Relationships/CHEATERS

fbmandy55

It depends on the relationship and is something that I would have to discuss early on. I may be willing to have an open relationship with one person or I may want to be exclusive. If it was someone I wanted to be exclusive with, I would probably have some sort of plan worked out with them. I guess it depends on the relationship and what you actually consider cheating....

asyouseefit

If it was a one off mistake kind of thing I'd rather not ever know. If it was something more and likely to happen again I'd want to know and move on.....with him out of my life.

This.

cantjustcant

Mine didn't have to tell me....I found out on my own! That was 15 months ago. As soon as I left I went and had myself tested for any STDs and AIDS...both came back negative. He still calls and texts me wanting to hook up....BUT doesn't want a relationship with me....ummm no. And stop texting me pictures of your weiner!

Mad_Dog_Muscle

I travel a LOT for work, always have. My wife and I have been together since 1997 and when we started dating I was living in London and her in Houston. I still spend about 6 months a year away from home. In my line of work you learn not to have a jealous side. I told her early on, if she had a weak moment and did cheat on me, she needs to keep it to herself forever because the relationship would most likely be over. Sounds dumb but what I dont know wont hurt me.
Having said that, this rule pretty much applies to a one time thing, if she were having a long term affair, then yea, I would rather know so we can move on.

TheNewLK

Been there and done that ..........I want to know!!!

datguy2011

She told me.... so I left her *kitten*.. NEXT!

Mad_Dog_Muscle

I would never want to know unless he felt our relationship was over. Truly …take it to the grave Baby and never tell me!

^THIS^ I always say that, "Take it the grave"

kerriknox

Tell me, so I can leave them

^^^ This

writtenINthestars

I'd rather be told. I'll appreciate the honesty and frankly, it may change whether or not I dump your *kitten* now or later. If I find out later on...you are now a huge lying untrustworthy son of a biotch and will get no second chance.

Kristhin

I would want to know so we can split up unless he was really sorry and would never ever ever do it again and felt really bad, then if he was really never going to do it again and it was just like once then I wouldn't want to know.

mscoco10

I would want to know. There are too many STD's and crazy people out there. My lifeand well being are worth so much more than his cheating. Someone said if he's happy he wouldn't cheat. I say if i'm making him un happy and he hasnt told me and resorts to cheating he shoulda left longtime ago.

kunibob

Alright, here is a tough question for all of you.

Would you rather your significant other tell you they cheated on you or just have them keep it a secret and you never find out?

Tell me. Right up front. Possibly the only way I would consider staying with a cheater is if he told me up front, was extremely regretful, and agreed to go right into therapy with me so we could work on whatever issues he felt drove him to it. From that point on, we could see how we go, and see if the trust could be rebuilt.

As writtinINthestars says above, if I find out myself, it's over.

momof8munchkins

Tell me....so I can make them leave. If they cheat once, they will typically cheat again. Very few relationships survive cheating. I'm worth more and deserve way more than that! So do you!!!

^
this! left my firt husband for this reason.. best decision I ever made! Been married now for almost 13 years to a wonderful man that loves me and I know I can trust.

27strange

I'd want to know. Also, if I did the cheating hypothetically (which I won't) I think I would come clean. The truth will eventually be found out, better to be upfront and honest.

Amysgetnfit

IGNORANCE IS BLISS..

that being said I would still probably want to know, Honesty is a big thing with me, & I would at least have respect for him for having the balls to come clean. Depending on if its a one time thing or not & the circumstances would determine my reaction.

proctorgirl07

bump

lloydrt

since we live in a time of STDs and AIDs, you owe it to your partner to be honest if you had cheated, even once



People who look healthy and disease free can be carriers. This includes chlamedia ( sp) , herpes, and the AIDS virus

and ,realistically, man made condoms arent 100 percent safe..........They can leak, as well as oral sex can transmit the virus from one partner to the next.

with all this in mind , is it really worth it? Nope

and knowing the pain and hurt I would feel if it were done to me, how could I do the same to my partner...........nope, its not worth it. I like things like they have been and will be........

again, this is from some one who is 56 and been with the same person 28 years................Lloyd

sandrinamsilva

Tell me the truth, I'm a big girl I can handle it! Doesn't mean I will stay just means I want you to be a man and be honest with me!

juliesummers

Personally, I don't believe that a person can cheat without it eventually affecting the relationship (ie. him acting shady, accusing me of things, getting upset for "no" reason, picking fights, becoming jealous, etc), so I'd rather him tell me so we can communicate openly and decide whether we're going to handle the situation or move on.

