PET PEEVE ALERT "Include message in friend request" EXCUSE M

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  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
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    There is a whole lot of crazy in this site. And I mean clinically. And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT! Maybe not diagnosed, possibly not treated. It may not be a perfect or accurate way to screen potential stalkers and zombies and such, but it's caught a few. I am supportive and encouraging to my MFPeeps and expect the same from them. We are all from wildly different backgrounds and political alignment, but we all share a common bond. To achieve/maintain a healthy lifestyle. If you are of like mind, I encourage friend requests, but be advised that I expect as much as I can give. We all have lives we are trying to live and we may not be "All That" but ALL of the people on my friends are at LEAST, "SOME OF THAT"

    Being serious makes my butt itch.

    What T said..minus the butt itching :tongue:
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
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    This is just a pet peeve of mine.
    While reading people's posts, you often see profile pics of very attractive ladies.
    and if you're like me, you click on the name to see the profile.
    I DO NOT WANT TO FRIEND THESE PEOPLE, but I hate it when up front they ASSUME you do and post;
    "I no longer accept friend requests, or
    " please include a message as to WHY you should be my friend"

    You know what honey, you ain't all that.
    Sour grapes...lol

    You know what? I know I'm not all that or anything but it is MY profile and all, so I write what I want and I really prefer a face to a friend request. I've had my fair share of internet stalkers and you never know what kind of nutter will friend you. Also want a message because I don't want people who are only collecting friends and have no intention of talking to me or encouraging me. That is why we are here.:flowerforyou:
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
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    Because I used to accept all requests and then I got a message from a "friend" saying he wanted to "jump my bones". ummmm...no.
    Now I need to have a reason, like a friend of a friend, or a prior forum interaction, so I can make an informed decision on whether or not to accept.

    It in NO WAY has to do with thinking I'm "all that" as I have very low self esteem and am actually surprised when I get ANY requests.

    Plus I tell it like it is and people need to know I am no-nonsense and will critique your low calorie starvation diets constantly, so my profile also states that if you under-eat or have a locked diary then don't bother because I want friends that are trying to be healthy.

    OUR PROFILES are OUR profiles, and we can say anything we want about OURSELVES, and saying what I will and will not accept is telling people about ME and then they can decide if they would STILL like to send me a note asking to be friends.

    You ARE all that, Robin : funny, clever, pro-food :laugh:

    I never friend without leaving a message, because I always have a reason for choosing that person. However, I accept all requests because I assume others have similar reasons to my own: they liked something I wrote, we're the same height... Whatever...
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I honestly never thought of people adding me for my looks, or even clicking on my profile to get a better look at me. The "I'm all that' thought is so far removed from my thoughts I think pretty much the opposite of myself, and I still think of MFP as a fitness site not a dating/getting hit on site, but that's just me. I have the "not accepting friends request thing on my profile" because I was getting a lot of random requests and I always felt bad turning them down. And, I do want to know why someone is adding me, just out of curiosity I suppose. Did you like my blog? Are you in the same occupation? Let me know what we have in common. I have 50-ish friends on my list. I am not one who likes a lot of friends. I prefer to get to know my friends a little bit. I want to be able to see their posts and comment on them. For a while, I had 70-ish friends. It was crazy. There were so many new posts all the time and I could never keep track of them. Believe me, if there was an MFP setting for not accepting I would have it. I also wish there was a grouping feature so that I could remember why certain people are on my list, like 'this challenge,' 'that challenge,' 'same job,' or 'just plain cool,' lol. Don't assume we all think we are just that hot. We don't, we just don't like random requests.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    You know what honey, you ain't all that.

    It's probably not that. It's more likely to be this I think:

    emily.jpg

    I have a message on my profile saying I have a blanket policy of not accepting friend requests. One of the main reasons was because I felt bad simply declining people who requested me previously and felt compelled to send them a short message telling them why. It got to the point at one stage where I was getting a fair amount of friend requests every day that I wanted to do something to cut down on the time messaging. I still get friend requests but it's easy enough to deal with.
  • JsGirl93
    JsGirl93 Posts: 1,156
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    I can guarantee that I in know way think I am "all that". I ask simply for a message of where we crossed paths: #1 Out of curiosity, #2 I have found that in almost 100% of friend requests, the ones who take the time to respect your wishes and send even a quick, few word sentence are more likely to interact and be supportive.
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
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    I look for MFP friends that want to give encouragement to me, and I want to do the same back to them. It should not be a one way street. I don't like when people add me and then never say a word to me! So only accepting friend requests from people who include a personal message just lets me know that they are willing to make the effort and be an encouraging MFP friend, and those are the kind of friends I want on here.
  • Banks01
    Banks01 Posts: 985 Member
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    I look for MFP friends that want to give encouragement to me, and I want to do the same back to them. It should not be a one way street. I don't like when people add me and then never say a word to me! So only accepting friend requests from people who include a personal message just lets me know that they are willing to make the effort and be an encouraging MFP friend, and those are the kind of friends I want on here.

