Why don't fit semi buff guys like big girls?

LorinaLynn

Everyone has and is entitled to their own preferences and tastes.

From another perspective, why does the bigger girl in question only go for fit guys? What's wrong with the healthy guy who might be packing a few extra pounds? Or the skinny guy?

It kind of boils down to saying, "Why can't someone I find attractive on a purely physical basis have to judge ME on a purely physical basis?!" :laugh:

And it's not a guy thing or a girl thing. It's a people thing. I run a dating forum, and see people of both genders and all preferences say the same thing. They want someone they think is hot, but don't want that hot person judging them by the same standards.

ItsCasey

I don't understand these posts about "Why are men so shallow and superficial that they won't go out with bigger chicks?"

As a formerly very overweight chick myself, it was never a big mystery to me why I had trouble getting dates. It's really very simple: men are different than women. They must be physically attracted to a woman FIRST. Then, they will make the effort to get to know her. There's no changing that, and there's nothing wrong with it. Only when a man makes your physical appearance a condition of his "love" can you say that he is shallow and superficial.

---

I also agree that anyone who works really hard to get in shape and stay that way has the right to be attracted to people with similar lifestyles without being accused of being vain or shallow. I find that that's not usually about appearance either; it's about loving yourself and wanting to be around people who feel the same way.

NOW... I KNOW I'm not the only girl who MUST be physically attracted to a man first before anything else.
Everyone is assuming so much about habits of boys & girls in this thread!

Some men don't HAVE to be attracted to women physically first.
Just like SOME women like to have physical attraction first (IE Me).

Although I do agree with your 2nd point I've highlighted here... Now that I'm healthy, I want to find someone with a similar lifestyle - mostly because I don't want to be sucked back into an unhealthy lifestyle. I think many tend to do that - even if someone has an "unhealthy" lifestyle, the last thing SOME of the "stuck-in-my-own-ways" people want is someone who will make them get up off of the couch. I see this with a lot of my friends.

There are very, very few men who don't need physical attraction first. Everything is a generalization on some level, but there aren't enough exceptions to that rule to say you shouldn't assume it about men in general. It's just how they are wired. A man may meet a woman at work or school or wherever, get to know her on a professional or personal level, and become more attracted to her than he was initially. But in social situations, it's basically unheard of for a man to approach, with romantic intent, a woman he isn't physically attracted to, thinking she might have a really awesome personality to make up for her deficiencies in the looks department.

You must be meeting different men than me. I've met a lot of open men, and sure they're not ALL like that - my point is that NOT ALL MEN need physical attraction first. It's wrong to lump them all together, which is what the poster I quoted seemed to be doing.

I don't think it's wrong in that particular regard. As I said, everything is a generalization to some degree. But the idea that men need to be physically attracted to a woman before they get to know her on a romantic level is near-universal. To say not all men are like that is like saying not all men enjoy sex. I'm sure somewhere in the world is a man who can doesn't care about sex, but he's in an extreme enough minority that generalizations about everyone else are valid.

I know that a man can get to know a woman and BECOME more attracted to her; I acknowledged that. But there's basically a zero percent chance that he's getting to know her with romantic intent. He's likely getting to know her because he works closely with her or finds himself spending a lot of time with her in some other capacity. And then he starts to look at her differently. But I've never met or even heard of a straight man who wasn't drunk, desperate, or paying up on a lost bet who approached a woman he found physically unappealing, hoping he was going to get her number, get sex, get a date, etc. Men just do not think that way. They don't say to themselves "Look at that ugly chick in the corner ... I bet she's really cool. I'll go ask her out and hope she's charming enough to make up for the fact that she's a dog."

writtenINthestars

There probably are those that do. Everyone has their own tastes in what they find attractive. But if a guy is buff and works that much for his appearance, then he probably wants a girl that looks like she works hard for hers too and therefore probably has a similar and compatible lifestyle.

