Flirting

philOHIO

Are you flirty, close with your hubby? Maybe he needs more attention.

ShapeUpSidney

Hum, my husband doesn't do this infront of me. Not to say we don't talk about our preferences, but he's just not the type. He doesn't have a fb, but if he did he wouldn't be the person who's friends with every hot picture out there, kwim? Not to say he doesn't enjoy a little magazine or video here or there, but the other stuff just isn't his style.

I'm never bothered by the celebrities, and professionals (like porn stars and strippers). I'm only bothered by people we actually know. Friends of his. Or facebook friends I guess. I don't really like the idea of him adding someone as a fb friend just because she's hot...but I'm sure it happens. I don't want to be controlling, so whatever...but I'm still bothered (on the inside).

Of course I talk to him about this stuff. He tells me he cares about me, and not to worry. It doesn't seem to help me.

bry_all01

That's an issue with yourself. You need to find the self-love and confidence in yourself you deserve. It's human nature to look...to compliment...to "flirt". Love yourself, be comfortable in your skin, and you won't see this bothering you as much.

But I love the way I look, so I don't get why I'm so bothered...

I feel you, OP. I'm hot, drop dead sexy fine as all get out smoking hot (hahaha, in MY head, ok) and have serious self confidence around any and everyone else, but if HE doesn't compliment me the way everyone else does and then he points out how hot every other girl is, I throw temper tantrums. Yea, I'm a brat. Its him, I mean, my issue, but he is the only one that can make my confidence go from sky high to zilch in 2 seconds flat. he is the only one that matters what he thinks of me, so he is my only insecurity.

BigDaddyBRC

Depends on the situation and the level of flirt.

You can love yourseld all you want, but the desire is MENTAL, not physical

Barelmy

I can only talk about this from the other side, really.

I need to flirt. It's important to how I feel about myself. Plus, when I actively try not to, I find myself avoiding my (mostly male) friends. It makes my relationship healthier, that I don't rely solely on my partner to bolster my self-esteem, and make me feel good. It keeps me from becoming clingy, needy, resentful, or simply lonely.

It'll never go any further of course, and what I do is...I don't tell him.

ilookthetype

Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?

I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.

Really? OK, then...good luck getting him to stop looking. And just because he looks, does not mean he prefers that someone over you.

I like to think that he's continually picking you over all the other hot chicks...

0PhAtDaDdY

It's normal. It's natural...and I'm sure everyone does it.

So why does it make you feel like absolute dirt when your partner does it? Or is that just me.

When I see my partner ogling facebook photos of other women, or making complimentary posts about their photos...it makes me want to curl up into a ball and die.

This can't be healthy, normal behavior. What can I do to overcome it?

Sorry I do flirt a lot with my wife.....

voluptuous_veggie

Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?

I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.

Wow...namecalling? I don't think it's necessary to call someone on the forums an "idiot".

manderson27

I make it a game, if we are out I pick out a pretty girl and say to my hubby "she looks so pretty" or "look at those shoes" or "look at that lovely dress" or even "boob alert" This way it becomes something you do together, as opposed to something he feels he has to do secretly. Sometimes I just whisper things like "careful you don't snap your neck" or "watch your blood pressure"

Turn it into a joke and it becomes much less threatening. If women say to me don't you mind him looking at other women? my reply is "Every man needs a hobby" and that is all it is. He often points out good looking men to me and says do you want me to go and get him for you. Although the other week he said "theres one for you" and when I looked it was a big fat guy bending over and showing a lot of hairy butt crack. Hubby thought this was hilarious.

I would give the same advice toward his porn stash (if he has one) make it part of your life as a couple.

ShapeUpSidney

I can only talk about this from the other side, really.

I need to flirt. It's important to how I feel about myself. Plus, when I actively try not to, I find myself avoiding my (mostly male) friends. It makes my relationship healthier, that I don't rely solely on my partner to bolster my self-esteem, and make me feel good. It keeps me from becoming clingy, needy, resentful, or simply lonely.

It'll never go any further of course, and what I do is...I don't tell him.

I get you. And I've always sort of figured that it was an ego-stroking, self-esteem kind of thing. I just wish I never had to see it...

bry_all01

Are you flirty, close with your hubby? Maybe he needs more attention.

