Guys...what kind of flirting do you like?

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  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
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    I think there is a WHOLE LOT of gray area being being "easy" and being "hard to get".

    To me, flirting is game playing. Is there a time and a place for it? DEFINITELY. But if you're talking about getting back into the dating game, then just be yourself. If you like the guy and are enjoying the time with him, then laugh and smile, make real conversation (not just small talk), make eye contact with him, touch his arm or put your hand on his back (when natural/appropriate).

    If you're in a social setting, it's easy to make small talk and laugh. As a fairly shy person, I wouldn't assume you were interested based on small talk and some smiles. If we make a lot of eye contact, have good/meaningful conversation, or *gasp* there is a little physical contact then I'm MUCH more likely to see/feel a connection, which is going to lead to another date.
  • Scorpiomom222
    Scorpiomom222 Posts: 1,462 Member
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    How about just respecting yourself as a woman and throw him an eye stare now and again. Not "*kitten* me" eyes, but let him know you're looking. Don't rub your *kitten*, crotch, or boobs on him or flash him. Don't bend over so he can see all your curves. If you want him to have any level of respect for you, a simple conversation or look should get him to approach you.
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
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    Why do us guys always have to do all the dirty work???

    Because we are guys and risk taking is part of our nature?

    When I was single I never expected a woman to make the play. I didn't mind if she did but I considered it my job. I approach, I initiate, I do the work, she decides. What was the reward for all this risk taking and work? Pretty much never being without female attention or a date unless I wanted it for many years.

    Is it unfair? Sure. It that the way it is? Pretty much.

    and hope he's not totally clueless.

    That's me, totally clueless.

    The other day I was at the grocery and was waiting in line with my wife. Then she forgot something an ran quick to grab it. Meanwhile a woman in front of me started to talk to me. She seemed nice so I talked back, being nice. Then my wife gets back but the woman keeps talking and may not have known we were together, I guess. Next thing I know my wife is bert staring the hell out of me.

    Eventually, the woman stopped talking to me and I asked my wife "WHAT?" and she's like, "you didn't notice the hair flip, the way she giggled while you talked and the smiles she was giving you?" and I said, "Ummmm......nope.... are you saying she was hitting on me? I just thought she was nice but a little overly talkative for a stranger". :blushing:

    Then again, my wife nearly had to stradle me in the parking lot of one our dates before I started to think she really like me when were dating.
  • BrownEyedG1rl
    BrownEyedG1rl Posts: 625 Member
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    Awesome, thank you all for your advice!!!!! I'm taking notes!
  • TheTeeWhy
    TheTeeWhy Posts: 186
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    Yeah to me you gotta make it obvious, none of this "well maybe theyre being friendly" type deals. Guys arent sherlock and we normally dont have a watson with us when we try to pick up so...

    Im with some of the other guys here, totally clueless.
  • BrownEyedG1rl
    BrownEyedG1rl Posts: 625 Member
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    Is it that you're clueless or that you just kinda brush it off as, "surely she can't be into ME" so you think it's nothing?
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
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    Is it that you're clueless or that you just kinda brush it off as, "surely she can't be into ME" so you think it's nothing?

    Sometimes one, sometimes the other and sometimes both.

    If we think you're really hot, most average guys will think "you can't possibly want anything to do with me", also sometimes it's kind of hard to tell when a woman is simply being polite and when they are interested in you. Us guys are a little more obvious when we are interested in a woman. :laugh:
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
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    For me, it's more like what mcrow said a few posts above... never even occurs to me that someone is being flirty.
  • BrownEyedG1rl
    BrownEyedG1rl Posts: 625 Member
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    For me, it's more like what mcrow said a few posts above... never even occurs to me that someone is being flirty.

    See, I don't get that. If it's a girl that you think is attractive and would like to get to know, you wouldn't notice at all if she is flirting with you? I could understand that if the girl isn't your type and she is attempting to flirt with you, you wouldn't notice because you aren't paying that much attention to her.

    I think I'm over analyzing, LOL!
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
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    For me, it's more like what mcrow said a few posts above... never even occurs to me that someone is being flirty.

    See, I don't get that. If it's a girl that you think is attractive and would like to get to know, you wouldn't notice at all if she is flirting with you? I could understand that if the girl isn't your type and she is attempting to flirt with you, you wouldn't notice because you aren't paying that much attention to her.

    I think I'm over analyzing, LOL!