I have to say that I believe this to be the main reason however, it's not for everyone.

I've dated big built guys, less built guys, whatever. There have been some nice built guys that I was like "who .me?" and yup...they wanted me. I've found that being friends first is what had led me down that road in the past so pretty much the guy fell for who I was, and then enjoyed everything else that came with the relationship.

Not all "built and in shape" guys are like what you described. Trust me! On the flip side, big guys don't always finish first either with the ladies so I feel it's pretty even.

B_L_A_Z_I_A_N

They don't say to themselves "Look at that ugly chick in the corner ... I bet she's really cool. I'll go ask her out and hope she's charming enough to make up for the fact that she's a dog."

:laugh:
I don't think even most women single out the most unattractive guy in the room as their first pick to go talk to for romantic interests.

mandeiko

I'm not generalizing at all when I say this.. but I find that a lot of guys (NOT ALL) like thinner women. Every guy I've talked to says they like meat on girls, but I have yet to see heads turn with my shake and jiggle. *Sigh* Not to mention, my thin friend gets all the attention when we go out-- and it's not because she's prettier.. it's because she can wear a size 4. I'm am SUPER confident in my body. Of course I want to make a little change, but I'm just stating what I've found. Don't bash on me too much :P I'm simply sharing my thoughts... (And I'm also not saying that women don't judge men either by their size!!!)

Anyways, here's to REAL women!!

angelicdisgrace

The Queen is beautiful!

Missjulesdid

I was about 340 when I met and married my husband. He really enjoys fitness and working out.He's in great shape. He has run a marathon. He also happens to like big women. Fortunately he supports my efforts to lose weight because he wants me to be healthy...and because he reallizes I can lose a hundred pounds and still be a plus size woman ... He also assures me though that he will love even if I was skinny....

People like what they like. It's not shallow -it's attraction. There are SOME cases where people will try to attain a partner as a status symbol rather than for true attraction. That's just sad when people think of their spouse as an accessory for the sole purpose of making themselves look better.

mandeiko

I was about 340 when I met and married my husband. He really enjoys fitness and working out.He's in great shape. He has run a marathon. He also happens to like big women. Fortunately he supports my efforts to lose weight because he wants me to be healthy...and because he reallizes I can lose a hundred pounds and still be a plus size woman ... He also assures me though that he will love even if I was skinny....

People like what they like. It's not shallow -it's attraction. There are SOME cases where people will try to attain a partner as a status symbol rather than for true attraction. That's just sad when people think of their spouse as an accessory for the sole purpose of making themselves look better.

He sounds like a keeper!! You are one lucky gal!

koosdel

Any woman that can gut a hog is good enough fer me. Well, as long as she does it all lady like.

yaddayaddayadda

My theory is they have a small penis. seriously they are trying to compensated by working out and the small the girl the bigger their junk seem. This also works with guys that have expensive sports cars.

LOL... Do they drive big pickup trucks too? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Scott613

http://i54.tinypic.com/iwivbn.jpg

Check the link. I like body types 12, 13, and 11. Mostly 12.

But any bigger than that and it feels like no matter what your genetics, if you don't care about yourself enough to have the self discipline to stay somewhat in shape, why should we care?

Body size/type is only part of it too. Gotta have the personality to match it.

aww dang is that what average looks like 0_o ughhhhhhhhhhhh i guess i gotta get back to working out!

I'm only speaking for this semi buff guy but,
I like types 3-18 and a lot of it does have to do with how you carry yourself.

mandeiko

I'm only speaking for this semi buff guy but,
I like types 3-18 and a lot of it does have to do with how you carry yourself.

This makes me happy.

writtenINthestars

I'm only speaking for this semi buff guy but,
I like types 3-18 and a lot of it does have to do with how you carry yourself.

This makes me happy.

haha...I thought the same thing !!

pacmanjack

Topic: Why don't amazing, semi-supermodel girls like 47-year-old average guys who are losing their hair and just got glasses for the first time?


