Not so nice...

ElizabethObviously

I know people tend to treat thinner people better. I am wondering if you have ever had something terrible or hurtful happen to you because of your weight.

And if you have lost alot of weight already, have you had anything happen that makes you realize how badly you were treated before losing weight?

For me, I was out walking back from my daughter's bus stop and some teenage guys drove by and one screamed out the window "That's a fat b!tch." I tried to not cry but it hurts. Especially when you try to go out walking around the neighborhood to lose weight and people drive by and you can hear them talking about you as they drive by.

lbgano

I am so sorry that happened to you. The world is FULL of jerks and morons and they tend to say whatever they want (becaues, well, they are jerks and morons). Luckily the world is full of awesome people too, like you!!

ziathediva

I am so sorry. That was so rude and uncalled for.

veggiepug

I'm so sorry that happened to you! People can be so cruel.

I lost 35 pounds a little over a year ago (I've since gained it all back....). I was within 15 lbs of my goal weight and felt and looked great! I definitely noticed a difference in how people, mostly men, treated me. More people made eye contact with me, smiled, held doors open, etc. At first I thought it was simply because I was skinnier, but I really think it was all about my confidence and how I carried myself. I was feeling good about myself for the first time in a long time, so I held my head higher, probably smiled more and probably just gave off a more outgoing vibe than when I was overweight. I think strangers pick up on that kind of positive attitude and so they treated me a little better. I can't wait to get back there again!

FattyWantADoughnut

I am so sorry you had to deal with that. It hurts my heart that people can be so ****ing mean.

I have noticed that I am treated way differently now that I am fat. If people don't regard me with thinly veiled repulsion then they completely ignore me. Honestly though, i do everything I can to be invisible anyway... it's better then seeing disgust in people's faces when they look at me.

cnldance

Im so sorry; some people just feel better putting others down. but yes i have been picked on. a lot actually. by my dad, my step mom, and my little sister. it hurts but you do what you gotta do for YOURSELF and tune everyone else out. in the end, no one else is doing it for you, so eff them! right?! keep your head up and care nothing of what people think! you should be proud of yourself for doing what you're doing, going out and trying to lose weight. don't let anyone or anything discourage you! just some words cuz i know how bad it hurts, especially when you're trying to better yourself.

AudgePaudge

I'm sorry that happened to you!! I've been over weight my whole life, and have been bullied, teased, and sometimes beat up for it...I finally decided to do something about my weight, and I've never felt better! I'm not even halfway to where I need to be, but the most noticeable difference I have seen in myself is my self confidence! I've never been the weight I am now in my adult life. I feel like I carry myself differently, and I'm more outgoing. Please don't let those little jerks discourage you in your journey! They must have a really crappy life if they have the need to pick on other people. I feel sorry for those kind of people...

dumb_blonde

What a terrible thing to have happened to you... some people have no conscience.
You are a far more beautiful person than they will ever be! Stay strong xox

teachermegan

Don't worry hun. Karma's a b1tch! Use it as motivation if you need to use it all.

jenlikesfood

I am so sorry that immature jerks made you feel bad about yourself. But teenagers are so immature and are at that stage in life where looks matter. I promise you when they are older, they will remember saying that to you and feel bad. If they have a soul, they will...lol. But to answer your question....I have definitely noticed being treated differently since gaining a lot of weight. I've been normal weight most of my life, but after two children, I put on a lot of extra pounds and people do treat me differently. Mean people suck!

Rilke

It does hurt. If I was there, I'd give you a hug. -cyber hug-

I had a few different men (one of whom I was very unfortunately dating) make comments about my body when I was big. It sticks with you. . . . But then I got to run into one of them again just recently and damn it felt good!

