Feeling like the worst person ever
This week I started another job, and in the beginning of september I went back to college- so now I am working two jobs and going to school, which means I am up by 7 to shower and let my fiance's dogs out, out of the house by 7:15 and working until 5:30 and then I have to go to class or do schoolwork until about 7:45 or 8:00. And when I am done with that I have to eat dinner, find time to work out, clean the house and do laundry. Needless to say, I am busy. But this morning, I was so exhausted and I overslept until 7:10, ten measly minutes, then rocketed out of bed, to brush my teeth, get dressed and grab leftovers out of the fridge for lunch- which is all I had time for in those 5 minutes. I got to work and realized I was wearing sneakers at work, and had no makeup on. Which never happens. I also realized that I didn't let his dogs out. As if he could read my mind my fiance just texted me and asked me if I let them out, and my heart sank because I knew I didn't, but I did the right thing and apologized, and told him the truth. He is now royally pissed, and thinks I did it out of spite (because he knows I don't like his dogs too much- lots of hair in a 1 bedroom apartment with 2 german shepherds). I didn't do it out of spite, I am not that kind of person, I am just an exhausted, overworked, overwhelmed person trying to do the right thing, while trying to make a living and earn a college degree. I don't even know what to say to him to make it better. This is a really big deal to him (even though I don't think it is because the dogs went out at 6:30 when he got up and went to work) but it is important to him so it has to be important to me. I wish he could understand that I am trying to do the best thing for both of us by working this much and getting a degree, and sometimes people make mistakes.
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Replies
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It's important to him so it has to be important to you?
What about what's important to you? He should realize all that you do and how overwhelmed you are.
It was a mistake. Seems like it's something that doesn't happen often. Tell him to get the stick out of his *kitten* and get over it.0 -
Steal 30-40% of his DVD collection and break up with him.
-wtk0 -
It's important to him so it has to be important to you?
What about what's important to you? He should realize all that you do and how overwhelmed you are.
It was a mistake. Seems like it's something that doesn't happen often. Tell him to get the stick out of his *kitten* and get over it.
THIS
Every word.0 -
He needs to suck it up, and recognize all that YOU do in the relationship. They are his dogs...what is keeping him from taking care of them? No offense, but they are not Your dogs...they are HIS dogs.
As a dog owner, I takre the responsibility for my dogs and their care. No, I am not one fo these over-the-top-love-my-dogs-greater-than-a-person-cause-they-are-family...no, dogs are Pets. If you want them, take care of them as You want. Sine they are Not yours, they are Not YOUR responsibility.
Tell you fiance to grow up. God forgive you ever have children and he expects the same where he has little respoinsibility0 -
By the way...GREAT looking horse
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Why does something important to him have to be importatn to you? You are an individual. Don't worry about him being upset, you are already overwhelmed as it is, don't let him make you feel like a bad person because you forgot to take HIS dog out one time.. You forgot one time! Sounds like he needs to get whatever stick he has in his *kitten* and pull it out.0
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I know what it's like to wake up at a dead run and go non stop .. Do it daily .. and have been doing it for more years than I can remember. It's just a way of life. Having 2 jobs and going to school is definately a difficult life plan .. although temporary it doesn't come without consequence.
Your post got me to thinking though .. You mention what was important to you, you mentioned what was important to him .. I now wonder, anyone thinking about what's important to those dogs? Are they locked up all day without a bathroom break until you get home at the end of the day? I for one would hold that as MY first and foremost concern.0 -
thank you everyone (I think my horse is goodlooking too)!! i don't know why, but he has an uncanny talent for making me feel really guilty for things that shouldn't matter! it is a talent that i wish i had so i could use it on him when he leaves piles of sweaty socks on my porch for me to pick up and wash!0
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He needs to suck it up, and recognize all that YOU do in the relationship. They are his dogs...what is keeping him from taking care of them? No offense, but they are not Your dogs...they are HIS dogs.
