Where'd all the support go?

cmonskinnylovee

Two years ago when I made my first account on MFP, it was a wonderful place. Everyone was so nice, so supportive, and so open to the ideas and helpful hints of others.

Now it's all catty, and jealous, and just straight up MEAN. I seriously have had more mean and rude comments made to me, than nice and supportive ones.

Does anyone else feel that the people of MFP have changed over the past two years?

chevy88grl

I've had my share of rudeness from people on here. But, I figure it is the same as real life, ya know? Some people are nice and some people are not. I do think that sometimes people use a computer screen to hide behind - it makes them feel high and mighty.

I've gotten a lot of support from this site and I have some super awesome friends on here. But, I've also had people accuse me of lying about my weight, tell me there's NO WAY I can maintain my weight and eat as much as I do, I've even been accused of photoshopping my photos.

So. Yeah. You get ALL kinds.

Run4UrHealth

I have seen on here to just state your opinion not attack those who are not doing the same as you. Everybody is different and what works for one may not work for all. They think they are right just as much as you think you are. I rely mostly on the riends I have on MFP than the forums.

cmonskinnylovee

I've had my share of rudeness from people on here. But, I figure it is the same as real life, ya know? Some people are nice and some people are not. I do think that sometimes people use a computer screen to hide behind - it makes them feel high and mighty.

I've gotten a lot of support from this site and I have some super awesome friends on here. But, I've also had people accuse me of lying about my weight, tell me there's NO WAY I can maintain my weight and eat as much as I do, I've even been accused of photoshopping my photos.

So. Yeah. You get ALL kinds.

As soon as people find out how much I weigh, they are always super rude to me. Almost instantly. Just because I am not fat or overweight or chubby or whatever they think that they are somehow better than me. Not everyone, just the meanies

IAmTheAwesomest

not on this account but on many others i've been here for about a year and i see a total difference and i don't like it

alienblonde1

I have just been here since Jan of this year and all my friends are nice and supportive. Though I do see some posts on here that aren't nice.

I have seen posts on here that are mean/ catty too but I think for the most part people here are supportive.

You are going to find people like that no matter where you go in life sad to say.

bjohs

Two years ago when I made my first account on MFP, it was a wonderful place. Everyone was so nice, so supportive, and so open to the ideas and helpful hints of others.

Now it's all catty, and jealous, and just straight up MEAN. I seriously have had more mean and rude comments made to me, than nice and supportive ones.

Does anyone else feel that the people of MFP have changed over the past two years?

That's why I stay out of the forums during TOM. I tend to get a little snarky sometimes... but mainly at people who think they know everything. My suggestion is to surround yourself with supportive friends and delete the ones who are not helpful. The forums, on the other hand, if you ask for comments... you will get them, good or bad.

neva4saken

i am new to MFP only been on for a few months but i pride myself on being supportive and positive and surrounding myself with the same, in my opinion life throws enough at us to deal with and keep it moving to add a circle of more aggravation i support anyone doing anything positive because i have been down the tough road .. feel free to add me i promise i am not mean :-)

ConnieSG

Wow! I am sorry to read that you have had mean people comment on your stuff. I have only been on MFP for almost 2 weeks and the support that I have received is awesome. Just know that you are on here for your own goals and no one elses.

cmonskinnylovee

I have seen on here to just state your opinion not attack those who are not doing the same as you. Everybody is different and what works for one may not work for all. They think they are right just as much as you think you are. I rely mostly on the friends I have on MVP than the forums.

Everytime I state my opinion someone either

a. belittles my intelligence. Which is bull because I got a 30 on the act, I was in high honor roll through high school, and I have been on the 'streets' at points in my life, so there is no way i am stupid. i also know what I am talking about when it comes to weight loss, but I'm not getting into that again

b. just blatantly attacks me.... I don't have the best self esteem, so it really takes its toll, you know?

crazynay96

As I've previously stated, people are judgmental and catty because they have issues within themselves and it makes them feel better to attack others, some of this also stems from jealously. These are not the type of people I need in my life, virtual or not, so I just remain the bigger person and rid them and keep it moving. I'm here for me and to meet my goals - If I meet other great women or men along the way fantastic, if I don't it won't hinder me in anyway! Only I can stop me from achieving my goals and dreams! Just try to remember that Surround yourself with positiveness and stay above the drama! Good luck in your goals and achievements!

voluptas63

*drags the dead horse into the thread*


Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.

cmonskinnylovee

*drags the dead horse into the thread*


Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.