Thriceshy

Oh, I've had enough that it's left me antsy and uncomfortable in public situations. "Sociophobic" is a term my friends use to describe me. I had two teenage boys follow me through a garden center, snorting and grunting like pigs. I've had girls (late teens, maybe early twenties) walk past, then burst into laughter just beyond me, once with a girl saying, quite loudly, "If I ever get that fat, SHOOT ME." It's been so bad and so wrenching that I've been known to skip an aisle in the store if there are skinny girls or younger men there. I once totally lost it--two younger (maybe early to mid twenties) men started on me as I was shopping, with one of them saying, "There's one for ya, Mike, ain't she fine? Mooooooo! There's enough of her we could ALL have a push!" This guy had a pot gut, prominant breasts, stained wife-beater, and was balding. His friend Mike, who was laughing uproariously, had rotting teeth and endless acne. And I came unglued. How dare they? If you're an ADONIS and you start in on me for my looks, then you're JUST an *kitten* jerk who needs a heart. But if you've got your own flaws going on, you're not just a jerk, you're also the worst kind of hypocrite. I let loose, actually followed these guys through the store, shouting at them, sobbing. They wound up fleeing the store, leaving their cart at the checkstand. Had I not had a cart full of groceries, I would have followed them to their car--I was that upset, that angry and hurt. I had people, mostly heavy like me, come over and hug me, tell me I "done good." Had one man in a motorized cart come over, take my hand, and thank me.

It was wrenching, and I don't think I'll ever get over it. I've BEEN thin. I could post pictures of me where I was so lithe and pretty it would make your head spin. And I NEVER went after someone for their weight. EVER. I don't even understand why someone would do that. I try to imagine approaching a perfect stranger who's done NOTHING to me and devastating them like that just for jollies. I almost cry in the contemplation, it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Kris

dad106

I'm sorry that happened to you.. people don't realize that what they think of as funny, can really hurt another person. Believe me I know.. I have a speech disorder and you should see some of the looks people give me, or the questions I have been asked.

Back to your original question, after losing close to 25 pounds, I know that people treat me differently. While I never looked heavy(I hid it under clothes pretty well), I still felt heavy, and that dragged my confidence down. Now that I've slimmed down, I feel more confident, and more willing to get to know people. Since I'm more outgoing people treat me as such... instead of treating me like heavier shy girl I was.

ElizabethObviously

Oh wow that is terrible.

My sister was at the store one time buying protein powder and a couple in the same aisle started laughing at her, asking her if she had enough. She started crying and left the store.

I just don't understand why people feel the need to belittle others because of their size. Do they not realize that heavy people can HEAR....that heavy people can SEE....we can see those looks of disgust, that look on your face like you smelled something nasty or ate something gross. We can see you eye balling our shopping carts. We know what you are thinking when you see things YOU think we don't need. Do people think just because we are heavy set we also stupid? That we do not notice that you smile and talk to the thinner customers more? That you, as a waiter or waitress, tend to fill up drinks and help thinner customers more? Or when we go to the gym, TRYING to better ourselves, we see you staring at us as if we are an alien on another planet.

zumbachelle

I have had moments where I will be out walking and guys will call out "keep walking Fat Bi*ch* I always feel self conscious eating in public but...I have something no one can take away from me...my family. My little boy is 7 and gives me big hugs and tells me he loves me fat cos I am soft and warm.
My 11 year old daughter constantly repeats back to me my own words of wisdom, that it is what's on the inside that counts, her and her friends always telling me they love me for me.
My husband met me when I was big and even though I had lost weight and have now put it back on and then some, he loves me for me.
When those stupid ignorant people say what they do, try to hold your head up high and tghink of the people who really know YOU.

cherubcrnp

I am sorry that you had to endure that...people can be jerks and so rude.

Pam

crazymama2two

*hugs*

Newmammaluv

I've never been thin a day in my life and I've been tested like crap my while life for being fat too but all of that I can handle... What I couldn't handle was the attention I got when I dropped down to 190lbs. I'm very curvy and fairly tall so I was in a medium top and 14 jeans and every creep, including one of the *kitten* holes that used to make my life hell tried to hit on me. I absolutely hated it. I rather people be honest and a jerk than have ulterior motives and be horrible fake people. I was a babysitter at the time and had both of the dads trying to sleep with me even. Just repulsive human behavior. I MUCH rather be fat forever than have to deal with that again but this isn't about me and it isn't about looks... Its about being healthy and a good role model for my daughter and the little one on the way. I just hate people in general I guess... Unless they are awesome mfpers lol

i_love_vinegar

I think people will be jerks independent of size. Ive never been considered overweight by most people, but have been made fun of by strangers for the most random things. <.< I had a guy almost hit me with his car, and then laugh (police was there and caught him though yay), some balding guy tell me, "Bad hair day, huh?" I've even had strangers presume stuff about my personality without even speaking to me. o_O Oh, here is another one: I was ate Ace hardware with my ex (boyfriend at the time) because he had to pick something up and I wanted to go with him to buy a candy bar. I just threw on a mini skirt (that I had worn for probably 3 years without problem) and a tshirt/pair of sneakers.

