please do not call me SKINNY...

bry_all01

So our prior experience in life affects how we hear and accept what is said.
A person who has been overweight for all or even a portion of their lives would usually take being called "skinny" as a compliment.
On the other hand, the person who has been underweight for all or a portion of their lives usually takes that as an insult.
Either way, it's personal.

The bigger and more relevant question is: How did the speaker intend for his/her words to be taken?
That too varies, right? If the speaker has prior knowledge of your efforts to gain (or lose) weight, he/she would likely be sensitive to how the hearer would react to the word "skinny", and not use (or use) the word.
If the speaker has little or no prior knowledge of you and your life, he/she may still use the word, likely intending it as a compliment (or insult), depending on the goal of the speaker.

That person may be somewhat flippant in the use of the word, but likely no malice was intended, unless the person is intending to make an insult, which is also pretty clear.

We benefit ourselves when we take into account the motives of the speaker, and not take it personally.

I am going to take a stab in the dark and say that I appear ill and need to have a sandwich shoved down my throat. How would you take that?

That's pretty clearly an insult. What was that person's motive for insulting you?

there was definitely more than 1 person that said that and asked if I was on drugs, etc. And everytime I was called skinny, it was not in a positive way, so now it stuck as a negative, offensive conotation for me.

taso42_DELETED

Oh, stop whining you skinny b*tch

:flowerforyou: I love you more than I love lamp :smooched:

i googled lamp to see what i means to normal people, but i forgot the meaning. to me it will always mean :linux apache mysql and php".

bry_all01

Oh, stop whining you skinny b*tch

:flowerforyou: I love you more than I love lamp :smooched:

wow, and lamp is REALLY loved... I fel so speshal. :blushing:

bry_all01

Oh, stop whining you skinny b*tch

:flowerforyou: I love you more than I love lamp :smooched:

i googled lamp to see what i means to normal people, but i forgot the meaning. to me it will always mean :linux apache mysql and php".

ohhhhh, I thought it meant stripper pole... hmm.

solpwr

And Bry, just to be real clear, I like you. I see you in my newsfeed, and on this forum, and agree with what I've read what you've had to say.

I also think you are awesome to look at. Just sayin.

I wrote what I did to flesh out the conversation. That's what I do. I don't personally feel like I'm adding much by saying: "I agree with everything you say, great post!" I say that at times, but only if I feel that way and the OP was a lone voice in the wilderness.

Sarahbara76

OMG!! That's just wrong!! If somebody asked if I was on drugs when I was anorexic I would have been really hurt! *hug* Still say they are crazy and your perfect beautiful lady ;-)
HATERS GOTTA HATE,Let them ,it means your awesome and they are jealous

Jennyisbusy

I never thought of it as a negative word - my family used to call me SkinnyJenny.. But after looking it up in the dictionary I am not thrilled. Thanks for the education.

juscallmeb

oh go eat some pb&J that'll make you feel better and you're not skinny at ALL, so i don't know what you're talking about.



ps: I'm B and i approve this message.
pss: i heart you and your toned buns and thighs. *Lunges & Squats all day*

thanks B! One of the reasons you are one of my faves. :smooched:

:blushes: want to jump through the computer screen and give you a hug!

bry_all01

And Bry, just to be real clear, I like you. I see you in my newsfeed, and on this forum, and agree with what I've read what you've had to say.

I also think you are awesome to look at. Just sayin.

I wrote what I did to flesh out the conversation. That's what I do. I don't personally feel like I'm adding much by saying: "I agree with everything you say, great post!" I say that at times, but only if I feel that way and the OP was a lone voice in the wilderness.

I honestly love that you play devil's advocate. There are plenty of good people in the world, and in my opinion, I believe that people are genuinely good. Had I not associated the word skinny with force feeding or drugs, etc. I would not think much of it, but since I had such a bad time with it, it just stuck for me. And, thank you!

Shanna_Inc86

Growing up I never had a problem gaining weight....well, hell I still have no problem gaining weight and I always wanted to be called skinny. However, NOW I recently had a friend (who happens to be overweight) refer to me as skinny. I didn't like it. I don't wanna be skinny, I wanna be lean, toned, trim...I want defined abs

My mom said it perfectly the other day.... "You don't look skinny, you look comfortably thin; confident & healthy"
I LOVE my mom so much for that!

You look great and I think its awesome you were able to achieve the goals you wanted. I have a friend who tries so hard to gain weight and she hates having no figure.

glockster972

I read every post in this thread. The one common thing I found was how people are concerned with "how they look". I get that this is a fitness site to help all of us improve our outer beauty. But what I didn't see any of was how beautiful people are on the inside. I know I'm over weight, very much so. However, if a person does not have inner beauty, they will NEVER have outer beauty.

