Flirting

ShapeUpSidney

It's normal. It's natural...and I'm sure everyone does it.

So why does it make you feel like absolute dirt when your partner does it? Or is that just me.

When I see my partner ogling facebook photos of other women, or making complimentary posts about their photos...it makes me want to curl up into a ball and die.

This can't be healthy, normal behavior. What can I do to overcome it?

voluptuous_veggie

That's an issue with yourself. You need to find the self-love and confidence in yourself you deserve. It's human nature to look...to compliment...to "flirt". Love yourself, be comfortable in your skin, and you won't see this bothering you as much.

lyngoode

Truly, my hubby never comments about another female in front of me! What a great guy!

indycello

Honestly... there is nothing wrong in a little playful flirting... however, what he is doing isn't flirting it is just disrespectful to you. Have you spoken to him about it? He needs to know its bothering you.

ShapeUpSidney

That's an issue with yourself. You need to find the self-love and confidence in yourself you deserve. It's human nature to look...to compliment...to "flirt". Love yourself, be comfortable in your skin, and you won't see this bothering you as much.

But I love the way I look, so I don't get why I'm so bothered...

Hollywood821

Men are visual creatures (so are women if you want my opinion). As long as your boyfriend is coming home to you, don't sweat it!

SergeantSunshine_reused

Im actually the same exact way. Weird thing is i have never seen my bf even flirt with girls! But when I see them checking him out i get all annoyed inside

I just keep telling myself he chose ME and isnt going to leave me for anyone else :]

LaSweetMini

He should keep the comments to himself. He can mentally say and think whatever but as respect twords the woman he is with (you) then those flirtatious comments shouldnt even happen and maybe you shouldnt either because maybe it makes him feel the same way and since you do it he probably thinks its ok to do.

bry_all01

I only pout about it, if he's not telling me how sexy, hot, beautiful I AM. If he did that for me first and foremost, I wouldn't care who he ogled..... and he knows this, yet he still does it. Men...... :laugh:

Qarol

Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?

chocolateandvodka

Truly, my hubby never comments about another female in front of me! What a great guy!

not helpful.

to OP: sounds like something i'd talk to a doctor about. there's a difference in feeling low because you're having a bad hair day, or didn't accomplish something you wanted to do, etc and a chemical imbalance causing depression. my meds saved my job, my sanity and my life.

CakeFit21

Truly, my hubby never comments about another female in front of me! What a great guy!

My husband feels perfectly safe and secure telling me how beautiful another woman is. He is a great guy too. Truly.

indycello

Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?

I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.

gsager

Flirting is hurting if you are in a committed relationship, and it is disrespectful of the person you are in a relationship with even if they don't see you do it.

FauxNinja

Men are visual creatures (so are women if you want my opinion). As long as your boyfriend is coming home to you, don't sweat it!

Yup. Men are voyeurs. Has nothing to do with whether or not they will cheat. They day I stop looking, close the lid on the casket.

Doesn't mean I'll ever stray, though.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

It's normal. It's natural...and I'm sure everyone does it.

So why does it make you feel like absolute dirt when your partner does it? Or is that just me.

When I see my partner ogling facebook photos of other women, or making complimentary posts about their photos...it makes me want to curl up into a ball and die.

This can't be healthy, normal behavior. What can I do to overcome it?

Hum, my husband doesn't do this infront of me. Not to say we don't talk about our preferences, but he's just not the type. He doesn't have a fb, but if he did he wouldn't be the person who's friends with every hot picture out there, kwim? Not to say he doesn't enjoy a little magazine or video here or there, but the other stuff just isn't his style.

ShapeUpSidney

My husband feels perfectly safe and secure telling me how beautiful another woman is. He is a great guy too. Truly.

I don't think it would bother me if he was directing the comments to me. I can recognize and appreciate the beauty in other women. It's when he tells them. Like they need to know, or hear it from him...

Aleciajones

My husband doesn't flirt, and neither do I. It may be natural but I personally find it disrespectful. Looking is one thing but making comments is unnecessary, to me anyway. Saying nice dress or something like that I don't consider flirting, I'm thinking more like dang you're hot is the type of flirting you're meaning.

lbetancourt

Do you not flirt, notice attractive men/women?? If not, maybe you should start.

Qarol

Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?

I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.

