Is Flirting REALLY Harmless?

AmberMagdalena

I think minimal flirting is harmless under a couple of circumtances.

1) You're out one night and you dance and flirt a bit, never to see that person again.
2) You flirt with someone who you will never meet (e.g. online, penpal) and you have made it clear it is nothing more than that.
3) It's someone that you have a mutual understanding that things will NEVER go further than that, EVER.

Flirting is human nature. We all want to feel beautiful, sexy, and wanted. Even with a full time partner, a busy life may get in the way of your basic human needs. You may love and be in love, never to love another again, but you still crave that feeling of sexiness that a busy partner may not always be able to provide. I think flirting is healthy. It's kind of annoying when people say stuff like "I love my man, he's my best friend, I don't need anyone else!". Because frankly, that's not normal. You're probably smothering your "man"....

cnsmith2

flirting itself is harmless...but sometimes it can lead to actions or perceptions that aren't. It's a line and you have to be very careful about not crossing it.

sjmgde

Call me old-fashioned, but I think flirting is not acceptable if you are married. I believe sex isn't the only way to cheat. You can have an emotional affair that starts with simple flirting. What starts out as harmless exchange of words or looks can quickly change to more. I think a lot of cheating probably starts with non-chalaunt flirting.

Well put well put :happy:

cloneme_losehalf

Flirting is dependant on the purpose and is also mistaken. As a hairstylist, I can say I have been called a flirt MANY of times. Call it what you will. I am full of kind words, smiles, etc. I know when I am flirting and I know when I am being nice. It's not my fault if someone else reads into it!

dmpizza

I worked with a guy that could walk through an office grabbing women's chests and the ladies swooned over him and understood it was nothing more than flirting.
Very few people can do this, for most people it should not go beyond "you look nice today".

Of course all bets are off for lapdances.

rwd5046

It's all about the intention...............it can be harmless......................it can also be harmful.

gogirl1371

If you are single Go For It! However, if you are in a committed relationship just imagine your significant other carrying on and flirting with someone else and ask yourself how you would feel. If it is a behavior you would use in front of your spouse or wouldn't mind them acting that way with another woman/man than you are probably fine. However, remember the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you... remember Karma's a *****.

Krull_the_WarriorKing

So wait a minute... let me get this straight.... all you married people aren't going to leave your husbands and be my sister wives? Gawd.... I already ordered matching leather suits for everyone.

boomboom011

i personally believe if you are in a relationship and if you are doing something that you wouldnt do if your SO was standing right next to you then its wrong.

DannyMussels

If you are single Go For It! However, if you are in a committed relationship just imagine your significant other carrying on and flirting with someone else and ask yourself how you would feel. If it is a behavior you would use in front of your spouse or wouldn't mind them acting that way with another woman/man than you are probably fine. However, remember the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you... remember Karma's a *****.

I completely agree here.

I see tons of people in relationships or married that do it, and I know more often then not it seems to cross the line (but nobody ever knows/finds out).

One lady I worked with had 'single' on her Facebook for like 8 months, and she was married with kids. wtf......

macpatti

If single, flirting can be harmless or it can be dangerous. Depends on how it's done and with whom.

If you're married, no good can come from flirting with someone other than your spouse.

Hoppymom

Call me old-fashioned, but I think flirting is not acceptable if you are married. I believe sex isn't the only way to cheat. You can have an emotional affair that starts with simple flirting. What starts out as harmless exchange of words or looks can quickly change to more. I think a lot of cheating probably starts with non-chalaunt flirting.

Agreed...Flirting opens up pathway to a relationship that if you are married can be seen as cheating, if you are sharing parts of yourself (non-sexual) that should be shared with your spouse. Fortunately my husband and I see eye-to-eye on this one. That part of why we've lasted 35 years. Friendly is one thing flirting crosses a line. Flirt with your spouse; it keeps the relationship fresh.:happy: :flowerforyou:

quichebradford

Now, if you are flirting to make someone feel better, then, I'd say yes. If you are flirting with intent to take it further, no, If the flirting does go further, i.e. emotionally connected with said flirt and/or physical contact, definitely NO. Never. Also, if you flirt openly and your significant other knows about it, one thing, but if you do it secretly, like you have something to hide, big flashy warning signals should go off as a big no no.

