Is he just being nice?
i_love_vinegar
Posts: 2,092 Member
I am so embarrassed to ask this online at 21 years of age, but I have not had a crush in a very long time (since age 15).
At 18, I dated a guy I never really "clicked with," but was very sweet in the beginning/end (the reasons it lasted so long are difficult to explain). I broke up with him maybe 6 months ago.
I do not usually talk about my love life, so I feel awkward confiding in my family or friends in real life about this, but there are so many great people here! The last time I had a crush, I was 15. We never ended up dating, in fact I dated his friend because I didn't believe the guy I liked could ever like someone like me. Unfortunately, I realized he did like me back...too late.
I find 95% of men here to be attractive, since they have the features I like most. BUT today I met the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen. I haven't experienced this feeling since I was 15 (even then it was not this strong)...I could hardly speak and would laugh awkwardly.
From what I could tell, he is very kind and sociable. When we first met, we spoke a lot and he asked me lots of questions and told lots of jokes. He sat next to me a lot, and gave me candies. He also walked me partially home (opposite direction to his home!). I am really socially awkward, especially when I like someone. He told me that when I get a cellphone, to give him my number and that we should tutor each other.
A lot of guys who have liked me in the past have acted this way, but they had different personalities. This guy seems very sociable, nice to all, etc.
I cannot tell if he was just being nice. When I was much younger, I was rejected by a guy I liked (I was popular, and although he wasnt [people told me he was a compulsive liar, really weird etc] we spoke everyday. I finally confessed my feelings, and he rejected me and then pretended he had a girlfriend). Ever since that day, I cannot believe that a guy I like could ever like me back.
I would really like some advice on how to tell whether this guy likes me, and maybe ways to improve my attractiveness. Thank you everyone!!! >_<;;;
At 18, I dated a guy I never really "clicked with," but was very sweet in the beginning/end (the reasons it lasted so long are difficult to explain). I broke up with him maybe 6 months ago.
I do not usually talk about my love life, so I feel awkward confiding in my family or friends in real life about this, but there are so many great people here! The last time I had a crush, I was 15. We never ended up dating, in fact I dated his friend because I didn't believe the guy I liked could ever like someone like me. Unfortunately, I realized he did like me back...too late.
I find 95% of men here to be attractive, since they have the features I like most. BUT today I met the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen. I haven't experienced this feeling since I was 15 (even then it was not this strong)...I could hardly speak and would laugh awkwardly.
From what I could tell, he is very kind and sociable. When we first met, we spoke a lot and he asked me lots of questions and told lots of jokes. He sat next to me a lot, and gave me candies. He also walked me partially home (opposite direction to his home!). I am really socially awkward, especially when I like someone. He told me that when I get a cellphone, to give him my number and that we should tutor each other.
A lot of guys who have liked me in the past have acted this way, but they had different personalities. This guy seems very sociable, nice to all, etc.
I cannot tell if he was just being nice. When I was much younger, I was rejected by a guy I liked (I was popular, and although he wasnt [people told me he was a compulsive liar, really weird etc] we spoke everyday. I finally confessed my feelings, and he rejected me and then pretended he had a girlfriend). Ever since that day, I cannot believe that a guy I like could ever like me back.
I would really like some advice on how to tell whether this guy likes me, and maybe ways to improve my attractiveness. Thank you everyone!!! >_<;;;
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Replies
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I think the best thing is to just get to know him better. That way you will hopefully feel more comfortable with him and vice versa so that he may make his feelings known and/or by that time you will feel more comfortable letting him know yours.
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Simple: he wants you! Sounds like he is interested. Good luck!0
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If he walked you home and didn't have to, then HE LIKES YOU. plain and simple. Plus you are gorgeous so why would he not?0
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Play hard to get and wait for him to ask you on a date...0
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I think the best thing is to just get to know him better. That way you will hopefully feel more comfortable with him and vice versa so that he may make his feelings known and/or by that time you will feel more comfortable letting him know yours.
I will definitely wait. I am scared to ever tell my feelings, but I agree that hopefully we will become more comfortable. I am so happy we have the same teacher! hahaSimple: he wants you! Sounds like he is interested. Good luck!
Thank you! I hope this is true ^^If he walked you home and didn't have to, then HE LIKES YOU. plain and simple. Plus you are gorgeous so why would he not?
I really hope this is true too! I don't think i am gorgeous, but you are very kind!!! Thank you >_<Play hard to get and wait for him to ask you on a date...
Thank you as well. I think it will be easy to play hard to get, since it works with awkwardness
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It sounds like things are going good. I agree with getting to know him better. You don't have to express your feelings to him, just keep them to yourself for now. It sounds like he is very nice and in time your will feel more confortable. I wish you the best! 0
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i agree with what others have said, just give it a bit of time and allow that sparkling personality of yours to shine through
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First of all I agree you are beautiful.
