adoption???

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  • live2dream
    live2dream Posts: 614 Member
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    Thanks for sharing your story, Pangea... glad it worked out for yoU!!
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    There was a nurse who worked at an OBGYN. A young lady came in, pregnant, asking about her options for abortion. This nurse told the lady that she knew a couple who had been trying for five years to get pregnant but couldn't, and if she might be interested in giving her child up for adoption to this couple. The young lady eventually said yes, the adoption was official before I was born, and this couple was able to have a child. Three years later, they adopted another little girl. Three years after that, they were able to have a biological son, and two years after that another biological son. Then they finally said, "ENOUGH!" :laugh:

    I'm VERY different from the rest of my family, but I'm thankful that I was given a chance to live. My parents and I have our differences, and my sister was able to assimilate into the family much better than I ever did. I'm just not that into farmin', tractors, country life, etc. I'm more of a world traveler than a homebody :smile:

    I did get a chance to meet that nurse, about a month before she died (she was in a nursing home). She refused to talk to me, though. Since my adoption was closed, the only information I have on my biological parents is that my mother was 21 when she had me, that I was her first child, and that she was a bookkeeper in '83 when I was born. Someday, if I get the money, I'd like to search for her, as I feel there's a hole in my life not knowing anything about her. But as for right now, I'm more worried about trying to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up!
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
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    Someday, if I get the money, I'd like to search for her, as I feel there's a hole in my life not knowing anything about her. But as for right now, I'm more worried about trying to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up!

    bregalad5 - You have sooooooo much information to start your search! You know the hospital you were born in - it's got to be the place where the nurse worked. There are only so many babies born in a hospital on a day. Start with the hospital. That's your key. Do you know the name you were born with? Somehow, you need to try for your hospital medical record at birth. You can also research any OBGYN doctors at the hospital at that time. Contact them directly. Good luck.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    My family about 5 years ago
    family.jpg


    my sister and her birth dad

    tamandgary.jpg
  • malloriewebb
    malloriewebb Posts: 81
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    I am a proud adoptive mom and I love my son's birthmom like she is my sister. Our adoption experience has been totally awesome!
  • JulieSD
    JulieSD Posts: 567
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    pangea250, thank you!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    To everyone who read/commented on my topic: It was not my intention to offend any of you by making any "political" or "religious" references. I was simply retelling a unique and amazing conversation I had with someone.
    It was not my intention to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Like I said on the post, I was a product of rape and am very thankful to my birth mother for choosing to keep me. (during those days, especially in Uganda, abortion just simply was not an option, for which I am personally thankful for since I possibly would not be alive if it had been).
    For those of you who shared your personal stories, thank you! It is amazing to me how we are all so different and how many wonderful people there are out there who have made the decision to adopt! to all you adoptive parents, and especially to my own: THANK YOU!

    You have no reason to apologize. None.
  • HannahPastoor
    HannahPastoor Posts: 303
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    Six of my eleven siblings are adopted from Ethiopia : ) So if anyone wants info about adoption from there feel free to PM me : ) We started out wanting to adopt a baby (My siblings were 20, 16, 11, 8, 6 and 2 at the time)...But ended up adopting a 12 year old girl who had been adopted and it wasn't working out. Then we got our referral for a 2 year old girl. When my parents went to pick her up they met a 11 year old boy and then we decided to adopt a sib set of three girls ages 11 and 16 and a boy who is 17. They will be home sometime in January hopefully. : )

    Ever since we started this process we have gotten more and more Ethiopian things (my parents have been there 3 times so far) and the kids are all very comfortable being a different color then their parents (they have 6 bio *white* kids and 6 *brown* kids) but nobody even cares about skin color and its the same as if someone had a different color hair : )

    They are almost all able to know their birth families and meet them if wanted. When they picked up the 2 year old they went to visit her mom. They also went and visited my 12 year old sisters family and was able to find out a TON (her previous adoptive mom had lied to her about why they gave her up for adoption. Said she had dropped her sister on her head and they were mad at her. LIE.) they are all great people and we keep in contact with them. The 11 year old boy, we have no idea where is family is but we are trying to find them. The sib set of three? Their parents don't want to see them.....We WANT them all to be able to go back to Ethiopia when they are older and meet their parents and help their home country : )
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
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    I am adopted. My birth mother had an affair and I am the product of that. She and her husband and their children stayed together.

    My adoptive parents were religious fundamentalists and I was raised in a spare-the-rod-spoil-the-child type of home that frequently ventured into abuse, some severe. There was a lot of violence in that home. Same thing with the church. I left the church and got married so I could move out the minute I could.

    When I was 38, I located my birth mother and soon after, we met for the first and only time. We were a lot alike in our personalities, even though we'd never had contact. She died 2 years ago. I still have the occasional contact with my half sisters, but we are not close.

