Is he just being nice?

i_love_vinegar

I think I am going to post on his wall, "Thank u for being so nice again...I really like you! >_<"

Is that too subtle or OK? >_< nervous...pls help ppl

Im thinking if he rejects me like, "Ummm I have a gf," or ,"I dont like u..." or something I can say, "oh...I meant I really like u as a friend ^^;" and it wont make things awkward ^^ ...

UPDATE: I just posted the above. My heart feels like its exploding >_< Im dreading rejection, but ive rejected so many ppl...i understand if it happens to me =( I get the feeling he will just ignore what I said...gahhh Dx In the past, the guys I like never seemed to like me (except once), and the guys who like me I never liked (like that). Hopefully the times "are a changin"

binary_jester

Rejection stings, but only for a little while. BUT his admitting the difficulties in speaking English around you is a glimpse as to how he feels and a subtle hint (sheesh..I wish I could use that line).

All I can say is stop 2nd guessing yourself. Be yourself. Be confident. Look at this like a job interview. If you are yourself and it doesn't work out, it is not a reflection on you. Sometimes puzzle pieces don't fit together. Next time you will find one that fits just right.

Plus you're a hottie...so I don't think you have much to worry about.

Good luck.

i_love_vinegar

He responded, "u dont have to say thank u, thats what friends are for" D= Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Maybe my confession wasn't clear enough because I wanted it to be possible that if he rejected me I would say, "Oh, I meant I really like you as a friend har har har" =/ Or he is subtly saying, "Back off" D=

UPDATE: Ok, so I just went ahead and responded lol While I feel like, "Nooooo" I decided to post, "Thank u. I really really really really really like u!!!!!!!!" in response. I can still pretend it is friends though if he doesnt feel the same way XD

agwilker

If I were you, I wouldn't say anymore online. I would wait until you can actually talk to him and see his face, since things online can be easily misinterpreted. From what you have said about him, it seems like he is going over the top in letting you know he's interested. Maybe the comment online "u dont have to say thank u, thats what friends are for", perhaps he doesn't want to assume you meant you are romantically interested. OR maybe he doesn't want to express all that publicly online? Who knows.

But on another note, I'm assuming he's Japanese since your profile says you're in Japan. I hope dating an American isn't like..a novelty, you know what I mean? That being said, I think you're making it waaaay too easy for him. Don't ignore him or anything, but I think you've said enough to let him know you like him. Let him do the rest of the work.

binary_jester

But on another note, I'm assuming he's Japanese since your profile says you're in Japan. I hope dating an American isn't like..a novelty, you know what I mean?

Is that the opposite of an asian fetish?

agwilker

Is that the opposite of an asian fetish?

It sounds that way. It's possible, right? Any American fetishists, care to comment?

i_love_vinegar

But on another note, I'm assuming he's Japanese since your profile says you're in Japan. I hope dating an American isn't like..a novelty, you know what I mean?

Is that the opposite of an asian fetish?

hes Chinese. most guys I date have white fever, and it doesnt bother me ^^ pls lets not go into race/fetishes pls lol

i_love_vinegar

If I were you, I wouldn't say anymore online. I would wait until you can actually talk to him and see his face, since things online can be easily misinterpreted. From what you have said about him, it seems like he is going over the top in letting you know he's interested. Maybe the comment online "u dont have to say thank u, thats what friends are for", perhaps he doesn't want to assume you meant you are romantically interested. OR maybe he doesn't want to express all that publicly online? Who knows.

But on another note, I'm assuming he's Japanese since your profile says you're in Japan. I hope dating an American isn't like..a novelty, you know what I mean? That being said, I think you're making it waaaay too easy for him. Don't ignore him or anything, but I think you've said enough to let him know you like him. Let him do the rest of the work.

Thank You! He actually just responded to my new post, but it was really off topic o_o although I really want to, I will take ur advice and not respond though ^^ i really hope he likes me too =/

binary_jester

Is that the opposite of an asian fetish?

It sounds that way. It's possible, right? Any American fetishists, care to comment?

Sure anything is possible. I find no fault in having an asian fetish. Preference is preference and there really is no right or wrong for the most part.

i_love_vinegar

Is that the opposite of an asian fetish?

It sounds that way. It's possible, right? Any American fetishists, care to comment?

Sure anything is possible. I find no fault in having an asian fetish. Preference is preference and there really is no right or wrong for the most part.

