Is Flirting REALLY Harmless?

Suziq2you

Flirting, in and of itself, is harmless.

It doesn't have to be a gateway behavior to infidelity.

I flirt all the time. Never cheated in over 20 years. My wife flirts with all my friends. Hasn't slept with a single one of them.

^^This

My husband and I flirt all the time. We even flirt with each other.

messyinthekitchen

I’ve heard people say, “I'm a harmless flirt”…but is there really such a thing?

What if the person being flirted with takes it seriously?

What are your thoughts?

I think flirting is harmless if your both single. But if you have a spouse and you wouldn't do it in front of them then it's wrong. Or if they do and you wouldn't do it in front of their spouse. I personally wouldn't. But I see it on here all the time. I think MFP needs a relationship status at this point, so people can know if the person is a grease ball or not.

Genem30

Men thinking I'm flirting with them if I ask what time it is so I really don't see any way to avoid it.

Obviously it's TIME TO GET IT ON! :laugh:

2Heavy2Long

Some people do it to get their foot in the door

Is that what they mean by "getting it in" on that Jersey Shore show?

CraigG75

Kind of touch and go subject. I would say it's all about boundaries and respect for the other person.

mrmarius

Depends on the people involved, i play and joke all the time but im not trying to hook up with anyone so i say harmless bur orhers will say harmful

pain_is_weakness

I think it depends on the two people and how they take it. If it makes you lust after the person, obviously not harmless. If it is more of a joke, harmless.

I use to flirt, but some people took it too seriously and now, out of respect for my marriage and my husband, family, ect, I do not flirt really.

lilyinlove

I think minimal flirting is harmless under a couple of circumtances.

1) You're out one night and you dance and flirt a bit, never to see that person again.
2) You flirt with someone who you will never meet (e.g. online, penpal) and you have made it clear it is nothing more than that.
3) It's someone that you have a mutual understanding that things will NEVER go further than that, EVER.

Flirting is human nature. We all want to feel beautiful, sexy, and wanted. Even with a full time partner, a busy life may get in the way of your basic human needs. You may love and be in love, never to love another again, but you still crave that feeling of sexiness that a busy partner may not always be able to provide. I think flirting is healthy. It's kind of annoying when people say stuff like "I love my man, he's my best friend, I don't need anyone else!". Because frankly, that's not normal. You're probably smothering your "man"....

That is exactly what I would have said...But you put it in so much better words.

redhead91

If flirting is the difference between $25 of tips a night vs $125 in tips then I say flirting is good! If you're just flirting to get some kind of ego boost, then I think it's bad.

pain_is_weakness

I’ve heard people say, “I'm a harmless flirt”…but is there really such a thing?

What if the person being flirted with takes it seriously?

What are your thoughts?

I think flirting is harmless if your both single. But if you have a spouse and you wouldn't do it in front of them then it's wrong. Or if they do and you wouldn't do it in front of their spouse. I personally wouldn't. But I see it on here all the time. I think MFP needs a relationship status at this point, so people can know if the person is a grease ball or not.

I agree if you wouldn't do it in front of your spouse, then don't do it

tmiqueen

There are two different kinds of flirts, in my opinion (maybe three):
1) Flirting with the intention to not only snare the attention of the opposite sex, but to entice them into a relationship with them.
2) Flirting with the intention of teasing to gain friendly attention, or compliment to make someone feel good about themselves (or to make the flirty person feel good about themselves).
3) Being friendly, which is interpreted as flirting.

People tell me all the time that I'm such a flirt, but I don't think I am at all. I'm simply being friendly and not in an overt fashion, in my opinion. I have facial expressions that are interpreted as flirtatious, when I'm just winking to show them that I'm not serious about a sarcastic comment or joke that I made, lest my deadpan humor be construed seriously. I have an eyebrow raise that looks like I'm come-hithering you when I've really got a muscle out of whack that does so when I try to raise both of them at the same time.

That said, I had a guy from work (married) who flirted shamelessly with me (single). When he would say inappropriate things like that to me, I'd say "What would your wife think about that comment?" or "Should I rip your arm off for patting my butt or should I just have your wife do it?" (Nobody ever accused me of being a doormat....at least not recently anyway. LOL)

philOHIO

I have only flirted with girls when my wife was with me, like at a party, or with close friends. The wife and the "flirtee" knew I don't mean anything by it. Ten years go by before I knew it bothered her. So I don't anymore.

livnlite

I guess it depends on whether or not the parties in question are 'available'. Flirting is a form of 'play' ...

­­Misunderstanding the signals can lead to some uncomfortable and embarrassing situations. The most important aspect of flirting is the intention behind it. Sometimes the words used are very innocent, but the speaker's delivery, expression or mannerisms make them appear flirtatious. It can be difficult to know when someone is flirting with you or who might be receptive to your flirting.

Although, I believe you can innocently flirt and you can also flirt with intention .. it still comes down to 'intention'. There is huge difference between the two.

spyork

Men thinking I'm flirting with them if I ask what time it is so I really don't see any way to avoid it.

You could buy a watch??

A flirt is ok if it is taken as just that, some people get all the wrong signals and take it too far.

PonyTailedLoser

No.

riksheare

My wife and I have a rule, "If you wouldn't do it in front of me, then you shouldn't be doing it." Its our definition of cheating. Applies to all things.

I_give_it_2_u_str8

OP u need to get your own daytime show. you would b a perfect fit for oprahs old slot.

Iamfit4life

OP u need to get your own daytime show. you would b a perfect fit for oprahs old slot.

LOL
I've always thought the same.

i_love_vinegar

it kinda depends on context <.<

samcee

Harmless if you're single!!

My wife and I have a rule, "If you wouldn't do it in front of me, then you shouldn't be doing it." Its our definition of cheating. Applies to all things.

Thats a good one!

hikeout470

I am with those that agree that if your significant other were doing it, and it would hurt you, then don't do it. What my question is what is flirting for you? I personally am not a natural flirty girl unless I am with my boyfriend. We have our own made up language and inside jokes, I would never say certain things to other men, unless in his presence and they knew I was joking. I have said, my you look handsome today to some co-workers as a compliment but I don't really consider that flirting.

hikeout470

On the other hand, I've had men think my being nice is an open invitation that I am interested and it is certainly not! Maybe they grew up in an environment around *****y women, but we were never permitted to act that way in my family.