Why did you get married?
Now that I'm recently engaged and wedding plans are being made, (engagement rings, wedding bands, wedding dress...so many chores nearly drive me crazy!)
I find myself wondering why we, as a society/culture/humans, still follow this tradition. I know more and more people are deciding not to get married these days and I was wondering if it's just a "tradition" that we follow. Some say that there are great monetary benefits like insurance decreases, etc. but others say that in the end you're actually penalized for being married.
Why did you decide you had to get married, as opposed to simply being with the person you love without the piece of paper. Was it to please your/her family? Were you simply following the tradition and going through the motions of taking "the next step"? Was it a spontaneous decision with a tranny in Vegas? What about marride life?Tell me your story.
I find myself wondering why we, as a society/culture/humans, still follow this tradition. I know more and more people are deciding not to get married these days and I was wondering if it's just a "tradition" that we follow. Some say that there are great monetary benefits like insurance decreases, etc. but others say that in the end you're actually penalized for being married.
Why did you decide you had to get married, as opposed to simply being with the person you love without the piece of paper. Was it to please your/her family? Were you simply following the tradition and going through the motions of taking "the next step"? Was it a spontaneous decision with a tranny in Vegas? What about marride life?Tell me your story.
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Replies
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why not?0
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tax break LOL.
j/k
I'm on board with, if I had to do it again, I probably wouldn't have..not as young anyway.0 -
Because I found an amazing man! So after 11 months of dating we went to Vegas and got married. Had 20 guests.
I am glad I didnt spend alot of money on the wedding.0 -
I'm not but am in a long-term relationship and we live together and this topic often comes up especially in Australia where people that live together for more than 2 years have defacto status and with that all the rights of a married couple should they split..
I still think it's nice. I have no rush to get married but I'd like to be married before I have kids.. I like the idea of having the same name and of commiting yourselves to each other to be there for each other and forming your own new family unit. I guess it might be the old fashioned Catholic in me but still ...0 -
Because I found an amazing man! So after 11 months of dating we went to Vegas and got married. Had 20 guests.
I am glad I didnt spend alot of money on the wedding.
11 months?! wow! I suppose my mum & dad were 12.. 6 dating 6 engaged..0 -
I must admit it wouldn't have mattered much to me one way or the other, but my husband proposed and I said yes. Having said that we planned a weekend away and got married while we were there.0
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Honestly at the time it helped us get more money for college, but neither one of us would change it. It just felt right. As for married life, I love it. I would do it all over again! We recently celebrated our 4 year anniversary. I love him and he is my best friend.0
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My partner and I got married just after our tenth anniversary of living together. It was the only way to celebrate our relationship and ongoing commitment to each other with all our friends and family at once. Friends and family flew in from across the continent and from overseas, we had a fantastic party, and had the chance to make some vows that put into words our commitment to each other.
My sister married her partner after living with him for nearly 15 years - in her case, she thought it was a nice thing to do before having children.
As the person above says, it makes very little legal difference in Australia.0 -
To me being married is being more committed to one another. You are promising to be together forever. I know in our society to many forever means until I change my mind, LOL, but to me it does mean forever , I am getting ready to celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary in august and if I had it to do over again the only thing i would change is getting married sooner. We dated for 5 yrs before getting married living together 2 1/2 of those yrs..........0
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Always wanted to get married, but havnt. I do have a ring on my finger though. Been together for 4 years, engaged for little over 1 and no wedding plans yet. Yeah i am getting old.0
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me and my hubby met n nov. I hooked him up with my friend i was not intrested n him, me and and my hubby started dating n june, engaded n sept and married the next nov. we knew each other one year. i was 23 and he was 25. i thought i luved him then but relize i luv him more now 10 years later than i even understood then. he knows me better hen anyone n this world! i have way more respect for him and trust him with my life! why did we get married cuz we were young and n lust!!!! yes i said lust!!!! i thought it was luv but it was just plain lust lol! i now know the differance lol0
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For us, signing on to a 30-year mortgage together was the real proof of long-term commitment. The marriage came a few years afterwards!0
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Same thing that minburke said about Australia applies here in Canada: common law is legally the same as married in almost every single respect (maybe in every respect, actually...not 100% clear on this). My husband and I were living common law for nearly 3 years when we got officially married. We did it because:
1) we wanted to make it "official" in front of family and friends -- we wanted to the world to view us as a team (even though we already knew we were one)
2) it seemed like the next natural step
3) we love each other and it felt romantic to pledge to be united for life
4) we wanted to have a huge party with all our family and friends
...among other reasons. Those were the main ones.
