Confession of a former (almost) 500lbs guy

500lbs2marathon

Your blog is AMAZING. Thank you for sharing your journey on here. I wish you continued success.

Thanx!

savethecat

My biggest one was fast food on the way home from work. On my hour long commute I would stop and get a whole meal to eat during the drive. Always with fries, always with a coke, always with sugary or creamy dipping sauces.

Then when I pulled into my apartment complex I would ditch the bags and receipt then go home and eat dinner like nothing had ever happened. Not to mention I would snack until I fell asleep.

Funny thing is one night I had this break down where I confessed to my wife I had been doing this everyday for almost a year and she sort of just nodded and said she had been doing the same thing for even longer. Figures that we had both gained 25+ pounds that year.

My how things change.

500lbs2marathon

I pray that anyone still suffering with those addictions, be courageous enough to realize they have the ability to take control. It's only difficult the first couple months, then it's not even an issue. Learn to trust yourself by being trustworthy... and things start to fall into place. Life is good.

Amen Julie

MelMoly

I would skip breakfast and lunch and Binge eat at dinner....:grumble:

kenzietea

I would diet religiously all week. Then on the weekends, I would binge on fried foods like taquitos, cheese sticks, cheese bread, and ice cream. I would wash it down with a nice glass of *gulps shamefully* laxative. Thing is, I stayed fat. Finally one day, I woke up and started eating consciously. I discovered I loved to run, found the vegan diet, and here I am ten years later in the best shape of my life.

I hope this helps someone, because I struggled silently for years.

Sounds like what I would do, sans laxatives, and puke instead. SO unhealthy.

Persian99

I would do something similar. I'd bring home dinner, and eat something on the way home in the car. Now that I'm tracking every calorie I consume, I'm horrified thinking about how many extra calories I was consuming, for no good reason. I wasn't even hungry. I would have felt just fine having a bottle of water instead.

I still have moments where I have to convince myself that I'm not hungry. I was so used to eating at times when the emotion/feeling I was having was something other than hunger (frustration, fatigue, anger), it's difficult to break that mental link. It's almost Pavlovian.

jhendricks123

Oh man... I would OFTEN go to McDonalds, Burgerking, Wendy's, Taco Bell etc, and order two (or three!) combo meals just so the person at the window wouldn't think it was all for me. Sometimes I would hit up 2-3 different fast food joints on my way home to get what I liked at each place (Frosty and Fries at Wendy's anyone?).

When I ordered pizza, I'd eat a whole large or family size pizza in one sitting.

I'd eat an entire half-gallon of ice cream in a couple days.

I'd get a couple steak grilled stuffed burritos from Taco Bell on my way home from work, eat them on the way, then maybe grab a pizza or more fast food for "dinner". That same day I probably ate a foot-long double-meet sandwich from subway or Big Town Hero.

I "only" hit 350 before I ended the cycle, but given just one more year I would have been very close to 500.

danizaga

breakfast foods are my weakness and if i didn't bring my lunch i'd gorge on breakfast. i'd stop by alberto's get a breakfast burrito or two then i'd go to mcdonald's and get an iced coffee, 2 hash browns and a parfee. forget it driving home i'd call my sister or mom to see if they'd want to go out to dinner. usually something good and fatty like italian eat all the bread and salad with tons of blue cheese and completely eat my plate of pasta like getting the bread and wiping it up every last drop of sauce. i'd do this like 2 or 3 times a week

colesproudmama

Sitting on the couch with a bag of chips and watching biggest loser crying for those people.... i should have been crying for myself!

Sonchie

I remember me and my then 3 year old son stopping for nuggets and id buy the 20 piece and he might eat three. id finish them! That was so long ago i dont even remember which fast food place that was, but I guarantee I havent been to that place in many years. McDonalds or Popeyes arent even on my radar these days! Praise God!

FitnessElle

I would eat when I was bored, sad, angry, depressed, excited, ashamed, nervous, anxious, and elated.

