Not so nice...
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People who say those sort of things just delight in torturing others. And for men especially, commenting negatively on a woman's weight seems to be their nastiness of choice. When I was 30 pounds thinner -- well within a healthy weight-- a boy at my college called me a "fat ***** who needed to walk" because he tried to cut me off for a parking space and I didn't let him. To this day, it still bothers me and it's because as women we put a lot of stock in self-image. The WORLD puts a lot of emphasis on beauty and thinness.
You've got to remember those guys are *kitten* and karma is a *****: one day when their football days are behind them that beer is going to start catching up, their metabolism will slow and they will be wondering what happened.
I laugh to think in high school, boys like that made me feel ugly and fat. I was 5'10, 130 pounds and wore a SIZE 3 for crying out loud and guys like that still made me feel horrible. What I've learned now at 183 pounds is it's about knowing my own worth and listening to people who value it. It's being around people like my husband who calls me beautiful and sexy just for being the way I am.
Lose weight because it's about improving how YOU feel about YOURSELF. In this world there will always be jerks like that unfortunately.0 -
i've never been overweight, but i put on weight when i was pregnant and because i started eating healthy and exercising i lost 10kg and got healthier than before i was pregnant. and everyone critises me saying i am anorexic and i lost too much weight too quick. it makes me upset that they cant support me and my healthy lifestyle but theres nothing i can do except keep going the way i am and they will see that its good and it makes me happy!
it can go both ways. but being critisised about your body hurts no matter what.
keep it up!0 -
People are, excuse my language, ****ing *kitten*.
To all the people that have posted their stories on here: I'm really sorry that happened to you. It's extremely unfair.
In school once, when I was at the height of my self-consciousness, a guy called me fat. A year later, I mentioned it to him, when he asked why I was trying to lose weight. Turned out, he was just joking. People just don't get that it's not funny.0 -
You are all beautiful.0
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These posts brought tears....
Yes, I was picked on since elementary. In middle school, this one girl, dared by her friend, pushed me into an art display and both laughed there head off. I guess it was funny to push the fat kid. High school was the worst....those girls there crushed what was left of my self-confidence. Every time I passed by they would say fat*** and I would literally run to my parents car to go home. I starved myself, hoping that some weight would drop off or lie about being sick to skip school. My self-esteem is getting better now because at first I was scared to go out in public. Every time there was a skinny girl in sight I would walk away far from her as possible. I know every girl is not like that but it just brought back memories. In the beginning, I wanted to lose weight so people can treat me better but that is not right for me. Being skinnier doesn't guarantee acceptance, so I changed my goal to be healthy and fit for me only.
Excuse me for the mistakes in my post, right now I'm mad because of what happened to me in the past...0 -
I'm so sorry for everything that's happened to anyone who's posted here
I know one of my biggest motivations to stay healthy stems from when I was a little kid. From about kindergarten through 6th grade, I was always one of the bigger girls. (I think part of it was from an unhealthy lifestyle, but a lot of it was frankly just being an awkward kid.) Anyway, you know how people say kids can be cruel? Throughout elementary school, people I didn't even know would call me pregnant, or tell me how fat I was or how much my stomach was showing. It really hurt, and I remember crying alone in my room because I was too embarrassed to tell my parents. That's just something you don't forget, you know? Suddenly, puberty hit and I grew up instead of out, but I never forgot how I was treated. Later in life, a rude ex-boyfriend said rather hurtful things about my body, but looking back I know I was completely healthy and he was just mad that I was way too good for him
And I know this goes both ways too- my aunt is a runner, and she's extremely thin. She's very healthy, but I know she's become self-conscious due to snide remarks people give her about how skinny she is. Frankly, she's the healthiest woman I know, and it's awful to see someone who does everything right for her body get rude feedback.
Basically, from all of this, I've learned to never comment negatively on someone's physical appearance. No matter how mad I've ever gotten at anyone, I have never thrown out insults about being fat or too skinny. It can really hurt, and people do remember. I hope that karma comes around and gives whoever insulted any of you what he or she deserves.0 -
What gets me is I see all your pictures and you are all beautiful!
I think people will always fall back on making fun of a person's appearance or weight when that person is uncomfortable or jealous of a person.
I think when a person grows up around rudeness, be it their family or friends, then they will also be rude.
