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I would print out screen shots of her posts on fb and bring them to the judge shes working with. Seriously.
Very good idea!! This Girl doesnt deserve her kids! She needs her rights takin away until she is fit to be a parent. The children R the main focus, they need a voice.0 -
Here is the convo I had with her last night, Started off trying to be nice. La Nisha is the girl in question, Alton is the bf.
.La Nisha
If u dnt agree wit wat i do in my life and wit it one word delete! Stp worryin bout it
LikeUnlike · · 16 hours ago via mobile · Privacy:Shared with: La Nisha's friends.
Kylee Gomez I think ppl are just trying to give you help, advice, words of wisdom etc. in your current situation you don't need another child Nisha. I can't even imagine having 3 or 4 kids in this economy. They only get more expensive as they grow! If you are pregnant now, by law, you have to have at least a 3 bedroom home for them, which means higher rent. I don't think your thinking about the long term effects of having another baby Nisha.
16 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Dara I love you Nisha and I'm here for you! Your doin everything you can to better yourself!
I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK!
16 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Alton **** em we dnt need ne ones approval well have a whole ****ing football team if we want we gna do us n **** yall who dnt like it its our lifes not yalls I'm tired of hearing we shouldn't do this n that we gna do us it that's that we gt this dnt worry bout us know ur tryn to b "nice" but it aint its ****d up so if u aint gt somethan positive to say den keep it to ur self plz and thank u
16 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Dara Alton you know I support you guys as much as I can. I love you both. You both have jobs and trying to reach the goal of bettering yourselves. I'm proud of both of you!
16 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
La Nisha Thank ya dara. @ kylee at this ponit u no i hate the expression "in your situation" noone really knows wats going om everyone looks at the negative in what i say im happy my kids r happy so thats all that matters ya no1 likes it bt i no we kan do it
16 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Alton And I appericate that dara I really do at least we got some one that supports us and it helps a lot a lot so thanks a lot
16 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Dara Of course. Nisha is like my little sister! and those babies are everything too!! Even if you add 1 or more to the Kirkland clan its good. Its your choice if you want 4 kids or 10 kids. just makes you better yourself each time
16 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Kylee Gomez Your attitude cleary doesn't show your ready for more children, you wanna talk nasty, i'll get nasty. You both need to grow up and face reality. You shouldn't be bringing more innocent children into the world in your current situation. Its wrong, and very selfish. The way you guys are living now, is that how you want your kids to live? Think about it. If you were smart, and truley had a heart, you'd know that this isn't what you guys need right now.
16 hours ago · LikeUnlike ·
Alton And that's what were doing our best at is improven our self were doing everythan we kan to better our self n our kids life thanx for understandin
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
La Nisha Hahah the kirkland clan u made me laugh love ya d
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike
.Alton Well I dnt kno u n u dnt kno me or our situation so dnt speek on it that's all I gtta say we dnt need no negative **** in our life so lyke I askd if its negative then keep it to ur self
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Kylee Gomez Ya but I know Nisha and have for a long time. And its not negative, its the truth. And yes I know your situation since its broadcasted on FB daily.
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike ·
La Nisha O wooow cruel but u dont know anything thats going on obviously i love my kids n if ur the type that wuld give up a child then thats nt rite at all wat i do is for me n my kids and id rather struggle than ta be a murderer
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Dara Ky its there decision if they want more kids. Their " current" situation is getting better. I would know. i check up on them as much as i can. Nisha is my sister and what happened in the past is on them but they are trying to make their lifes better so they can give their children better lives as well. they are working on them first befroe they can have their kids back and right now they are doin pretty damn good and they did get jobs and they are trying. They dont have an easy life. Stuff is not handed to them they have to work for it themselves cuz clearly not a lot of their family is not supportive.
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
La Nisha Thanks d and im done wit this convo harsh words mite cry
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Dara LOVE YOU BOO! and Alton too!