Eating was my way of coping with emotions which I could not accurately express or process.

duckpond11

I also was in denial about some food issues I had, which I've only in the past couple months really admitted to myself. I would also sneak/hide food. I didn't consume fast food or soda, so I never accepted that it was bad. For dinners I would serve myself a normal portion and eat it virtuously - but when I was cleaning up the dinner dishes, if there was extra left behind, I would scarf some as fast as so my husband wouldn't notice. If he went out to the shop or outside for any length of time after dinner, I'd hunt around for the ice cream and sneak some bites out of the carton so that nobody would know I'd done it. Obviously, I knew I shouldn't do that and was ashamed of it subconsciously, but I never spent any time at all thinking about what I was really doing. Hi, my name is Kristen, and I'm a food-a-holic.

iva001

I would work out for 20 minutes then cool off with a glass of coke. Or order a salad from the dining hall with extra cheese, croutons and creamy dressing and lots of processed meats, and a glass of coke. I would order a cheeseburger for breakfast, and eat two more for lunch. I was really skinny, underweight actually between the ages of 12-20 and I never thought it would catch up with me.
By 24 I was 165lbs, optimal weight is 120.

I managed to lose 30 by walking but have returned to bad habits and have regained 10lbs.

My problem now is that I don't like to throw away food, so I will eat up all unhealthy food in the house before I shop for healthier food.Also since I like to save money I will buy 2 frozen pizzas if its a better deal than buying 1.

mdively

Kinda like going to Mcdonalds, and eating two extra double cheeseburgers and ditching the wrappers before I got into the house. Than I'd eat my 20 pc nuggest, lg Fry, and tub o coke at home! Yep....did that many times, but they were only 99 cents at the time, so thats how I would justify it!!

Sad...but true!!

Proud to not have that "stuff" in my body anymore!

^^^^^^^
Wow, this was totally a regular day in my life just over a year ago. 2 double cheeseburgers were my weapon of choice -- for 99cents you can't beat that!! As I'd get home, I would make sure to put them in the trash on the outside of the house so as to discard the evidence from the eyes of my wife. Its amazing how ridiculous that seems now that I've taken control of my choices and decided to live for myself and my family!

minettc3

Im exactly the same only theres not many fast food places around me so my thing would be to sneak food almost like stealing from my own cupboards and then walk the dogs so I could eat my secret stash of goodies.
It is such a struggle some days I am totally an emotional eater, I eat when I feel down, I eat to reward myself etc
this site is helping me keep on track. In a odd way its good to know your not alone with this.

texgrl76

If I had cake or pie in the house, instead of cutting myself a slice, I would instead "even out" the edges and eat standing up. I would justify to myself that somehow I was consuming less calories this way than having a slice. Instead, I'd end up eating half the cake or pie this way! I caught myself starting to do this again over the weekend with my daughter's leftover birthday cake. I had to end up tossing the cake so I wouldn't eat the whole thing :embarassed:

500lbs2marathon

Im glad I posted this, it really helps to know we arent alone!

mike_littlerock

I have read several posts about you breaking the cycle. First of all, sorry to hear about your bike and I hope you were not injured. I have to admit, while people say that are amazed that your broke it, I think it would be fairly easy to break a bicycle if you are over 500lbs.

Now that you have lost weight, do you plan to get a new bike?

P.S. I am kidding. I saw the posts about him breaking the cycle and could not resist.

Great work.. I applaud you for having the courage to admit your mistakes, and talk about them so that you can help others. I tell friends about my old habit of eating a large pizza by myself for dinner and I can tell that it makes some people nervous, because they have done it too. I think that honestly goes a long way and its nice to open up to others, and let them know that there are no "secrets" its just watching what you eat and getting our bodies moving.

dreilingda

In my bachelor days, my dinner rotation consisted of one of the following.

Sonic: 1 double cheeseburger + Cheese Tots + Chocolate Sunday
Chilli's: Any fatty appetizer + Full rack baby back ribs + Fries + Chocolate Brownie
Chic-Fil-A: Chicken sandwhich (with lots of mayo) + Chicken Salad Sandwich
Pizza Hut: Large Stuffed Crust Pizza + 12 wings
Jason's Deli: Large Sandwhich + Large Fully Loaded Potato + Brownies or Cookies

Oh, and I always had plenty of beer to drink and other snacks around. When I was running 40 miles a week I did fine. When I got injured and took up smoking instead this translated into some fast weight gain.