Thank u!!! U r awesome, I really appreciate all the help and advice u have given me on this situation >_< it means a lot!!

agwilker

Thank You! He actually just responded to my new post, but it was really off topic o_o although I really want to, I will take ur advice and not respond though ^^ i really hope he likes me too =/

Good luck! Hope it works out for you.

i_love_vinegar

Thank You! He actually just responded to my new post, but it was really off topic o_o although I really want to, I will take ur advice and not respond though ^^ i really hope he likes me too =/

Good luck! Hope it works out for you.

Thank u ^^ i hope so too ^^

i_love_vinegar

So an update: I was supposed to meet the guy I like today 20 minutes before class, but the bus was 15 minutes late so I came late to class =( The class was packed, but I heard him call my name. He had saved a seat for me >_< And the other cute Chinese guy was there too!

I did not understand the class at all, and unfortunately after class, my crush said, "i have to file paperwork at your dorm campus, would you like to come with me or stay with ____(the other guy)?" I decided to stay with the other guy since he is really cool and I had finally gotten to campus.

Exhausted, I was determined to buy a cell since my crush got his facebook locked! xD So I came home at like 8 pm (got up at 6am) and he went on Skype and messaged me! He asked me to go to another class with him tomorrow. I told him I didn't understand the class so it would be pointless, but he convinced me to go ^^

The other Chinese guy told me, "You are so pretty" at one point, but my crush hasn't said anything =/ The thing is, he is always reminding me of things, and trying to help me...So, I finally asked him,
"Why are you being so nice? Did the teacher (our "supervisor teacher") tell you to help me out?"
And he responded, "The teacher didn't tell me to help you."
I asked him why he was doing this then, and he ignored me a few times and then said, "We both have a class with _____."
He then added, "Since my Facebook is locked, from now on I will come on Skype every night in case you need me. Ok?"

I think the other Chinese guy is very cute, and my Korean friend is so sweet/handsome/fun, but for some reason I still like this guy =/ I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PERSON!!!

agwilker

Was curious how it went. Glad you updated. I still think it sounds like he likes you. As for his recent behavior, you got me on that one. He could just be being nice, but I don't think even nice people would go that much out of their way. You could always just ask him, "Are you just being nice or do you like me as more than a friend?" If he says being nice, you can say "okay, i didn't want to misread your actions". Then I guess you'd have some kind of answer. I'd be curious to know if he's had other girlfriends or is shy around girls he likes.

i_love_vinegar

Was curious how it went. Glad you updated. I still think it sounds like he likes you. As for his recent behavior, you got me on that one. He could just be being nice, but I don't think even nice people would go that much out of their way. You could always just ask him, "Are you just being nice or do you like me as more than a friend?" If he says being nice, you can say "okay, i didn't want to misread your actions". Then I guess you'd have some kind of answer. I'd be curious to know if he's had other girlfriends or is shy around girls he likes.

Thank you for your answer!!! >_< I really appreciate the insight, and I guess..*sigh* I need to ask him this question. Thank you for giving me something to respond if he says, "Just being nice!" btw ^^ I never thought of that! ^^

I can't imagine he hasn't had other girlfriends before, as he is EXTREMELY cute. ^^ Even not for his looks, there is his intelligence. And even then, I can tell he comes from a lot of money. Basically, I think he could get a girl easily XD

He isn't a shy guy is the thing (not AT ALL). He seems pretty confident, sometimes even flirty. He just acts really distant or something, but his actions will be sweet and he will suddenly go quiet and say things that make me wonder if he likes me. Like why did he ask if I went out to dinner with a guy or a girl and why does he take care of me so much?

PS: With other girls, he is nice, but he doesn't do the same stuff for them...For instance, when we were sitting in a group, I was trying to use a large paper clip on a giant pile of papers, but he grabbed it and did it for me. The girl next to us had the same difficulty and I kinda was like, "Oh, she needs help." and he said, "Yeah." but did nothing.

binary_jester

So an update: I was supposed to meet the guy I like today 20 minutes before class, but the bus was 15 minutes late so I came late to class =( The class was packed, but I heard him call my name. He had saved a seat for me >_< And the other cute Chinese guy was there too!

I did not understand the class at all, and unfortunately after class, my crush said, "i have to file paperwork at your dorm campus, would you like to come with me or stay with ____(the other guy)?" I decided to stay with the other guy since he is really cool and I had finally gotten to campus.

