Where'd all the support go?
Replies
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Look.
We're all different. Some of us are designed for support and rainbows straight up your butt. Some of us (such as myself) prefer to motivate through giving it to you straight.
Personally, I respond better to being told straight to my face. If I were to come on these boards and whine about not losing weight (or what have you, it's just an analogy for pity's sake) but if you looked at my diary and it was full of junk and fast food etc. You'd know why I wasn't losing weight. NOW. If you told me "It's okay, just wipe the slate clean and move on!"... I guarantee that'd hit me about as hard as a fly on Godzilla's butt. If you told me "Look lady, you're shoving crap into your piehole. STOP IT."
If nobody is blatantly calling you ignorant or just making straight name calls at you, I see no problem in the commentary. All kinds of people are on these boards. You open yourself up to them when you post. The founding fathers gave us all the Freedom of Speech and just like some think people like myself shouldn't exercise it, the street goes both ways.
I understand what you're saying, and I am actually the same why. In most aspects I like things to be given to me straight forwards. No bs, no teeter-tottering, no 'sparing my feelings' just plain out tell me.
But there is a significant difference between telling it how it is, and being rude and distasteful. If you were eating too much and I was your friend I'd be like "That's a little much- don't complain later if you feel guilty!" but I would NOT say "WOW... eat much? That's going to make you really fat..."
Do you see the difference?
And people were straight out belittling me, which should not be tolerated on a site called My Fitness PAL. It's not My Fitness Jerk.
And this isn't a snide remark at you either, what you said was just bad timing. What other people have said to me was plain out RUDE.
On a post earlier, I messed up some terminology- literally one term- and suddenly I was a world class idiot. It was as if no one else on that board had ever used the wrong term in their life.
I was dumb, and I was wrong, and therefore my opinion was trash.
I learned a LONG time ago and perhaps it is something that you should learn since you're young (Hell, when did I get so old?)...
We choose how we react to how people treat us. We can sit and wallow and pity or we can move on. We can dwell or we can tell ourselves "Y'know what? That person is WRONG about me. I am not xyz. I am abc." We choose our reactions to others and to give them a reaction that they want, then they've won and you might as well just give up right then and there.0 -
If you post something that is wrong, people are going to call you on it. And if they have a different opinion from you, they are going to express it. That doesn't make folks mean, snarky or rude. I saw the previous BMR-RMR or whatever thread too, and the only one being rude imo was you.0
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*drags the dead horse into the thread*
Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.
Maybe it is a dead horse being beaten to YOU, but it seems to me that the original poster had a genuine concern (hence why it was even brought up).
I don't get why people can't use the back button on their computer. Why even post? Really? If you aren't interested in what was written - BACK. BACK. BACK.
There's no need to hit reply just to be snarky.
Maybe thats just their opinion,were all entitled to our opinions even if others find them mean or snarky.I personally feel people around here just need to toughen up.The same argument could be said if you dont like what someone posts you dont have to quote it or reaspond to it.
To the OP if this is about your other thread with the bmr rmr debate the only one I saw being rude in there was you whenever someone disagreed with you
I was only rude when someone belittled my intelligence, which most of the people who I responded to did. I got one term wrong, and suddenly I was an idiot.
really cause I was reading that thread when it got pulled,and never once did I see someone belittle your intelligence.Or call you an idiotTelling someone hey i dont think your right is not belittleing your intelligence its callled disagreeing.
Okay, I'm not going to argue with you. It was my thread, and I did read every single post on there, but I'm done arguing with people who are apparently smarter than I am.
(That wasn't rude, by the way. That was passive aggressive/sarcastic)
ok you know what its a WEBSITE with hundrads of people from all over,really if you cant handle people not falling all over themselves to agree with you then maybe you should stay away the forums and POOF your problem is solved. And some people might argue that being sarcastic is rude.Cool that means I can go run and start a thread on the lack of support.:laugh:
(that wasnt rude or sarcastic that was just the truth,incase you needed some clarification)0 -
....WEBSITE with hundrads
*hundreds
(That wasn't passive aggressive/sarcasm/truth. That was straight up smartass.)0 -
....WEBSITE with hundrads
*hundreds
(That wasn't passive aggressive/sarcasm/truth. That was straight up smartass.)