As a dog owner, I takre the responsibility for my dogs and their care. No, I am not one of these over-the-top-love-my-dogs-greater-than-a-person-cause-they-are-family...no, dogs are Pets. If you want them, take care of them as You want. Since they are Not yours, they are Not YOUR responsibility.
Tell you fiance to grow up. God forgive you ever have children and he expects the same where he has little responsibility
This. I would never expect anyone to take care of my dog. They're big dogs, they'll survive.0 -
I know what it's like to wake up at a dead run and go non stop .. Do it daily .. and have been doing it for more years than I can remember. It's just a way of life. Having 2 jobs and going to school is definately a difficult life plan .. although temporary it doesn't come without consequence.
Your post got me to thinking though .. You mention what was important to you, you mentioned what was important to him .. I now wonder, anyone thinking about what's important to those dogs? Are they locked up all day without a bathroom break until you get home at the end of the day? I for one would hold that as MY first and foremost concern.
The dogs got let out from 6:00-6:45 to run/play/use the bathroom, and then they are in the crates til about 3. its only 15 extra minutes, and there have been days when we have BOTH been so stinkin busy that HE has by choice left the dogs at home for longer than 10 hours and they were fine, and I was the one worrying, he is just mad because I was the one 'slacking'0 -
It was a mistake...things happen! He will get over it, and hopefully the dogs won't make a mess today.
On a side note, two German Shepards in a one bedroom apartment (left alone all day?) seems a bit uncomfortable to me! I love dogs, but that's just not right!0 -
He needs to suck it up, and recognize all that YOU do in the relationship. They are his dogs...what is keeping him from taking care of them? No offense, but they are not Your dogs...they are HIS dogs.
As a dog owner, I takre the responsibility for my dogs and their care. No, I am not one fo these over-the-top-love-my-dogs-greater-than-a-person-cause-they-are-family...no, dogs are Pets. If you want them, take care of them as You want. Sine they are Not yours, they are Not YOUR responsibility.
Tell you fiance to grow up. God forgive you ever have children and he expects the same where he has little respoinsibility
What he said!!!!0 -
Tell him that if he is going to be uptight about everything in life that he will not be a happy camper very much. Same thing goes for you. Have him recognize that you acknowledge the fact that his dogs were forgotten about _once_. That things happen and that he messes up too and if you are calmer about it with him when he screws up he should do the same. Your relationship isn't going to be very solid if you both are worried all the time and trying to shove mistakes down each other's throats. It's about being a team, recognizing the flaws and attempting to work on them together.
My most blunt comment is that make sure he's not holding you back and is making you happy. And that you do the same for him. Everything else will fall in place.0 -
It was a mistake...things happen! He will get over it, and hopefully the dogs won't make a mess today.
On a side note, two German Shepards in a one bedroom apartment (left alone all day?) seems a bit uncomfortable to me! I love dogs, but that's just not right!
They are actually really good and never mess their crates- the sad thing is, I liked the ONE that we had for a year, but DH got the second one basically without asking me. they are so expensive and big and shed a lot. but then again, complaining gets me nowhere!0 -
Wait, they're HIS dogs? Yet your responsibility to take care of? :huh:
And I never wear makeup to work. Nor do much with my hair. I just don't care enough about these people and what they think. I look fine without all the fuss, and I get to sleep a bit later.0 -
Stuff happens. The real issue here is your relationship with your BF.0
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I think you owe him an ORAL apology.
By this I mean in person with your words. sheesh
BTW I didn't read the entire post. It was a lot of words and my eyes are feeling lazy this morning0 -
I know what it's like to wake up at a dead run and go non stop .. Do it daily .. and have been doing it for more years than I can remember. It's just a way of life. Having 2 jobs and going to school is definately a difficult life plan .. although temporary it doesn't come without consequence.
Your post got me to thinking though .. You mention what was important to you, you mentioned what was important to him .. I now wonder, anyone thinking about what's important to those dogs? Are they locked up all day without a bathroom break until you get home at the end of the day? I for one would hold that as MY first and foremost concern.