Example A.

cmonskinnylovee

not on this account but on many others i've been here for about a year and i see a total difference and i don't like it

Same here, I've had three different accounts. Mostly because I forgot the passwords for the other two! But year I definitely see a difference.

ConnieSG

If you need a person as a friend on here that does not judge, please feel free to add me. As far as I am concerned, I am doing this for me and no one else.

TracieJ65

Agree with you 100%. I have been a member since 1/2010 and really used all of the hints, suggestions, and tips to my advantage! This was such a supportive place and I really believe that because of all of that I was able to get to where I am! I have been on here only here and there since June, due to living through a disaster! I was getting slightly disgusted with the CRAP here before the disaster and NOW every time I check things out, quickly, all I seem to see is real snooty crap! Most of this seems to come from those who are very new here! I am sure glad that I became a member when I did, learned to eat better, exercise more, change my crappy habits, and lose 120 pounds, because if I was to become a member now I would not get the success that I have!

I am living in a federal disaster area and there is NOTHING positive about it! Doesn't seem much different on here!

withchaco

As soon as people find out how much I weigh, they are always super rude to me. Almost instantly. Just because I am not fat or overweight or chubby or whatever they think that they are somehow better than me. Not everyone, just the meanies

It might not have anything to do with your weight. There are all kinds of reasons that make people rude/ mean.

In general, the larger a community becomes, the less close-knit and less friendly it gets.

chevy88grl

*drags the dead horse into the thread*


Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.

Maybe it is a dead horse being beaten to YOU, but it seems to me that the original poster had a genuine concern (hence why it was even brought up).

I don't get why people can't use the back button on their computer. Why even post? Really? If you aren't interested in what was written - BACK. BACK. BACK.

There's no need to hit reply just to be snarky.

cmonskinnylovee

*drags the dead horse into the thread*


Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.

Maybe it is a dead horse being beaten to YOU, but it seems to me that the original poster had a genuine concern (hence why it was even brought up).

I don't get why people can't use the back button on their computer. Why even post? Really? If you aren't interested in what was written - BACK. BACK. BACK.

There's no need to hit reply just to be snarky.

Exactly!

No offense to anyone on here, but I am only 18. I thought the teenagers were supposed to be the mean ones? So far all the people my age are the NICE ones, not that people out of their teens are nice as well. But the majority of the rude people are over 18, which I find ironic

It's like I'm back in high school.

chevy88grl

As soon as people find out how much I weigh, they are always super rude to me. Almost instantly. Just because I am not fat or overweight or chubby or whatever they think that they are somehow better than me. Not everyone, just the meanies

It might not have anything to do with your weight. There are all kinds of reasons that make people rude/ mean.

In general, the larger a community becomes, the less close-knit and less friendly it gets.

I've also been asked (more than once) why I'm still here if I've reached my goal weight and am maintaining.

I let them know that this is called MY FITNESS PAL and not MY WEIGHT LOSS PAL. Just because I have different goals now doesn't mean I deserve to be here less than someone who has weight to lose still.

chevy88grl

*drags the dead horse into the thread*


Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.

Maybe it is a dead horse being beaten to YOU, but it seems to me that the original poster had a genuine concern (hence why it was even brought up).

I don't get why people can't use the back button on their computer. Why even post? Really? If you aren't interested in what was written - BACK. BACK. BACK.

There's no need to hit reply just to be snarky.

Exactly!

No offense to anyone on here, but I am only 18. I thought the teenagers were supposed to be the mean ones? So far all the people my age are the NICE ones, not that people out of their teens are nice as well. But the majority of the rude people are over 18, which I find ironic

It's like I'm back in high school.

Well. I am definitely NOT a teenager anymore (heck, I have teenage kids! LOL) but I know how to be nice. I also know how to stand up to other people and I'm not afraid to do it. I've been told that I can be quite b*tchy and that's okay. I only do it when it is necessary.

cmonskinnylovee

Two years ago when I made my first account on MFP, it was a wonderful place. Everyone was so nice, so supportive, and so open to the ideas and helpful hints of others.