I remember once at a soccer game this little boy, about 4 runs up to me and says "Wow that's a big belly" I wanted to thump him but it made me kinda sad to imagine how the parents talked about people in front of this little kid.
And something to make you smile....my nephew is 6. His parents, him and his siblings went out to eat at a buffet restaurant. My sister said her son kept staring at this older heavy black woman. It was a Sunday and she was decked out complete with a feathery hat. And my nephew kept staring and everything. He finally got up as they were leaving and said Mom I have to tell this lady something. My sister was scared he would be rude. Instead he told this lady she was so beautiful and looked like an angel. My sister said that lady was all smiles!
So not all people or kids are rude.0 -
The thing is that it doesn't matter whether you are skinny or fat people will always find something to make fun of you for. In school my friend was always big and the guys always made fun of her and I would stick up for her and tell them to f off. But they would also always make fun of me too even though I was small, they would call me Sasquatch and such, really don't know why cause this was before we hit puberty and I am not hairy.......
The thing is people like to find things about others that aren't "right" so they can feel better about themselves. I always found that in school the best and easiest thing to do was pretend you didn't give a s*** and they would leave you alone. As an adult I have found telling them to f off is much more satisfactory!!!!!!:drinker: :laugh:
You are all BEAUTIFUL and always remember that!!!!!:flowerforyou:0 -
So sorry to everyone who'se been treated cruelly due to their weight. Some kids always seem to be looking for someone they can pick on. When I was a young teenager, my girlfriend (we were both skinny and not in the 'in' group) would get yelled at "sexless xxx", we were both late to develop, she was tall and thin and at the gawky stage. It was really hurtful for a young girl to have her 'sexuality' ridiculed. Later , she matured into a gorgeous woman that all the men were after and she did professional modelling. Anyway, it became her nickname all through highschool. She doesn't have good memories of highschool and ended up leaving our town and moving across the country right after graduation. There's a lot of ignorant people out there.0
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At some point in my life I personally started finding this sort of stuff amusing. I mean, I know I'm fat, its not a secret, its something I'm generally aware of, and the very idea that people had to announce it kinda struck me as incredibly stupid... how stupid do you have to be that you find it necessary to announce the obvious to yourself or your friends.
For good or ill they're idiots who are telling you something, its either A. True, something you're aware and either active choose that or are working on it/can't do anything about it, or B. Absolutely false and who the hell cares what some random tosser thinks.
But I'm a weird bird and had to deal with a lot of similar stuff in high school, except in high school it was primarily focused on my choice of clothing or hobbies.
The few times I've had someone call me a fatty or whatever pointless insult they can think of I usually rebuke it with, "Why thank you Captain Obvious, are you going to tell me next the sky is blue and the sun is hot?"0 -
I am sorry. Just remember that you are the one doing something good for your body.
I have been working out at the gym 5 days a week, since springtime. Well, I have lost weight, which is good. But, a few weeks ago, one of my friends told me that she was really lucky that she did not have to work out as much as I do.0 -
I am so sorry that rude idiots have hurt feelings, caused pain and generally lessened all of us with their ignorance.
At my SKINNIEST, having lost weight to join the Army, I went shopping in a very chic boutique. I asked the girl if they had a particular outfit in my size, they had clothes ranging from teeny tiny to 13-14. (I was a 10). She looked me straight in the face and said "We don't serve people with breeders hips." I asked for her manager, and was informed she wouldn't be back for hours and since that would be past my "feeding time" I'd better run along. I waited very patiently, not speaking to the nasty little heifer (who became more agitated as time went by), just sitting in the very comfy chairs by the fitting room reading the magazines. When her manager came back 2 hours later, I told her what a rude employee they had. The young woman was called to the office, told her final paycheck would be mailed and was removed by the security guard for the mall.
Rudeness is a blight on our society and will continue to be for the foreseeable future if we allow it to continue when we have recourse.
With Friendship and Warmth from Missouri,
Sonia0 -
rankailie, I like your attitude.
I've always been fairly thin, but I had my share of teasing in junior high for having hand-me-down clothes, no hair style, etc. I think I was an easy target because I was so shy. So, while I wasn't teased for my weight, I know how it feels to be ridiculed.
