Relationships/CHEATERS

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1246

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  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    It depends on the relationship and is something that I would have to discuss early on. I may be willing to have an open relationship with one person or I may want to be exclusive. If it was someone I wanted to be exclusive with, I would probably have some sort of plan worked out with them. I guess it depends on the relationship and what you actually consider cheating....
  • asyouseefit
    asyouseefit Posts: 1,265 Member
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    If it was a one off mistake kind of thing I'd rather not ever know. If it was something more and likely to happen again I'd want to know and move on.....with him out of my life.

    This.
  • cantjustcant
    cantjustcant Posts: 1,027 Member
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    Mine didn't have to tell me....I found out on my own! That was 15 months ago. As soon as I left I went and had myself tested for any STDs and AIDS...both came back negative. He still calls and texts me wanting to hook up....BUT doesn't want a relationship with me....ummm no. And stop texting me pictures of your weiner!
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
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    I travel a LOT for work, always have. My wife and I have been together since 1997 and when we started dating I was living in London and her in Houston. I still spend about 6 months a year away from home. In my line of work you learn not to have a jealous side. I told her early on, if she had a weak moment and did cheat on me, she needs to keep it to herself forever because the relationship would most likely be over. Sounds dumb but what I dont know wont hurt me.
    Having said that, this rule pretty much applies to a one time thing, if she were having a long term affair, then yea, I would rather know so we can move on.
  • TheNewLK
    TheNewLK Posts: 933 Member
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    Been there and done that ..........I want to know!!!
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
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    She told me.... so I left her *kitten*.. NEXT!
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
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    I would never want to know unless he felt our relationship was over. Truly …take it to the grave Baby and never tell me!

    ^THIS^ I always say that, "Take it the grave"
  • kerriknox
    kerriknox Posts: 276 Member
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    Tell me, so I can leave them

    ^^^ This
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    I'd rather be told. I'll appreciate the honesty and frankly, it may change whether or not I dump your *kitten* now or later. If I find out later on...you are now a huge lying untrustworthy son of a biotch and will get no second chance.
  • Kristhin
    Kristhin Posts: 442 Member
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    I would want to know so we can split up unless he was really sorry and would never ever ever do it again and felt really bad, then if he was really never going to do it again and it was just like once then I wouldn't want to know.
  • mscoco10
    mscoco10 Posts: 527 Member
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    I would want to know. There are too many STD's and crazy people out there. My lifeand well being are worth so much more than his cheating. Someone said if he's happy he wouldn't cheat. I say if i'm making him un happy and he hasnt told me and resorts to cheating he shoulda left longtime ago.
  • kunibob
    kunibob Posts: 608 Member
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    Alright, here is a tough question for all of you.

    Would you rather your significant other tell you they cheated on you or just have them keep it a secret and you never find out?

    Tell me. Right up front. Possibly the only way I would consider staying with a cheater is if he told me up front, was extremely regretful, and agreed to go right into therapy with me so we could work on whatever issues he felt drove him to it. From that point on, we could see how we go, and see if the trust could be rebuilt.

    As writtinINthestars says above, if I find out myself, it's over.
  • momof8munchkins
    momof8munchkins Posts: 1,167 Member
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    Tell me....so I can make them leave. If they cheat once, they will typically cheat again. Very few relationships survive cheating. I'm worth more and deserve way more than that! So do you!!!

    ^
    this! left my firt husband for this reason.. best decision I ever made! Been married now for almost 13 years to a wonderful man that loves me and I know I can trust.
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
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    I'd want to know. Also, if I did the cheating hypothetically (which I won't) I think I would come clean. The truth will eventually be found out, better to be upfront and honest.
  • Amysgetnfit
    Amysgetnfit Posts: 231
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    IGNORANCE IS BLISS..

    that being said I would still probably want to know, Honesty is a big thing with me, & I would at least have respect for him for having the balls to come clean. Depending on if its a one time thing or not & the circumstances would determine my reaction.
  • proctorgirl07
    proctorgirl07 Posts: 68 Member
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    bump
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    since we live in a time of STDs and AIDs, you owe it to your partner to be honest if you had cheated, even once



    People who look healthy and disease free can be carriers. This includes chlamedia ( sp) , herpes, and the AIDS virus

    and ,realistically, man made condoms arent 100 percent safe..........They can leak, as well as oral sex can transmit the virus from one partner to the next.

    with all this in mind , is it really worth it? Nope

    and knowing the pain and hurt I would feel if it were done to me, how could I do the same to my partner...........nope, its not worth it. I like things like they have been and will be........

    again, this is from some one who is 56 and been with the same person 28 years................Lloyd
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
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    Tell me the truth, I'm a big girl I can handle it! Doesn't mean I will stay just means I want you to be a man and be honest with me!
  • juliesummers
    juliesummers Posts: 738 Member
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    Personally, I don't believe that a person can cheat without it eventually affecting the relationship (ie. him acting shady, accusing me of things, getting upset for "no" reason, picking fights, becoming jealous, etc), so I'd rather him tell me so we can communicate openly and decide whether we're going to handle the situation or move on.
  • BrownEyedG1rl
    BrownEyedG1rl Posts: 625 Member
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    Tell me.

    In my situation, he didn't and I found out from someone else. Not pretty,

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