:ohwell:

Scott613

Topic: Why don't amazing, semi-supermodel girls like 47-year-old average guys who are losing their hair and just got glasses for the first time?


:ohwell:

Shave your head and get contacts. Then explain how you're "experienced" and know what women like. You're old enough to know what you want and aren't playing games like the young cats out there..........or something along that line.

HollieDoodles

Topic: Why don't amazing, semi-supermodel girls like 47-year-old average guys who are losing their hair and just got glasses for the first time?
:ohwell:

You know you're not average, Jack LOL.... goofy ball

piezoeyjune

Topic: Why don't amazing, semi-supermodel girls like 47-year-old average guys who are losing their hair and just got glasses for the first time?


:ohwell:

Those girls are only 19. Isnt that jailbait or something? They cant even count to 40.

HollieDoodles

LOL!!!!!!

angelicdisgrace

I'm only speaking for this semi buff guy but,
I like types 3-18 and a lot of it does have to do with how you carry yourself.

This makes me happy.

Totally agreed!

angelicdisgrace

Topic: Why don't amazing, semi-supermodel girls like 47-year-old average guys who are losing their hair and just got glasses for the first time?


:ohwell:

Bc those models are still chasing their tails or Someones American express!

TheTeeWhy

This topic is shallow as hell. Jesus

Why dont hot sexy looking lean girls like fat guys? Same damn reason.

Edit: I dont mean for this to be sour grapes but seriously... it is so clear as day why semi lean,buff guys would enjoy a like minded person with the same eating and exercise habits =/ They worked hard to get the body they want, why would they 'settle' if it wasnt what they wanted? This whole post makes me look like a gigantic *kitten* but seriously folks...come on lets not reinvent the wheel, attraction isnt there for some guys, simple.

bry_all01

There are very, very few men who don't need physical attraction first. Everything is a generalization on some level, but there aren't enough exceptions to that rule to say you shouldn't assume it about men in general. It's just how they are wired. A man may meet a woman at work or school or wherever, get to know her on a professional or personal level, and become more attracted to her than he was initially. But in social situations, it's basically unheard of for a man to approach, with romantic intent, a woman he isn't physically attracted to, thinking she might have a really awesome personality to make up for her deficiencies in the looks department.

I have seen a number of your posts and I feel now compelled to ask you this....

How the hell did you get your hands on the secret male operating systems manual and can you please return it to the nearest man at your earliest available opportunity? We don't need our secrets being divulged willy nilly on an internet forum.

Thank you.

funniest/best response EVER!!! LMFAO!

ItsCasey

This topic is shallow as hell. Jesus

Why dont hot sexy looking lean girls like fat guys? Same damn reason.

Edit: I dont mean for this to be sour grapes but seriously... it is so clear as day why semi lean,buff guys would enjoy a like minded person with the same eating and exercise habits =/ They worked hard to get the body they want, why would they 'settle' if it wasnt what they wanted? This whole post makes me look like a gigantic *kitten* but seriously folks...come on lets not reinvent the wheel, attraction isnt there for some guys, simple.

I agree with you. I get tired of the posts about why men are allegedly shallow for simply liking what they like. I think someone else on this thread said it best: it's not shallow ... it's attraction. You can't explain it or change it or do anything about it.

The only thing that gets to me is when men who are certainly not examples of physical perfection start acting like they can afford to be critical of women. I was in line behind a short, fat, bald, middle-aged man at the airport the other day, and he and his buddy were commenting on whether or not they'd "do" random women in the airport. The short, fat guy had an overly inflated opinion of his game for sure.

pacmanjack

Topic: Why don't amazing, semi-supermodel girls like 47-year-old average guys who are losing their hair and just got glasses for the first time?


:ohwell:

Bc those models are still chasing their tails or Someones American express!

:laugh: well-said