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Alton It aint the truth you and who ever else fabracate **** jus dnt say **** I've always been tld misery loves company n u must b miserable to try n bring ppl dwn that r tryn to make somethin otta der life and it aint broadcasted for ppl to slander its broadcasted to xpress and get **** off tha chest
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
La Nisha Kk ill call you or txt ya in a lil nt feelin to happy rite nw
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Alton We love you too and thanx so much
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Kylee Gomez I understand that, I'm not saying give your child up or have an abortion nisha. I'm just saying you should have been careful. Your right it is their decision, but another baby is only going to add to the pile of stress I'm sure their battling with now. What's done is done, if your pregnant your pregnant. I'm just saying I hope in the future you stop and think things through. Raising kids isn't easy, so I couldn't imagine going through what they are, with 4 small children.
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike ·
Nikki I know we arent good friends and I don't know your whole situation. However I really want to say something and since you're posting it on fb I think I can. First when Kylee uses "your situation" I completely agree, you are on here all the time saying how you don't have money, your in jail, your kids are taken away, your boyfriend is talking to others girls and so on. So Everyone's opinion is based off of what you are projecting to the fb world. Second idk if you know or not but I just lost my little boy July 8th. I have waited four years till my husband and i were ready for another child and I lost him. You have what a woman in my position would literally die for and I honestly think you take it for granite. I'm happy to see you guys have jobs and are trying to get your lives back on track but you can not honestly say you have money to support four children. You probably have to rely on government programs to help you out. Which there is nothing wrong with that and thank God we are lucky enough to have those resources but you shouldnt keep having children that tax payers are supporting. All in all I hope the best for you guys and pray you can make it work however, I think it is plan selfish and irresponsible that you didn't use the right protection to prevent another pregnancy you can't afford. Again sorry if I have said too much but if you dont want opinions don't post it on fb.
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Alton Yea u have said too much and like I jus said it aint for u to talk **** bout and aint been on a gov program in at least 6months been doing it witout all that **** so plz jus shut the **** UP n STOP SAYN NEGATIVE ****
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Dara Take your time Nisha =]
La Nisha Well guys idc and u lost a child rite so y wuld i kill one n no i wasnt working and that was my first time arrested i love my kids and i dont need government help to raise my kids and im happy i really dont care wat anyone has to say wat happened was unfortunate for u and us but we r trying damn hatd and ill have our kids this coming month i juat think what i put on here is for me not for anyone else but anywho at least i work for my money instead of relying on other ppl dnt no wat else to say but to dara thanks loce at least u say wat u say and arnt hurtful but thats y weve been sistas since elementary school muuaahhzZ
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Alton I'm bout ready to snap and o u gna hold that against us bc we sum real *kitten* motha ****as **** the fake yall kan kiss my whole *kitten* I'm tired of the bull**** its for tha birds
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Kylee Gomez Nobody told you to kill it nisha. Keep the child, I just hope you can raise them in the best way possible so they grow to their full potential. Good luck with your life.
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Dara Alton sloooow the roll lol.. no need to get all worked up k. its about you nisha the kids and little peanut in the tummy. Dont worry about anyone else. just keep working hard on everything
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
La Nisha Wat she said lol
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Alton I'm am dara I aint worried bout ne body I've gt to the point were they aint one dat kan take me off my hourse
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Allyson I just want to tell you that you shouldn't worry about what other people think. Yes times are tough and it's hard raising and providing for children, but at least the both of you have jobs and aren't just sitting on your *kitten* doing nothing. As far as you going to jail and not having your kids, people make mistakes and for others to criticize your ability as a mother is low on their part. Just keep your head up and keep doing what your doing. It's your life, do what you want with it!! If people don't like it they can suck it easy. All you need is you, your hubby and your babies.
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
La Nisha Thanks allyson u shuld msg me ur number. Did u get that job?
15 hours ago · LikeUnlike.