Exhausted, I was determined to buy a cell since my crush got his facebook locked! xD So I came home at like 8 pm (got up at 6am) and he went on Skype and messaged me! He asked me to go to another class with him tomorrow. I told him I didn't understand the class so it would be pointless, but he convinced me to go ^^

The other Chinese guy told me, "You are so pretty" at one point, but my crush hasn't said anything =/ The thing is, he is always reminding me of things, and trying to help me...So, I finally asked him,
"Why are you being so nice? Did the teacher (our "supervisor teacher") tell you to help me out?"
And he responded, "The teacher didn't tell me to help you."
I asked him why he was doing this then, and he ignored me a few times and then said, "We both have a class with _____."
He then added, "Since my Facebook is locked, from now on I will come on Skype every night in case you need me. Ok?"

I think the other Chinese guy is very cute, and my Korean friend is so sweet/handsome/fun, but for some reason I still like this guy =/ I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PERSON!!!

TL;DR Cliffnotes?

agwilker

In all of those situations you described, I think he really does like you. He's sending mixed signals, so it's hard to know what he's thinking. I think you have opened the door for him to tell you he likes you, with some of the questions you've asked him.

I did have a thought though. When he asked if you went to dinner with a girl or guy? It was a guy. Then when he asked you to come with him to the dorm campus and you stayed with the other guy. Maybe, he is thinking that you like other people also. I'm thinking being direct with him is the best course of action, so you won't have to guess.

[Edit: If I thought someone I liked was into someone else/other people, I would probably back off so I didn't get my feelings hurt. But I think I would still act interested in case I'm wrong. Maybe he's thinking the same way, idk.]

i_love_vinegar

So an update: I was supposed to meet the guy I like today 20 minutes before class, but the bus was 15 minutes late so I came late to class =( The class was packed, but I heard him call my name. He had saved a seat for me >_< And the other cute Chinese guy was there too!

I did not understand the class at all, and unfortunately after class, my crush said, "i have to file paperwork at your dorm campus, would you like to come with me or stay with ____(the other guy)?" I decided to stay with the other guy since he is really cool and I had finally gotten to campus.

Exhausted, I was determined to buy a cell since my crush got his facebook locked! xD So I came home at like 8 pm (got up at 6am) and he went on Skype and messaged me! He asked me to go to another class with him tomorrow. I told him I didn't understand the class so it would be pointless, but he convinced me to go ^^

The other Chinese guy told me, "You are so pretty" at one point, but my crush hasn't said anything =/ The thing is, he is always reminding me of things, and trying to help me...So, I finally asked him,
"Why are you being so nice? Did the teacher (our "supervisor teacher") tell you to help me out?"
And he responded, "The teacher didn't tell me to help you."
I asked him why he was doing this then, and he ignored me a few times and then said, "We both have a class with _____."
He then added, "Since my Facebook is locked, from now on I will come on Skype every night in case you need me. Ok?"

I think the other Chinese guy is very cute, and my Korean friend is so sweet/handsome/fun, but for some reason I still like this guy =/ I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PERSON!!!

TL;DR Cliffnotes?

So sorry ^^ Basically, he asked me today if I wanted to go hang out with him or stay on campus with the other Chinese guy. I decided to stay on campus. When I got home, he logged on Skype after I did and started chatting with me, asking me to go to class with him again tomorrow. I told him it was pointless since I didn't understand the class, but he convinced me to go. He checked up on me to make sure I was doing everything I was supposed to. I felt like he is being my dad, so I asked him, "Did our teacher tell you to help me?" and he said, "No, he never asked me. Anyways, as I said, my Facebook was locked. So, every night I will go on Skype in case you need me, okay?" (even though we have eachothers cellphone #s). >_<

i_love_vinegar

In all of those situations you described, I think he really does like you. He's sending mixed signals, so it's hard to know what he's thinking. I think you have opened the door for him to tell you he likes you, with some of the questions you've asked him.

I did have a thought though. When he asked if you went to dinner with a girl or guy? It was a guy. Then when he asked you to come with him to the dorm campus and you stayed with the other guy. Maybe, he is thinking that you like other people also. I'm thinking being direct with him is the best course of action, so you won't have to guess.

Thank you so much ^^ I sure hope he likes me. I never thought of the dinner thing that way...I never mentioned it here cuz I didnt think it mattered, but after I told him he responded, "Oh..." and waited a couple minutes (we were eating), "Well, he is really good at Japanese, so if you need help you can always ask him since he lives so close to you" He seemed disappointed though, hard to explain...^^ Im scared to be direct...but I will try to work up the courage to ask him that question tomorrow, "Is it that you like me as more than friends?" !! >_<

agwilker

Yes, this sounds very nerdy, but I saw this anime once where a guy asked the girl the same question. "Was dinner with a girl or guy?" She said guy and his face went :indifferent: , but inside he was feeling :sad: . I clearly watched it for educational reasons.

i_love_vinegar

I LOVE ANIME! Could you please tell me what series you are talking about...You know, for educational purposes as well? ;P

WifeNMama

bump. Anyone? He looks like a model, so Im a bit nervous ^^ I am thinking of slightly ignoring him today/tomorrow, but when we see eachother monday I will dress very well lol.