It can be harmless if you know your boundaries and do not cross them. What do you think?

It's the intent, I feel, that gets things all messed up. My husband, for instance, talks to EVERYBODY everywhere he goes, and most of the time it's women. There are times when I'm on the phone with him while he's in the store and he's just choppin it up with the cashier...saying nice little things that I know if I were the cashier would make me feel so special. But, that's just his personality, he does that to most women he meets. His intention is not to have a relationship/affair with these women, he just like to make them feel good about themselves. There is a line, and when you're in a relationship you should know where that line is...you simply don't cross it.

Johnnyswife

Short answer, no.

Not in my world anyway.

Call me old-fashioned, but I think flirting is not acceptable if you are married. I believe sex isn't the only way to cheat. You can have an emotional affair that starts with simple flirting. What starts out as harmless exchange of words or looks and quickly change to more. I think a lot of cheating probably starts with non-chalaunt flirting.

^ that has a lot to do with why I don't feel it is harmless

If you're single, then whatever. But if you're in a relationship, it's a total no-go.

Yes. I agree with this as well. I don't flirt because I don't want to hurt my husband in any way. If I saw/heard/read any type of flirty banter between him and another woman, I would be crushed, no matter how innocent it might be. I feel like that kind of attention should stay in a marriage.

If your single, you still need to be careful, cause like another poster said, some people take the attention as an invite to cross a line. But its not bad if your single. Your free and no one will get hurt.

So wait a minute... let me get this straight.... all you married people aren't going to leave your husbands and be my sister wives? Gawd.... I already ordered matching leather suits for everyone.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

macpatti

Now, if you are flirting to make someone feel better, then, I'd say yes. If you are flirting with intent to take it further, no, If the flirting does go further, i.e. emotionally connected with said flirt and/or physical contact, definitely NO. Never. Also, if you flirt openly and your significant other knows about it, one thing, but if you do it secretly, like you have something to hide, big flashy warning signals should go off as a big no no.

It can be harmless if you know your boundaries and do not cross them. What do you think?

It's the intent, I feel, that gets things all messed up. My husband, for instance, talks to EVERYBODY everywhere he goes, and most of the time it's women. There are times when I'm on the phone with him while he's in the store and he's just choppin it up with the cashier...saying nice little things that I know if I were the cashier would make me feel so special. But, that's just his personality, he does that to most women he meets. His intention is not to have a relationship/affair with these women, he just like to make them feel good about themselves. There is a line, and when you're in a relationship you should know where that line is...you simply don't cross it.

But, would you consider what HEB does as "flirting", or just being friendly and nice? There's a difference there. He may think he's innocently flirting because he has not intention behind it, but what if the person on the receiving end doesn't understand that?

Carl01

Each to their own and all can be respected...as for me go ahead and flirt away.:drinker:

sunkisses

Depends on the intent behind the flirt. There are a lot of married/committed people who flirt and then pull the 'ol "It just happened" line. Nah, buddy, you set it up to happen. Some people do it to get their foot in the door because they're going through stuff in their relationships and want relief or to give their partner a reason to leave them.

If it's truly just to feel attractive and desired by someone with no desire whatsoever for it to go further - yeah, it's harmless. A lot of people need to evaluate their own intentions though.

LaDiablesse

depends

but if you're in a relationship there is a rule...

If them doing what you are doing would upset you, it's wrong.

I agree with this.

I think it can be harmless, but it depends on the two people involved. What one person considers just flirting, someone else may take it as someone showing interest. I've seen it happen many times. One former friend stands out in my head. Girl in a relationship continuously "flirting" with a guy friend. Overly sexual type stuff. He didn't take it as just simple flirting & she couldn't understand why this guy friend started wanting more than just friendship or why he started telling her stuff about how her current boyfriend wasn't right for her, etc... From what I understand, she's had many instances of this happening & always plays the innocent citing it's "harmless flirting".

Jade_Butterfly

Depends on what your definition of flirting is. . .and what the circumstances involved are. . . I think there are different levels of flirting. . There is also a time and a place for everything. . . Enough said. . .

Genem30

I'm not much of a flirter, but I did have a lady flirt with me a bit in the elevator about a week ago. Harmless or not, my self-esteem went up like 100% for an hour or so after that.

I'm all for more of that.