SKP1986

I am addicted to Oreos and I used to buy the double stuff kind all the time - whenever I went shopping. I would then sit down with the package of double stuff oreos and a huge glass of milk and eat the entire thing. Same went for other sweets - entire pan of brownies at once, 3-4 HUGE pieces of cake at once - but the most regular was the Oreo overindulgence,

jwerman

Hiding,hiding, hiding...was the name of my game too. Been doing it since I was a kid....mom said just have one cookie, sneak back in the kitchen grab 3 more and bolt to the bathroom or my bedroom and inhale them...buying whole containers of icecream to eat on my day off with pocket change(so the good ol' checkbook wouldn't show the binge). And portion control, totally none it seems now...my hubby and I would nearly eat a whole 9x13 pan of lasagna in one sitting...you know eat 3/4 of it and save 1/4 for lunch tomorrow. I am ashamed to be saying this, but it is lesson learned!! I have soooo much more control of what goes into my mouth now, where before I had let food take control! "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!"

leynak

When I would go grocery shopping I would get some extra sugary treats & when I went to eat them I would pretty much hide so I didn't have to share with my kids. I tell myself it was because I didn't want them to take on my bad habits but it was really because I wanted more for myself.

One time I bought a whole box of those M&M cookie ice cream sandwiches & not only hid them from my kids but my fiance- I ate the whole box in probably 2 days.

Here's the difference between then & now- I had half a bar of Hershey's dark chocolate & was planning on eating it as I had plenty cals left. Since I wasn't hiding my daughter saw & asked if she could have some. So instead of half a bar I ate 1/4 & shared the rest with my 2 girls. Get this- I wasn't even disappointed!!

Tree72

I had several bad habits, but the worst was probably desert after every meal. Oh, I've finished breakfast, now it's time for a cinnamon roll or a doughnut. Hmm, lunch is done, must be time for some cookies. I finished all my dinner, definitely time for some cake or a pint of Ben and Jerry's.:embarassed:

I still like sweets, but don't have them every day now. I love MFP and being able to track how many calories are in everything.

Thanks so much for starting this thread.

Ali_TSO

I'd have to say that my confession was going grocery shopping every week and getting $20 cash back and hiding it from my husband so I could use it to stop and get my "secret first dinner" from McDonalds/Hardees every day on the way home from work. And then proceed to cook and eat my "second dinner" when I got home....... why do we do these things to ourselves???

raggedyanne5

I would make a double batch of brownies or some other homemade treat so there was one pan for the family to share and one whole pan for me. The family's dessert lasted for days and mine would be gone by morning.

Nikki_Gets_Fit

I had a moment like that yesterday, well sort of. I ate lunch on the way home from school, and then went and picked my daughter up and took her about 2 hours later out to eat for "lunch". Although I didn't have a big first lunch, it was still lunch. So I logged it in as dinner, and felt guilty and didn't eat dinner. Although, I wasn't too hungry after that anyways lol

lloydrt

pretending to order for 3...............when I d go to the Churchs Chicken I would say I need 3, 3 piece dinners and 3 drinks........

I d only drink one, toss the other 2, and still consume the other 2..........man, I havent thought about that sick action in one year and six months..............

Now I really wonder how I could handle eating greasy fried chicken , yeast rolls and fries, with LOTS of salt.....

good post, this helps me remember when................Ill never go back there again......not to that black hole..........again, great post.Lloyd

WhitneyW78

You described me to a T... except that on the way home from work, I'd stop at several fast food places, so they didn't think I was a pig ordering it all from the same place. Then, I'd park in a secluded parking lot, eat it all, and throw the evidence in a dumpster. After that, I'd air out the car from the fried smell and spray it and myself down with Febreeze.

Pathetic!

kelceyjean12011

i remember getting chinese take out and eating the whole portion of chicken and fried rice along with eggrolls and wontons...and then for dinner i'd eat 6 or 7 slices of pizza, a steak sub AND half a dozen of hot wings or more.... or i would secretly go to a drive thru and order a bunch or stuff and never tell anyone about it....

lisaidem

Favorite/worst meal: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, Large Fries, Diet Chemicals...err Coke, entire pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

I'm not prepared to say I'm out of the weeds yet, so I can't use past-tense.
My name is Lisa and I am a secret-car-in-a-dark-parking-lot-eater, a cake-evener-outer, a left-over thief, a perpetual over-portioner, a binge buyer, a sucker for seconds (and thirdsies)...

People who don't believe that food addiction is a real thing are insane. We are all describing behaviors of addicts. Food addicts that can't go cold turkey. MPFers are the ish!