Hopefully he will still be a little annoyed with me, but will think I look good that day ^^ Then I will give him the present and he will feel like a jerk being annoyed with me, and like me more...does this sound ok?

I have to chime in here. This is just sounding manipulative. Would you still think he was a great guy if you found out he was doing this to you? Just be the person you are instead of the person you think he wants. Because it sounds like he liked You in the first place. Enjoy the nervous crush time, enjoy his company, and don't overthink it. :-)

agwilker

I LOVE ANIME! Could you please tell me what series you are talking about...You know, for educational purposes as well? ;P

I'm wondering if it was Clannad. The stories start to seem interlaced after awhile, so I can't remember what happened where. lol

i_love_vinegar

bump. Anyone? He looks like a model, so Im a bit nervous ^^ I am thinking of slightly ignoring him today/tomorrow, but when we see eachother monday I will dress very well lol.

Hopefully he will still be a little annoyed with me, but will think I look good that day ^^ Then I will give him the present and he will feel like a jerk being annoyed with me, and like me more...does this sound ok?

I have to chime in here. This is just sounding manipulative. Would you still think he was a great guy if you found out he was doing this to you? Just be the person you are instead of the person you think he wants. Because it sounds like he liked You in the first place. Enjoy the nervous crush time, enjoy his company, and don't overthink it. :-)

Thank you! I really appreciate this reminder to not play games I am trying to be more honest, but it's difficult for me in this situation >_<

i_love_vinegar

I LOVE ANIME! Could you please tell me what series you are talking about...You know, for educational purposes as well? ;P

I'm wondering if it was Clannad. The stories start to seem interlaced after awhile, so I can't remember what happened where. lol

Ive always meant to seen Clannad (well, since it came out :P), so even if its not from that anime, Thank you!!

agwilker

I LOVE ANIME! Could you please tell me what series you are talking about...You know, for educational purposes as well? ;P

I'm wondering if it was Clannad. The stories start to seem interlaced after awhile, so I can't remember what happened where. lol

Ive always meant to seen Clannad (well, since it came out :P), so even if its not from that anime, Thank you!!

It's a good one either way.

i_love_vinegar

Hey everyone,

I have another thread about the same guy http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/361102-men-would-you-think-anything-of-this-comment?hl=men+comment&page=4#posts-4927688 It is called "Men, would you think anything of this comment?" as shown in the link ^^

I just wanted to give an update so far: I decided to stop being so creepy, and to just see where things go. Since he is still helping me a lot with everything, I decided I will help him practice his English (He asked me to just speak with him) without any romantic expectations.

I assumed my crush has had lots of romantic experience, but then realized today that it is possible he could have none...I remember assuming the same thing about my last boyfriend (same country/culture), but found out I was his first kiss (and he was older than this guy). Besides him asking me out, I initiated everything...

Actually, I realized I am always attracted to the same type of guy. From Asia (usually China or Korea), confident/sweet/innocent, but doesn't seem it, watches out for me. So although I would like to, I will not blackmail him into sleeping with me in exchange for teaching English! >_<

My ex always told me, "Chinese men don't show their love through words, but through actions."
A lot of the Chinese guys here are very sweet to me (they call me pretty and tell me jokes all the time), but my crush never says anything, but he always does things to help me...so I hope this is true!!!

A couple things that made me a bit hopeful today besides realizing he might be very innocent is: He asked me if I wanted to go to school on Tuesday with him, although I said I don't have classes on Tuesday...I said no though ^^ He also asked me to meet him 30 minutes before class this Wednesday, and recited things I told him when we first met (ex hobbies). Tonight we were chatting, and he asked me to help him with something and gave me his personal information (username/password, address, etc). >_<

I really like reading about romance etc, so I will keep updating this thread for those who are interested.

SkateboardFi

Hey everyone,

I have another thread about the same guy http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/361102-men-would-you-think-anything-of-this-comment?hl=men+comment&page=4#posts-4927688 It is called "Men, would you think anything of this comment?" as shown in the link ^^

I just wanted to give an update so far: I decided to stop being so creepy, and to just see where things go. Since he is still helping me a lot with everything, I decided I will help him practice his English (He asked me to just speak with him) without any romantic expectations.

