PET PEEVE ALERT "Include message in friend request" EXCUSE M

dmpizza

This is just a pet peeve of mine.
While reading people's posts, you often see profile pics of very attractive ladies.
and if you're like me, you click on the name to see the profile.
I DO NOT WANT TO FRIEND THESE PEOPLE, but I hate it when up front they ASSUME you do and post;
"I no longer accept friend requests, or
" please include a message as to WHY you should be my friend"

You know what honey, you ain't all that.

whatwentwrong

where else are they supposed to tell you they don't accept random adds?

fat2fab4life

I understand both parts to this. I can understand not wanting anymore friend requests but I do think it's odd when people say they want a message on why you are adding them.. duh for support!!!

aj_rock

There's a fair share of creepy dudes on MFP bro, just like any community. I think it's perfectly reasonable if anyone happens to have problems with random creepy adds.

Not always the case, but you really can't just assume.

maryd523

where else are they supposed to tell you they don't accept random adds?

Well, an easy way would be for them to just ignore the request.

calibri

+1 to the puppet

I remember I sent this guy a PM on a gaming forum and he was all 'Sorry, but I have a girlfriend'. Good for you, dude. Chicks can't talk to you without falling victim to your enchanting FFT screenname? Knob.

adventuring

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess those girls post those because they were getting random friends requests to begin with, not out of a completely random notion that their *kitten* are just that hot.

Contrarian

Many people on this site prefer a message with a friend request. Male, female, hot and not.

whatwentwrong

idk, i think ignoring a request is more ****ish than putting a note, but everyone feels different i guess

TopazCarey

I understand both parts to this. I can understand not wanting anymore friend requests but I do think it's odd when people say they want a message on why you are adding them.. duh for support!!!

This.

acasey0123

my profile says that if you want to be my friend to send me a message with your friend request... i wanna know why youre friending me because if its like a team member in my group like my september challenge group or im also in the MFP biggest loser, or if they saw a post that I did and they liked it , or if they want to be my friend just because....because in my friend list I have different friends for different reasons and personally I wanna know the reasons

4N6junkie

I don't necessarily want a bunch of random adds and would prefer if someone left me a little note as to why they want to be my friend.. there is usually a reason so it's nice to share! Like "hey your inspiring! be my friend" "hey we seem to have similar goals lets work together!" or whatever. I don't demand it in so many words but I don't just randomly friend people either. If I saw someone i wanted to friend on a forum, I'd say "hey been following you in the forums, you seem cool!" or something. I don't make a note of it on my profile but I do prefer a note with requests and am more likely to accept the request if there is one. That's all

maryd523

Well, if someone is just randomly friending a person without a reason, they probably won't be too hurt that it's not accepted. At least I hope so.

MissingMinnesota

I just put it up as I just cleared out some of my friends and I am trying to get back into things so for right now I just want to keep the friends I have and not accept any others. This has nothing to do with thinking I am attractive or anything especially since I get more request from girls then guys.

Aeriel

I appreciate a note with a friend request. It is just polite. I don't know if people found me through a post I wrote, a mutual friend or just randomly. It doesn't have to be much, just a few words. I always send a note when I friend someone. And even if I refuse a friends request, I usually write back and say why I am not accepting (in most cases).

Carl01

ajbeans

I used to have that on my profile because I don't have any interest in being collected by friend collectors. If you're adding me because you read my blog, or we have similar goals, or you like the shoes in my profile picture, or whatever, awesome! Let me know that. But if you just went down the list of a thread adding everyone you saw because you want to beef up your friend list, no thanks. I eventually took it off my profile because it appeared that nobody was reading it anyway, so now I just deny the ones with no message and I don't feel bad about it. But just because you see that message on someone's profile doesn't mean they're conceited. It just means they're sick of getting tons of random friend requests that seem to be out of the blue.

koosdel

I'm too young to hold this office.

starpi22

I'm not all that, I have never been all that, but I do have "please send me a message with friends request." The reason is this; Like Facebook some people on here like to add as many people as possible to make their friends count look nice and fat. They add you and never talk to you again... I'm not looking for that, if you want my friendship you are going to get a real friend, I am going to message you, talk to you, and support you. This can be very time consuming, so I like to keep my group small and I like to get to know each ones name and goals. It also helps me identify with those with similar issues like diabetes or thyroid disease.

robin52077

Because I used to accept all requests and then I got a message from a "friend" saying he wanted to "jump my bones". ummmm...no.
Now I need to have a reason, like a friend of a friend, or a prior forum interaction, so I can make an informed decision on whether or not to accept.

It in NO WAY has to do with thinking I'm "all that" as I have very low self esteem and am actually surprised when I get ANY requests.

Plus I tell it like it is and people need to know I am no-nonsense and will critique your low calorie starvation diets constantly, so my profile also states that if you under-eat or have a locked diary then don't bother because I want friends that are trying to be healthy.

OUR PROFILES are OUR profiles, and we can say anything we want about OURSELVES, and saying what I will and will not accept is telling people about ME and then they can decide if they would STILL like to send me a note asking to be friends.

Rae6503

Many people on this site prefer a message with a friend request. Male, female, hot and not.

This. I still usually accept without a message but I am curious as to why they added me. Do we have similar goals? Similar interests? Do they admire how much I eat? Do they do Turbo Fire? New Rules? Or do they think I am hot?

dmpizza

Brilliant Response.

Banks01

I'm going to add a line that new requests must include a joke.

sunkisses

I like my message better.

jeffsgal105

It doesn't sound like you actually sent a friend request. People can tell when you click their profile?

Erindipitous

Don't assume all people who ask for a message with a friend request thinks their "all that". That's preposterous.

I do it because I want to know WHY someone wants to be a part of my life.. Because this lifestyle of eating right and exercising IS my life. I want to make sure people are serious about being supportive.. Not just to have me on their friends list. I also am looking for a good reason.. I support all of my friends, and it can be time consuming with many people to follow.

And believe it or not, 98% of the friend requests I get, I deny because they don't include a message. It's the first line of my friggin' profile, and if you didn't get that far, you're obviously not interested in me and my goals. :P

Dencrossgirl

Actually maybe they ARE all that!

dmpizza

It doesn't sound like you actually sent a friend request. People can tell when you click their profile?

I never sent a request to them and never intended to. It just peeves me that if look at their profile, they put a wall up instantly and assume you will make a friend request.

Banks01

Haha. Just read some the profiles here. Too funny

Erindipitous

Haha. Just read some the profiles here. Too funny

I'm not ashamed. :P

Banks01

Is that a tongue?

I don't think I've included a message in more than 10 requests. You never know who might be a good fit.