I will tell you when I need your opinion...

iAMaPhoenix

Why have an open diary if you don't want advice or opinion?

My choice to keep it open. I welcome advice and opinion if it is constructive. This person was telling me I am totally wrong in the way I am going about things and how he would correct it. This guy do not know me from Adam so how can he offer me advice on healthy living. And once again, show me where in the contract you signed to join MFP that says an open diary is an invitation for "advice or opinion".

Kityngirl

Annnnd this is why mine is locked. If I want advice, I'll ask for it and open my diary. Otherwise, I'll just keep losing weight the way I've been successfully doing it so far. :laugh:

SamiSamiBoBlammy

See this is the crap that bothers me.....This is why I always end up closing mine! I don't mind a critique but when people start to get a bit nasty in their criticism....it annoys the holy hell out of me!!

Thats why mines private too.

99% of the time, the person knows that the *insert food here* wasn't the best choice before they ate it - and if not, they definitely knew AFTER they logged it. We beat ourselves up enough for our bad choices - no need for someone else to take a swing at us too.

Panda_Jack

Ya know what!? If I wanted any of yer lip I'd shake my zipper!

ZoeLifts

Totally agree!! And, even with the rant and follow up comments from everyone supporting you, people will still not read it all and think they are right, no matter what!!

About the diaries, I agree, being open doesn't mean "please, oh please, someone come and judge me!!". I keep mine open, though I will close it if people ever message me and get harsh. But my reasoning is this, I like to see what is working for other people. If I see someone, like yourself, that has lost 50 pounds, or someone that is promoting a certain way of eating that might be similar to mine, I like to look at their diary to see what they are eating and to see if it would help me in choosing foods, or how they are spacing out their carbs vs protein all day, etc etc. It is like another tool on the site. You see someone be successful and want to see how they are doing it to help your own plan. I do not look at other people's diaries and presume to criticize! So therefore, if I am able to look at others diaries, I would feel guilty for having mine closed, you know what I mean? So that's the only reason I keep mine open, so I don't feel guilty for looking at others and not allowing mine to be seen

bcattoes

You are correct, it's hard to argue with succes. Congrats on yours, btw. I'm not sure I'd believe someone was an athletic trainer just because they said so anyway since it's a public internet board.

kenlad64

You tell 'um ...your success speaks for itself! ....and way to use that energy that person provided in a positive way (to work out). You my friend are a pinnacle of support to your MFP family (I am proud to be a member). I am glad you vented and got past it! Keep up the good fight!

Whatnow50

Great post, such control you displayed! Good for you. Love- I gotta do me!
Some people just don't understand proper boundaries!

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I don't think that leaving your diary open gives anyone the right to necessarily crap all over it. If I ask for advice because something has gone awry I expect someone to say "Well, honey, maybe if you didn't have that ice cream and wine you'd be fine." But if I'm rocking on with my own plan and not having issues keep it to yourself. This is the respect that I pay others and the one that I expect in return. I like when people are using the program successfully and share their diaries, it gives me a place to go and look for meal plans. When I get bored with what I'm eating I want to see what everyone else has going on. It burns my buns when a bad apple ruins the bunch.

catwrangler

If any REAL trainers want to rip my diet and exercise apart, please do! I'm new enough to want unsolictied advice cuz I really don't know it all.:bigsmile:

TheBraveryLover

Good point OP. Although I've never experience negative comments on my diary, I've seen others in the forums having their eating habits and diary attacked when the OP posted a question not related to food at all. Really rubbed me the wrong way. It's why I only let my friends view my diary and why I'm picky with who I allow to friend me. Even one of my friends was being ridiculed about her diary from her friends.

I don't see these things regularly, but enough to make me wary with who I add.

GenerationD05

I always find it really fascinating that people are more aggressive online than they might possibly be in real life.

First off: bravo on keeping your cool and doing something good with that energy. There's no point to lower yourself to shoot that person back a comment. I mean, what was the point of what they said to you? The point of this website is to encourage people to lose weight, to be motivators for each other and to applaud when someone does well. And even when they don't do well, to tell them that it's perfectly ok to mess up as long as you get back on the track. To sit and critique a food/exercise diary because it might not be up to someone else's standards is just ridiculous. You've lost 50 pounds and that is AMAZING. You should be proud of that! And if someone doesn't like how you've lost it, who cares? Everyone is different and everyone will lose it differently. Who are we to judge someone else because it differs from the way we're doing it?

