Has MFP caused problems ...with ur partners/spouse ?

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24

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  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    My husband doesn't take it, or what I'm trying to do, very seriously. I think he looks at it as an interference with how much he cooks (he's the cook in the family) because I'm not eating as much = lots of leftovers which can mean waste. We work opposite shifts, or I think he would be irritated by the time I spend on the site. But, I figure I need to get the support and encouragement somewhere, right?
  • SusanneWhittington
    SusanneWhittington Posts: 339 Member
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    my husband and me signed on the same day and love it, we spend the same amount of time on MFP. Even when he would not be on here, he would be very supportive and is proud of me loosing weight.
  • thinby40
    thinby40 Posts: 113
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    My husband hardly pays attention to me so it doesn't matter....LOL!
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
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    Nope. I don't get on the boards when he's around just because I'd rather spend time with him than on here... no offense ;)
    I get on to log my food, exercise and water when he's around but he knows it helps me and he's happy with the loss so far so he doesn't complain.
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
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    Nope. My husband has been completely supportive. In fact when he goes to make dinner he always ask "honey how many calories do you have left for the day?" :happy: I spend a buttload of time on the computer anyways so he doesn't bat an eye when I'm on here. In fact he tends to read over my shoulder...
  • katya73
    katya73 Posts: 464
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    hmm... Kinda curious here ... MFP is an awesome tool for weight loss ..we all know that ! So that in our life is a major plus , we look better , feel healthier ect ... But in MFP we discover this whole MFP world ..new friends, constant encouragement, compliments, flirting ... and so the list goes on .... So its fair to say this site is or can potentially be very addictive .. Right ?

    Many of us here have a ' other ' half so to speak ..... I know from experience .. My other half is starting to get rather pissed off with the time I am spending on here.. And honest it's not much ... as I justify it to myself :) I am finding myself ..to avoid confrontation ... Never logging on whilst he is around ect... Lol.... Anyways... Got me thinking .... I guess it can cause some major dilemmas for couples ... Soo ... Care to share ?????
    It's almost like the Facebook of People Who Want To Be Healthier, and I'm sure everyone has heard about the problems Faceboo

    has contributed to relationships.




    I totally agree with this... And I show him ... How harmless this is ...also want him to join ....but to no avail .... hence why I don't log on around him ! Come to the point I think I should just deactivate the account and be done with it !

    I will agree the site is very addictive, but if you're logging on when he's not around to avoid confrontation, it almost sounds like you don't have him as a support system for home. That can't be good...sure we're all here in cyberspace cheering each other on to do their best, but the ones closest to you at home should be included in on it.

    Just keep the flirting in private messages ;)
  • SBrewer1984
    SBrewer1984 Posts: 19
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    I have had no problems either..has your spouse ever bn on ur account?? If so.. look @ ur friends list does it give him reason to b jealous ??
  • Emalyn
    Emalyn Posts: 60
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    I don't currently have a spouse or boyfriend or anything, but my ex bf was kind of like that! He would get jealous over the smallest things, even if they didn't seem to hinder our relationship at all. Mind you, I couldn't even mention another man's name without my bf playing 20 questions with me. I would tend to avoid conversations about things or what I had been doing because I didn't want a lecture and I didn't want him to get jealous or upset with something I liked to do or a person I liked to hang out with! I can totally understand the avoidance part. I can see where that would happen, too. Computers take up a lot of time that we could spend with our loved ones, and some people just can't let that fly. But he should realize that it's helping you to be on here!! I'm sure there are a few things he does that irritate you, too. So he'll just have to deal. :happy:
  • katya73
    katya73 Posts: 464
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    Okay soooo it seems to me ... What I really need to do is get him to join MFP so we can enjoy together .... Make him realize what a useful site it is !! Also just made me realize as I typed the topic ..... Trust ... Is actually the issue
  • hstallings13
    hstallings13 Posts: 306
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    Mine knows I'm on here, but it doesn't worry him, he trusts me completely and vice versa. He sees the sucess I'm having and how happy it is making me so he's all for it. Plus as I work from home, I'm mostly on here when I'm at work so it doesn't really take time away from him or the family except when I log my food or exercise real quick.
  • katya73
    katya73 Posts: 464
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    I have had no problems either..has your spouse ever bn on ur account?? If so.. look @ ur friends list does it give him reason to b jealous ??