Standing in line this lady took it upon herself to scream "hey lady! hey lady!" until I realized she meant me. I turned, and this lady around 6'0" something tall told me to put some clothes on. She was like, "That skirts too short. Everythings hanging out. Nobody wants to see that girl!" I was like, "o_o..." I was speechless since I know the skirt wasn't THAT short, plus she was probably 1.5 feet taller than me (so how could she look up my skirt?)

Here is the killer: my boyfriend at the time looked and obv couldn't see anything standing (he was short too!) so he literally got on the floor and said, "Yeah. That's too short. You look like a hooker." and the lady agreed (She was in her 40's or 50's, and I was 18 or 19). I was so shocked I walked off and one of the girls who worked there ran after me and was like, "omg I'm so sorry that happened." I burst into tears...

I think the best thing to do is to do what makes you happy, and if someone feels the need to go out of their way to make you feel bad...ignore them. I say this because there will always be jerks.

mandeiko

Reading that makes me tear up.. People are so cruel, it's hard to believe it sometimes. Growing up, I was teased and called beluga whale. It still bothers me. I honestly think people are nicer to thin individuals. Idk why that is, but it makes me sad. I'm sorry that happened to you. They are obviously scum of the earth while you are an amazing human being So, smile just knowing you outshine them!

pumpkinmoccasin

I've had people bark at me out of their window while I was pumping gas, it really hurts when people who don't even know you judge you because you're not what they find attractive. Total bs.

ElizabethObviously

Oh I just remembered another happening...

I was at the park and had just got done walking 1/2 mile with my husband and daughter. ( which might not seem like a lot but to me it is really good) It was about 90 outside so yeah I was sweaty and tired. I sat down, hubby and daughter went to play. I was sitting about 200 feet from the road. It is a very spread out park...ANYWAY, I am sitting there, my back turned towards the road, looking on my IPod while I catch my breathe...and once again...young guys drove by in a truck and screamed "Where's the beef?" out the window....

I try to ignore it and just pretend I am deaf...but seriously....grow up....it gets old.

allybtucker

I've always been tall and thin, average looking, and people generally are really nice to me, chat in stores etc. I have a couple of friends who are, and always have been very overweight, and when I shop with them, I can't believe how different they are treated than I am. They have a hard time getting clerks to help them. The clerks try to keep the interactions as short as possible. It's really annoying, because my friend's personalities are no different than mine, it's all about the way they look. My friends don't even realize they're being treated poorly, or differently, because that's what they're used to. Maybe they do realize. I hope not.

Next time you see someone in public who is not what is considered "steroetypically physically attractive", whether it's because of weight, scars, disease, whatever, make an effort to aknowledge them and be friendly if the situation calls for it. Maybe it will help make up for all the jerks that avoid them.

wbane01

I guess I look at this from the "other" perspective... I've never been overweight. At one point, I even had six-pack abs, which is rarely heard of in women. I'm 5'4 & about 138lbs now. The biggest I've ever been was 172, the day my son was born. At my smallest, I was about 105. I am what many of my male friends call all "t!ts & *kitten*". The fact that I have always been thin hasn't changed the number of people who have treated me terribly... The men are pigs & the women are just straight up hateful. Rarely can a man ever have a conversation with me & actually look at my face... They seem to believe my eyes are located on my chest. I've been smacked, groped & cat-called at in public for as long as I can remember. A couple years ago, I left a construction worker speechless, humiliated & in tears in front of his buddies in the middle of a restaurant after he made some particularly obscene remarks. I've been called a b!tch & a slut by women I don't know, not only because of the attention I receive from men, but because they think that a person cannot possibly be both attractive AND nice. The worst incident came from an older woman who actually SPIT on me while I was walking down the street, after I had just ignored a truck full of men who yelled out the window at me. I really don't think it much matters who you are, what you look like or how much you weigh... People are *kitten* in general & they will always find a reason to criticize and treat you badly.

rice161

It still happens to me now after losing 50 lbs! I am currently 232 lbs and just walking last week when a group of teenage boys drove by, stuck their heads out, and oinked at me as they drove me. It's actually the most common thing I've had done. 7 years ago I worked really hard and with Weight Watchers, lost 140 lbs. I weighed about 165-170 and was in a gym working out even, and had the exact same thing happen! A group of young, um, jerks got on the ellipticals behind me and oinked for several minutes. The gym staff just watched and said nothing. I walked out crying and never went back. It was the start of gaining it back (other bigger issues though).