Honestly, not much has changed for us. Our attitudes with one another and with our lives are exactly the same. Family members keep saying things like, "the first year of marriage is tough"...um...okay...never mind that we were legally common law for 3 years beforehand!
The only real change has been in the way that our families and friends view and treat us. There's no doubt in anyone's mind that we are committed for life. That has been especially noticeable in the old-fashioned folks. Also, my grandmother no longer freaks out that we're "living in sin." So, our #1 reason for getting married has indeed paid off: our family and friends now consider us "official."
EDIT: oh, and another perk was that everyone important to us got to contribute. A friend was the DJ, my mom did the flowers, my husband and I built the decorations, a friend did the cupcakes and another friend did the makeup/hair. We made our playlist ourselves and did all the invites, menus, signage, party favours. My mother-in-law did the wine menu and had a blast picking out wines. My father did a tribute video. My father-in-law was the MC, and we had many friends doing toasts and speeches and such. It was a beautiful collaboration of many people close to us, and very personalized. It meant so much for us to have everyone share in on our day with laughs, love, good food and dancing...I feel like people got to know us a little better, and we all got to make some great memories together. 0 -
I'm surprised nobodies mentioned a shiny ring yet :bigsmile:0
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Because I was a fool!
Actually reflecting on it. I was just madly crazy in love with her. I wanted to share my life with some one special. Unfortunately I never felt that was returned and in the end it wasn't. I was told by my friends not to marry her. They knew she had some problems. I didn't see them I was blind. Her whole family was a basket case. Just sad.
Turns out they were right. She had issues I never would wish on anyone. She's doped out most of the time these days. I pray for her.
I wish you happiness.0 -
What I can tell you... Love is worth the struggle. It's worth the anguish and the pain. Love it worth all the ups and all the downs.
I fell in love with a girl. Our plan was to grow old together (while keeping each other young). Apparently, that wasn't everyone's plan because earlier this summer I lost her. After a week in the hospital I'm still here. I've been told I survived, but I don't feel alive anymore.
My biggest hope for everyone who reads this: LOVE like you may never get to show your love again. Make it a passion. Make the person you love into your best friend. Don't try to control them. Don't toss them to the wolves. Don't ever give them a single moment to doubt how much you care. Stand up for them and support them in all of their choices... both good and bad.
Love is worth it.0 -
1.) We wanted the tax break.
2.) I needed insurance and his job only provided it for spouses, not "partners"
3.) We wanted to be legally able to make decisions for one another if it became medically necessary.
That being said, I do love him madly and don't regret marriage at all - 5 years in and we're still quite happy together. We also eloped - went to the courthouse with a set of rings that were about $50 each. We mostly wanted the legal recognition of the state.0 -
What I can tell you... Love is worth the struggle. It's worth the anguish and the pain. Love it worth all the ups and all the downs.
I fell in love with a girl. Our plan was to grow old together (while keeping each other young). Apparently, that wasn't everyone's plan because earlier this summer I lost her. After a week in the hospital I'm still here. I've been told I survived, but I don't feel alive anymore.
My biggest hope for everyone who reads this: LOVE like you may never get to show your love again. Make it a passion. Make the person you love into your best friend. Don't try to control them. Don't toss them to the wolves. Don't ever give them a single moment to doubt how much you care. Stand up for them and support them in all of their choices... both good and bad.
Love is worth it.
My heart aches reading this. I cannot imagine what you've had to endure. There are no words for how much what you've said here has touched me; I am taking every word you wrote here to heart, and will live it every day. May you find healing and strength.0 -
What I can tell you... Love is worth the struggle. It's worth the anguish and the pain. Love it worth all the ups and all the downs.
I fell in love with a girl. Our plan was to grow old together (while keeping each other young). Apparently, that wasn't everyone's plan because earlier this summer I lost her. After a week in the hospital I'm still here. I've been told I survived, but I don't feel alive anymore.
My biggest hope for everyone who reads this: LOVE like you may never get to show your love again. Make it a passion. Make the person you love into your best friend. Don't try to control them. Don't toss them to the wolves. Don't ever give them a single moment to doubt how much you care. Stand up for them and support them in all of their choices... both good and bad.
Love is worth it.0 -
wow nothing more 2 say 2 that just wow!!!!!!!!0
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What I can tell you... Love is worth the struggle. It's worth the anguish and the pain. Love it worth all the ups and all the downs.