I remember a comment that stuck with me. I was in high school, and this was in the 80's when we wore big, baggy shirts. I was wearing an oversized shirt of my mom's one day. When I was walking home from school, a couple of boys rode by on their bikes and one of them shouted, "Why don't you skip a few meals?" I was shocked. I weighed about 115 at the time, but I guess the shirt made me appear bigger. While I shrugged it off, I still never forgot it. A friend of mine received a comment like, "Getting a little chubby, huh?" which threw her into anorexia. So sad how these types of hurtful comments affect people!
Mine & my husband's best friends are a couple who are both overweight. They are the funniest people we know, and are such a cute couple. I can't imagine anybody making comments like that to them, they are such sweet people. I'm so sorry for all of you who have had to deal with this crap. Just remember that YOU are the better person!!0 -
Now that I have lost 50+ pounds overall I notice people being way nicer, and I think, "Where were you when I was 275 with a my face shoved in a bag of Oreos?" It makes you realize who really matters and the people are nicer now can generally just screw off in my opinion.0
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I am so sorry that this happened to you. You're not alone...and weight or lack of doesn't seem to matter. I am tiny and fairly fit and I still have rude comments hurled in my direction. I honestly think it's the younger generation (typically anyone between the age of 9-21) that make these comments. Either they have not been taught that words/actions hurt or they have become immune to it. There are so many media outlets that say 'it's okay to make fun of others if they are not like you'.
I am 'goth' and I've always faded into the background...I now realise that I dressed that way so that when people would attack me it was more like they were attacking my clothing and style rather than me personally. I still am shy and that's okay...but I have found my voice and I stick up for myself now. It's taken me a long time to become comfortable with myself.
As a child I was always picked on...my clothes were hand me downs or from Walmart, I was in speech therapy due to a sub-mucus cleft palate and a paralized vocal cord, in addition to that I have a scar the entire way down my sternum due to having open heart surgery at six months old. I endured years of torment because of these 'problems'. I know now that they are not 'problems'...they were/are just hurdles that I needed to overcome. I have become stronger and I try to not allow people to damage my self worth.
I highly recommend listening to Beautiful by Christina Agulera, F*cking Perfect by Pink, and Who Says by Selena Gomez. Great songs!0 -
I believe I have missed out on jobs because of my size. I've been a medical scientist for years n years and thought I'd try out medical sales - which I've done for a few years now (although applied to go back to the lab). And I have always believed that they also 'look' at you, it's not enough to be bloody good at your job or be highly educated and qualified - you need to be a it hot too. You need to be a bit of eye candy I think. This had better not be the case when I go for the lab job interview though, but I will hold my tummy right in!!I know people tend to treat thinner people better. I am wondering if you have ever had something terrible or hurtful happen to you because of your weight.
And if you have lost alot of weight already, have you had anything happen that makes you realize how badly you were treated before losing weight?
For me, I was out walking back from my daughter's bus stop and some teenage guys drove by and one screamed out the window "That's a fat b!tch." I tried to not cry but it hurts. Especially when you try to go out walking around the neighborhood to lose weight and people drive by and you can hear them talking about you as they drive by.0 -
Oh sonybalony, I love that you got that girl fired! It is like Pretty Woman's revenge!
I guess I am starting to realize that ALL people, regardless of size and weight have had someone act like a @ss to them. But what gets me...these mean hateful people...I can almost guarantee they go home and have a crappy home life, have someone belittling them. You know they say *kitten* rolls downhill. So their pain becomes our pain.0 -
When I was still over 200lbs. I got moo'd at and called a "fat sl*t". lol. I cried both times, but got right back up the next morning and kept at it. It wasn't funny when it happend, but it is now looking back on it because they were idiots and knew absolutely nothing about me. Both by teenage boys. I was out running with my son in the baby jogging stroller.0
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I'm so sorry that happened to you! Not long ago, I went to the Bahamas on vacation. I was quite proud of myself because I had lost about 25 lbs before I left so my confidence was at a high point for this trip. I ended up meeting a few people and one night we all went to a bar that had a DJ. The DJ started pulling women out of the crowd to play a game in front of everyone. To my horror (I'm pretty shy, whether I'm feeling confidant or not haha), he grabbed me and pulled me on stage. After it was time for me to go back to my group, the DJ asked me to play another game, on the mic, still in front of everyone. He said the game was called "Is It Real". Then he turned my back to the crowd and slapped my butt and said "Yeah, those big ones always are!" Everyone laughed and so did I (kinda) but I wanted to run out of there and cry! My confidance was shot after that, but when I got home it just pushed me to keep trying.0
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I don't think these people are stupid or ignorant, I think they are just mean, but this is not an uncommon behavior and it is expressed in a lot of social situations. Personally, I think it is like the behavior in a pack of wolves where one poor miserable animal, the Omega, is picked on by the rest of the pack. The Omega serves an important function in the pack as a release for aggressive behaviors. Without the Omega, many conflicts would arise between other members in the pack. Obviously, people are not wolves, but I think the behavior of jerks to be somewhat analogous. Who gets picked on? People who are different which includes obese people.
