Flirting
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Are you flirty, close with your hubby? Maybe he needs more attention.
I'm not the OP, but I have the same issue and I can say I let him know ALL of the time how hot and sexy and desirable he is to me..... He just says he thinks I already know it and am told it enough that he doesn't want to make my head any bigger, lol. Still.....0 -
My husband feels perfectly safe and secure telling me how beautiful another woman is. He is a great guy too. Truly.
I don't think it would bother me if he was directing the comments to me. I can recognize and appreciate the beauty in other women. It's when he tells them. Like they need to know, or hear it from him...
I'm sorry, my comment was directed at the other poster. I felt like she was implying that any man who commented on another woman's beauty was not a "great" guy. This is certainly not true.
The truth is, he should be respecting your feelings on this matter even if it seems irrational. I agree, they probably do not need to hear random compliments on their facebook photos. If he never commented, they wouldn't miss it. I also agree, that this is something that you need to look inward about. Figuring out why it bothers you so much will strengthen your relationship in the long run.0 -
I'm never bothered by the celebrities, and professionals (like porn stars and strippers).
this is my favorite line in this entire post. i'm definitely recycling it.0 -
That's OK...I know for a fact my husband doesn't think about other women in bed. He thinks about baseball...
Wow...namecalling? I don't think it's necessary to call someone on the forums an "idiot".
I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?0 -
My husband flirts a lot, mostly with our friends' girlfriends/wives. It is all done as a joke and everyone knows this. It doesn't bother me at all. What really would bother me is if he was doing it in secret, whether online on a site like this or face to face.0
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I make it a game, if we are out I pick out a pretty girl and say to my hubby "she looks so pretty" or "look at those shoes" or "look at that lovely dress" or even "boob alert" This way it becomes something you do together, as opposed to something he feels he has to do secretly. Sometimes I just whisper things like "careful you don't snap your neck" or "watch your blood pressure"
Again, I do this too. Like "Holy Boobs!" when we're out. But it isnt the celebrities, or porn, or random hotties that bother me...it's these women that I feel like he carries on with in regular life. It almost seems like an infatuation, and that really, really bothers me.0 -
That's OK...I know for a fact my husband doesn't think about other women in bed. He thinks about baseball...
Wow...namecalling? I don't think it's necessary to call someone on the forums an "idiot".
I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?
pitching or catching?0 -
Hum, my husband doesn't do this infront of me. Not to say we don't talk about our preferences, but he's just not the type. He doesn't have a fb, but if he did he wouldn't be the person who's friends with every hot picture out there, kwim? Not to say he doesn't enjoy a little magazine or video here or there, but the other stuff just isn't his style.
I'm never bothered by the celebrities, and professionals (like porn stars and strippers). I'm only bothered by people we actually know. Friends of his. Or facebook friends I guess. I don't really like the idea of him adding someone as a fb friend just because she's hot...but I'm sure it happens. I don't want to be controlling, so whatever...but I'm still bothered (on the inside).
Of course I talk to him about this stuff. He tells me he cares about me, and not to worry. It doesn't seem to help me.
1- Honestly, I think that's a little creepy. I have a friend that's been a friend of my family for many years (married) who hits on my fb chat sometimes. He's a nice guy, and I don't think he'd say any of that to my face anymore (when I was single yes, but since then I don't think so), but sometimes it gets a little creepy.
2- If you've told him that it makes you weirded out, and they aren't his real friends, and he persists . . . do you think the issue you have is that he's doing it period, or more that he's doing it knowing that it bothers you and these people should be insignificant to him but he's not respecting this one little quirk you have? Mine would totally be the respect thing. "honey, look at all the porn you want, just stop being fb creepy!"0 -
I have, on more than one occasion, elbowed my wife to say "look at that awesome rack." She will generally roll her eyes, look herself and agree, or punch me, depending on her mood.My husband feels perfectly safe and secure telling me how beautiful another woman is. He is a great guy too. Truly.0 -
If it bothers you, talk to him about it. Everyone has certain things that upset them in a relationship and there is nothing wrong with making them known. He may not even be aware of how you feel about it.0
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That's OK...I know for a fact my husband doesn't think about other women in bed. He thinks about baseball...
