There are no dumb Question? Or are there?
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When my husband worked at a pizza shop, he was asked if there was pork in the buffalo chicken pizza.0
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My sister-in-law worked as a cashier at a hospital.
A mother was paying up, having just had a baby girl.
My sister-in-law asked what the baby's name was and the mother said that the hospital named her. That the hospital named her. She heard "FAMALI".
When my siste-in-law asked her to spell it, the mother said "its on the pink bracelet they gave her "F-E-M-A-L-E".
:huh: I'm at a loss for words on this one.0 -
I work for a bank and monitor phone calls (Yes, those calls you make really are monitored for quality purposes). I just heard this on the call I was listening to.
Customer: "I'm trying to make a purchase online and the website I'm trying to buy something from is telling me that my security code is incorrect. Can you help me with this?"
Analyst: "Are you on the merchants website?" Ummm.....what other website would she be on? And yes, I pointed this out to the analyst in my feedback.
Before I started monitoring calls I used to work in the call center on the phones myself. One of the best ones I ever got was "I'm trying to make a purchase but I card is being declined. I know I'm over my limit. Is that why I can't use my card?" Ya think?
Or the parents who add their kid to their account and then ask
Customer: "can you call me every time my son/daughter wants to use the card so I can decide if I want to give them permission to use it?"
My response: "I'm sorry, but since we have no way of knowing if your son/daughter is about to use the card there isn't a way for us to call you before they use it."
Customer: "Why can't you tell if they are going to use the card?" hmmm...maybe because I can't read minds?0 -
This is no joke, I have a friend who was eating a bag of dried apricots and on the back of the bag it said "a product of Turkey," and she said, "Aren't apricots fruit? This says they are turkey." WOW!0
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:laugh:This is no joke, I have a friend who was eating a bag of dried apricots and on the back of the bag it said "a product of Turkey," and she said, "Aren't apricots fruit? This says they are turkey." WOW!0 -
#1.All time favorite. I was in the middle of getting, shall we say a "female" exam, when the Dr says, "You do know you have a weight problem don't you?" So I sat up and said, "OH no! When did that happen! I was a size four when I got here this morning!"
The Dr wasn't as amused as I was.
#2. My mom and I went past a house that had burned to the ground. She said to me, "Wonder what made that house burn down?" My response..."Fire".
#3. My boys are only 18 months apart and my youngest has always been taller. So, I am out with them in a stroller and a lady asked if they were twins. (We got that alot when they were little.) I said no, to which she replied, "Are you sure?"
Love this thread by the way!!!0 -
This is no joke, I have a friend who was eating a bag of dried apricots and on the back of the bag it said "a product of Turkey," and she said, "Aren't apricots fruit? This says they are turkey." WOW!
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My favorite!0 -
My sister used to work in billing for a Cell phone company. She once had a caller ask if she could pay with cash over the phone. :huh:0
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Dinner on Monday night.
Dad: Did you know that cobra snakes are actually revered in Indian culture and protected by law?
Me: At least we don't have those things here, I couldn't handle that.
Meag: Wait, are cobras venomous? Like what kinds of snakes are venomous?
Tad: Meag, no please...I can't do this right now.
Meag: No seriously...is the cobra venomous?
Tad: How are we even related?
Meag: Shut up Tad! I don't work with the snakes, I don't know all about the different kinds of snakes!
Tad: Meag, none of us "work" with the snakes, ok. Do any of us work for a zoo? No? Ok then.
Meag: Tad you're such a di*k. Like why should I know if a cobra is venomous if I don't work with the snakes.
The rest of us laughing and staring in disbelief. This happens about once a week. She's actually really smart, just not about snakes.0 -
i work at a courthouse, so we have a metal detector that customers have to go through at the front of the building...
the guards tell people "Empty your pockets, loose change, everything"
and this one guy says "I have to take out my coins? Since when are they made of metal?!
ummmmm......0 -
I worked at Subway in high school. I can't tell you how many times some one asked me how big a six inch was.
if the question came from a male, you should know that some of them don't realistically know what 6 inches looks like, some of them think 6 inches is actually 8 or 9....
:laugh:
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When I was a kid (maybe 2) my aunt was asking me all the standard "what sound does a ___ make?"
Her: What does a dog say?
Me: Woof woof
Her: What does a cat say?
Me: Meow meow
... several more...
(trying to throw me off) What does a lightning bug say?
Me: (pause for a few seconds)... Blink blink.
Her: (silence)
Also another good one... was maybe 7 and my mom always had us have our own "special" wrapping paper so we could find our gifts quickly. She asked me... "What kind of wrapping do you want on your gifts this year?"... My response, without pause... "Saran" ...0 -
I worked at Subway in high school. I can't tell you how many times some one asked me how big a six inch was.
if the question came from a male, you should know that some of them don't realistically know what 6 inches looks like, some of them think 6 inches is actually 8 or 9....
:laugh:
HAHAHAHA love it!0 -
Fantastic. This would have saved me so much trouble. I used to slice the tape on the wrapping paper with a knife, take a peek, and put fresh tape right over it. Unless you looked closely, you couldn't tell. My parents never knew."What kind of wrapping do you want on your gifts this year?"... My response, without pause... "Saran" ...0 -
i work at a courthouse, so we have a metal detector that customers have to go through at the front of the building...
the guards tell people "Empty your pockets, loose change, everything"
and this one guy says "I have to take out my coins? Since when are they made of metal?!
ummmmm......