Really? OK, then...good luck getting him to stop looking. And just because he looks, does not mean he prefers that someone over you.

ZachyABaby

This is definitely not where I saw this thread going.

philOHIO

Are you flirty, close with your hubby? Maybe he needs more attention.

ShapeUpSidney

Hum, my husband doesn't do this infront of me. Not to say we don't talk about our preferences, but he's just not the type. He doesn't have a fb, but if he did he wouldn't be the person who's friends with every hot picture out there, kwim? Not to say he doesn't enjoy a little magazine or video here or there, but the other stuff just isn't his style.

I'm never bothered by the celebrities, and professionals (like porn stars and strippers). I'm only bothered by people we actually know. Friends of his. Or facebook friends I guess. I don't really like the idea of him adding someone as a fb friend just because she's hot...but I'm sure it happens. I don't want to be controlling, so whatever...but I'm still bothered (on the inside).

Of course I talk to him about this stuff. He tells me he cares about me, and not to worry. It doesn't seem to help me.

bry_all01

That's an issue with yourself. You need to find the self-love and confidence in yourself you deserve. It's human nature to look...to compliment...to "flirt". Love yourself, be comfortable in your skin, and you won't see this bothering you as much.

But I love the way I look, so I don't get why I'm so bothered...

I feel you, OP. I'm hot, drop dead sexy fine as all get out smoking hot (hahaha, in MY head, ok) and have serious self confidence around any and everyone else, but if HE doesn't compliment me the way everyone else does and then he points out how hot every other girl is, I throw temper tantrums. Yea, I'm a brat. Its him, I mean, my issue, but he is the only one that can make my confidence go from sky high to zilch in 2 seconds flat. he is the only one that matters what he thinks of me, so he is my only insecurity.

BigDaddyBRC

Depends on the situation and the level of flirt.

You can love yourseld all you want, but the desire is MENTAL, not physical

Barelmy

I can only talk about this from the other side, really.

I need to flirt. It's important to how I feel about myself. Plus, when I actively try not to, I find myself avoiding my (mostly male) friends. It makes my relationship healthier, that I don't rely solely on my partner to bolster my self-esteem, and make me feel good. It keeps me from becoming clingy, needy, resentful, or simply lonely.

It'll never go any further of course, and what I do is...I don't tell him.

ilookthetype

Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?

I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.

Really? OK, then...good luck getting him to stop looking. And just because he looks, does not mean he prefers that someone over you.

I like to think that he's continually picking you over all the other hot chicks...

0PhAtDaDdY

It's normal. It's natural...and I'm sure everyone does it.

So why does it make you feel like absolute dirt when your partner does it? Or is that just me.

When I see my partner ogling facebook photos of other women, or making complimentary posts about their photos...it makes me want to curl up into a ball and die.

This can't be healthy, normal behavior. What can I do to overcome it?

Sorry I do flirt a lot with my wife.....

voluptuous_veggie

Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?

I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.

Wow...namecalling? I don't think it's necessary to call someone on the forums an "idiot".

manderson27

I make it a game, if we are out I pick out a pretty girl and say to my hubby "she looks so pretty" or "look at those shoes" or "look at that lovely dress" or even "boob alert" This way it becomes something you do together, as opposed to something he feels he has to do secretly. Sometimes I just whisper things like "careful you don't snap your neck" or "watch your blood pressure"

Turn it into a joke and it becomes much less threatening. If women say to me don't you mind him looking at other women? my reply is "Every man needs a hobby" and that is all it is. He often points out good looking men to me and says do you want me to go and get him for you. Although the other week he said "theres one for you" and when I looked it was a big fat guy bending over and showing a lot of hairy butt crack. Hubby thought this was hilarious.

I would give the same advice toward his porn stash (if he has one) make it part of your life as a couple.

ShapeUpSidney

I can only talk about this from the other side, really.

I need to flirt. It's important to how I feel about myself. Plus, when I actively try not to, I find myself avoiding my (mostly male) friends. It makes my relationship healthier, that I don't rely solely on my partner to bolster my self-esteem, and make me feel good. It keeps me from becoming clingy, needy, resentful, or simply lonely.

It'll never go any further of course, and what I do is...I don't tell him.

I get you. And I've always sort of figured that it was an ego-stroking, self-esteem kind of thing. I just wish I never had to see it...