Relationships/CHEATERS

KayteeBear

Tell me. If they are upfront and tells me and says he's sorry and honestly wants to work it out he would get one chance. Ever find out that he cheated again...he's gone in a split second.

coloradocami

I’m actually surprised most people would want to know. My husband and I had this conversation about 16years ago when we had friends trying to work though an affair. I told my husband then…if he wanted to stay in our marriage, I would have to never find out…I stood by my friend as all the responsibility of his affair fell to her…he was sorry (and he truly was) but then she had to work though how to forgive and move on.

coloradocami

BTW…I trust him!

ThePhoenixRose

Tell me before, so I can join in the fun!

cklbrown

Hitting home today. My husband left me in April. He swore he didn't have a gf. In fact still does. I found out today for at least 18 months he has been in love with a woman he met on the internet. I dont know if he had ever had any physical contact with her, but he has professed his love numerous times. She is the only woman he had ever been so physically attracted to (why he asked me to marry him I don't know!). She is the only woman who has ever made him feel this way. They exchange love letters and porno emails and suggestive photos. I want to vomit. I thought there was a chance we could work it out. We have 4 kids. I wish I knew sooner. I would have spent less time blaming myself and more time blaming him! Well at least I have my whole life to make up for that! I lost all respect for him. We were together 25 years. I might not have been easy to deal with, but he was no picnic. Lying is just as bad as cheating. Thanks I needed to tell someone. Now at least I told many!

coloradocami

Tell me before, so I can join in the fun!

love it!

uhhmandaa

Tell me so I'm not stuck looking like an idiot when you find out and they have no remorse.

Iamfit4life

Tell me, so I can leave him and not have to deal with missing him all the time anymore.

Sasssy69

Some STD's do not have symptoms. And they can kill you. If you cheat, you need to tell the other person so he/she can get tested.

lloydrt

cklbrown.......really sorry to hear that......its not your fault. He made a choice and in the end lost his family.......
Hope you get on in life and can make it without him. Your children need you, good luck ..........Lloyd

messyinthekitchen

I'd want to know so I can leave him. Cheating is unforgivable. I wouldn't want to know why he did it because regardless of the bull**** he would then spew out of his mouth it isn't about me it's about him. It drives me crazy how many people tear apart their relationship and then blame it on the other person. You don't love someone if your willing to crush them. I can't understand why so many men/women would be willing to repair there relationship. The repairing should have happened before the cheating not after. I would be absolutely heart broken, the thought alone bothers me. What ever happened to if your not happy fix it.

Enforcer25

I would want to know, because I would leave, I don't care if was once or not, once is one time to many. This may sound old school, but there is still a thing such as honor and commitment. I think that gets lost in today's world.

La_Amazona

I deserve the choice. Give me the choice of deciding for myself whether I'm staying or leaving. So tell me.

cklbrown

cklbrown.......really sorry to hear that......its not your fault. He made a choice and in the end lost his family.......
Hope you get on in life and can make it without him. Your children need you, good luck ..........Lloyd

Thanks Lloyd. I am having a hard time not having a bad attitude towards him because of my kids. Regardless of what happened between us, he is their father and I want him in their life for them. So I suck it up and say "Dad's a great guy!" I just leave off the lying, cheating *kitten* part!

mdfeller

My opinion is based on our overall life. We have everything together. We have talked about it extensively. If it happened and was a one time occurrence, and only sex, no emotions, etc. neither of us want to know. Both of our reasoning is because of our kids and our feelings. No reason for either of us to get hurt when we plan on sticking it out to the end. If it was on ongoing affair or with different people on different occasions, we would tell each other, be devastated, and still try to work it out for the sake of ourselves, families, and children. That's not to say I wouldn't auction all his **** off, or sell it in a garage sale or donate it to charity, but we'd still try to work on it. I don't really agree with divorces, and second marriages, but obviously people should be faithful.

juliecat1

Tell me before, so I can join in the fun!

this!

I dont think affairs happen in a happy, respectful, trusting relationship. They are often a symptom or reaction of the opposite. So Id prefer to know so we can move on.

foremant86

Tell me! no matter what!

T_R_A_V

After being cheated on, I want to know!

chocolateandvodka

i don't think there's ever a time when i wouldn't want to know.

but i'm not a jealous person. in every dating/marriage relationship i've had, i've always had the mentality that if they felt the desire to seek "relations" outside of our "relations" i care about honesty first and foremost.
if you lie about it, i'm done. then and there. if you are honest and up front about it, i can deal with it. hell, i might not even have an issue with it at all... so just try me. don't just assume i will fly into a rage... or i will fly into a rage because you made assumptions about me.

audigal2008

After being cheated on, I want to know!

Yep! Whats worse is seeing it with your own eyes! Devastating!