WTF?!?! Personal question - opinions welcome!

Mad_Dog_Muscle

omg, I thought it was just me...

I am EXTREMELY sexual, but my husband could almost care less about getting it on as much as I would like to. I too have gone months, and before, I used to ask, but after getting turned down a few times, I got over that and tried to wait it out. Eff that. I became very pissy and bratty, because I felt less than desirable.

Turns out he has some "man" issues that we have to deal with and he now has to take testosterone injections. Even though I know what it is now, it still makes me pissy and bratty when its been a while. I can't help it. I'm really pissy and bratty right now. Its been almost 3 weeks now... *sigh*

So, I feel your pain.... *hugs*

Wait.... Huh.... What??? :noway: MONTHS?????? :noway: I am so naive, I had no clue the problem with some dudes was this serious!!!

my bad, it has been a month here and there, but happened over and over. He would do it to make me happy.

Whew! ok, thats not as bad.... still a month is bad, .... good luck to you too!! :frown:

foremant86

How old are they? Like 4, 5 months? Plenty old enough to kick em out of the house for a few hours!!! (Kidding of course)

It's not whining if you're trying to solve the problem.

Have you thought about getting a sitter and doing an evening away once a month or something (don't know if that's practical for you).

Pardon the TMI, but in my opinion there is very little in this world better than crazy hotel room sex, especially if you can spring for a room with a hot tub in it

^^ This

get a sitter and plan some alone time for the both of you..it can do a world of good!


I've always been worried about ending up with a guy who doesn't have a very high sex drive. I know mine could change but i don't think it will, i looooove sex. I seriously don't know how people can go months without it when they don't have to, with the last boyfriend i got incredibly crabby when I went without for 5 days lol!

gsager

I guess you could talk to him and ask him why he's not attracted to you.......

ThePhoenixRose

I guess you could talk to him and ask him why he's not attracted to you.......

I appreciate the assumption that he's not attracted to me. That definitely helps.

bry_all01

omg, I thought it was just me...

I am EXTREMELY sexual, but my husband could almost care less about getting it on as much as I would like to. I too have gone months, and before, I used to ask, but after getting turned down a few times, I got over that and tried to wait it out. Eff that. I became very pissy and bratty, because I felt less than desirable.

Turns out he has some "man" issues that we have to deal with and he now has to take testosterone injections. Even though I know what it is now, it still makes me pissy and bratty when its been a while. I can't help it. I'm really pissy and bratty right now. Its been almost 3 weeks now... *sigh*

So, I feel your pain.... *hugs*

Wait.... Huh.... What??? :noway: MONTHS?????? :noway: I am so naive, I had no clue the problem with some dudes was this serious!!!

my bad, it has been a month here and there, but happened over and over. He would do it to make me happy.

Whew! ok, thats not as bad.... still a month is bad, .... good luck to you too!! :frown:

it is still bad, but at least he took the initiative to get it checked out, because as a male in his mid 30's, he was rather concerned that he wasn't all that interested, too.

bry_all01

How old are they? Like 4, 5 months? Plenty old enough to kick em out of the house for a few hours!!! (Kidding of course)

It's not whining if you're trying to solve the problem.

Have you thought about getting a sitter and doing an evening away once a month or something (don't know if that's practical for you).

Pardon the TMI, but in my opinion there is very little in this world better than crazy hotel room sex, especially if you can spring for a room with a hot tub in it

^^ This

get a sitter and plan some alone time for the both of you..it can do a world of good!


I've always been worried about ending up with a guy who doesn't have a very high sex drive. I know mine could change but i don't think it will, i looooove sex. I seriously don't know how people can go months without it when they don't have to, with the last boyfriend i got incredibly crabby when I went without for 5 days lol!

well, you've been lucky. Just hope you never fall in love with and marry someone whose testosterone levels drop.

bry_all01

I guess you could talk to him and ask him why he's not attracted to you.......

wow, did you want to kick her again while she's down? You are old enough to know how incredibly rude that was. It is not always about attraction.

Mad_Dog_Muscle

omg, I thought it was just me...

I am EXTREMELY sexual, but my husband could almost care less about getting it on as much as I would like to. I too have gone months, and before, I used to ask, but after getting turned down a few times, I got over that and tried to wait it out. Eff that. I became very pissy and bratty, because I felt less than desirable.

Turns out he has some "man" issues that we have to deal with and he now has to take testosterone injections. Even though I know what it is now, it still makes me pissy and bratty when its been a while. I can't help it. I'm really pissy and bratty right now. Its been almost 3 weeks now... *sigh*

So, I feel your pain.... *hugs*

Wait.... Huh.... What??? :noway: MONTHS?????? :noway: I am so naive, I had no clue the problem with some dudes was this serious!!!

my bad, it has been a month here and there, but happened over and over. He would do it to make me happy.

Whew! ok, thats not as bad.... still a month is bad, .... good luck to you too!! :frown:

it is still bad, but at least he took the initiative to get it checked out, because as a male in his mid 30's, he was rather concerned that he wasn't all that interested, too.

Oh yea very true!! I applaud him for getting checked out, thats a start for sure! So many guys are stubborn and dont want to admit it could be medical.

