Poor female self-image caused by?

bry_all01

I once went 2 weeks after a crushing life experience where I would think I was hungry, get the food and the sight of it almost made me vomit. I would clean food out of the refigerator, because I didn't like seeing it. This is no joke, no lie and not something I am at all proud of, but it happened. Please don't tell me it can't happen, because it did. Clealy I drank water and cokes, but I did not eat food. Thank goodness I was able to pull out of that "funk" and get back to enjoying food again - it was scary, even for me.

That's really quite common with depression. I went through that after a really tough breakup. My mother brought me my favorite foods because I wasn't eating and even those made my stomach turn. I was literally living on apple cider for two straight weeks without feeling hungry at all.

But that's different than being anorexic. It's not about body image, it's about being depressed. When I wasn't depressed anymore, I started eating again.

that was one of my two issues, The other was anorexia when I quickly dropped 30 pounds, down to 100 pounds. That one was for control. A sickness, so no, the victim is not always at fault, because not everyone knows how to just shut it off. Its not that easy.

bry_all01

Hate to be a victim blamer but... isn't it kind of their own fault? Sure, you see gals on magazines and etc but you ultimately determine how you let it affect you. There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.

For me, it was never about how others looked at all. Mine was always something inside me, not a desire to look a certain way for others...

CrimsonHellkite

woman dont need men to make them insecure, they have done it to them selves for a long time, its all driven by gossip and depression and not all woman but alot are coniving, backstabbing, talking behind their"friends" back.biotches...

bry_all01

I agree with most of the previous posts but I also want to make note that there are some women who are personally attacked for being thin. If you don't want people to talk **** to you for being over weight you shouldn't talk **** to girls that are thin. There is a huge difference between being thin and healthy and being so thin its unhealthy. Skinny girls aren't to blame. Its SELF esteem aka it stems from you. No one else can control how you feel, only you can control how you feel.

so true. People used to tell me they wanted to force feed me sammich's, well, how woul they feel if I said I would steal their damn lunch and chunk it in the trash? I would NEVER say that, because I have a heart, but it would be the equivalent of what I've been told.

livnlite

i was having this argument with this friend of mine... she believes that men are the reason for girls having eating disorders and overall poor self image because we all want girls to look like models... i, on the other hand, believe that it was the women and gay guys who control the fashion industry that started this trend only recently... and by recently i mean that for thousands of years guys have liked girls with larger features because they are able to have more babies... even up to marilyn monroe who had a healthy amount of chunk on her... I for one like a little meat on a woman's bones, nothing is more unattractive that a stick figure.

now girls today sees this female run fashion industry with coke *kitten* models and think thats what theyre supposed to look like... guys may be watching this too and think thats what theyre supposed to think is hot, but it is an effect rather than a cause

I tend to somewhat agree that its the fashion and as you said coke *kitten* models, as they are so iconic and held on a pedastool. What girl doesn't want to be put up on a pedastool? But, I think there is more to it than just that. That would only fit for a few girls.

There are also girls whose words are colliding and crashing down all around them, and they feel completely out of control and lost. The ONE thing they KNOW they can control is food. (I do speak from experience). The decision to eat or not eat gives the person a sense of power and they feel they have gained back some sort of control in their otherwise spun out world. Its not healthy and can be scary, especially to loved ones, especially when the girl begins to like what she sees, or worse, still thinks she is still too big, when everyone else sees a bag of bones.

I once went 2 weeks after a crushing life experience where I would think I was hungry, get the food and the sight of it almost made me vomit. I would clean food out of the refigerator, because I didn't like seeing it. This is no joke, no lie and not something I am at all proud of, but it happened. Please don't tell me it can't happen, because it did. Clealy I drank water and cokes, but I did not eat food. Thank goodness I was able to pull out of that "funk" and get back to enjoying food again - it was scary, even for me.

You don't have to feel bad about appetite loss after a traumatic event. The brain deals with stress in strange ways at times. Posttraumatic stress is a very well documented condition. The loss of appetite is not uncommon in this circumstance. I'm glad you recovered and I hope all is well now.