I fell in love with a girl. Our plan was to grow old together (while keeping each other young). Apparently, that wasn't everyone's plan because earlier this summer I lost her. After a week in the hospital I'm still here. I've been told I survived, but I don't feel alive anymore.
My biggest hope for everyone who reads this: LOVE like you may never get to show your love again. Make it a passion. Make the person you love into your best friend. Don't try to control them. Don't toss them to the wolves. Don't ever give them a single moment to doubt how much you care. Stand up for them and support them in all of their choices... both good and bad.
Love is worth it.
I'm so sorry. Thank you for writing this though. I love my partner more than anything but it is easy in day-to-day life to take loved ones for granted.. This just makes it even more apparent that we truly have to appreciate every moment we have with people.0 -
Well. I got married in 1996 after the birth of my first child - I was 20 years old. We were married for 13 yrs but were quite unhappy for a lot of those years. We just weren't very compatible and honestly? We wouldn't have been together if not for our daughter. Had another daughter in 1998. We separated in 2009. Divorced recently.
Will I marry again? I don't know. I'm not sure I want to marry again - though there ARE benefits to being married. For right now, I am okay with simply living together for awhile.0 -
well, my wife is super smoking hot and I knew I couldn't do any better, I definately "married up" 0
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Insanity runs in my family....0
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I'd love for my boyfriend to ask me to marry him, we have been together for 2 years, is that too soon?
I would never ask him though as I think, maybe traditionally, it should be the man who asks.
Maybe it's because I feel like women are so open with their feelings all the time where as men tend to keep their emotions in check all the time. If my boyfriend were to ask me I would probably cry with happiness!
I know he wants to be with me forever and he has mentioned about me taking his name but he is the type of person that wants to wait a hell of a long time before "committing" to something like that even though we have signed for a 25 year mortgage after about 6 months of dating.
I'd wanna marry him because I would want to make it official, as others have said, that we are a team.
I want to have his last name to show everyone I am his and he is mine!
I would preferably (maybe it's tradition again) to be married before we have kids. I don't know why exactly, i just know I'd prefer it that way.
I just can't wait for the day that he asks me, I don't mind if we sit on the engagement for a few years. I just want to hear it coming from him officially that he wants me to be with him forever. *cheese*0 -
how old are you phoenix? My wife and i dated 6 years while in College and beginning our Careers, then we got married, been amrried 15 years, so together 21 years.
it really depends where you are in life and common goals, also what you both want.
Does he know you wish to get married, because sometimes you know us guys are pretty dense.
leaving pictures of engagement rings around is usually helpful, especially one that you like, my wife took me to a store and pointed it out...lol....(that there is a ring I would like).....hey I got the clue! 0 -
Because I found an amazing man! So after 11 months of dating we went to Vegas and got married. Had 20 guests.
I am glad I didnt spend alot of money on the wedding.
20 guests? it seems too little.
How do you feel the life after marriage?0 -
ha ha! I like your wife's subtly
I'm 24 and yeah we have talked about marriage to each other a few times so he knows how I feel about it and i knows how he feels.
I'm not in a good physical state at the moment, I'm waiting for an operation on my hip so can't really enjoy life as much as usual until that's done. i think I have a better chance of him asking me when I'm up and about again, full fit and healthy so that we can enjoy being engaged! At the moment we are going through a lot enough as it is.
If I'm fit and healthy and he DOESN'T ask me within a year though I will start dropping wedding brochures out of my bag and leaving pictures of engagement rings everywhere. ha ha!! 0 -
My husband and I were dating for 3.5 years when he unceremoniously dumped me. We started hanging out as friends a few months later after he had made the decision to join the military. He went off, I started university and he contacted me again. I told him I was going to do a long-distance dating thing. So, we went ahead and got married a few months later. We've been married over 7.5 years now. So, it works, I guess?
We didn't have a wedding, though. We just did it at the county courthouse and then headed off for sushi. No family or friends in attendance or fancy dresses or anything. He had just moved after completing his training so we didn't know anyone. I am glad I didn't have the stress of a wedding on top of all the other major changes, tbh.0 -
how old are you phoenix? My wife and i dated 6 years while in College and beginning our Careers, then we got married, been amrried 15 years, so together 21 years.
it really depends where you are in life and common goals, also what you both want.
Does he know you wish to get married, because sometimes you know us guys are pretty dense.
leaving pictures of engagement rings around is usually helpful, especially one that you like, my wife took me to a store and pointed it out...lol....(that there is a ring I would like).....hey I got the clue!
amazing! I think your life must be quite happy with your wife. You have a long and deep love, 21 years, wonderful.0
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