No that was hilarious!!!!!!!!0 -
I've never been attacked on mfp, and I get amazing support from my friends here. I took Lent off mfp and I missed all of that so much.
On the other hand, there are people, and some of them the very same people who support me so well as friends, who enjoy pointing out when things are getting ridiculous... And I'm sure you've seen that they do. Sometimes, being unconditionally supportive is simply being fake.
I enjoy the Tom-foolery on mfp. Personally, I do my very best not to offend anyone, but I like the honesty of those who are not saccharin sweet all the time.0 -
Hmmm... I have found an amazing amount of support - and dare I say love - on MFP and I have only been here a year. It comes from the smart, beautiful, dedicated, imperfect but perfectly supportive people who live in my friends list.
When I venture into the forums I am leaving my insular group and open myself up to people that may not be people I want to add. Just because someone disagrees with me or takes me to task does not make them bad people - and in fact, I am quite different in many ways from some of the people I adore the most here.
I think people are confusing a supportive atmosphere with one that is just enabling and full of yes-men. If I were to consider undertaking a dangerous diet and people called me on it - guess what? That's supportive, too. Support does not equal virtual group hugs and kumbaya sing-a-longs.
The more people complain about how MFP isn't the great place it used to be, the more they are making it a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's not adding anything constructive to the community.0 -
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Look.
We're all different. Some of us are designed for support and rainbows straight up your butt. Some of us (such as myself) prefer to motivate through giving it to you straight.
Personally, I respond better to being told straight to my face. If I were to come on these boards and whine about not losing weight (or what have you, it's just an analogy for pity's sake) but if you looked at my diary and it was full of junk and fast food etc. You'd know why I wasn't losing weight. NOW. If you told me "It's okay, just wipe the slate clean and move on!"... I guarantee that'd hit me about as hard as a fly on Godzilla's butt. If you told me "Look lady, you're shoving crap into your piehole. STOP IT."
If nobody is blatantly calling you ignorant or just making straight name calls at you, I see no problem in the commentary. All kinds of people are on these boards. You open yourself up to them when you post. The founding fathers gave us all the Freedom of Speech and just like some think people like myself shouldn't exercise it, the street goes both ways.
I understand what you're saying, and I am actually the same why. In most aspects I like things to be given to me straight forwards. No bs, no teeter-tottering, no 'sparing my feelings' just plain out tell me.
But there is a significant difference between telling it how it is, and being rude and distasteful. If you were eating too much and I was your friend I'd be like "That's a little much- don't complain later if you feel guilty!" but I would NOT say "WOW... eat much? That's going to make you really fat..."
Do you see the difference?
And people were straight out belittling me, which should not be tolerated on a site called My Fitness PAL. It's not My Fitness Jerk.
And this isn't a snide remark at you either, what you said was just bad timing. What other people have said to me was plain out RUDE.
On a post earlier, I messed up some terminology- literally one term- and suddenly I was a world class idiot. It was as if no one else on that board had ever used the wrong term in their life.
I was dumb, and I was wrong, and therefore my opinion was trash.
I learned a LONG time ago and perhaps it is something that you should learn since you're young (Hell, when did I get so old?)...
We choose how we react to how people treat us. We can sit and wallow and pity or we can move on. We can dwell or we can tell ourselves "Y'know what? That person is WRONG about me. I am not xyz. I am abc." We choose our reactions to others and to give them a reaction that they want, then they've won and you might as well just give up right then and there.
This is definitely a lesson I need to learn, I am entirely too proud I think.0 -
I like this.