Only in South Cakalakee...0 -
My favorite patient question:
Pt: Is that needle going to hurt?
Me: I should not feel a thing!!!0 -
I have been a surrogate mother and i get the weirdest question about that like... Did you sleep with the guy? Or if it´s twins... Can you keep one? the answer is no for both!!!!0
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I was at a friends house and her roommate was making sammies and asked it I wanted one:
Me: No thanks, I'm gluten intolerant, no wheat/flour.
Him: It's white bread, you'll be fine.
Me: hahahaha...wait, seriously?
Him: White bread isn't made with wheat flour.
Me: Than what is is made with?
Him: Regular flour. Shouldn't you know this?
Me: I...need to leave. Now.0 -
I was texting back and forth with a friend in Florida. (I'm in the Pacific NW). I texted that it was a beautiful full moon. He texted back, "Oh, is it a full moon there, too?"
My reply, "Yeah. We are on the same planet."0 -
I worked at Subway in high school. I can't tell you how many times some one asked me how big a six inch was.
if the question came from a male, you should know that some of them don't realistically know what 6 inches looks like, some of them think 6 inches is actually 8 or 9....
:laugh:
Hahaha....0 -
I was working at a grocery store, filling the milk box, with a gallon of milk in each hand and was asked "Where is the milk?"
I said I did not know as I was new and pointed, with the gallon of milk in my hand, to a fellow employee who might be able to help the customer. I was thanked for being helpful and the customer went off to talk to my fellow employee, while I went to the back cooler to LMAO for a bit.0 -
A few friends and I was in his yard, we saw a little girl on a bike crossing the intersection kinda fast and she got hit by a car (she was alright a few cuts and bruises). He ran inside, grabbed a phone, came back out and asked us "Whats the number to 911".0
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Every time my dad goes through a drive-thru he always yells into the speaker "and make sure that's TO-GO"....ummm....really dad? As much as we try to explain it to him that he doesn't need to specify...he always does, just in case.0
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When I was maybe 4 or 5 my mom was taking me to her work as we were approaching it
I said " Where are we going?"
she replied " Into the underground garage"
me totally freaked out" Your taking me to Hell !?"
Another genious moment of mine was again with my mom a few weeks ago she was reading a book
I asked " what'cha reading?"
she shows me the book called Constintine or something like that and
I asked " Is it in English"
she gave me the you have got to be kidding me look " How else could I be reading it?"0 -
Not food related, but these two happened at work. (I'm a car insurance claims adjuster)
"What's an intersection?"
and
"What's a windshield?"
YEAAAAAA INSURANCE!! Commercial Program Underwriter here! Too bad we can't exclude idiocy on our policies eh?
Ps: loving this thread!
High five fellow insurance folks!
I work for an insurance department for a Lender..
I love when people call in and say 'but I have full coverage insurance', ummm no - liability coverage is NOT full coverage...
Maybe you should READ those documents you are signing when you're all excited about that new car you can't afford to pay insurance on...
AMEN!
Thought of another lovely question: 90 year old man reporting his 3rd accident of the DAY: "Do you guys have accident forgiveness?" My co-worker's response to that when I told him: "When a person's age is over the maximum speed limit in the state, they should revoke their license." LOL
Then I though of a great one from when I worked as a pharmacy tech:
Woman: "Is it ok if I use the birth control pills on different days than they are named?"
Me: "What do you mean exactly?"
Woman: "I've been taking one every time I have sex, but sometimes I have sex more than once a day and I've ran out of Friday and Saturday pills. Can I take the Monday or Tuesday ones on Fridays and Saturdays when I need them?" (She hands me a birth control pill package with random pills popped out)
Me: *in shock* * "Let me get you a pharmacist...."0 -
I worked at Subway in high school. I can't tell you how many times some one asked me how big a six inch was.
if the question came from a male, you should know that some of them don't realistically know what 6 inches looks like, some of them think 6 inches is actually 8 or 9....
:laugh:
Fantastic!...lol0 -
This was an email I got last night, so not sure if this really happened but totally hilarious :flowerforyou:
MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's *kitten* and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day!0 -
bumping so i can read more later! this thread is killing me!!!!!0
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Then I though of a great one from when I worked as a pharmacy tech:
Woman: "Is it ok if I use the birth control pills on different days than they are named?"
Me: "What do you mean exactly?"
Woman: "I've been taking one every time I have sex, but sometimes I have sex more than once a day and I've ran out of Friday and Saturday pills. Can I take the Monday or Tuesday ones on Fridays and Saturdays when I need them?" (She hands me a birth control pill package with random pills popped out)
Me: *in shock* * "Let me get you a pharmacist...."
OMG!! That is HILARIOUS! I would have died trying not to laugh before I could walk away. :laugh:0 -
Working in a liquor store, I was once asked, "What do I need for Gin and Tonics?"
:laugh: :laugh: I don't even drink but I think even I can figure that one out. :laugh: :laugh:0
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