Jennifer Whether the baby is planned, or unplanned
Whether the mother is single or married,
Whether the child is early or ten years late,
Whether the baby is adopted or has specil needs,
EVERY BABY IS A MIRACLE!!
I heard this and reading all these negative comments made me think of you and your family. Congratson your soon to be baby and good luck.
14 hours ago · LikeUnlike.0 -
No offense to anyone, but I'm still trying to get past her being 20 years old with 3 kids and another on the way. :frown:0
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Call DSS, now. Report you beleive she is still using.0
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No offense to anyone, but I'm still trying to get past her being 20 years old with 3 kids and another on the way. :frown:
My feelings exactly. I had my kids young as well (17 and 19) but I knew when to quit. And my second wasn't until I was married and had stable finances.0 -
I've called social services and got the voicemail of her actual caseworker. Left a message and praying he calls back. If not, I will call again.0
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this is a good idea!Its not about you or her, its about her kids.
Get a print of her Facebook rants and fax it to the judge. She never needs to know any of that.
Id like to add that if we can spay animals so others dont have to take care of unwanted babys why can't we do it to dumb ppl that don't deserve MORE kids! Ugh!0 -
Holy crap...the way that woman and her bf type ALONE is enough to say that they shouldn't have kids.
I'm not even joking.0 -
I agree with you she has no business being in custody of those children. I would make a cop of the FB posts and send them to the court that is in charge of the custody issue. You are not doing this to be mean you are doing it to protect the children. She in the past as well as now has not shown that she has the matuity to handle being a parent. I would not feel guilty at all in turning her in. The children deserve to have a mother that cares for them the way they should be. Please send in the FB copies to the right authorities, these childrens lives may be at risk!
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As a caseworker myself I beg u to please contact her current caseworker and if u can not reach them contact the supervisor. These children deserve someone who is going to love them and care for them and if their parents need more help the state provides those services Please don't hesitate on calling them back.0
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This is definitely a heavy thing to have on your mind. I feel your compassion for these kids and for your friend, however, this is something that's very touchy and very hard to assess from the outside looking in. You've considered a LOT of great factors. You've noticed conversations she's had with others (Facebook) and you have a good feel for her natural demeanor, however...and at first glance, this may not sound like what you want to hear, but more factors need to be considered before bringing social services into the picture. I'm a qualified mental health professional, I have a masters in rehab psychology (undergrad in psychology) and I've counseled families for years in these types of crises situation...social serves aren't always the most knowledgeable bunch. There are GREAT ones out there, but nowadays, you have many that are purely textbook. On the surface, in reading your post, anyone would say "REPORT IT!" and you know what, I had that thought too. Then I thought about those kids. Kids are amazingly loyal. Are they better off with the mom or without. And I'm talking about the mom as a "mom", not the mom as a jealous girlfriend, or the mom as a lazy girl or however else others may feel about her. How does SHE relate to her kids? I have 2 kids myself. They are challenging, I'll admit. I've called my kids brats before, but they're my brats and there's nothing I wouldn't do to protect them from harm.
Things to consider:
What are her reasons for wanting her kids back?
What resources does she have to kick her habits (very hard habits to kick, but not impossible)?
Would there be a man involved in the situation and is HE trustworthy?
Do the kids WANT to be with their mother?
My advice: don't go to social services. Instead, contact a community services board or a local family therapy practice. Get the family help first as a unit to see if they can make it work. They can get her the help she needs and the kids as well. they need to be rehab-ed as a family, not separately. When social services get in the picture, it's hard as heck to get them out, and they can come in an cause undue harm just form not truly understanding the situation. The only way to understand the situation is to have a therapist spend as much time with the family as s/he can (which is what I used to do. I spent 2-10 hours with each of my families, 2-3x a week...that's a lot of intensive care, lol. But that's what they needed...and they succeeded).
I know this is heavy...this is SO heavy. I wish you all the very best!
Very sensible suggestions. I had similar thoughts on many of your points.0 -
as a grandmother raising her grandchild because the mother is too busy "living her life" I say....