That said, I do not view this behavior as excusable even if it serves a social purpose from a group dynamics context. People are not animals and we are morally responsible for our actions. This is what separates us from animals. What might be excusable behavior for a wolf, is morally reprehensible for a man.
Now the hard part. However mean another person is, each individual is also responsible for their own emotions. This is not alway easy, but those who allow others to make them feel terrible about themselves have a bigger problem then being overweight. Why give so much power to some jerk?
My little brother has a rather obese wife, Francis, who, despite her size, is just always happy, often outrageous, and a true joy to be around. I love Francis, as a sister, and my brother is a lucky man. This last year they have taken up kayaking and I can't help but think of Francis squeezing her ample rump into one of those tiny little boats and padding, with wild abandon, down a mountain river. It makes me grin and laugh, not out of meanness, but because I am happy for her and her ability to suck the marrow out of life even if she is fat. I find Francis inspiring and when people are mean or cruel to me I just think about her in that boat and grin stupidly. Life is to short to grant power to jerks.
Love life, be happy, forgive, and move on without bitterness or anger in the heart.0 -
I am sorry. Just remember that you are the one doing something good for your body.
I have been working out at the gym 5 days a week, since springtime. Well, I have lost weight, which is good. But, a few weeks ago, one of my friends told me that she was really lucky that she did not have to work out as much as I do.
The part about your friend makes me giggle. Luck has nothing to do with it.. and when all that not working out catches up to her, she'll be wishing that she was like you.0 -
I'm so glad that I'm generally oblivious to what is going on around me, ha ha. I had one woman say how big I was at the gym one time, but I don't know that she said it intending to hurt me. It was more like a kid making an observation and not knowing that you are supposed to filter those thoughts. There was a time my sister (who is very overweight also) and I were giving her male coworker a ride home. He basically told her that he knew she liked him, and that she was a disgusting, fat pig who had no chance. I can't remember his exact words, but he was lucky I didn't punch him in the back of the head. She forgave him in a week or two, but it took me about 7 years and him promising not to treat anyone like that ever again!0
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I’m so heartbroken to read some of these stories, the things some people say and do are just sickening... Keep strong and remember for every jerk out there making a comment there are others like those on MFP who have your back!
As for my own experiences, back in high school I was teased by a boy in my biology class daily. He would make pig noises at me, make fun of my features and constantly go on about how I was so fat I should stand so the chairs wouldn’t break. At the time I was 125 at 5’1’’, not the slimmest but only chubby at worst. Even now I can’t pass 120 without feeling the same sense of humiliation. Funny enough, over summer I joined the tennis team, lost 20 pounds and came back to school 105, when he asked me out. As you can imagine, I turned him down.0 -
I'm so sorry, there's no reason for peole to treat each other that way, it's terrible.0
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This is wonderful. I enjoyed reading it. Go Francis! I know someone like this too and every time I think of her, I smile.I don't think these people are stupid or ignorant, I think they are just mean, but this is not an uncommon behavior and it is expressed in a lot of social situations. Personally, I think it is like the behavior in a pack of wolves where one poor miserable animal, the Omega, is picked on by the rest of the pack. The Omega serves an important function in the pack as a release for aggressive behaviors. Without the Omega, many conflicts would arise between other members in the pack. Obviously, people are not wolves, but I think the behavior of jerks to be somewhat analogous. Who gets picked on? People who are different which includes obese people.
That said, I do not view this behavior as excusable even if it serves a social purpose from a group dynamics context. People are not animals and we are morally responsible for our actions. This is what separates us from animals. What might be excusable behavior for a wolf, is morally reprehensible for a man.