    No need for that ... I am merely asking the question here ! It's ignorant to judge someone you don't know ... However thx for your reply !
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
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    None at all. My husband is on here with me :smile:
    Mine too. Plus I read y'alls posts to him. :)
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
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    Nope. Sometime I read the really insane posts to him and we laugh.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Nope, none here either. My husband is use to me being on line. I'm a manager for an online Moms forum, plus I facebook. Now, he'll get irritated if we're going someone and I jump on the computer 1 last time before I walk out the door. I'll also add though, I don't flirt with people I meet online (or in person for that matter) I would not be ok with my husband flirting with other people and find that type of behavior to be very disrespectful to a significant other, my marriage and our family is entirely too important to me to put myself in that type of situation.

    Ahh, Mom's boards...lol. Between mom's forums, and myspace...that's what caused the first split in my last major relationship. Nothing like a bunch of busybody women listening to a poor, poor, physically and emotionally abused girl, desperately crying out for help and support and validation...giving incredibly irresponsible advice, while that poor, poor abused girl kept an online boyfriend on her secret Myspace....and while the evil, abusive boyfriend went to work every day, came home, cared for his family and kids...and had zero clue what was going on behind his back.

    To the OP, it's the internet hun. All I can suggest to you is to keep the flirting to zero, and don't spend a lot of time logging in behind his back. Things like that can sometimes get blown all out of the water compared to what they really were. Better to share it with him in terms of why you enjoy it etc. If he doesn't like it, at least he knows you've nothing to hide, because you're doing it right there with him.
  • SaundraU
    SaundraU Posts: 77
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    Nope hubby fully supports me on this and encourages me. Many times he is exercising with me and gets the food choices that I need to make.
  • 2001cobra
    2001cobra Posts: 9
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    Here are the thoughts of one single guy...

    A person should not flirt with anyone who is married or involved with someone period!! I have only been on here for one week and I just discovered the friend thing today. I have noticed that most profiles do not make mention of their relationship status. If a man, or woman for that matter, see a profile picture and they are attracted to that person, the chances are they may send a flirtatious message, not knowing they are married. Some people just like to flirt! :wink:

    I guess it should be quite obvious that if you are married or involved and someone sends you a flirty message, you must nip it in the bud right away and tell them your married / involved. That should end it right there. If the person continues, they are a jerk, and you should delete them and report them to MFP. If your married / involved and accepting flirtatious messages, there is a problem with your relationship that needs to be addressed.

    This site has real health value and I am happy to see that for the most part there are no relationship problems created here.

    Just my 2 cents...

    Pete
  • Dickersondiva
    Dickersondiva Posts: 97 Member
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    I have had no problems either..has your spouse ever bn on ur account?? If so.. look @ ur friends list does it give him reason to b jealous ??


    No need for that ... I am merely asking the question here ! It's ignorant to judge someone you don't know ... However thx for your reply !

    Umm...rawrrrr. That was a little snippy. I don't think the poster was being judgmental...just exploring options as to why your s/o might be acting that way. You said it yourself...trust is the issue. So...does he give you the benefit of the doubt to behave yourself regardless of your friends list? And yes...it is safe to say that if an insecure man sees attractive men in your friends list, that may give cause to his irrational behavior.

    2001cobra...I don't think the OP was flirting with anyone, or that anyone was flirting with her. I think her concern is (and don't flame me, OP, because I ain't being judgmental...just taking a safe assumption) how her s/o is behaving in regards to her MFP account and the time she spends on it. With the wave of social media and the fingers pointed towards it for "ruining relationships", very seldom is the blame placed in the right place....the people using it. Therefore, if your s/o all of a sudden sees you spending hours and hours on the laptop, communicating with others, laughing/smiling randomly while reading posts, if they are insecure, this could definitely cause some friction.

    Im with most on the fact that you shouldn't be logging on behind his back. If you are in a position to have to hide or lie by omission, perhaps it is time for counseling. Like you said, there are definite trust issues. I speak from a position of experience, and I empathize with you, so do not take this the wrong way. :)
  • Banks01
    Banks01 Posts: 985 Member
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    I think it could happen, and probably does frequently.
  • LeeKetty1176
    LeeKetty1176 Posts: 881 Member
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    Yes i have had this problem

    not that she does not support but thinks i am on here way to much
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
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    When I first started using MFP, my husband was a little jealous of the time I was spending on it. When I showed him what I was doing (mostly logging food and a few "nice workout!" messages), he just thought I wasn't spending my time wisely, but stopped bothering me about it.

    However, OP, I think that if I had your profile picture (lovely pic, but maybe a bit on the sexy side), friend list (mostly men...lots shirtless) and posts (including topics such as big boobs, MFP crushes, and the possibility of falling in love on MFP), he would have been pretty jealous....and for good reason.

    Good luck.

    -LP

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