Are you a channer? If not just ignore I ever said anything and move on, because I probably look crazy. O.O0 -
I love all of my supportive, encouraging, witty, sarcastic, twisted, beautiful, handsome friends. They are the best bunch of friends I could have ever asked for. People on the forums. Well, they are just more entertainment.0
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I like this.
Are you a channer? If not just ignore I ever said anything and move on, because I probably look crazy. O.O
I assume you mean 4chan or whatever it's called....no I'm not, but have heard of it. I'm just a seasoned forum goer :bigsmile:0 -
I have seen on here to just state your opinion not attack those who are not doing the same as you. Everybody is different and what works for one may not work for all. They think they are right just as much as you think you are. I rely mostly on the friends I have on MVP than the forums.
Everytime I state my opinion someone either
a. belittles my intelligence. Which is bull because I got a 30 on the act, I was in high honor roll through high school, and I have been on the 'streets' at points in my life, so there is no way i am stupid. i also know what I am talking about when it comes to weight loss, but I'm not getting into that again
b. just blatantly attacks me.... I don't have the best self esteem, so it really takes its toll, you know?
A good friend of mine often says, "People are pigs". I understand how you feel - I hate it when people imply I'm stupid- or say it outright for that matter. It's easy to say let it roll off your back, but it's very hard for most of us to do that. I'm sorry that people have been mean. Maybe we should all make a pact - if someone who we've "friended" is mean, we should "unfriend" them. If someone is mean in someone's post - ours or a complete strangers - we should call out their meanness and then leave the post before we get sucked in. What do you guys think?0 -
I have just been here since Jan of this year and all my friends are nice and supportive. Though I do see some posts on here that aren't nice.
I have seen posts on here that are mean/ catty too but I think for the most part people here are supportive.
You are going to find people like that no matter where you go in life sad to say.
I agree with you. I have had very nice people to comment but i have seen some stuff that was kinda rude, but i agree that in real life people are more rude nowdays. I find it hard to swallow at times. It seems people are not as caring anymore ,not all mind you, but it is different in the real world even. It just saddens me that people can be extremly flippent or caddy. Sorry they treated you that way.0 -
(That wasn't rude, by the way. That was passive aggressive/sarcastic)
And you somehow think that makes you better than people who are straight-up rude? Someone really needs to call you a whaaaambulance.0 -
(That wasn't rude, by the way. That was passive aggressive/sarcastic)
And you somehow think that makes you better than people who are straight-up rude? Someone really needs to call you a whaaaambulance.
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I was getting my undies all bundled reading this...
But then I saw the kitty.
I lurve ya killa. i do....0 -
Probably jealous because you are young, thin and beautiful. If you were 100 lbs overweight people would be nice to you.0
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All I'll say is this. You are 18. You are, by your own admission, young and sensitive. You posted your ACT score as some sort of "proof" of intelligence. Many of us don't even remember taking the ACTs/SATs Our life experience has taught us other things. And some people may be trying to share that with you. You can choose to accept it, play with it like a kitten with a ball of yarn, ignore it, etc.
This is the wonderful WORLD WIDE web. All sorts of different people, opinions, etc. It may not be the place for you to chat if you don't like disagreement. Personally, when you said "People don't like me when they find out I'm not fat" (I'm paraphrasing) I'm immediately rolling my eyes at such a statement.
Not everyone farts rainbows, some don't even find beauty in them 0 -
Probably jealous because you are young, thin and beautiful. If you were 100 lbs overweight people would be nice to you.
Yes. People are only nice to the overweight.
See what I just did there?? :bigsmile:0 -
Not everyone farts rainbows, so don't even find beauty in them
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Not everyone farts rainbows, so don't even find beauty in them
lol wtf... google much?0 -
Not everyone farts rainbows, so don't even find beauty in them
lol wtf... google much?
Fart rainbows much? :happy:0 -
I have noticed there are a few different "Motivational" schools of thought here on mfp. There are sweet, sunshiny people, "Great Job!
