working 3 jobs to pay for it all. maybe i should have dropped out of school and quit one of my jobs so i could afford and have time to go to a gym or be able to buy healthy groceries.

now that i'm getting healthy, i spend a lot of money on healthy food and exercise. i can't afford nice clothes or to get my nails and hair done, does that mean i don't care about myself? or should i focus all of my time and energy to look pretty for you boys? i'd rather buy a pair of sneakers for walking than a sexy pair of shoes to impress you, or yoga pants rather than hot jeans. i guess either way, guys like that won't be happy.

sorry, i do care about myself, and i guess that's why i don't really care what the "buff guys" think of me.

craft338

sorry, my last post was a bit of a rant and i meant nothing personal to anyone. i didn't even look at the pictures of the body types or anything. i just think that it's wrong to assume that people who are overweight don't care, or are lazy, or whatever.

ok, now i'm done.

Qarol

I used to get annoyed when I'd see the petite, skinny girls with the bigger guys. I'm a plump chick, always will be. And I used to think that was a guy perfect for ME! Why does the skinny chick need him? She should go for the skinny guys. Not a fair thought, I know, but I'm not perfect.

I did finally find a guy who likes plump chicks. And I adore him! He says I'm perfect now and would prefer me to stop losing. But he supports me. He just always reminds me of how good I look now. It really helps. If I got bogged down in feeling ugly now, it would be hard to keep going on this journey.

Don't waste your time on anyone who won't love you for who you are. It's just not worth it. I'd rather be single forever than be in an unhappy relationship.

Avalonis

But any bigger than that and it feels like no matter what your genetics, if you don't care about yourself enough to have the self discipline to stay somewhat in shape, why should we care?

that guy just proved it. they're stereotyping and judging when they don't even know a person. it's just my opinion, but i think that's pretty shallow.

yeah, i'm getting healthy now because i'm lucky enough to have the money and the time, but while i was going to school full time and had THREE jobs, i'm sorry, but i just couldn't focus on my body. and don't tell me that i didn't care about myself or have self discipline when i graduated from college with a 4.0 while working 3 jobs to pay for it all. maybe i should have dropped out of school and quit one of my jobs so i could afford and have time to go to a gym or be able to buy healthy groceries.

now that i'm getting healthy, i spend a lot of money on healthy food and exercise. i can't afford nice clothes or to get my nails and hair done, does that mean i don't care about myself? or should i focus all of my time and energy to look pretty for you boys? i'd rather buy a pair of sneakers for walking than a sexy pair of shoes to impress you, or yoga pants rather than hot jeans. i guess either way, guys like that won't be happy.

sorry, i do care about myself, and i guess that's why i don't really care what the "buff guys" think of me.

I'm not talking a little extra weight, I'm talking a massive amount of weight. There is NO excuse, NONE, EVER, to be Morbidly obese. Its a lack of self control and discipline. Anyone saying otherwise is making excuses for it. I'm not an excuses kind of a guy.

For the record, I graduated with a 3.5 GPA, while working 3 jobs as well, and eating mostly like crap, but not so much that I was morbidly obese.

**EDIT** To be fair, my first post made is sound like I was ragging on girls with a little extra, I'm not. It's about people that totally let themselves go. I have people in my family like this....

tross0924

http://i54.tinypic.com/iwivbn.jpg

Check the link. I like body types 12, 13, and 11. Mostly 12.

But any bigger than that and it feels like no matter what your genetics, if you don't care about yourself enough to have the self discipline to stay somewhat in shape, why should we care?

Body size/type is only part of it too. Gotta have the personality to match it.

I think it's all a matter of personal preference too. Some guys are just ****s about telling a girl they're not interested. Personally I'm not picky. I like types 2-20, but if a number 1 or 21 came up to me I'd give her a shot. Well . . . . maybe not number 1. Every time I see a number 1 girl I'm afraid I'd break her. For some reason I can't get the image of a log being split out of my head.

ninerbuff

Most buff guys are really more into how they look and making sure that whoever's on their "arm" emulates "success" as to their machismo. See it all the time in the gym and the egos are hilarious.
But what leaves me curious is, why does it bother you that a buff guy has to like a big girl? Is it that you don't (or your friend) is as attracted to big guys?

gritgirl

What that guy did was d*ckish.

And at the same time, preference is preference. That's separate from how someone handles telling someone no.

There are many men who like bbw's, curvy, etc.

Me, I'm fairly eclectic in my tastes. I like tall and skinny, I like short and beefy, all kinds of types. It's all just preference.

Just 'cause I'm chocolate doesn't mean I want to force a vanilla lover to take me for a spin. I stick with the guys who like theirs chocolate. :-)

aj_rock

I think there's something to be said for the MFP type :P insofar that a lot of us, being or having been plus sizes, can appreciate the qualities that come with having worked hard for something.

At the same time, sure you can say it's what's inside that counts, but sooooo often does the outside influence the in! A quick look around even these forums shows that our weight is closed related to our self-esteem levels, and personally I could never find someone insecure about themselves very attractive. If you love your body, that's best!