    I was going to, but that hat!
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
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    I was going to, but that hat!

    Umm okay thanks...? :huh:
  • Banks01
    Banks01 Posts: 985 Member
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    I can guarantee that I in know way think I am "all that". I ask simply for a message of where we crossed paths: #1 Out of curiosity, #2 I have found that in almost 100% of friend requests, the ones who take the time to respect your wishes and send even a quick, few word sentence are more likely to interact and be supportive.


    You are all that. But I doubt I included a message, and if I did, it was brief and jokey
  • JsGirl93
    JsGirl93 Posts: 1,156
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    I'm pretty sure you did Toby, & I have no problem with short, jokey messages. It gives a hint of your personality. :)
  • babygurl48
    babygurl48 Posts: 1,236 Member
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    I understand both parts to this. I can understand not wanting anymore friend requests but I do think it's odd when people say they want a message on why you are adding them.. duh for support!!!
    agreed!!
  • Heidi64
    Heidi64 Posts: 211 Member
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    I don't necessarily want a bunch of random adds and would prefer if someone left me a little note as to why they want to be my friend.. there is usually a reason so it's nice to share! Like "hey your inspiring! be my friend" "hey we seem to have similar goals lets work together!" or whatever. I don't demand it in so many words but I don't just randomly friend people either. If I saw someone i wanted to friend on a forum, I'd say "hey been following you in the forums, you seem cool!" or something. I don't make a note of it on my profile but I do prefer a note with requests and am more likely to accept the request if there is one. That's all :)

    This exactly!
  • Enforcer25
    Enforcer25 Posts: 350 Member
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    I guess my answer is who cares, if I read a profile and they want a message, I'll write why I am sending it, if not I usually don't. People can add what they want to a profile, there are enough people on here that I could care less if they aren't accepting friends or want a message included.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    I'll add anyone with or without a message. I interact with some of my friends, but others are just along for the ride, which is OK as well.
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    ....well since I AM "all that"...I choose to keep my "no creepers" message in my profile..













    I keed keed but seriously, if someone can't take 2 seconds to write me a quick message then I kind of feel like I'm just another add in their friends list... I need good support and people who "get" me and I have had my fair share of creeper adds...so yeah.. But that's just my take on it. :smile: .
  • JDNOX
    JDNOX Posts: 619
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    +1 to the puppet

    I remember I sent this guy a PM on a gaming forum and he was all 'Sorry, but I have a girlfriend'. Good for you, dude. Chicks can't talk to you without falling victim to your enchanting FFT screenname? Knob.

    Love it, why can a message be a message or a hi be a hi without the whole i am married with two kids how dare you talk to me..
  • Run4iiiiiit
    Run4iiiiiit Posts: 489 Member
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    I either request people because they are a runner or they made me laugh on someone's wall or in here. I add anyone who asks, with or without a message. I guess I need to take this a little more serious.
  • PatientBearTiger
    PatientBearTiger Posts: 475
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    This is just a pet peeve of mine.
    While reading people's posts, you often see profile pics of very attractive ladies.
    and if you're like me, you click on the name to see the profile.
    I DO NOT WANT TO FRIEND THESE PEOPLE, but I hate it when up front they ASSUME you do and post;
    "I no longer accept friend requests, or
    " please include a message as to WHY you should be my friend"

    You know what honey, you ain't all that.

    Then don't be friends with them. Are your wittle feewings hurt so bad that you can't just ignore it??? Since I have that message in my profile too, you obviously have zero desire to be friends with me. Guess what? I don't care. I'm sure you are a very nice person but you have your reasons why you do or don't want to be friends with someone; so do I. That's my choice. Deal with it.

    The other thing is that there are a lot of very attractive people on this site and a lot of very creepy people out there. If my wife or sister or any other person I cared about was on here, I sure as hell want to know something about the people trying to friend them. It's a safety thing.

    So, you know what? You ain't all that either. Get over yourself.
  • RocketsGirl75
    RocketsGirl75 Posts: 648
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    This is just a pet peeve of mine.
    While reading people's posts, you often see profile pics of very attractive ladies.
    and if you're like me, you click on the name to see the profile.
    I DO NOT WANT TO FRIEND THESE PEOPLE, but I hate it when up front they ASSUME you do and post;
    "I no longer accept friend requests, or
    " please include a message as to WHY you should be my friend"

    You know what honey, you ain't all that.

    RAWR!

    Then don't be friends with them. Are your wittle feewings hurt so bad that you can't just ignore it??? Since I have that message in my profile too, you obviously have zero desire to be friends with me. Guess what? I don't care. I'm sure you are a very nice person but you have your reasons why you do or don't want to be friends with someone; so do I. That's my choice. Deal with it.

    The other thing is that there are a lot of very attractive people on this site and a lot of very creepy people out there. If my wife or sister or any other person I cared about was on here, I sure as hell want to know something about the people trying to friend them. It's a safety thing.

    So, you know what? You ain't all that either. Get over yourself.

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