    My adoptive sister and I have always been close and kept each other sane during our childhood.

    I think...there is always the chance that the adoptive family will not be ideal - divorce, etc. But that isn't any different than having a child in a marriage of your own. There is always the possibility of divorce, etc.
  • malloriewebb
    malloriewebb Posts: 81
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    I'd also like to add my thoughts on something else adoption related. The term "given up" for adoption is so insensitive. I would beat someone's *kitten* if they said that in front of my kid. Well, not really, but you would probably get told off and get a real nasty stank eye look.
  • krik84
    krik84 Posts: 47
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    My husband's parents adopted 10 children and had two biological (my husband is one of the two). All of them from the U.S., seven of the adopted are african american, and most of them have varying degrees of mental problems (my father-in-law is a doctor and mother-in-law a nurse practitioner). Holidays and birthdays (which are all time) are hectic to say the least. Yea for adoption!
  • FindingFit50s
    FindingFit50s Posts: 162
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    BUMP
  • rbryntes
    rbryntes Posts: 710 Member
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    To everyone who read/commented on my topic: It was not my intention to offend any of you by making any "political" or "religious" references. I was simply retelling a unique and amazing conversation I had with someone.
    It was not my intention to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Like I said on the post, I was a product of rape and am very thankful to my birth mother for choosing to keep me. (during those days, especially in Uganda, abortion just simply was not an option, for which I am personally thankful for since I possibly would not be alive if it had been).
    For those of you who shared your personal stories, thank you! It is amazing to me how we are all so different and how many wonderful people there are out there who have made the decision to adopt! to all you adoptive parents, and especially to my own: THANK YOU!

    Excellent. Could you edit out your "she knew that abortion was wrong" comment? It would focus the topic to adoption.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    Someday, if I get the money, I'd like to search for her, as I feel there's a hole in my life not knowing anything about her. But as for right now, I'm more worried about trying to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up!

    bregalad5 - You have sooooooo much information to start your search! You know the hospital you were born in - it's got to be the place where the nurse worked. There are only so many babies born in a hospital on a day. Start with the hospital. That's your key. Do you know the name you were born with? Somehow, you need to try for your hospital medical record at birth. You can also research any OBGYN doctors at the hospital at that time. Contact them directly. Good luck.

    She worked for a private OBGYN (my mother is a nurse as well, so they knew each other somehow from that), and I was adopted before I was born. My parents took me home from the hospital when I was 3 days old - back when the baby had to stay 3 days before they were allowed to go home.

    Starting with the hospital is a good idea. I know I was born in the morning, but that's about it. Hmmm.
  • Serenitytoo
    Serenitytoo Posts: 449 Member
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    Both my brother and I were adoped. I was 10 days old when my parents brought me home, My brother was 10 months when they brought him home (even though I told them I wanted a sister!) :laugh: We have both always knows that we were adopted. And I have never felt a strong pull to find my birth mom. I know she was young, unmarried and didn't feel ready for marriage with my birth father. The medical history provided the basics on medical issues, but also included things about her and her mother;s hobbies and things like that and a more general description on the birth father's family. The only reason that has me contemplate finding her is to let her know it was a good decision she made. If I put myself in her shoes I think I would always wonder if I made the right decision.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    The medical history provided the basics on medical issues, but also included things about her and her mother;s hobbies and things like that and a more general description on the birth father's family.

    I wish I had that... Not knowing any of my biological family's medical history terrifies me
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
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    BUMP..would like to read later
  • homeport51
    homeport51 Posts: 198 Member
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    two of my cousins are adopted and they have the best relationship with their adoptive parents, but no connection to the birth parents.

    on another note entirely... your views on abortion should be kept to yourself. i don't appreciate the snide way you threw that in there.

    The only snide comment here is yours. She was saying that the girl who was pregnant felt abortion was wrong. It is a tough decision to make to have a child you don't want. I admire her decision, regardless of my views on abortion. Guess we know what your views are now though, don't we?
  • SkateboardFi
    SkateboardFi Posts: 1,322 Member
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    I adopted my x-wifes child from her first husband. My daughter is now 16 (turns 17 on Oct 20th). She met her real dad and she didnt like him. He was real critical of her and he did not listen to her or engage in meaninful conversations. She had her guard up with me for a long time but now she loves me, calls me dad, and when she went to counceling with me a while back, she broke down and told the councelor that I was the only dad she ever knew and she said that I was not a bad guy. Every since then, our relationship has flourished! I do not look at her differenlty than my biological twin daughters.

    this is my exact situation. my stepfather adopted me, and is the only father i know or recognize, and he's the one i call dad, and who i run to when i need advice. i talk to my biological father from time to time. and by talk i mean text...and by time to time i mean like...every few months. i don't call him dad, i don't have his last name. he had the audacity to try to put up a fight about this once and i promptly cussed him out and had to set his *kitten* straight.

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