Those things will continue to happen since society seems to think it's OK. I will say that as I lost weight then and again now (after gaining 100/ 140 back with a broken heart that I didn't handle well), I had a confidence that did have most people treating me differently. I'll never be the girl that guys chase after or approach but at least they mostly stopped ignoring me once I was below 200 lbs, haha!

Good luck on your journey! Don't let them get you down... we can lose weight and they'll still be stupid!

Edithrenee

ys en i was a teenager I was trying to walk across the street, and i had to hurry but didnt want to run cuz someone would laugh at me but i did a little jog and someone in a car hollered "hey little biggy biggy get out of the road" And another time i was waring high heels, I was in the hall at school i took my shoes off a minute and some girl bigger then me i thought ask me "oh the big broke the heelo of her shoes she is so heavy ha ha ah is wha ti heard. It was hard that is just a little bit of the mean things i have heard.

calibri

My dad and sister are obese and had been since I was very young. It was very hard to deal with other people talking about them; although it was nice to make them uncomfortable by saying it was a relative of mine. I don't know how my sister puts up with stuff like that; she's way stronger than I.

MichelleB69

I have never been "obese" but I have weighed 30lbs more than I do now. At my heaviest (172 at 5'5"), no one was outright rude to me, but I noticed that I seemed to have disappeared. Clerks began ignoring me, others began to discount my opinions...it was almost as if I was invisible. I HATED that feeling.

Like a previous poster, I don't know if it was because of the extra weight or because of my lack of self-confidence at that point or a combo of both, but it was really disturbing to me.

I'm sorry you've had to encounter such thoughtless people...those remarks can really stick with a person and replay over and over in your head. I can still feel the sting of a remark that some stupid punk-*kitten* loser kid made to me in junior high

lalonmeg000

People are just simply rude. I was out with some friends, we were going dancing and to karaoke night. It was a narrow walk way, so I was the last to fallow. As we walk by a few guys said "hey ladies, how is it going" and then I walked passed and I got..."oh wow, not you! You're ugly"

Awesome way to start the night lol, it hurt at the time but honestly why do I care? They don't know me, nor would I want them even if they had wanted me. I think the moral to all of the post is that being able to shake it off and be confident and cure all of those hurt words.

I know I have weight to lose, and I know it was be a struggle most days...but I also know that I am smart and that I AM BEAUTIFUL, just like each of you on here, and honestly that is what keeps me going.

Happy monday everyone!

Cosmic_Unicorn

Goodness, my heart goes out to everyone here who has shared an awful story. People are so cruel.

I was bullied nonstop through school for being overweight, and it really affected my self esteem. For years I was terrified to go out in public by myself because I couldn't stand what I thought people were thinking about me. I was very friendly, funny, and charismatic around people I knew, but I just lost it around new people because I assumed they were thinking what all the bullies were saying. I really, truly hated myself and I don't know if I'll ever recover from it. The worst part is that I was never even obese or even that overweight. I had a BMI in the highest range of normal, but still. After high school I gained a lot more weight and then realized how mean people were to me for just being chubby. Heck, I'm that weight now and I look pretty good.

But now, after loosing nearly 50 pounds and moving to a new city where no one knew me as an obese person, I can confirm that people treat me differently. Cashiers and salespeople are more courteous and helpful, I don't get interrupted in conversations, and people actually listen to my ideas and opinions. Plus a steady amount of looks and flirting from guys, and occasionally girls. When I was heavier I was aware that strangers didn't treat me as well, but I wasn't sure if I was imagining it from my low self esteem or not. I think, especially after this thread, that I was not.

Keep your chin up, OP and everyone else here. You are all doing really well to take care of yourself and no jerks deserve to even talk to you to make you feel bad.

Annie5859

That makes me so angry! Some people are incredibly mean and heartless. You do not deserve that! I'm sure you've heard what I am about to type, and however hard it is to live by, you need to. It's not what people say to you that is upsetting you, it's how you react. Make the decision to not to let it bother you. You have to know that you are a wonderful, loving kind compassionate person and they are scum. Their words mean nothing! Remember that.