N_BEAST_MODE_24_7

This is funny...ppl getting mad at skinny girls or jealous about who someone is with, etc etc. If you don't like how you look then fix yourself. Too many ppl on this website make excuses why the are overweight or why they can't lose weight. You can be with any guy or girl you want to, first of all you have to feel good about yourself. Too many ppl worrying about the wrong things or other ppl in life instead of focusing on your fitness goal. Confidence is the key, if you are confident about yourself you can do or get anyone you want. If ppl were in the body they desire this thread wouldn't be on here. No one is born with the perfect body, the perfect body is made by working out hard and eating right. A person that's fix will somewhat pick a person that is fix or semi fit, that's their lifestyle and they have that in common, and some ppl dont care, they like what they like. As a trainer I push ppl to have the body they want, some of them quit, and then complain about how they look. If you not willing to work hard for the body you want, don't blame other ppl or give reason why you are not at your desired weight or body frame. I know I pissed some ppl off with this comment, but the problem with this site is that ppl are not focusing on the right things, anyways good luck!

Mkleder

I mean there are some of us girls who are just a little on the healthy heavy side and can't help it genetics. I work out and I'm probably more fit than some skinny girls so why wouldn't someone like me have a chance? ( not that I'm *****in cause happily married but it happened to a very close friend and I almost said something. ) Someone help me understand cause I don't get it. :huh:

1) Life isn't fair. Everyone is entitled to like what and who they want -- even you. If you don't want to be viewed as and treated like a fat girl, you can do something about that. Either move on, or change your life. Genetics is no excuse. No victim-mentality whining, please. Live with the consequences of your life choices like the rest of us on this planet. Repeating point one, Life isn't fair.

2) Some men, particularly those who spend untold effort in maintaining physical perfection, are self-centered, shallow idiots. Unfortunately, asking a heavy girl out on a date will not change who they are. Try looking for ripped firefighters, military guys, construction guys, etc. the ones who are in shape because of their jobs, not their egos. They are a completely different animal (and worth getting to know).

3) Given that, why would you care whether or not you attract someone who has preferences antithetical to your being? Why torture yourself? If you had 3 cats you viewed as children, would it matter if a hot guy, who happens to be highly allergic to cats, doesn't ask you out? So why all the drama over your -theoretical, you said you're married- chances with a man who will dump you the moment you get a bit of water retention?

Hug your hubby and keep fighting the good fight and making healthy choices.

Thanks.

Karleyyy

People like what they like...from personal experience, I have noticed that most guys don't like heavier girls.

I am saying from my PERSONAL experience, and not all guys.

N_BEAST_MODE_24_7

I mean there are some of us girls who are just a little on the healthy heavy side and can't help it genetics. I work out and I'm probably more fit than some skinny girls so why wouldn't someone like me have a chance? ( not that I'm *****in cause happily married but it happened to a very close friend and I almost said something. ) Someone help me understand cause I don't get it. :huh:

1) Life isn't fair. Everyone is entitled to like what and who they want -- even you. If you don't want to be viewed as and treated like a fat girl, you can do something about that. Either move on, or change your life. Genetics is no excuse. No victim-mentality whining, please. Live with the consequences of your life choices like the rest of us on this planet. Repeating point one, Life isn't fair.

2) Some men, particularly those who spend untold effort in maintaining physical perfection, are self-centered, shallow idiots. Unfortunately, asking a heavy girl out on a date will not change who they are. Try looking for ripped firefighters, military guys, construction guys, etc. the ones who are in shape because of their jobs, not their egos. They are a completely different animal (and worth getting to know).

3) Given that, why would you care whether or not you attract someone who has preferences antithetical to your being? Why torture yourself? If you had 3 cats you viewed as children, would it matter if a hot guy, who happens to be highly allergic to cats, doesn't ask you out? So why all the drama over your -theoretical, you said you're married- chances with a man who will dump you the moment you get a bit of water retention?

Hug your hubby and keep fighting the good fight and making healthy choices.

Thanks.

Excellent comment!!

craft338

But any bigger than that and it feels like no matter what your genetics, if you don't care about yourself enough to have the self discipline to stay somewhat in shape, why should we care?

I'm not talking a little extra weight, I'm talking a massive amount of weight. There is NO excuse, NONE, EVER, to be Morbidly obese. Its a lack of self control and discipline. Anyone saying otherwise is making excuses for it. I'm not an excuses kind of a guy.

For the record, I graduated with a 3.5 GPA, while working 3 jobs as well, and eating mostly like crap, but not so much that I was morbidly obese.

**EDIT** To be fair, my first post made is sound like I was ragging on girls with a little extra, I'm not. It's about people that totally let themselves go. I have people in my family like this....

ur right. i had no self discipline or control and i didn't care about myself, and all of the things going on in my life were just excuses. thanks for judging me and assuming all of these things about me.