Wow...namecalling? I don't think it's necessary to call someone on the forums an "idiot".
I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?
pitching or catching?
Probably more like whose on first . . . gotta hold out . . . what's on second . . . damn where'd she learn that trick? . . .0 -
If it bothers you, talk to him about it. Everyone has certain things that upset them in a relationship and there is nothing wrong with making them known. He may not even be aware of how you feel about it.
He's aware. I guess he doesn't think I'll notice. Like in my random newsfeed, I'll probably never pay attention or catch every little thing (and I'm sure I don't, because who has the time)
But then I do notice sometimes, and it. feels. awful.
To be honest, it makes me feel like going out for a drink after work by myself and picking up men, just to restore my confidence. But knowing that nothing would come of it, it wouldn't be fair to the poor guys at the bar ... lol0 -
Precisely...
Probably more like whose on first . . . gotta hold out . . . what's on second . . . damn where'd she learn that trick? . . .
pitching or catching?
That's OK...I know for a fact my husband doesn't think about other women in bed. He thinks about baseball...
Wow...namecalling? I don't think it's necessary to call someone on the forums an "idiot".
I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?0 -
I don't believe flirting is harmless, even if it is intended as such. If we deliberately flirt with someone, we don't always know just how that person is affected. He/she may develop expectations or feelings for the person who is flirting. To toy with the feelings of others intentionally is cruel, even if we feel it's "innocent" on our part.
To signal romantic interest in a married person - or for a married person to show such interest in someone outside the marriage bond - is, quite frankly, wrong in my opinion. Cheating on a mate often begins in a harmless way - an emotional attachment is formed... and it can happen unintentionally or in a seemingly innocent way, by flirting.
I know I wouldn't appreciate if my hubby flirted - he doesn't do it - and so I am mindful of his feelings, and am careful not to do so either.0 -
before there is an attack of the grammar police: I just realized that I typed Whose instead of Who's . . . whatever0
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I'd be annoyed about the complimentary photo comments, too. :grumble:
We talk about other people who we find attractive, but I think it's inappropriate to actually tell them about it. JMHO, of course.0 -
Wait...are these women he knows in RL? Or checking out the same women over and over again online? And than commenting on their pics? That seems a lot different than just checking out different random hotties online. Have you sat down and talked to him about this?
Again, I do this too. Like "Holy Boobs!" when we're out. But it isnt the celebrities, or porn, or random hotties that bother me...it's these women that I feel like he carries on with in regular life. It almost seems like an infatuation, and that really, really bothers me.0 -
Maybe you should give what you get. That is what I did. Stopped him right in his tracks the day he wanted to complain. But, it was more because the guys I was flirting with, flirted back. Then I was able to express how I felt about his flirting. He understood better then. He never really understood when I would tell him it hurt me before. He would say stupid *kitten* like "but I am with you" or something like that. Like it was suppose to make me feel better. Ha! What goes around comes around. I don't care if two wrongs don't make it right, but in this case it sure made it feel good.0
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Wait...are these women he knows in RL? Or checking out the same women over and over again online? And than commenting on their pics? That seems a lot different than just checking out different random hotties online. Have you sat down and talked to him about this?
Some are. And some are people he kind of knows in real life. Like friends of friends. It's so aggravating, and yes I've made him aware of my feelings.
He says "I'm probably not going to stop." So he's being honest, but ****...it might just be a deal breaker for me. I hate feeling this way.0 -
Wait...are these women he knows in RL? Or checking out the same women over and over again online? And than commenting on their pics? That seems a lot different than just checking out different random hotties online. Have you sat down and talked to him about this?
Some are. And some are people he kind of knows in real life. Like friends of friends. It's so aggravating, and yes I've made him aware of my feelings.
He says "I'm probably not going to stop." So he's being honest, but ****...it might just be a deal breaker for me. I hate feeling this way.