I'm not the OP, but I have the same issue and I can say I let him know ALL of the time how hot and sexy and desirable he is to me..... He just says he thinks I already know it and am told it enough that he doesn't want to make my head any bigger, lol. Still.....

CakeFit21

My husband feels perfectly safe and secure telling me how beautiful another woman is. He is a great guy too. Truly.

I don't think it would bother me if he was directing the comments to me. I can recognize and appreciate the beauty in other women. It's when he tells them. Like they need to know, or hear it from him...

I'm sorry, my comment was directed at the other poster. I felt like she was implying that any man who commented on another woman's beauty was not a "great" guy. This is certainly not true.

The truth is, he should be respecting your feelings on this matter even if it seems irrational. I agree, they probably do not need to hear random compliments on their facebook photos. If he never commented, they wouldn't miss it. I also agree, that this is something that you need to look inward about. Figuring out why it bothers you so much will strengthen your relationship in the long run.

chocolateandvodka

I'm never bothered by the celebrities, and professionals (like porn stars and strippers).

this is my favorite line in this entire post. i'm definitely recycling it.

Qarol

Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?

I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.

Wow...namecalling? I don't think it's necessary to call someone on the forums an "idiot".

That's OK...I know for a fact my husband doesn't think about other women in bed. He thinks about baseball...

lor007

My husband flirts a lot, mostly with our friends' girlfriends/wives. It is all done as a joke and everyone knows this. It doesn't bother me at all. What really would bother me is if he was doing it in secret, whether online on a site like this or face to face.

ShapeUpSidney

I make it a game, if we are out I pick out a pretty girl and say to my hubby "she looks so pretty" or "look at those shoes" or "look at that lovely dress" or even "boob alert" This way it becomes something you do together, as opposed to something he feels he has to do secretly. Sometimes I just whisper things like "careful you don't snap your neck" or "watch your blood pressure"

Again, I do this too. Like "Holy Boobs!" when we're out. But it isnt the celebrities, or porn, or random hotties that bother me...it's these women that I feel like he carries on with in regular life. It almost seems like an infatuation, and that really, really bothers me.

voluptuous_veggie

Think of it this way...if he gets all turned on by some hot piece of *kitten* he LOOKS at, you can reap the benefits later. Catch my drift?

I honestly don't think any woman wants seconds... like he has to settle for you after he wants to be with another woman... You would be an idiot to think he's not thinking about her while he's doing you. THat is just sick and I refuse to be used like that.

Wow...namecalling? I don't think it's necessary to call someone on the forums an "idiot".

That's OK...I know for a fact my husband doesn't think about other women in bed. He thinks about baseball...

pitching or catching?

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Hum, my husband doesn't do this infront of me. Not to say we don't talk about our preferences, but he's just not the type. He doesn't have a fb, but if he did he wouldn't be the person who's friends with every hot picture out there, kwim? Not to say he doesn't enjoy a little magazine or video here or there, but the other stuff just isn't his style.

I'm never bothered by the celebrities, and professionals (like porn stars and strippers). I'm only bothered by people we actually know. Friends of his. Or facebook friends I guess. I don't really like the idea of him adding someone as a fb friend just because she's hot...but I'm sure it happens. I don't want to be controlling, so whatever...but I'm still bothered (on the inside).

Of course I talk to him about this stuff. He tells me he cares about me, and not to worry. It doesn't seem to help me.

1- Honestly, I think that's a little creepy. I have a friend that's been a friend of my family for many years (married) who hits on my fb chat sometimes. He's a nice guy, and I don't think he'd say any of that to my face anymore (when I was single yes, but since then I don't think so), but sometimes it gets a little creepy.

2- If you've told him that it makes you weirded out, and they aren't his real friends, and he persists . . . do you think the issue you have is that he's doing it period, or more that he's doing it knowing that it bothers you and these people should be insignificant to him but he's not respecting this one little quirk you have? Mine would totally be the respect thing. "honey, look at all the porn you want, just stop being fb creepy!"

kennethmgreen

My husband feels perfectly safe and secure telling me how beautiful another woman is. He is a great guy too. Truly.

I have, on more than one occasion, elbowed my wife to say "look at that awesome rack." She will generally roll her eyes, look herself and agree, or punch me, depending on her mood.

ahinescapron

If it bothers you, talk to him about it. Everyone has certain things that upset them in a relationship and there is nothing wrong with making them known. He may not even be aware of how you feel about it.