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder:
Virtually any trauma, defined as an event that is life-threatening or that severely compromises the emotional well-being of an individual or causes intense fear, may cause PTSD. Such events often include either experiencing or witnessing a severe accident or physical injury, receiving a life-threatening medical diagnosis, being the victim of kidnapping or torture, exposure to war combat or to a natural disaster, exposure to other disaster (for example, plane crash) or terrorist attack, being the victim of rape, mugging, robbery, or assault, enduring physical, sexual, emotional, or other forms of abuse, as well as involvement in civil conflict. Although the diagnosis of PTSD currently requires that the sufferer has a history of experiencing a traumatic event as defined here, people may develop PTSD in reaction to events that may not qualify as traumatic but can be devastating life events like divorce or unemployment

it was seeig my birth father again after 13 years of not seeing him, then leaving. Once I came home from Hawaii, I had NO desire for 2 weeks.

Perhaps you were suffering a bout of depression. Something like that could trigger a lack of appetite.

servilia

I have poor self image from the comments my husband makes about how hot and beautiful some celebs are-guess cause he doesn't say it to me it gives me that poor imagery

You are really hot. Have you compared yourself to your husband lately? You're not the one who should be worried.

Dylanzmom

I have poor self image from the comments my husband makes about how hot and beautiful some celebs are-guess cause he doesn't say it to me it gives me that poor imagery

me TOO! And, I would be ok with it, if he told ME how hot, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, etc. he thought I was, too. Everyone else tells me all of the time, but he's the only one that matters....

Same here. I think i have gotten more compliments on here than my ex ever told me.

TheRoadDog

Hate to be a victim blamer but... isn't it kind of their own fault? Sure, you see gals on magazines and etc but you ultimately determine how you let it affect you. There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.

That's not entirely true. If you beat someone down long enough, they start to believe it. It's be nice to be able to overcome that with self realization, but sometimes the worst negativitiy comes from the people we look up to the most.

I hope you can can overcome the negativity in your own lives and become the positivity in the lives of those that turn to you.

fbmandy55

Hate to be a victim blamer but... isn't it kind of their own fault? Sure, you see gals on magazines and etc but you ultimately determine how you let it affect you. There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.

That's not entirely true. If you beat someone down long enough, they start to believe it. It's be nice to be able to overcome that with self realization, but sometimes the worst negativitiy comes from the people we look up to the most.

I hope you can can overcome the negativity in your own lives and become the positivity in the lives of those that turn to you.

Yes, this is what I was referring to in my post. That is exactly what I went through. I did have confidence but after 4 years of being beat down on a daily basis, I began to believe it too and stoped caring about myself at all.

banjjo

I think everyone is right to some degree....it completely depends on the person. I can say that all of the above has affected me in some way or another. It would take a long time to write about all the things that effect my self esteem when it comes to how I feel about how I look. Even as far as eating disorders go, I think again, it completely depends on the person. I agree it's a control issue and a way of handling stress, but I think different things can trigger one or make it worse. I wasn't going to post here because it's really all been said, but then I watched this video with Conan O'Brian and now I do feel much less than. This video is hilarious and I think the woman in it seems great, but I still feel less than. But that's not the media, just me and my issues!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/20/conan_n_971441.html

TheRoadDog

Hate to be a victim blamer but... isn't it kind of their own fault? Sure, you see gals on magazines and etc but you ultimately determine how you let it affect you. There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.

That's not entirely true. If you beat someone down long enough, they start to believe it. It's be nice to be able to overcome that with self realization, but sometimes the worst negativitiy comes from the people we look up to the most.

I hope you can can overcome the negativity in your own lives and become the positivity in the lives of those that turn to you.

Yes, this is what I was referring to in my post. That is exactly what I went through. I did have confidence but after 4 years of being beat down on a daily basis, I began to believe it too and stoped caring about myself at all.

That is incredibly unfortunate. The good news is you realize it and can work to overcome it.

The truth is that the person with the worst self-esteem is the person that beats others down in a misquided attempt to raise their own.

Cut those people out of you life.

For what it's worth, I think you are fabulous.

bry_all01

i was having this argument with this friend of mine... she believes that men are the reason for girls having eating disorders and overall poor self image because we all want girls to look like models... i, on the other hand, believe that it was the women and gay guys who control the fashion industry that started this trend only recently... and by recently i mean that for thousands of years guys have liked girls with larger features because they are able to have more babies... even up to marilyn monroe who had a healthy amount of chunk on her... I for one like a little meat on a woman's bones, nothing is more unattractive that a stick figure.

now girls today sees this female run fashion industry with coke *kitten* models and think thats what theyre supposed to look like... guys may be watching this too and think thats what theyre supposed to think is hot, but it is an effect rather than a cause

I tend to somewhat agree that its the fashion and as you said coke *kitten* models, as they are so iconic and held on a pedastool. What girl doesn't want to be put up on a pedastool? But, I think there is more to it than just that. That would only fit for a few girls.