Now it's all catty, and jealous, and just straight up MEAN. I seriously have had more mean and rude comments made to me, than nice and supportive ones.

Does anyone else feel that the people of MFP have changed over the past two years?

But we are all adults here. Me maybe not so much, but you get what I mean.

My point is a helpful and informative comment is one thing, but a rude, snarky, and completely useless attack on ones intelligence or weight loss is completely different. It's unnecessary.

That's why I stay out of the forums during TOM. I tend to get a little snarky sometimes... but mainly at people who think they know everything. My suggestion is to surround yourself with supportive friends and delete the ones who are not helpful. The forums, on the other hand, if you ask for comments... you will get them, good or bad.

Ajwilson67

People are just Jealous by nature, you came here for support ..for what ever reason and that is all that matters, i have not seen any rudeness on here but im sure it is out there ...
Keep on Trucking girL!

cmonskinnylovee

*drags the dead horse into the thread*


Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.

Maybe it is a dead horse being beaten to YOU, but it seems to me that the original poster had a genuine concern (hence why it was even brought up).

I don't get why people can't use the back button on their computer. Why even post? Really? If you aren't interested in what was written - BACK. BACK. BACK.

There's no need to hit reply just to be snarky.

Exactly!

No offense to anyone on here, but I am only 18. I thought the teenagers were supposed to be the mean ones? So far all the people my age are the NICE ones, not that people out of their teens are nice as well. But the majority of the rude people are over 18, which I find ironic

It's like I'm back in high school.

Well. I am definitely NOT a teenager anymore (heck, I have teenage kids! LOL) but I know how to be nice. I also know how to stand up to other people and I'm not afraid to do it. I've been told that I can be quite b*tchy and that's okay. I only do it when it is necessary.

Everyone needs to be like that at some point, unless you want to get walked all over. But people should only do it to those who, for lack of a better term- did it first.

I didn't mean ALL adults are mean, I meant all the rude people on here are adults.... I think that makes sense, right?

voluptas63

Look.

We're all different. Some of us are designed for support and rainbows straight up your butt. Some of us (such as myself) prefer to motivate through giving it to you straight.

Personally, I respond better to being told straight to my face. If I were to come on these boards and whine about not losing weight (or what have you, it's just an analogy for pity's sake) but if you looked at my diary and it was full of junk and fast food etc. You'd know why I wasn't losing weight. NOW. If you told me "It's okay, just wipe the slate clean and move on!"... I guarantee that'd hit me about as hard as a fly on Godzilla's butt. If you told me "Look lady, you're shoving crap into your piehole. STOP IT."

If nobody is blatantly calling you ignorant or just making straight name calls at you, I see no problem in the commentary. All kinds of people are on these boards. You open yourself up to them when you post. The founding fathers gave us all the Freedom of Speech and just like some think people like myself shouldn't exercise it, the street goes both ways.

FearAnLoathing

*drags the dead horse into the thread*


Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.

Maybe it is a dead horse being beaten to YOU, but it seems to me that the original poster had a genuine concern (hence why it was even brought up).

I don't get why people can't use the back button on their computer. Why even post? Really? If you aren't interested in what was written - BACK. BACK. BACK.

There's no need to hit reply just to be snarky.

Maybe thats just their opinion,were all entitled to our opinions even if others find them mean or snarky.I personally feel people around here just need to toughen up.The same argument could be said if you dont like what someone posts you dont have to quote it or reaspond to it.
To the OP if this is about your other thread with the bmr rmr debate the only one I saw being rude in there was you whenever someone disagreed with you

cmonskinnylovee

*drags the dead horse into the thread*


Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.

Maybe it is a dead horse being beaten to YOU, but it seems to me that the original poster had a genuine concern (hence why it was even brought up).

I don't get why people can't use the back button on their computer. Why even post? Really? If you aren't interested in what was written - BACK. BACK. BACK.

There's no need to hit reply just to be snarky.

Maybe thats just their opinion,were all entitled to our opinions even if others find them mean or snarky.I personally feel people around here just need to toughen up.The same argument could be said if you dont like what someone posts you dont have to quote it or reaspond to it.
To the OP if this is about your other thread with the bmr rmr debate the only one I saw being rude in there was you whenever someone disagreed with you

I was only rude when someone belittled my intelligence, which most of the people who I responded to did. I got one term wrong, and suddenly I was an idiot.

