Does hating your mother mean you are a bad person?

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AlwaysWanderer
AlwaysWanderer Posts: 641 Member
in Chit-Chat
Does it? Are you meant to love your mother no matter how much of a b***ch she is? My mother is exactly that, but when I say I dont care about her people go like "but she is your mother! how can you be so callous!", like being a mother automatically made her wonderful. Is there anyone out there who is in a situation like that? Or am I just plain evil? :devil:
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Replies

  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
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    I'm evil, but I don't hate my mother ha ha.
  • gel91
    gel91 Posts: 309
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    Yep, I get the same reactions.

    But I honestly, really don't give a damn! :)
  • editara13
    editara13 Posts: 384 Member
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    You might not like her actions at all, but not hate her my friend. Hate is heavy stuff :-)

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  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Being a mother doesn't excuse horrible behaviour.
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
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    if she's not nice then I don't blame you at all. Life is full of mean people. I'm not sure if it chooses wheter it's family or not.
  • alorick
    alorick Posts: 194
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    I hate my mother as a person, but I love her because she's my mother. Sometimes, she's great and we get along nicely. But most of the time, she's a raging alcoholic ***** and I can't stand to be around her.

    So, no. It doesn't make you a bad person.
  • RTricia
    RTricia Posts: 720
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    nope. It doesn't mean that one bit.
  • foremant86
    foremant86 Posts: 1,115 Member
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    lol when i first read this I thought it said Hitting your mother..i was like uh yea lil bit lol.

    My mom and I have a love/hate relationship. Sometimes she's great and other times I can't stand her and people are always so astonished that I'm mean to her until they see the way she acts and the **** she does(getting drunk and attacking us, telling us how much she hates us, etc.) then they change their toon!
  • hchandler0823
    hchandler0823 Posts: 46 Member
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    I hated my mother for a long time. She had abandoned my brothers and I for years and chose her boyfriend (who is now her husband) and his 2 kids over her own. We didn't speak for years and she didn't even come to my first wedding. It was only after I got back into going to church that I was able to forgive (not forget) her for what she had done to me. It doesn't make you a bad person to feel that way about your mother, it just means that things have happened in your relationship to cause negative feelings.
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,083 Member
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    i hate my mum..
    but i still love her.
    but i suppose that only because for half my life she was a good mum.

    it doesnt make u a bad person at all for hating her.
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
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    Hate is pretty strong and at times I've felt this way but overall I love my mom. Even though she can be a tyrant and boss me around I realized she sacrificed so much for me as I was growing up. You only get one mom in your life and it's usually the one that cares the most is the one that might get on your nerves. Most people won't give a d@mn.
  • CzubbyMommy
    CzubbyMommy Posts: 13
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    I feel the same toward my mother. Just because she gave birth to me, doesn't mean she can treat me like garbage. I'm sorry, I'm a grown adult with a child of my own and I deserve to be respected too!

    You're not evil and you're not alone! :)
  • SueGeer
    SueGeer Posts: 1,169 Member
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    I love my mother :heart: But....she definitely has her favourite child....and it certainly ain't me. I'm bottom of her list. It's not too bad if I'm on my own with her.....but I'm virtually ignored if my brother or sisters (or, God forbid...all of them together) are there......
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Oy, these posts about family and past issues are making me sad. :brokenheart:

    I once hated my mom as well. It didn't make me a bad person. I blamed her alot for my crappy childhood with good reason. After much digging and soul searching, I have forgiven my mother. I still question alot but I have chosen to not be angry with anybody, even those that have hurt me the most.


    You're not an evil person.
  • leynak
    leynak Posts: 963 Member
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    Well, I guess it depends on what exactly she has done to you. Personally, I don't hate anyone. I find it is less stress for me if I just let go of the hate. Of course, there are people that I could hate (evil stepfather) & I guess I did at one point in time but not anymore.
  • glockster972
    glockster972 Posts: 704 Member
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    Yep, I get the same reactions.

    But I honestly, really don't give a damn! :)

    My thoughts exactly!
  • CoachMaritova
    CoachMaritova Posts: 409 Member
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    WWFS?

    What Would Freud Say? Haha... I think it depends on the circumstance(s). I believe there are lots of people who have been so incredibly injured by either of their parents that hating them would be justifiable. But, just hating them for trying hard to be good parents and disciplining within reason... or for being thin, or having grey hair, etc... then no. It's not ok.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    No. My mother never liked me and she never concealed it. For all of my childhood, I tried like everything to make that woman like me & treat me like my friends' mothers treated them. NO. As I got older & started having children, we saw less of each other, my children didn't even know her. Regardless, she called my kids' school & reported me for child abuse - tried to get them removed from my home! THAT is when I called her and told her what I think of her. It was the last time we ever spoke. Ever.
    She died without speaking to me. She terrorized my aunts & that side of my family so that they avoided me too. At that witch's funeral, my Aunts & cousins agreed it was good she's dead. 'ding dong the witch is dead' and we can be a family again
    so no, you don't have to like someone just cause she's your mother
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    I don't like mine much. She almost died 6 years ago and it made me realize that I do still love her but I don't have to like her. She suffered brain damage as a results of that accident and has been in a home ever since. I don't feel guilty about not visiting her because she was a **** mother....
  • Wendybirduk
    Wendybirduk Posts: 92 Member
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    I hear you hunny! I have not spoken with my mother in 18 years now. With one exception! She phoned me to tell me my Grandmother had died (My Granny Mac was more of a Mother to me than my so called mother was) When I asked when the funeral was she said "Yesterday" !! I hung up on her.

    She spent most of my childhood making me feel inferior, scared and unwanted. Motherhood is supposed to inspire deep undying love and devotion to children. Sometimes it goes wrong. Sometimes people are just not meant to have kids.

    But Halina that does NOT mean you are a bad person! You were brought into the world by a woman who for some reason you don't get on with and has not given you the love and care you need.

    I understand your feelings babes. xoxox Have you spoken to anybody about this?

    I got counselling and it made me realise that it was not my fault! PM me if you want to chat babes. xoxox

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