How to talk to guys!?

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Replies

  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    Ur oblivious.

    If an ugly fat guy came up to u - is he fair game then?

    Just because I am not attracted to someone doesn't mean they are above or below me. And if he was especially nice, funny, or charming then he might just have a chance. Just because you're shallow doesn't mean everyone else is!
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    Ur oblivious.

    If an ugly fat guy came up to u - is he fair game then?

    And I'm far from oblivious, thank you.
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
    I was in a year and a half relationship that ended and after that talking to new men made me nervous too. You just have to realize that you are beautiful and amazing. If you take a step back one day and see how nervous YOU actually make THEM then you will see that you have nothing to be afraid of. Just talk to them like you would one of your girlfriends. The worst thing that could happen is you say something embarrassing and if that happens so what? You'll be over it and on to the next one in 15 minutes. Its one of those things you just have to do, it may feel awkward and terrifying at first but after a while it will come natural and like I said then you will just smile and bat your eyelashes and they will be fighting each other to get the chance to talk to you.
  • rhiannagreene
    rhiannagreene Posts: 14
    If you dont attract a guy just being your self, you dont want him.. you shouldnt have to "try"
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
    Ladders seem kind of mean...
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    If you dont attract a guy just being your self, you dont want him.. you shouldnt have to "try"

    That's not what I mean- I am nervous because I haven't had to attract a guy in almost three years. And now all the sudden I have to do the whole 'courting' thing again and it's just- ugh. It's just hard
  • rhiannagreene
    rhiannagreene Posts: 14
    I hate this "above and below someone" crap.
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    Ladders seem kind of mean...

    He doesn't understand, and neither does the 'ladder system', that not everyone is shallow. I would, and have, dated guys that going by that system would be considered 'below' me.
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    I hate this "above and below someone" crap.

    me too! fhdaskfljhjlkadshfkladsh
  • rhiannagreene
    rhiannagreene Posts: 14
    I as in a 5year relationship had no idea how to be in one after that! haha So i get what you mean!
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
    Yeah, starting new with someone SUCKS because you have to start getting comfortable with them again
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    If you dont attract a guy just being your self, you dont want him.. you shouldnt have to "try"

    That's not what I mean- I am nervous because I haven't had to attract a guy in almost three years. And now all the sudden I have to do the whole 'courting' thing again and it's just- ugh. It's just hard

    The easiest thing is you don't have to try to attract anyone. Wanna know why? Because you can just be yourself and that will attract them to you. That simple. I swear. I'm giving you gems here for advice.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,042 Member
    So I just realized that being in a relationship for three years has made me completely HOPELESS at attracting and speaking to men.

    So I really need some help on this, because at some point in my life I'm probably going to want to talk to guy. Maybe.

    I really don't want to wait around for guys to talk to me, you know? I want to be able to take the initiative too!
    Don't hunch. Look them in the eyes. Smile and be yourself.

    And don't talk about your ex boyfriend.
  • rhiannagreene
    rhiannagreene Posts: 14
    Ha! yes dont talk about the ex!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,042 Member
    Meh. I wouldn't sweat it. It's not like most of them will be listening anyway. :tongue:
    Someone say something?
  • rhiannagreene
    rhiannagreene Posts: 14
    Sorry did you say somthing? I was looking at your breasts.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,042 Member
    Okay, think of "puppy faces" on top of the bodies.
  • I_give_it_2_u_str8
    I_give_it_2_u_str8 Posts: 680 Member
    Haha u think ur above the system u are going to get used and abused by guys who game girls like u
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    As soon as you realize being scared of them is pointless, you'll be fine. I get more attention when I'm too busy to give a *kitten* about talking to guys.
  • I_give_it_2_u_str8
    I_give_it_2_u_str8 Posts: 680 Member
    I'm half reading this stupid nonsense btw so I haven't caught u being contradictory.

    U say ur not shallow? Than why care about talking
    To attractive guys?
  • Penguinita
    Penguinita Posts: 159 Member
    Just act as you would any other friend, would be my advice. I also feel the way you do when talking to someone I'm attracted to. Though you heart is racing and you seem to feel everything 100x better (cool breeze, warm air, bass) try to keep calm. If something goes wrong, remember you are YOUNG (at least that's what I've been told when I asked a similar question).

    Yes I'm not even commenting on that ladder crap, oh I guess I did :)
  • BellySoonGone
    BellySoonGone Posts: 150
    Meh. I wouldn't sweat it. It's not like most of them will be listening anyway. :tongue:

    not when you put that picture up.. http://photos.myfitnesspalllc.netdna-cdn.com/images/photos/787/655/3787655_8342_thumb.jpg
  • jp09m
    jp09m Posts: 89
    talk to us by ignoring us. personally i dont want a girl whose throwing herself at me. i like to work for what i want. play hard to get and youll have us chasing after u
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
    Learn about magic, sports, guns, cars, video games or anything else guys are interested in. If a female knows anything about what guys like she's cool however, if a guy knows anything about what women like he is gay!!! Guys dont care about Shoes, make up, shopping, cosmo, or any of that chick stuff.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    i know this feeling. i was in a relationship for nearly 3 years and my ex was extremely paranoid and possessive :/

    Now my social skills aren't that great. I've always had social anxiety, but i had overcome it when I met my ex. :/

    What helped me last time was moving to another country, so I am doing that again. I know this isn't possible for some, and some probably wouldn't want to make such a drastic change, but I think even if you are awkward guys will still like u ^.^

    Even when i have been very awkward, I've had guys approach me. ^.^ So...you look like a pretty girl, so um...i think even if u r very awkward u will have no problems getting guys attention :)
  • Andythefitfamilyman
    Andythefitfamilyman Posts: 420
    Just tell them you make really good sammichs
    ^^ this
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    It's easy, just talk to them! I find it easier to talk to men than to women, yeah strange. But then again, I only look for friendship and nothing else so maybe that is why it is not hard.

    A lot of people offered good points!
  • Jeepinmom4
    Jeepinmom4 Posts: 298 Member
    Wow I have just the opposite problem...talking to women freaks me out...men are easy to talk to cuz you can totally be yourself and there's no judgment(usually),just walk up and say hi that's usually all it takes lol gl hun.
  • Jeepinmom4
    Jeepinmom4 Posts: 298 Member
    Just tell them you make really good sammichs
    ^^ this
    3 words of advice.....five..dollar..footlong....that is all lol
  • zeeeb
    zeeeb Posts: 805 Member
    i reckon you just have to practice. make an effort to ask 10 men a question every day (and they don't have to be men that you want to attract, just men in general, i guess it won't hurt if they are hot, give you something decent to look at). Don't talk to them with vision to picking them up, just talk for the sakes of talking, and you never know what interesting people you might meet.

    doesn't matter how dumb the question is, can be as simple as "do you have the time" or "do you know where something is" or "can you tell me how to get somewhere". eventually you'll find some that will engage in conversation and you will become used to it. you'll desensitise yourself to how scary it was and it will just become more natural.
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