FearAnLoathing

*drags the dead horse into the thread*


Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.

Maybe it is a dead horse being beaten to YOU, but it seems to me that the original poster had a genuine concern (hence why it was even brought up).

I don't get why people can't use the back button on their computer. Why even post? Really? If you aren't interested in what was written - BACK. BACK. BACK.

There's no need to hit reply just to be snarky.

Maybe thats just their opinion,were all entitled to our opinions even if others find them mean or snarky.I personally feel people around here just need to toughen up.The same argument could be said if you dont like what someone posts you dont have to quote it or reaspond to it.
To the OP if this is about your other thread with the bmr rmr debate the only one I saw being rude in there was you whenever someone disagreed with you

I was only rude when someone belittled my intelligence, which most of the people who I responded to did. I got one term wrong, and suddenly I was an idiot.

really cause I was reading that thread when it got pulled,and never once did I see someone belittle your intelligence.Or call you an idiotTelling someone hey i dont think your right is not belittleing your intelligence its callled disagreeing.

cmonskinnylovee

Look.

We're all different. Some of us are designed for support and rainbows straight up your butt. Some of us (such as myself) prefer to motivate through giving it to you straight.

Personally, I respond better to being told straight to my face. If I were to come on these boards and whine about not losing weight (or what have you, it's just an analogy for pity's sake) but if you looked at my diary and it was full of junk and fast food etc. You'd know why I wasn't losing weight. NOW. If you told me "It's okay, just wipe the slate clean and move on!"... I guarantee that'd hit me about as hard as a fly on Godzilla's butt. If you told me "Look lady, you're shoving crap into your piehole. STOP IT."

If nobody is blatantly calling you ignorant or just making straight name calls at you, I see no problem in the commentary. All kinds of people are on these boards. You open yourself up to them when you post. The founding fathers gave us all the Freedom of Speech and just like some think people like myself shouldn't exercise it, the street goes both ways.

I understand what you're saying, and I am actually the same why. In most aspects I like things to be given to me straight forwards. No bs, no teeter-tottering, no 'sparing my feelings' just plain out tell me.

But there is a significant difference between telling it how it is, and being rude and distasteful. If you were eating too much and I was your friend I'd be like "That's a little much- don't complain later if you feel guilty!" but I would NOT say "WOW... eat much? That's going to make you really fat..."

Do you see the difference?

And people were straight out belittling me, which should not be tolerated on a site called My Fitness PAL. It's not My Fitness Jerk.

And this isn't a snide remark at you either, what you said was just bad timing. What other people have said to me was plain out RUDE.

On a post earlier, I messed up some terminology- literally one term- and suddenly I was a world class idiot. It was as if no one else on that board had ever used the wrong term in their life.

I was dumb, and I was wrong, and therefore my opinion was trash.

cmonskinnylovee

*drags the dead horse into the thread*


Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.

Maybe it is a dead horse being beaten to YOU, but it seems to me that the original poster had a genuine concern (hence why it was even brought up).

I don't get why people can't use the back button on their computer. Why even post? Really? If you aren't interested in what was written - BACK. BACK. BACK.

There's no need to hit reply just to be snarky.

Maybe thats just their opinion,were all entitled to our opinions even if others find them mean or snarky.I personally feel people around here just need to toughen up.The same argument could be said if you dont like what someone posts you dont have to quote it or reaspond to it.
To the OP if this is about your other thread with the bmr rmr debate the only one I saw being rude in there was you whenever someone disagreed with you

I was only rude when someone belittled my intelligence, which most of the people who I responded to did. I got one term wrong, and suddenly I was an idiot.

really cause I was reading that thread when it got pulled,and never once did I see someone belittle your intelligence.Or call you an idiotTelling someone hey i dont think your right is not belittleing your intelligence its callled disagreeing.

Okay, I'm not going to argue with you. It was my thread, and I did read every single post on there, but I'm done arguing with people who are apparently smarter than I am.

(That wasn't rude, by the way. That was passive aggressive/sarcastic)

ConnieSG

Just be the better person and walk away from it