    Well, the thing is that unlike women, we're not used to being the prey! So, when a woman does it, and as subtle as they tend to do it, we just totally miss it sometimes.
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
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    The other day I was at the grocery and was waiting in line with my wife. Then she forgot something an ran quick to grab it. Meanwhile a woman in front of me started to talk to me. She seemed nice so I talked back, being nice. Then my wife gets back but the woman keeps talking and may not have known we were together, I guess. Next thing I know my wife is bert staring the hell out of me.

    Eventually, the woman stopped talking to me and I asked my wife "WHAT?" and she's like, "you didn't notice the hair flip, the way she giggled while you talked and the smiles she was giving you?" and I said, "Ummmm......nope.... are you saying she was hitting on me? I just thought she was nice but a little overly talkative for a stranger". :blushing:

    Then again, my wife nearly had to stradle me in the parking lot of one our dates before I started to think she really like me when were dating.

    Sorry. I thought that was your sister.
  • PlumCrazyGirl
    PlumCrazyGirl Posts: 1,463 Member
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    I am in the same boat -- starting over -- haven't dated in a long while.

    So, yes, I could certainly use the advice on how much "flirt" is too much.

    And yes, I will say at times I am clueless on the receiving end as well.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
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    See, I don't get that. If it's a girl that you think is attractive and would like to get to know, you wouldn't notice at all if she is flirting with you? I could understand that if the girl isn't your type and she is attempting to flirt with you, you wouldn't notice because you aren't paying that much attention to her.

    I think I'm over analyzing, LOL!

    I think it depends a lot on the setting. If I'm at a bar and a woman starts talking to me completely out of the blue, then yea, I might pick up on that. But that's never happened to me, so... If we're both fighting for drinks at a crowded bar and she makes a comment about how hard it is to get a drink, then no... I'd probably pass that off as small talk. If a woman in line at wegmans starts talking to me, I'm going think she's just being friendly.

    I think it also depends on the "feel" of the conversation. If it's killing time (waiting or a drink, waiting in line, etc) then I'm less likely to think anything of it. It's just not my mentality to think someone is interested/flirting.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
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    The more obvious the better for people like me who are super dense :laugh: Actually even if it's super obvious, I'm still convinced the person wasn't flirting. "It's unpossible!" I tell myself. Low self esteem left over from the olden days.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    The more obvious the better for people like me who are super dense :laugh: Actually even if it's super obvious, I'm still convinced the person wasn't flirting. "It's unpossible!" I tell myself. Low self esteem left over from the olden days.

    My husband was this way. He was so "super dense" that I thought he might be gay. Sometimes you actually have to take their hand or give them a bite of your dinner from your fork. That would let him know.

    With any other guy I've known all it took was eye contact. Weird.
  • outersoul
    outersoul Posts: 711
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    Things to remember. We're men. We're simple. Our attention span is short and is immediately lost when something shiny enters our vision. Things come from your mouth and they morph into something else as they reach our ears. That's why I like it in plain English.

    'Hey, we should hang out sometime. Here's my number. Call me.'

    It simple. It's concise. The threat of something shiny entering our vision is lessened.
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
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    Depends on what you're looking for. Coming out of a relationship, i.e. in the process of a divorce, usually means you're not looking to get into another one..at least it's not recommended.

    Just be confident in any form of communication.

    If you're really shy and/or getting the hang of things again, something along the lines of "I don't have a gag reflex" is a pretty subtle way to get a hint across. Haha.
  • PlumCrazyGirl
    PlumCrazyGirl Posts: 1,463 Member
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    The more obvious the better for people like me who are super dense :laugh: Actually even if it's super obvious, I'm still convinced the person wasn't flirting. "It's unpossible!" I tell myself. Low self esteem left over from the olden days.

    This is me as well. So the lack of confidence is seen in both sexes.

    So, I will be obvious right now - anyone from the Philadelphia/South Jersey Area looking to meet? :smile:
    Just message me!

    Hey, from what I'm reading we just can't figure out what the other person is really interested in - is the other person being polite or really interested.
  • Panda_Jack
    Panda_Jack Posts: 829 Member
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    I'm pretty much clueless. You gotta hit me on the head or throw something at me... and make it obvious.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I've found the forward approach to letting them know you're interested is enjoyed the most. My current relationship began with "Dude. You're hot. Let's go bang." one year later....

    :drinker:

    Note: We waited until the third date:laugh:

    WHY do you put me in these situations where I'm forced to keep my mouth shut?? :tongue:

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