There are also girls whose words are colliding and crashing down all around them, and they feel completely out of control and lost. The ONE thing they KNOW they can control is food. (I do speak from experience). The decision to eat or not eat gives the person a sense of power and they feel they have gained back some sort of control in their otherwise spun out world. Its not healthy and can be scary, especially to loved ones, especially when the girl begins to like what she sees, or worse, still thinks she is still too big, when everyone else sees a bag of bones.

I once went 2 weeks after a crushing life experience where I would think I was hungry, get the food and the sight of it almost made me vomit. I would clean food out of the refigerator, because I didn't like seeing it. This is no joke, no lie and not something I am at all proud of, but it happened. Please don't tell me it can't happen, because it did. Clealy I drank water and cokes, but I did not eat food. Thank goodness I was able to pull out of that "funk" and get back to enjoying food again - it was scary, even for me.

You don't have to feel bad about appetite loss after a traumatic event. The brain deals with stress in strange ways at times. Posttraumatic stress is a very well documented condition. The loss of appetite is not uncommon in this circumstance. I'm glad you recovered and I hope all is well now.

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder:
Virtually any trauma, defined as an event that is life-threatening or that severely compromises the emotional well-being of an individual or causes intense fear, may cause PTSD. Such events often include either experiencing or witnessing a severe accident or physical injury, receiving a life-threatening medical diagnosis, being the victim of kidnapping or torture, exposure to war combat or to a natural disaster, exposure to other disaster (for example, plane crash) or terrorist attack, being the victim of rape, mugging, robbery, or assault, enduring physical, sexual, emotional, or other forms of abuse, as well as involvement in civil conflict. Although the diagnosis of PTSD currently requires that the sufferer has a history of experiencing a traumatic event as defined here, people may develop PTSD in reaction to events that may not qualify as traumatic but can be devastating life events like divorce or unemployment

it was seeig my birth father again after 13 years of not seeing him, then leaving. Once I came home from Hawaii, I had NO desire for 2 weeks.

Perhaps you were suffering a bout of depression. Something like that could trigger a lack of appetite.

yeppers, that's what I said about the loss of appetite for 2 weeks. The other time where I had lost 30 pounds from lack of eating was more anorexia, because I felt the need to have some control.

bry_all01

Hate to be a victim blamer but... isn't it kind of their own fault? Sure, you see gals on magazines and etc but you ultimately determine how you let it affect you. There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.

and, its NEVER the victims fault.

calibri

Hate to be a victim blamer but... isn't it kind of their own fault? Sure, you see gals on magazines and etc but you ultimately determine how you let it affect you. There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.

That's not entirely true. If you beat someone down long enough, they start to believe it. It's be nice to be able to overcome that with self realization, but sometimes the worst negativitiy comes from the people we look up to the most.

I hope you can can overcome the negativity in your own lives and become the positivity in the lives of those that turn to you.

I'm just too arrogant to let it affect me.

piezoeyjune

I blame it on my mom...

sorry mom I do love you but youre not very good in the supportive role...

I tend to ignore the mags b/c I know that is not possible for me at all.

SixCatFaerie

Well, if you're going to blame it on the fashion industry, blame it on Twiggy -- she was the first. Before her, all the models were curvy. Then she came along and was so different that everyone wanted to be like her. :noway:

But I don't think it's a single reason, or a single person. Poor body image and the quest for the perfect body have been around for millennia. If they hadn't, women wouldn't have been lacing themselves into bone corsets that restricted their breathing, or squeezing their feet into too-small boots, or binding their feet, or wearing those horrible bustles on their dresses.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

Steven

Dear Posters,

A word about why I'm locking this thread.

We received some complaints, and I think a lot of the debate is healthy so I want to leave the conversation standing for those who would like to read it.

However, our forum rules state:

8) No derogatory or offensive references to sex, gender, ethnicity, religions, or sexual orientation

So, blaming "the gays who run the fashion industry" is not acceptable under the terms of the site. Neither are any sweeping statements that generalize the actions of a single ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religious group.

Please feel free to start a fresh thread to discuss the important topic of body image, but please avoid stereotyping groups of people in the process.

Thanks for your understanding,
Steven
MyFitnessPal Staff