BrownEyedG1rl

Tell me.

In my situation, he didn't and I found out from someone else. Not pretty,

painisfitness

tell me right away or just leave me before you cheat

Aid_B

Don't tell me, once you know it's always there and it messes with yiour head every day

rbryntes

If they cheat once, they will typically cheat again.

I don't think this is necessarily true. But I also don't find cheating to be the be-all, end-all worst things that can happen in a relationship.

BrettPGH

didnt tell me, i found out (it was with my good friend), left himmmmm in a minute. (and broke his xbox) :]

decided to give the man who liked me for 2 years a real chance.
we have been together almost two years and it was the best decision of my life.

and for the record my boyfriend dosnt have any wondering eye. we love each other and he knows how heart broken i was when i found out about my ex being unfaitfull. we would never think of cheating on each other.

Ok that is just wrong and awful.

How could you break his Xbox?? Not that he didn't deserve it, he did. But my Xbox is busted and I can't afford a new one!!

Ladies, if any of your men cheat and own an Xbox, please, just send it to me.

gogonunubean

There is a big difference between an 'affair' and 'cheating' in my mind.

If my hubby had too much to drink and woke up next to someone and was horrified about it, I would not want to know. I am married to a good man and I won't throw a marraige away on a silly mistake.

BUT, if it was a long drawn out thing, or pre-meditated, then that would be the end of my marraige and I would definately want to know about it as it is a big betrayal.

LovingMyselfAgain

I would like to think that i prefer to be told. I always tell my husband that it is better to be honest because in being honest it shows whether or not you are truly sorry (if in fact he is)... I would prefer to be told the truth... We have also discussed talking to each other prior to anything.. Flirting is always going to happen, wherever you go.. There will be women, and men who are just natural flirts.. and there is nothing wrong with that.. but if you find yourself eager to get to that place where that man/woman is.. so you can be that way with them, or you find yourself thinking about that person way too often, then i think it's time to discuss it with your partner (whether it be husband/wife boyfriend/girlfriend).... And you need to then look into your relationship and see where it is lacking...

and as a side note... cheating is horrible either way, but if its with a "random one time" type of deal... i would much rather prefer that over an actual "relationship" with a person.. where he/she not only physically cheated, but emotionally did as well...

lloydrt

I would never cheat, much less put my partners life on the line............and yes, condoms le

audigal2008

I would like to think that i prefer to be told. I always tell my husband that it is better to be honest because in being honest it shows whether or not you are truly sorry (if in fact he is)... I would prefer to be told the truth... We have also discussed talking to each other prior to anything.. Flirting is always going to happen, wherever you go.. There will be women, and men who are just natural flirts.. and there is nothing wrong with that.. but if you find yourself eager to get to that place where that man/woman is.. so you can be that way with them, or you find yourself thinking about that person way too often, then i think it's time to discuss it with your partner (whether it be husband/wife boyfriend/girlfriend).... And you need to then look into your relationship and see where it is lacking...

and as a side note... cheating is horrible either way, but if its with a "random one time" type of deal... i would much rather prefer that over an actual "relationship" with a person.. where he/she not only physically cheated, but emotionally did as well...

whether it be an emotional thing or physical,cheating hurts

macpatti

Tell ME!

Now, would you ask why they cheated? and would you want to know ALL the details? as to when he/she started the other relationship ..or just let it go and move on?

Tell me so I can just go. I don't want to know the details...he would just be putting his life in danger

^^^This!

wonderific

I would want my husband to tell me. I would want to know the circumstances, like if he got drunk and made a stupid decision 1 time or if he was having a relationship with someone else. Either way would be difficult but maybe we could work through a 1 time mistake.