Confession of a former (almost) 500lbs guy

thedreamhazer

I would eat when I got hungry, even if I knew I'd be having a meal soon. This meant I'd eat a meal at 3pm, eat dinner when my dad made it at 6pm, and then get something to eat when I went out with my friends at 8pm. And we're not talking "snacks" --- we're talking full meals! I would just feel GUILTY if I didn't eat when everyone else was eating!

I've learned since that it doesn't matter if others are eating. That means that THEY'RE hungry, not that I'M hungry. Seems like an obvious distinction, but for some reason it's one I had to learn!

SwtKittN

After my family had all gone to sleep, I'd take the car out and go to some place open late (taco bell, wendys, arbys, steak n shake, white castle) all within 10 mins of my house open 24 hrs.. And eat even more food. There's times when I'd go to wendys and order a huge cheeseburger, AND a chicken sandwich and fries etc.. Or even recently as about two weeks ago I went to taco bell and got like 6 tacos, granted I order them without meat but still..

I used to do that at least afew times a week. That recent taco bell run I was having a really bad day and I hadn't done it in afew months When I go online to view calorie content I'm like literally blown away at just how much I was really eating. There's times I wish I had the balls to tell someone to take the keys just so I won't go out at night and do it. But I don't think they know I do and I'm way too embarrassed to ever admit that I do.. at least not to people that I know.

I would even when I go grocery shopping but a whole extra bag of goodies just extra crap for me to eat. Boxes of cookies, sandwiches, and I would hide them so people didn't know about it. To stop that I wish I could ask someone to shop WITH me so I wouldn't do it.. but again, too embarrassed.

I'm may not be in my "heaviest days" but I'm only down 30ish pounds so they're not that far behind me. But it is a daily struggle for sure. This site and being able to see calorie content I've found to be a Godsend but still need to work on my self control but it is a lot better than it used to be

PeachyKeene

I would eat 2 snickers ice cream bars nearly every night. But, I never could understand why I am was so fat. :sick:

ladybug11

I would diet religiously all week. Then on the weekends, I would binge on fried foods like taquitos, cheese sticks, cheese bread, and ice cream. I would wash it down with a nice glass of *gulps shamefully* laxative. Thing is, I stayed fat. Finally one day, I woke up and started eating consciously. I discovered I loved to run, found the vegan diet, and here I am ten years later in the best shape of my life.

I hope this helps someone, because I struggled silently for years.

Diary_Queen

i used to have Wednesdays off at my last job. I would take my kids to daycare and stop by the grocery store on the way home. By the time i finished shopping and made it home, my mom (who works nights and lives with us) woul dbe asleep. Id buy 2 cans of pringles - 1 salt & vinegar, the other pizza flavor; a ring of peel and eat shrimp with extra coctail sauce; a giant pickle; a box of chicken taquitos; a half gallon of orange juice and usually a kimchi noodle soup deal. That would be breakfast..... I might have some o.j. left over, but very little. Id sit in front of the tv to my Wednesday morning spread. Eat, watch a marathon on tv then sleep from 11am until 430pm when i had to jump up and race to get my kids from daycare before it closed. I was disgusting!!!!

kapeluza

Stopping by the stop and go on my way to work in the morning, I would get cookies and a soda for breakfast.

TopazCarey

I would leave my last class of the day early just to get to McDonald's before the lunch rush. I'd order a double cheese burger, a 10 piece nugget, large fries and a large sweet tea. And at least a few times a week I would walk over to the 24 hour gas station at like 1 in the morning and buy a ton of junk food. I just couldn't say no to their giant cookies.

And I wondered why I was so fat...

KnottyJen

Leftovers were *one* of my biggest downfalls. I would make something for dinner and then pack up the leftovers, put them in the fridge and plant myself in front of the tv for the evening. And then every commercial break, I'd get up and go pick at the leftovers, until I'd eventually eaten everything that I'd packed up.

I'm so glad that I've gotten away from that....I eat healthier foods, I am able to resist the leftovers and I no longer camp out in front of the tv for hours.

WTG to Everyone for beating your bad habits! Or working on beating them!!

Larius

How about an entire 16" Pizza with extra cheese and toppings, washed down with an entire 2 liter of mountain dew (or a 12-pack of beer)? Oh, and that was after a full dinner.

JulieF11

Makes me so sad to remember those days... those days when I felt so alone, so out of control, so hungry for something, but never satisfied...