DonnaLFitz

Do you like the type of men who are at your same level of fitness? If you don't, then that answers the question.

ItsCasey

I don't understand these posts about "Why are men so shallow and superficial that they won't go out with bigger chicks?"

As a formerly very overweight chick myself, it was never a big mystery to me why I had trouble getting dates. It's really very simple: men are different than women. They must be physically attracted to a woman FIRST. Then, they will make the effort to get to know her. There's no changing that, and there's nothing wrong with it. Only when a man makes your physical appearance a condition of his "love" can you say that he is shallow and superficial.

Of course what the guy in question did (pretending to be interested in a woman and then blowing her off when she thought he was serious) is wrong and should not be condoned by anyone. But the underlying issue there is that guy being an *kitten*; it's not about your friend's appearance, and it's best not to confuse the two.

I also agree that anyone who works really hard to get in shape and stay that way has the right to be attracted to people with similar lifestyles without being accused of being vain or shallow. I find that that's not usually about appearance either; it's about loving yourself and wanting to be around people who feel the same way.

Too often, people look for behaviors or mindsets in other people that they can use as excuses for their own faults and failures. Instead of acknowledging that not looking our best has a negative impact on our dating life, we just claim all the guys we meet are jerks. Should you spend money making yourself look pretty for guys? Depends on what you're after. If you're single and looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, then yes, you absolutely should. It doesn't have to cost a fortune; I only get my hair "done" 2 or 3 times a year. I never get my nails done professionally because I can do it myself. I do spend a good bit of money on clothes and shoes, but about 2/3 of my clothing budget is for work clothes. My job requires me to dress the part, mostly because I'm way younger than everyone else on my level at work, and if I don't dress like a well-paid adult instead of a summer intern, then I won't be taken seriously. The same philosophy applies to dating; if you dress you like you don't care what guys think of you, then guys won't think of you. Like it or not, you have to make an effort ... or get used to being single.

☆ShawnsMom08☆

I met my honey at 232lbs. We dated a year and broke up. We met up 3 years later and I was 285. He still thought I was sexy. My confidence still shinned through. We got back together in Novemeber and I was 265. Since then I lost and lost 45lbs. He is 6'1" and 220 himself. Very muscular. I think a lot has to do with attitude. As heavy as I was I always dated attractive guys.

TheMaidOfAstolat

There probably are those that do. Everyone has their own tastes in what they find attractive. But if a guy is buff and works that much for his appearance, then he probably wants a girl that looks like she works hard for hers too and therefore probably has a similar and compatible lifestyle.

This is a huge part of it. For sure.

Ditto. The man I'm dating is buff and has high standards for whom he dates and I understand where he is coming from. Sad as it is....it's how the world works. We want someone who is similar to ourselves. I work out, run, eat clean (mostly), and am generally healthy (I still have a momma pooch I can't get rid of). I personally like all types of men...do I favor a certain type...sure. Men are the same...and even if a girl has curves....there are men out there that love them! She just needs to find the right one and not focus on the dingbats that can't see her for the woman she truly is.

giaciccone

Hun, I think you are being a little to general. My last 3 relationships have been a big, husky football player, a ripped, perfect bod wrestler, and skinny string bean dude. I've always been on the thicker side... Everyone has their preferences I guess

Same here! Most of the men I've dated recently have been buff.
I dated someone from October to January who was completely ripped (and sexy... oh man, I miss that). And they LOVE my curves, even though I have a little more pudginess than tone-ness. Honestly... it really comes down to having the right state of mind. BE the hot, sexy confident woman & the hot, sexy confident men will follow.

adamtwd88

i would much rather have a "bigger" girl.
if your like size 0-6/7 or something its just like so thin
i mean obv. i love fit girls etc. and girls in shape, but i have no problem with anyone bigger

if there nice and have a nice personality and good looking
why NOT! x

giaciccone

2) Some men, particularly those who spend untold effort in maintaining physical perfection, are self-centered, shallow idiots. Unfortunately, asking a heavy girl out on a date will not change who they are. Try looking for ripped firefighters, military guys, construction guys, etc. the ones who are in shape because of their jobs, not their egos. They are a completely different animal (and worth getting to know).

Honey, please don't assume these things. I have a lot of friends (NOT in the military/construction/firefighting fields) who put a lot of work into their bodies because they want to live longer & take good care of themselves & their families even when they grow older. Yeah, it's "self-centered" in a way, but it's definitely the POSITIVE side of "self-centered."

Also, just so we can get this out of the way, a lot of military men aren't in top physical condition. Trust me, I've dated a lot of Navy Sailors & Marines since I've landed in Jacksonville and only a couple been in top physical condition. Beer bellies seem to be the norm - especially during shore duty. They only try to get physically fit when they realize that their PT Tests are around the corner, and that healthy kick only lasts for about 6 weeks TOPS. Once they passed the PT test, it was ALL downhill from there, again.

It's like my mom always said... ASSUME MAKES AN *kitten* OUT OF U & ME!
This goes for everyone here! Assuming is bad.