Now the hard part. However mean another person is, each individual is also responsible for their own emotions. This is not alway easy, but those who allow others to make them feel terrible about themselves have a bigger problem then being overweight. Why give so much power to some jerk?
My little brother has a rather obese wife, Francis, who, despite her size, is just always happy, often outrageous, and a true joy to be around. I love Francis, as a sister, and my brother is a lucky man. This last year they have taken up kayaking and I can't help but think of Francis squeezing her ample rump into one of those tiny little boats and padding, with wild abandon, down a mountain river. It makes me grin and laugh, not out of meanness, but because I am happy for her and her ability to suck the marrow out of life even if she is fat. I find Francis inspiring and when people are mean or cruel to me I just think about her in that boat and grin stupidly. Life is to short to grant power to jerks.
Love life, be happy, forgive, and move on without bitterness or anger in the heart.0 -
Standing in line this lady took it upon herself to scream "hey lady! hey lady!" until I realized she meant me. I turned, and this lady around 6'0" something tall told me to put some clothes on. She was like, "That skirts too short. Everythings hanging out. Nobody wants to see that girl!" I was like, "o_o..." I was speechless since I know the skirt wasn't THAT short, plus she was probably 1.5 feet taller than me (so how could she look up my skirt?)
I hope you realize that lady sounds like she has a mental disorder and you didn't spend too much time feeling bad about her outburst.
I'm a health professional and I had a patient tell me, "You need to lose weight" in a very rude tone. I had just informed her that I would not accept her as a patient and that was her response, LOL. I feel very secure in my life and am blessed with a beautiful and supportive family so those comments don't "touch" me the way they used to. For an instant, I feel like that rejected kid/teen but it only lasts a second until I realize the person who made the insult was a stupid tool and I have a more fortunate life than him/her.0 -
I know people tend to treat thinner people better. I am wondering if you have ever had something terrible or hurtful happen to you because of your weight.
And if you have lost alot of weight already, have you had anything happen that makes you realize how badly you were treated before losing weight?
For me, I was out walking back from my daughter's bus stop and some teenage guys drove by and one screamed out the window "That's a fat b!tch." I tried to not cry but it hurts. Especially when you try to go out walking around the neighborhood to lose weight and people drive by and you can hear them talking about you as they drive by.
YUCK that's horrifying! I kind of know what you're going through, but that's never happened to me. I do only run at night in my neighborhood for fear of things like that. I'm sorry people are such jerks.0 -
Oh and I'll share another doozy. I was a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding. My cousin was a bride-zilla and always thought ahem..."highly" of her looks. Her wedding photographer kept trying to hide me behind the other 'maids. It was so obvious and I have no doubt my own cousin (who won't eat chick peas because they're fattening btw, LOL) told him to hide me. Did I care? Not really. That experience just reinforced everything I already felt about said cousin..she is shallow, rude and stupid.
And a group of teens sang "I like big butts...." to me back when that song was popular. That one actually made me LOL and I waved to them. I still like that song.
Somehow you have to realize it's not about you. This poor treatment affects you and it can stink for sure but it's a reflection of the insulter...they weren't raised with good manners, they have a mental disorder, a problem with drugs or alcohol, pathetic followers (sheeple) etc. Do you really think they guys who walk around with "No Fat Chicks" T-shirts are smart, kind and have good manners?0 -
Or when we go to the gym, TRYING to better ourselves, we see you staring at us as if we are an alien on another planet.
i agree. just because im 200+lbs, in a gym with tons of skinny, muscle type people doesnt mean i dont belong there. im just trying to get back to where i need to be in life. :grumble: geeze owe people0 -
when i was "obese" barley but in that category of the bmi i had 2 people ask if i was pregnant one of them was mentally handicapped and when i said i wasn't kept pressing me about it, which i know they didnt understand but i was with my friends and both times i was buying food went home and cried plus i know that alot of people weren't friends with me they weren't mean but they just weren't friends with me anymore now that i've lost the majority of my weight alot of people want to be my friends def. a connection (i have not changed at all i've always been a talkative friendly speak my mind kind of person who also smiles like 24/7 because when i was alittle kid my mom would get mad if i didnt smile lmfao "happy in your heart katie" so yea people treat you dif. when your thin0
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