PLEASE walk away from the "friendship" and intervene on the behalf of these children!!!
This woman should be sterilized and now allowed to have more children. I made sure my daughter had a 5 year IUD after she gave birth to the one I am raising because she doesn't care about anyone but herself and that is questionable at best.
No child deserves a mother like that.
good luck to you0 -
This is just so heartbreaking...
Do whatever you can to help and protect those kids.
I don't understand, I just don't.0 -
:flowerforyou: Honestly you are doing the right thing!!
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I think I would call CPS or leave a note or something. However, keep in mind that just because these children go into foster homes does not always mean they will be treated the way they deserve.0
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Any update on what's happening?0
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I would of screen shotted her wall posts and take them to the Social Services.
On an upside...she is talking about detoxing.....so maybe she is trying to change?0 -
This is definitely a heavy thing to have on your mind. I feel your compassion for these kids and for your friend, however, this is something that's very touchy and very hard to assess from the outside looking in. You've considered a LOT of great factors. You've noticed conversations she's had with others (Facebook) and you have a good feel for her natural demeanor, however...and at first glance, this may not sound like what you want to hear, but more factors need to be considered before bringing social services into the picture. I'm a qualified mental health professional, I have a masters in rehab psychology (undergrad in psychology) and I've counseled families for years in these types of crises situation...social serves aren't always the most knowledgeable bunch. There are GREAT ones out there, but nowadays, you have many that are purely textbook. On the surface, in reading your post, anyone would say "REPORT IT!" and you know what, I had that thought too. Then I thought about those kids. Kids are amazingly loyal. Are they better off with the mom or without. And I'm talking about the mom as a "mom", not the mom as a jealous girlfriend, or the mom as a lazy girl or however else others may feel about her. How does SHE relate to her kids? I have 2 kids myself. They are challenging, I'll admit. I've called my kids brats before, but they're my brats and there's nothing I wouldn't do to protect them from harm.
Things to consider:
What are her reasons for wanting her kids back?
What resources does she have to kick her habits (very hard habits to kick, but not impossible)?
Would there be a man involved in the situation and is HE trustworthy?
Do the kids WANT to be with their mother?
My advice: don't go to social services. Instead, contact a community services board or a local family therapy practice. Get the family help first as a unit to see if they can make it work. They can get her the help she needs and the kids as well. they need to be rehab-ed as a family, not separately. When social services get in the picture, it's hard as heck to get them out, and they can come in an cause undue harm just form not truly understanding the situation. The only way to understand the situation is to have a therapist spend as much time with the family as s/he can (which is what I used to do. I spent 2-10 hours with each of my families, 2-3x a week...that's a lot of intensive care, lol. But that's what they needed...and they succeeded).
I know this is heavy...this is SO heavy. I wish you all the very best!
Absolutely the best answer! Thank you! :flowerforyou:0 -
Update- Her case worker contacted me today, and I told him what I know. I also sent him an email containing the conversations i've had with her on Facebook. He told me he had already suspected that her and the boyfriend were "fudging" their UA's anyways. He asked me if I would be ok with being a witness in court when the time comes, and i've agreed. At this point in time, the friendship is gone. I can't be friends with someone who treats their children like this. I'm hoping in the end, after everything is said and done, she will thank me for saving her childrens lives (and possibly hers!). I will continue to update as I can.0
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It's great you are willing to do this, too bad these kids couldn't have their mom taking this all more seriously.,Update- Her case worker contacted me today, and I told him what I know. I also sent him an email containing the conversations i've had with her on Facebook. He told me he had already suspected that her and the boyfriend were "fudging" their UA's anyways. He asked me if I would be ok with being a witness in court when the time comes, and i've agreed. At this point in time, the friendship is gone. I can't be friends with someone who treats their children like this. I'm hoping in the end, after everything is said and done, she will thank me for saving her childrens lives (and possibly hers!). I will continue to update as I can.0
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