Yep, going back to creepy :noway: and disrespectful :noway:0 -
Wow...I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Flirting to me is NOT innocent if you are married. Just my opinion, I know. If my husband did that, we would have issues. He wouldn't like it if I did it to him either. I feel like it can lead to something more, if the other person being flirted with is open to it.
Wait...are these women he knows in RL? Or checking out the same women over and over again online? And than commenting on their pics? That seems a lot different than just checking out different random hotties online. Have you sat down and talked to him about this?
Some are. And some are people he kind of knows in real life. Like friends of friends. It's so aggravating, and yes I've made him aware of my feelings.
He says "I'm probably not going to stop." So he's being honest, but ****...it might just be a deal breaker for me. I hate feeling this way.
You're going to have some tough choices to make down the road if he doesn't stop.
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If you are in a serious relationship, your partner is being totally disrespectful to you and unless you live in his/her home, the partner is doing it in your home. Pack up the partner's crap and show them the door. You don't have the problem, they do. Do I notice sometimes a man is very attractive? Sure I do but I would never tell them or converse with them out of respect for my boy friend nor would he do it to me. This is what I love about my man. Sometimes when he is describing someone, say another female, he may say she is attractive but he always then says "I don't mean she's in your catefory Love". Is he full of Irish Blarney - probably but that is the kind of man/partner your want. Someone who cares about your feelings.0
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Whatever happened to respectful marriages? Flirting with other people is not cool.. That leads to lusting. Job gave an oath to God to never lust on another woman.Its an open door to commit adultery.I get the love from my husband,and so does he..Yes we're nice to others,but we don't flirt.Respect ur realtionships!0
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Heck that would piss me off, I would sit down and talk with him. No one needs a doctor either... I feel horrible when the guy I am dating does something like that (very similar to what you discribed) Have you talked with him about this and does he still continue to do it?0
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Hes a Dou*che Canoue.....0
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It's normal. It's natural...and I'm sure everyone does it.
So why does it make you feel like absolute dirt when your partner does it? Or is that just me.
When I see my partner ogling facebook photos of other women, or making complimentary posts about their photos...it makes me want to curl up into a ball and die.
This can't be healthy, normal behavior. What can I do to overcome it?
You're right...It is not normal, but you don't need to curl up into a ball and die. I did not hear you say he wants to be with them, nor did you say he disrespects you. A compliment is just that. I am sure you get compliments from people about something. Trust your man, and if that is not there, then you need to go elsewhere because without trust, there is no relationship. My wife oogles Morris Chestnut and she appreciates a man with a nice body, but instead of curling up in the corner and dying, I am doing my damnest to make sure that not only will she love me, but give her that nice body she likes looking at sometimes too.0 -
Whatever happened to respectful marriages? Flirting with other people is not cool.. That leads to lusting. Job gave an oath to God to never lust on another woman.Its an open door to commit adultery.I get the love from my husband,and so does he..Yes we're nice to others,but we don't flirt.Respect ur realtionships!
Bible talk...reported...J/K0 -
Report all you want..its the truth with a capital TWhatever happened to respectful marriages? Flirting with other people is not cool.. That leads to lusting. Job gave an oath to God to never lust on another woman.Its an open door to commit adultery.I get the love from my husband,and so does he..Yes we're nice to others,but we don't flirt.Respect ur realtionships!
Bible talk...reported...J/K
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Flirting while in a relationship = total disrespect
Flirting is one of the first steps why people go for relationships... Think about that...
If he is flirting (despite what your situation is with that person) it is something to really look into...Flirting can cause issues while in a relationship... If you want to flirt then you mine as well be single...0 -
You're right...It is not normal, but you don't need to curl up into a ball and die. I did not hear you say he wants to be with them, nor did you say he disrespects you. A compliment is just that. I am sure you get compliments from people about something. Trust your man, and if that is not there, then you need to go elsewhere because without trust, there is no relationship. My wife oogles Morris Chestnut and she appreciates a man with a nice body, but instead of curling up in the corner and dying, I am doing my damnest to make sure that not only will she love me, but give her that nice body she likes looking at sometimes too.
Comforting words. I know my feelings are irrational, but it's just very difficult for me. I don't know why I internalize it this way, I just do.0
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