BigBadVooDooBob

A few of the posts that I've read here mentioned that it could be a medical/psychological issue. I have to say that this is something well worth looking into. Couples counseling, or individual counselling, can be a huge help and don't be afraid to bring up the subject of anti-depressants. A-D's saved my life and my marriage, but it can be difficult for men to admit to depression.

strongnotskinny121

I agree with several people that he prolly has low testosterone and needs to see a doctor. My husband has a similar problem, where he is just not interested. I'm the same as you tho, I love sex and could do it every day! When we have had problems with this issue, I stopped asking ans started "taking care of myself." If you really want to get your message across, do it with him in the bed! My husband wasn't able to just lay there without getting involved!

cantjustcant

Iit is nice to know, but I do know what his issue is, so I feel really selfish when I act bratty, not to mention I ask when I want it, which is usually later in the evening after he's alrady taken his sleeping meds. But, hey, I want it when I want it... lol

After he takes his sleep meds? I was going to suggest that it could be a control issue but then I read this! You need to jump on it (so to speak) earlier!!!!

cantjustcant

I guess you could talk to him and ask him why he's not attracted to you.......

well, it's definitely NOT this! Just based on your profile picture, you are gorgeous!

ThePhoenixRose

I agree with several people that he prolly has low testosterone and needs to see a doctor. My husband has a similar problem, where he is just not interested. I'm the same as you tho, I love sex and could do it every day! When we have had problems with this issue, I stopped asking ans started "taking care of myself." If you really want to get your message across, do it with him in the bed! My husband wasn't able to just lay there without getting involved!

He can. I do it loudly too! :blushing:

There are times when I try, and he rolls over, pushes my hand away, etc. :huh:

ThePhoenixRose

I guess you could talk to him and ask him why he's not attracted to you.......

well, it's definitely NOT this! Just based on your profile picture, you are gorgeous!

Thank you! I appreciate it!

bry_all01

I agree with several people that he prolly has low testosterone and needs to see a doctor. My husband has a similar problem, where he is just not interested. I'm the same as you tho, I love sex and could do it every day! When we have had problems with this issue, I stopped asking ans started "taking care of myself." If you really want to get your message across, do it with him in the bed! My husband wasn't able to just lay there without getting involved!

He can. I do it loudly too! :blushing:

There are times when I try, and he rolls over, pushes my hand away, etc. :huh:

Been there once, too...nothing.

spaztastic13

Get yourself somes toys in the bedroom, maybe that will turn him on!!!!

bry_all01

Iit is nice to know, but I do know what his issue is, so I feel really selfish when I act bratty, not to mention I ask when I want it, which is usually later in the evening after he's alrady taken his sleeping meds. But, hey, I want it when I want it... lol

After he takes his sleep meds? I was going to suggest that it could be a control issue but then I read this! You need to jump on it (so to speak) earlier!!!!

Ya, I don't really know when he takes all his slew of anti-depressants, testosterone injection, heart pills, blood pressure pills, or his sleeping pills. I guess I could pay more attention and try to schedule my desire for a more desirable time to want it, lol.

mscoco10

WOW- he may be feeling some kind of way. Then again he just may not be as in to sex as you are. Try different things like special meals, or a weekend getaway. Do something different sexual. Watch some video's. Bring in some toys or something. Men do get bored very easily. Hoep it gets better real soon.

LuluGirl140

Usually, if someone doesn't want to have sex, it's because they don't feel sexy.

It probably has less to do with how he feels about you and much more to do with how he feels about himself.

I completely agree with this! Normally with my marriage he's the one always wanting and I'm the one turning him down. At one point the tables turned and I couldn't understand why he was turning me down. I even accused him of getting it elsewhere! He finally broke down and told me that I was losing weight and looking good and he still felt unsexy and fat and gross. So I started complimenting him more, grabbing his backside, or frontside :blushing: and basically letting him know that he's a sexy man and I love him. That seemed to do the trick.

Good luck to you!!!

cantjustcant

Iit is nice to know, but I do know what his issue is, so I feel really selfish when I act bratty, not to mention I ask when I want it, which is usually later in the evening after he's alrady taken his sleeping meds. But, hey, I want it when I want it... lol

After he takes his sleep meds? I was going to suggest that it could be a control issue but then I read this! You need to jump on it (so to speak) earlier!!!!

Ya, I don't really know when he takes all his slew of anti-depressants, testosterone injection, heart pills, blood pressure pills, or his sleeping pills. I guess I could pay more attention and try to schedule my desire for a more desirable time to want it, lol.

I used to have to time my desire to happen before he got drunk (ummm yeah every night). That left me a 2 hour time window between 5-7 pm. Unless of course the kids wanted dinner, or had homework, or had soccer practice, or had band practice.....

Qarol

I guess you could talk to him and ask him why he's not attracted to you.......

I appreciate the assumption that he's not attracted to me. That definitely helps.

While that was incredibly rude, I love how you handled it with subtle sarcasm. Would've gone right over some people's heads.

When my husband and I were dating, I got frisky one night, and he told me he was too tired. That's when our rule started. Because really, it's not always easy for both people to be in the mood at exactly the same time. I had a long talk with him about how his saying "no" to sex makes me feel. I asked him if he could remember a single time when I had ever turned him down. He couldn't. I then asked him if he would appreciate it if I turned HIM down. He wouldn't.

Sometimes you just do things for your partner in a committed relationship, and sometimes it's when you don't feel like it. And for me, who doesn't want it nearly as much as my husband, I do it anyway. I figure we owe each other that much.

ThePhoenixRose

I guess you could talk to him and ask him why he's not attracted to you.......

I appreciate the assumption that he's not attracted to me. That definitely helps.

While that was incredibly rude, I love how you handled it with subtle sarcasm. Would've gone right over some people's heads.

That's how I roll!


"I asked him if he could remember a single time when I had ever turned him down. He couldn't. I then asked him if he would appreciate it if I turned HIM down. He wouldn't." ~ quote from PP


Same here. I like your "rule" and maybe this weekend, when we're relaxed and semi-rested, I'll bring it up. Possibly adding in the stipulation that I won't expect it more than x times / week or something, so he doesn't think I'm going to envoke every night! I know he needs some sleep!