The dogs got let out from 6:00-6:45 to run/play/use the bathroom, and then they are in the crates til about 3. its only 15 extra minutes, and there have been days when we have BOTH been so stinkin busy that HE has by choice left the dogs at home for longer than 10 hours and they were fine, and I was the one worrying, he is just mad because I was the one 'slacking'
They were 'fine'?? ... AFTER 10 HRS ??? Are you kidding me?
Sure, they may seem fine .. because they can't communiticate their distress of having a full bladder and cramped from being in a crate for 10 .. I repeat 10 hours! .. as if 8 hours isn't bad enough!
Have you EVER considered doing that yourself? How would you feel after say 4 hrs ? 6 hrs? 10 hrs? with no bathroom break. Krikey .. have you EVER gone on a long distance trip trapped in a car? After a few hours .. how do you feel sitting in one position the whole time .. YOU feel the need to empty your bladder and stretch your legs, right?
I don't know how else to say this ... DOGS FEEL PAIN AND DISCOMFORT EXACTLY THE SAME AS PEOPLE .. The only difference is they can't communicate it. Even after suffering the discomfort to the degree they do, they have the uncanning ability to feel elation when you finally do get home.
Good Grief!!!! People .. What are you thinking?0 -
Sweetie, think long and hard before you take the plunge with this ungrateful SOB. Seriously, any question from him via text or otherwise as to how your day is going? Or is a continuous stream of ways of making you feel guilty? Are you secure enough about yourself where you can truly put what's important to you FIRST? I am all for commitment and working hard for a relationship, but what's he giving? Sounds like a lot of grief to me for an honest mistake.
Please, do yourself a favor and make sure you're ok with sticking with this guy the rest of your life!!0 -
Stuff happens. The real issue here is your relationship with your BF.
this. it sounds like there are some really serious problems here.0 -
Tell the douche to chill the eff out and not get his panties in a twist.
And not EVERYTHING has to be important to the both of you. Promise.0 -
Tell the douche to chill the eff out and not get his panties in a twist.
And not EVERYTHING has to be important to the both of you. Promise.
Love the pic! Great movie!0 -
i know they do- and they have only once in their lives been left at home for an extended period of time for a funeral 2 states away that we were at- 4 hours there, 4 hours back, 1 hour funeral, 1 hour interment, that all of our friends/family were at. Unavoidable. I have had animals all my life and love them dearly, I spend more money on them than I do myself, and never mistreat them0
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Steal 30-40% of his DVD collection and break up with him.
-wtk
:laugh:
Ok seriously though, it was an accident, they'll be fine. He needs to not go overboard on the pissed-off meter. If he can't let it go and it comes up again, perhaps he needs to be reminded that YOU have a lot going on and things that are important to you on your mind!0 -
I think you should hurry up and marry him and make his life a living hell.0
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I think you should hurry up and marry him and make his life a living hell.
hahahaha right!0 -
My other suggestion, have that fiance train his freaking dogs so they don't have to be crated.0
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[They were 'fine'?? ... AFTER 10 HRS ??? Are you kidding me?
We used to leave our dog (a pit bull) for about 10 hours a day (occasionally longer when unavoidable) and she did just fine. Sometimes she didn't even need (or want) to go out when we got home, and almost never went in the house...at least not till she was sick the last few months of her life, and couldn't control it..
Its not an ideal situation though, and for that reason, we don't plan to get another dog anytime soon. We also have a pretty big house (she had the run of it) and yard. Apartments and dogs are another story though - that's a lot more work!0 -
My other suggestion, have that fiance train his freaking dogs so they don't have to be crated.
And THIS!0 -
the funny thing is- they love their crates, they have bones and chew toys in there
We never used the crates as punishment so it is just somewhere they like to be- half the time we are home, they lay in the crates (which are wide open) out of choice0
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