Keep doing what you're doing. It's apparently working so why change it (except change it when it stops working haha).

Khadines

And BTW Mr. Trainer, why did you not have any pics of your current successes? SMH at some people.
[/quote]






Lol

TheBraveryLover

You have your diary open. That mean it's open for critique.

I wouldn't assume that a person who has their diary open means they wanted it critiqued. It could simply mean that they don't mind others getting ideas from them. Unless they explicitly start a status or post saying "critique my public diary" I don't think anyone should feel the need to do so.

MissTomGettingThin

This is the exact reason mine is private. Someone was *****ing about my sodium!!!

Don't understand what this means. :O(

healthyliving_girl

Wow. Really? I'm so glad I have my diary private. That's insane. Apparently, that person has WAY too much time on his hands!

Crooks0204

:laugh:

:bigsmile:
Ya know what!? If I wanted any of yer lip I'd shake my zipper!

:bigsmile: :laugh:

Corrie62

I like open diarys..then if I happen across someone who I am inspired by I can look at their diary and see what kind of foods have helped them along the way...gives me a few ideas of other options for me. I would never critique unless asked...

Mine is open BTW.

janetj518

If leave my door unlocked, doesn't mean that my neighbor gets to barge in. And there is a difference between criticizing and offering advice. I hold myself accountable by entering my own information and being honest; I don't need someone else holding me accountable. What I need is support, encouragement and if I ask for advice, then I just might need some advice, not critical blah, blah, blah.

sharonsjones

If leave my door unlocked, doesn't mean that my neighbor gets to barge in. And there is a difference between criticizing and offering advice. I hold myself accountable by entering my own information and being honest; I don't need someone else holding me accountable. What I need is support, encouragement and if I ask for advice, then I just might need some advice, not critical blah, blah, blah.

I completly agree with you! I beat myself up enough when I am weak!

bbbbb33333

Admit it.... you are on the twinky diet and someone called you on it.

cathynicolette

a few things.
1) glad you restrained yourself.. good job
2) you know you are making progress, what you are doing is working for you
ok, two things, not a few.
But as a parent, I have had to deal with unwanted advice and you just have to learn to let it roll off your back, if not you will either wind up in jail for hurting someone or wind up with an ulcer or heart attack. Keep up the good work.

purnurple

exacto!

purnurple

Admit it.... you are on the twinky diet and someone called you on it.

well atleast is wokring unlike somebodys... haha jk idk how your weight loose is going but reallly. it is working for her.

runslikeagirl

This is the exact reason mine is private. Someone was *****ing about my sodium!!!

Don't understand what this means. :O(

I guess I got censored! Someone was reeming me a new one about my sodium!!!

maidentl

I am really rather gobsmacked at all of the people who think an open diary is an invitation to everyone to come nitpick you. Really?

bridt

Well done you on your 50lbs and in 5 months is amazing. You are obviously doing what's right for you. Hope I can say the same in a few months. Keep up the good work :0)

dls06

I just had the same thing happen to me. I thought they were talking about someone else and sent it to me by mistake. NOPE!
I think when people are new they are excited and think they know everything. What they need to know is if I want you opinion I'll ask for it. Really, look at my dairy and tell me I am not eating enough??????????????? If I eat anymore I'll have to stay up all night.
Oh and when I asked to see her CLOSED DIARY...................... Silence,all I hear is the sound of crickets.. haven't heard from her since.

MissTomGettingThin

This is the exact reason mine is private. Someone was *****ing about my sodium!!!

Don't understand what this means. :O(

I guess I got censored! Someone was reeming me a new one about my sodium!!!

Sorry - I read it as a type missing a 'with' the sodium. :blushing:

I'm dim. :O)

dad106

I once posted on here that I was going to the taste of chicago(hello pig out fest) and had a friend comment that she went to a similar event and this is what she did and that I needed to watch myself and blah blah blah. I politely told her that while that may have worked for it, I plan on enjoying myself.

Good for you OP on keeping your cool.. People sometimes need to learn when to butt out!