Now I know some of you will think oh great here is another SD idiot post. I could care less what you think. People have feelings and rather than looking at how hot a girl or guy is, why don't we take some time to get to know the person before making a skinny or fat comment.

I'm Glockster and I APPROVED this message. Like or not!

P.S. Bry is beautiful!

bry_all01

I read every post in this thread. The one common thing I found was how people are concerned with "how they look". I get that this is a fitness site to help all of us improve our outer beauty. But what I didn't see any of was how beautiful people are on the inside. I know I'm over weight, very much so. However, if a person does not have inner beauty, they will NEVER have outer beauty.

Now I know some of you will think oh great here is another SD idiot post. I could care less what you think. People have feelings and rather than looking at how hot a girl or guy is, why don't we take some time to get to know the person before making a skinny or fat comment.

I'm Glockster and I APPROVED this message. Like or not!

P.S. Bry is beautiful!

aw, thank you very much.

solpwr

I read every post in this thread. The one common thing I found was how people are concerned with "how they look". I get that this is a fitness site to help all of us improve our outer beauty. But what I didn't see any of was how beautiful people are on the inside. I know I'm over weight, very much so. However, if a person does not have inner beauty, they will NEVER have outer beauty.

Now I know some of you will think oh great here is another SD idiot post. I could care less what you think. People have feelings and rather than looking at how hot a girl or guy is, why don't we take some time to get to know the person before making a skinny or fat comment.

I'm Glockster and I APPROVED this message. Like or not!

P.S. Bry is beautiful!

Hold it... So you are telling me that if a person is ugly on the inside that it is impossible for them to be beautiful on the outside?

I disagree. Ever heard of the saying "Beauty is only skin deep"?

I think you are trying to make a valid point, that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. And that inner beauty has nothing to do with "looks". And a person who may appear "ugly" on the outside can be "beautiful" on the inside (which has nothing to do with a visual aesthetic or "looks").

But pleasing looks are just that... pleasing. This is totally different and separate from a pleasing personality and disposition, or "inner beauty".

glockster972

I read every post in this thread. The one common thing I found was how people are concerned with "how they look". I get that this is a fitness site to help all of us improve our outer beauty. But what I didn't see any of was how beautiful people are on the inside. I know I'm over weight, very much so. However, if a person does not have inner beauty, they will NEVER have outer beauty.

Now I know some of you will think oh great here is another SD idiot post. I could care less what you think. People have feelings and rather than looking at how hot a girl or guy is, why don't we take some time to get to know the person before making a skinny or fat comment.

I'm Glockster and I APPROVED this message. Like or not!

P.S. Bry is beautiful!

Hold it... So you are telling me that if a person is ugly on the inside that it is impossible for them to be beautiful on the outside?

I disagree. Ever heard of the saying "Beauty is only skin deep"?

I think you are trying to make a valid point, that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. And that inner beauty has nothing to do with "looks". And a person who may appear "ugly" on the outside can be "beautiful" on the inside (which has nothing to do with a visual aesthetic or "looks").

But pleasing looks are just that... pleasing. This is totally different and separate from a pleasing personality and disposition, or "inner beauty".

I guess you didn't read the part about me not caring what you thought. So let me say it again. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MY POST. I feel the way I do and that's that.

brittanyjeanxo

I read every post in this thread. The one common thing I found was how people are concerned with "how they look". I get that this is a fitness site to help all of us improve our outer beauty. But what I didn't see any of was how beautiful people are on the inside. I know I'm over weight, very much so. However, if a person does not have inner beauty, they will NEVER have outer beauty.

Now I know some of you will think oh great here is another SD idiot post. I could care less what you think. People have feelings and rather than looking at how hot a girl or guy is, why don't we take some time to get to know the person before making a skinny or fat comment.

I'm Glockster and I APPROVED this message. Like or not!

P.S. Bry is beautiful!

Hold it... So you are telling me that if a person is ugly on the inside that it is impossible for them to be beautiful on the outside?

I disagree. Ever heard of the saying "Beauty is only skin deep"?

I think you are trying to make a valid point, that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. And that inner beauty has nothing to do with "looks". And a person who may appear "ugly" on the outside can be "beautiful" on the inside (which has nothing to do with a visual aesthetic or "looks").

But pleasing looks are just that... pleasing. This is totally different and separate from a pleasing personality and disposition, or "inner beauty".

Hasn't there ever been anyone where at first, they're striking, but you get to know them and don't find them so attractive anymore? Maybe it's just me but I kind of feel the same way. There have been so many guys that at first are really attractive, but once I realize what kind of person they are become so much less attractive, if at all in my eyes.

sarad777

I got tired of people saying "you look so skinny" that I started eating more food. Now I'm gaining and feel bad!!