Give it time, get to know him.0 -
from the sounds of it, he's into you... but I'd wait a while and just observe him next time you're around. :flowerforyou: i can feel the butterflies in your tummy.
i'm a sucker for love/crushes/like/whatever. 0 -
He likes you.0
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from the sounds of it, he's into you... but I'd wait a while and just observe him next time you're around. :flowerforyou: i can feel the butterflies in your tummy. i'm a sucker for love/crushes/like/whatever.
Love this! I'm a sucker for love/crushes/like/whatever too! I used to have so many crushes....... luckily I found the one for me.
You are GORGEOUS! Don't ever tell yourself otherwise.... I think he digs you if he's sitting by you and telling jokes and asking questions and giving you candy..... Most guys aren't going to give a girl that much attention if there isn't anything there.. Give it time like everyone says... Be friends first. I wouldn't play too hard to get. It turns some men away. (Found that out the hard way) - But also don't throw yourself at him..... men don't like that either, found that out the hard way as well.
HUGS!!!!0 -
guys dont give close to that much attention to a woman unless they are interested, any one of the things you listed would be enough to show he is in to you.
if i did all of that with a woman who wasnt an old friend my wife would be pissed.0 -
Thank u everyone! We are meeting up soon, although I dont know if other people are coming >_< I hope not, but I bought a really cute outfit to wear, although it was so expensive to me (except the shoes)
There is a nice pastry shop in the area...they sell very small, pre-packaged pastries for ~$1.50 each. Then they wrap it in pretty packaging etc. I am thinking to buy 3 of them (so its not too big of a deal) and give them to him when we meet up to say "thank you" because he helped me so much, and even on FB is asking me if I need help with anything
I am also gonna give him a keychain from my 1st home country.
Is this a good idea? Any other suggestions? Thank u so much everyone ^^0 -
bump. Anyone? He looks like a model, so Im a bit nervous ^^ I am thinking of slightly ignoring him today/tomorrow, but when we see eachother monday I will dress very well lol.
Hopefully he will still be a little annoyed with me, but will think I look good that day ^^ Then I will give him the present and he will feel like a jerk being annoyed with me, and like me more...does this sound ok?0 -
I'm older and my recent dating experience is almost nil, but I just have to chime in. Playing it cool is one thing-you don't want the guy to be overwhelmed if you seem too interested too soon, but I think ignoring him and playing head games is a little cruel. He sounds like he's genuinely interested...why not enjoy that?0
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Head games...best way to discourage a guy.0
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Ah...Thank you NotGoddess and binary_jester! ^^ i just dont want to seem too interested in him ^^
would the pastry thing be ok, as long as I act chill otherwise? ^^0 -
i think he is interested otherwise he wouldnt have asked you questions just take it slowly and see where it goes,0
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bump. Anyone? He looks like a model, so Im a bit nervous ^^ I am thinking of slightly ignoring him today/tomorrow, but when we see eachother monday I will dress very well lol.
Hopefully he will still be a little annoyed with me, but will think I look good that day ^^ Then I will give him the present and he will feel like a jerk being annoyed with me, and like me more...does this sound ok?
Definitely don't do this. Playing games like that just confuses things more and will backfire. Just be yourself, nerves and all. Would you like it if he acted one way and then over time turned into a different person? No. And neither will he. Just have fun with it, see what happens. 0 -
bump. Anyone? He looks like a model, so Im a bit nervous ^^ I am thinking of slightly ignoring him today/tomorrow, but when we see eachother monday I will dress very well lol.
Hopefully he will still be a little annoyed with me, but will think I look good that day ^^ Then I will give him the present and he will feel like a jerk being annoyed with me, and like me more...does this sound ok?
Definitely don't do this. Playing games like that just confuses things more and will backfire. Just be yourself, nerves and all. Would you like it if he acted one way and then over time turned into a different person? No. And neither will he. Just have fun with it, see what happens.
Thats a really good point. Im not sure how I would act naturally though, as Ive never felt this way before =/
Would a present for him being so sweet and helping me be OK? ^^ Cuz I have to buy it tomorrow if I am gonna get it...^^0 -
Ah...Thank you NotGoddess and binary_jester! ^^ i just dont want to seem too interested in him ^^
would the pastry thing be ok, as long as I act chill otherwise? ^^
I think the pastry thing would be fine but I would hold off on the keychain.
It sounds like he likes you but it's better to flirt around with him than to try to jump right in. Just get to know him better and keep it flirty and be yourself.0 -
Men like girls that are confident.
If you present a package of being "sexy" then your going to be sexy.
If a girl comes up to me within my personal space, and does that little touch on the shoulder, and just oozes feminine wiles, its nearly impossible to ignore.
Head games you do have to be careful with. Also, don't over do perfume. I hate when I can smell petrui from a mile away.
Also, you are 21. seriously, go have fun you are thinking about this way to much.0 -
Seriously, planning to play headgames sounds pretty twisted. Just be yourself and enjoy each other's company. You shouldn't have to try. If you want to give him the keychain, then give it to him.
