Spouse apathy towards weight loss

Blackthorne99

Does your spouse perhaps need to lose a little weight too? It may not be apathy so much as they don't want the pressure to make that same change for themselves, so they 'just don't go there'.

Change is stressful, even good change. If you keep going, and they don't find a way to come along, it may be that you reach a fork in the road where you have to make a long term decision. On the weight loss surgery boards, there was a study published that the incidence of divorce is higher amongst WLS patients than the general public. I think it's because one person was ready to change their life, and the other wasn't.

Nanadena

Some people are afraid of change for various reasons. My hubby did not want me to lose for whatever reason. I have reached goal and he compliments me all of the time! Go figure:noway:

zeeeb

yep, you can't rely on anyone else to help you on your journey. you just have to do it and hope they are jealous enough of your sexy next body and fantastic new attitude that they get their butts into gear and join you.

it's hard to go without while your buddy is munching out on a big bag of chips and a bucket of coke, but it's worth it.

PJilly

Keep losing weight but don't talk about it with the spouse.

Yep. That's how I do it.

eddiegirll

I don't know how to deal with it, except try to include him/her in on the eating healthy & exercising. It sounds like he/she may feel like he/she isn't getting the attention like your diet is, that is what I hear. Like I'm on that pc all the time, how do I expect to lose weight?

My suggestions is not to look outside the marriage for a champion! Not a good idea, the marriage is a team work in progress! Just love one another each and every day, don't let a weight issue, pros or cons get in the way!

LJCannon

My problem is my husband is way too interested in my weight loss. Too stressful!

This is EXACTLY what I am dealing with!! He talks about it constantly, and to Strangers and random people on the street!
:grumble: :frown: :huh:

drkrvnchld

I am actually the bad guy in my marriage when it comes to giving a crap.

My wife and I are both trying to get healthy and lose weight. Since the beginning of the year she has lost nearly 30 pounds and I have lost 35. She wants to CONSTANTLY talk about "what's next" or talk about new goals while we are sitting at a sushi bar stuffing our face with raw fish, rice and hot green tea. Then she starts telling everyone about it and just constantly talks and talks and talks about it. I'm trying to get us lined up to take a vacation to Peru next year and I can't even get her to talk about that! A $10,000 vacation!!!! My wife was never fat. She went from 137 to 107. She's 5'4".

I myself am pretty quiet about the weight loss. I use MFP to keep motivated. I research what I want to know and when someone notices and gives me a compliment, I say THANKS. Not everyone wants to hear my story. If they want to, they will ask. My wife does not get this.

My point is, not everyone wants it in their face. Not everyone wants to live it 24/7. I know I can't. I work full time, have 2 part time "jobs" and have a few "side projects" (project cars, bands, hobbies). People will come around when you're not constantly smothering them with it.

Shishkeberry

I've been very lucky that my boyfriend has been so supportive. And due to the changes that I have made when I grocery shop and cook (and even when he cooks, too--he measures ingredients for me now) he's lost about 20lbs as well. He won't make his own account here and I'm not pushing it, but the changes I made for myself made ripples in my whole family. Everyone has been eating better since May.

ziggylove

I long ago came to the conclusion that no one is ever going to be as interested in you as you are in yourself, so I have never expected anyone else to have any interest in my weight loss. Or dress sense, or anything else, really. In fact, I am always rather baffled when people DO comment on those things.

If you live life with the basic premise that most people just aren't that interested, you avoid the disappointment when they aren't. I am not saying that in a fatalistic way. They really aren't.

This is really true. Though for the OP it is a bit odd that a spouse would be apathetic because you'd think he/she would be generally supportive. That said, my hubby doesn't seem especially interested in the *details* of my weight loss plan, though I know he wants me to be successful and happier about myself. He's been losing some weight himself too though in his own way (not using MFP).

vannie18

How do you all deal with a spouse who isn't really interested in your weight loss?

HAH! When I first started this, my hubby would ask me what I was cooking for dinner. I would tell him roast chicken and veggies. And he would ALWAYS tell me, "well that doesn't sound good." So I ended up making myself a separate dinner. Then he wanted to know why our grocery bill was so high and why I was throwing away so much food. I told him it was because I made a healthy meal for myself and refuse to eat the crap food. So he says that he wants to eat healthy and asks me what's for dinner. Roast chicken and veggies. It still doesn't sound good so I told him that Burger King was right down the street and I refused to cook for him.



Now he's on board. He eats what I cook and he's lost 30 lbs.

LOL Good for you!!