Yes, if we ever had over a 100 pounds or more to lose, most likely we all had those odd behaviors, like hiding food, wrappers, etc... I stashed things near my bed and even packed food in my suitcase so that I wouldn't have to worry about being hungry on vacation.

I feel blessed to be rid of those crazy habits that gave me temporary comfort and a lifetime of pain. It's like an "affair" with food... it may seem great while it's happening, but it's cheating yourself out of happiness and making you feel like you can't even trust yourself.

I pray that anyone still suffering with those addictions, be courageous enough to realize they have the ability to take control. It's only difficult the first couple months, then it's not even an issue. Learn to trust yourself by being trustworthy... and things start to fall into place. Life is good.

500lbs2marathon

Your blog is AMAZING. Thank you for sharing your journey on here. I wish you continued success.

Thanx!

savethecat

My biggest one was fast food on the way home from work. On my hour long commute I would stop and get a whole meal to eat during the drive. Always with fries, always with a coke, always with sugary or creamy dipping sauces.

Then when I pulled into my apartment complex I would ditch the bags and receipt then go home and eat dinner like nothing had ever happened. Not to mention I would snack until I fell asleep.

Funny thing is one night I had this break down where I confessed to my wife I had been doing this everyday for almost a year and she sort of just nodded and said she had been doing the same thing for even longer. Figures that we had both gained 25+ pounds that year.

My how things change.

500lbs2marathon

I pray that anyone still suffering with those addictions, be courageous enough to realize they have the ability to take control. It's only difficult the first couple months, then it's not even an issue. Learn to trust yourself by being trustworthy... and things start to fall into place. Life is good.

Amen Julie

MelMoly

I would skip breakfast and lunch and Binge eat at dinner....:grumble:

kenzietea

I would diet religiously all week. Then on the weekends, I would binge on fried foods like taquitos, cheese sticks, cheese bread, and ice cream. I would wash it down with a nice glass of *gulps shamefully* laxative. Thing is, I stayed fat. Finally one day, I woke up and started eating consciously. I discovered I loved to run, found the vegan diet, and here I am ten years later in the best shape of my life.

I hope this helps someone, because I struggled silently for years.

Sounds like what I would do, sans laxatives, and puke instead. SO unhealthy.

Persian99

I would do something similar. I'd bring home dinner, and eat something on the way home in the car. Now that I'm tracking every calorie I consume, I'm horrified thinking about how many extra calories I was consuming, for no good reason. I wasn't even hungry. I would have felt just fine having a bottle of water instead.

I still have moments where I have to convince myself that I'm not hungry. I was so used to eating at times when the emotion/feeling I was having was something other than hunger (frustration, fatigue, anger), it's difficult to break that mental link. It's almost Pavlovian.

jhendricks123

Oh man... I would OFTEN go to McDonalds, Burgerking, Wendy's, Taco Bell etc, and order two (or three!) combo meals just so the person at the window wouldn't think it was all for me. Sometimes I would hit up 2-3 different fast food joints on my way home to get what I liked at each place (Frosty and Fries at Wendy's anyone?).

When I ordered pizza, I'd eat a whole large or family size pizza in one sitting.

I'd eat an entire half-gallon of ice cream in a couple days.

I'd get a couple steak grilled stuffed burritos from Taco Bell on my way home from work, eat them on the way, then maybe grab a pizza or more fast food for "dinner". That same day I probably ate a foot-long double-meet sandwich from subway or Big Town Hero.

I "only" hit 350 before I ended the cycle, but given just one more year I would have been very close to 500.

danizaga

breakfast foods are my weakness and if i didn't bring my lunch i'd gorge on breakfast. i'd stop by alberto's get a breakfast burrito or two then i'd go to mcdonald's and get an iced coffee, 2 hash browns and a parfee. forget it driving home i'd call my sister or mom to see if they'd want to go out to dinner. usually something good and fatty like italian eat all the bread and salad with tons of blue cheese and completely eat my plate of pasta like getting the bread and wiping it up every last drop of sauce. i'd do this like 2 or 3 times a week

colesproudmama

Sitting on the couch with a bag of chips and watching biggest loser crying for those people.... i should have been crying for myself!

Sonchie

I remember me and my then 3 year old son stopping for nuggets and id buy the 20 piece and he might eat three. id finish them! That was so long ago i dont even remember which fast food place that was, but I guarantee I havent been to that place in many years. McDonalds or Popeyes arent even on my radar these days! Praise God!