Either he likes you or he doesn't, but make sure he likes the real you and not the face you put forward. The same goes for dudes.0 -
Ah...Thank you NotGoddess and binary_jester! ^^ i just dont want to seem too interested in him ^^
would the pastry thing be ok, as long as I act chill otherwise? ^^
I think the pastry thing would be fine but I would hold off on the keychain.
It sounds like he likes you but it's better to flirt around with him than to try to jump right in. Just get to know him better and keep it flirty and be yourself.
Thank you! I will buy the pastries tomorrowwMen like girls that are confident.
If you present a package of being "sexy" then your going to be sexy.
If a girl comes up to me within my personal space, and does that little touch on the shoulder, and just oozes feminine wiles, its nearly impossible to ignore.
Head games you do have to be careful with. Also, don't over do perfume. I hate when I can smell petrui from a mile away.
Also, you are 21. seriously, go have fun you are thinking about this way to much.
Thank you! I dont really know how to be firty, but I will touch his shoulder and try my best =D
I will also hold back on perfume ^^Seriously, planning to play headgames sounds pretty twisted. Just be yourself and enjoy each other's company. You shouldn't have to try. If you want to give him the keychain, then give it to him.
Either he likes you or he doesn't, but make sure he likes the real you and not the face you put forward. The same goes for dudes.
Okay, I will give him the keychain too ^^ Thank you! I feel so much more comfortable now...My personality is very "sweet," so I hope it is okay that I will try and act "sexy" XD Im excited to buy pastries and give him the keychain and touch his shoulder >_<0 -
Do the little things to show you are interested. Look him in the eye. I little touch here and there (shoulders, arms and hands...pants region would be called for on the 2nd date).
Some guys (including myself) are clueless in picking up signs. A bra flung in our face MIGHT and I mean MIGHT give us a hint.0 -
Do the little things to show you are interested. Look him in the eye. I little touch here and there (shoulders, arms and hands...pants region would be called for on the 2nd date).
Some guys (including myself) are clueless in picking up signs. A bra flung in our face MIGHT and I mean MIGHT give us a hint.
Thank you so much >_< Your advice is AMAZING!!! I will try and touch him, and look him in the eye ^^ I am memorizing the rest of a Chinese song my ex taught me (wont tell the guy about my ex teaching me tho) ^^ Although its romantic, its very famous there...so I think it will be subtle XD I plan to jokingly sing it, then I will touch his shoulder! XD0 -
Don't ever ignore him!! or anyone for that matter...that's a game..you..don't want to play, or he will be gone.
one little gift is good don't over do it. be calm, be yourself, take your time, have fun. you live once.
take it SLOW...and be confident and relax. he obviously likes you, you are pretty, and don't say you're not, lol!
guys do not give much attention to chicks they don't like.
oh, and when you give him the gift, make sure you reach both hands out and touch is hand while the other hand is placing the gift in his hand.
have fun!!! :-)
and dont talk about your ex....0 -
Don't ever ignore him!! or anyone for that matter...that's a game..you..don't want to play, or he will be gone.
one little gift is good don't over do it. be calm, be yourself, take your time, have fun. you live once.
take it SLOW...and be confident and relax. he obviously likes you, you are pretty, and don't say you're not, lol!
guys do not give much attention to chicks they don't like.
oh, and when you give him the gift, make sure you reach both hands out and touch is hand while the other hand is placing the gift in his hand.
have fun!!! :-)
and dont talk about your ex....
thank u! ^^ i will touch his hands when giving the gift 0 -
SO i asked my wonderful MFP friends for advice on this, but think it is good to also ask here, since I think I need to say something tonight. I think this because the guy who likes me, I like as a friend, but he is being aggressive about his feelings, so I need to say my feelings quickly now too ^^
Today the guy I like and I met at school and the few things he did that *could* show he *might* like me are: When we were walking, he kept bumping into me, and when we sat down with other people to chat, he would sit very close to me, so our legs touched. When he handed me stuff, he would touch my hands every time.
When we ate our bento boxes for lunch, he suddenly mentioned, "Yesterday you went out to dinner with someone. A guy...or a girl?" I said "A guy, our classmate ____" and he went, "Oh..." then he said, "Yknow, when I came here there was an American guy who I spoke with and my English was very good. But when I am with you, it's hard for me to speak English...I don't know why." Then he smiled at me and looked away.
I didnt get to give him a gift yet today though...the opportunity didnt arise naturally But we are planning on speaking tonight (I think) to make plans to go to class together on Wednesday. So I think I should explain to him:
1. Why I am a little shy/quiet around him (I like him)
2. Maybe SUBTLY ask him if he has a girlfriend and/or what kinds of girls he likes (ex white girls? lol)
3. Ask him to lunch.
4. Post a comment on one of his FB photos that would SUBTLY show I think he is cute and sexy without being creepy ^^
Any advice or suggestions on what to say tonight? ^^ It will either be on his Facebook page or on Skype through voice and/or chat ^^
Thank uuu everyone!!! >_<0 -
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