". There are matter of fact "Nice work" people. And there are *kitten* who use the Wonderful world wide web to be unaccountably rude, "Hey, I don't fart rainbows". These people are just bullies. I have read bully posts from skinny people and fat people. *kitten* are *kitten*.
Great! Sunshine won't motivate you. Fine. Read a different post.
If it's a sunshiny thread, and you aren't sunshiny, move on. If you stay to insist on inflicting yourself on others who are obviously unresponsive, you're simply a bully.
Not everyone is motivated the same way, and if you were really, REALLY interested in motivating someone, wouldn't you do what THEY needed? If you go so far as to read their food diary, why not pay attention to their posts and see what may work to motivate them?
Bullies aren't interested in helping you. Bullies are only interested in making themselves feel powerful or important. They beat up on others, praying especially on weakness, (because, see, it's easy, and really bullies just puffed up bottom feeders).
They aren't powerful or important, without us telling them they are. So don't pay them any attention.
It's like watering a weed that's killing your garden.0 -
as an accountant i find being called unaccountably rude... intriguing.0
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I agree people can be jealous because you are young thin and pretty but on the other hand " my opinion" it seems as though this is really bothering you and maybe you might want to start either being more selective with the friends you choose if thats the case or be prepared by people that will always have a comeback and they will continue to do it because you are giving in to them. FOCUS on why you are here and know life is full of people who are all different and sometimes just a quick double checking your resources might save all this bull**** but then again you are right we all have maybe at some point misused a term or whatever. I'm in my 20.s not too much older than you but posting your ACT score seems weird you don't have to prove your smart to any of us. No one on here should validate who you are maybe you were looking for some encouragement it seems but don't waste your energy on battles that don't matter. Just my opinion! Good luck missy! 0
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There is definitely some self-awareness and humility in you, which I respect. Having those characteristics so young will serve you well. Hold onto that.I learned a LONG time ago and perhaps it is something that you should learn since you're young (Hell, when did I get so old?)...
We choose how we react to how people treat us. We can sit and wallow and pity or we can move on. We can dwell or we can tell ourselves "Y'know what? That person is WRONG about me. I am not xyz. I am abc." We choose our reactions to others and to give them a reaction that they want, then they've won and you might as well just give up right then and there.
This is definitely a lesson I need to learn, I am entirely too proud I think.
HOWEVER....
Did you really throw out a 4chan reference in a thread you started about how people are MEAN?Are you a channer? If not just ignore I ever said anything and move on, because I probably look crazy. O.O0 -
Not everyone farts rainbows, so don't even find beauty in them
lol wtf... google much?
Fart rainbows much? :happy:
!?!?!? NEVER0 -
*drags the dead horse into the thread*
Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.
That's so thoughtful!0 -
*drags the dead horse into the thread*
Well, if you're going to beat it, you might as well not have to reach for it.
Maybe it is a dead horse being beaten to YOU, but it seems to me that the original poster had a genuine concern (hence why it was even brought up).
I don't get why people can't use the back button on their computer. Why even post? Really? If you aren't interested in what was written - BACK. BACK. BACK.
There's no need to hit reply just to be snarky.
Maybe thats just their opinion,were all entitled to our opinions even if others find them mean or snarky.I personally feel people around here just need to toughen up.The same argument could be said if you dont like what someone posts you dont have to quote it or reaspond to it.
To the OP if this is about your other thread with the bmr rmr debate the only one I saw being rude in there was you whenever someone disagreed with you
I was only rude when someone belittled my intelligence, which most of the people who I responded to did. I got one term wrong, and suddenly I was an idiot.
really cause I was reading that thread when it got pulled,and never once did I see someone belittle your intelligence.Or call you an idiotTelling someone hey i dont think your right is not belittleing your intelligence its callled disagreeing.
Okay, I'm not going to argue with you. It was my thread, and I did read every single post on there, but I'm done arguing with people who are apparently smarter than I am.
(That wasn't rude, by the way. That was passive aggressive/sarcastic)
aka Snarky?0
This discussion has been closed.
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