I assumed my crush has had lots of romantic experience, but then realized today that it is possible he could have none...I remember assuming the same thing about my last boyfriend (same country/culture), but found out I was his first kiss (and he was older than this guy). Besides him asking me out, I initiated everything...

Actually, I realized I am always attracted to the same type of guy. From Asia (usually China or Korea), confident/sweet/innocent, but doesn't seem it, watches out for me. So although I would like to, I will not blackmail him into sleeping with me in exchange for teaching English! >_<

My ex always told me, "Chinese men don't show their love through words, but through actions."
A lot of the Chinese guys here are very sweet to me (they call me pretty and tell me jokes all the time), but my crush never says anything, but he always does things to help me...so I hope this is true!!!

A couple things that made me a bit hopeful today besides realizing he might be very innocent is: He asked me if I wanted to go to school on Tuesday with him, although I said I don't have classes on Tuesday...I said no though ^^ He also asked me to meet him 30 minutes before class this Wednesday, and recited things I told him when we first met (ex hobbies). Tonight we were chatting, and he asked me to help him with something and gave me his personal information (username/password, address, etc). >_<

I really like reading about romance etc, so I will keep updating this thread for those who are interested.

awwwww yes! keep us (me) updated i'm really interested in seeing where this ends up

i_love_vinegar

So I have an update:

He still often reminds me of stuff I need to do, but the last time I helped him with his English. I told him his accent was cute, although I didn't mean it in a flirty way. He told me he would fix an essay and ask me to read it, but never asked me...So I asked him for help with Chinese, and he helped me. Last week I was running late to class and he called me. I came in late, and I sat down across from him. I sat next to the other Chinese exchange student (girl) and she kept dozing off haha. Anyways, I am not sure, but I am pretty sure my crush was looking at me a lot. We never spoke about him calling.

We went to a party and he said another weird thing, "You wore a dress..." Last time he said, "You changed your nail polish..."

We split off and I went home with a girl I met. There was another party the next day and I asked him where we were supposed to meet, and he mentioned, "Dont be late." Well, ever since that day I was late to class he always reminds me, "We have to do ____ dont be late!" Ever since I mentioned his accent he always calls it his "cute accent" now as well...

So today I needed his help and asked on his fb. He called to respond instead and told me he would help me tomorrow.
I posted a disturbed cartoon on his wall in order to see how he reacted since it ends with "thank you" haha. He didnt seem the least bit phased by a man and his dog having their limbs cut off and implanted on each other, but rather that his English skill wasnt good enough to understand the video o_O

I sent him a message correcting his English because he seemed a bit upset...He responded "You are the best. How about be my private teacher, it's a big honor and I have not given it to anyone yet, hahaha"

I dont know what to think because I feel like if he liked me, he would have asked me out by now...but then again, there is a guy who I am positive likes me, but he has not asked me out since the first time we hung out o_O

In a way I feel like he just wants someone to teach him English, but on the other hand, he stopped asking me for help until today. Plus he is constantly helping me.

Any thoughts on this? Thanksxo

SkateboardFi

So I have an update:

He still often reminds me of stuff I need to do, but the last time I helped him with his English. I told him his accent was cute, although I didn't mean it in a flirty way. He told me he would fix an essay and ask me to read it, but never asked me...So I asked him for help with Chinese, and he helped me. Last week I was running late to class and he called me. I came in late, and I sat down across from him. I sat next to the other Chinese exchange student (girl) and she kept dozing off haha. Anyways, I am not sure, but I am pretty sure my crush was looking at me a lot. We never spoke about him calling.

We went to a party and he said another weird thing, "You wore a dress..." Last time he said, "You changed your nail polish..."

We split off and I went home with a girl I met. There was another party the next day and I asked him where we were supposed to meet, and he mentioned, "Dont be late." Well, ever since that day I was late to class he always reminds me, "We have to do ____ dont be late!" Ever since I mentioned his accent he always calls it his "cute accent" now as well...

So today I needed his help and asked on his fb. He called to respond instead and told me he would help me tomorrow.
I posted a disturbed cartoon on his wall in order to see how he reacted since it ends with "thank you" haha. He didnt seem the least bit phased by a man and his dog having their limbs cut off and implanted on each other, but rather that his English skill wasnt good enough to understand the video o_O

I sent him a message correcting his English because he seemed a bit upset...He responded "You are the best. How about be my private teacher, it's a big honor and I have not given it to anyone yet, hahaha"

I dont know what to think because I feel like if he liked me, he would have asked me out by now...but then again, there is a guy who I am positive likes me, but he has not asked me out since the first time we hung out o_O

In a way I feel like he just wants someone to teach him English, but on the other hand, he stopped asking me for help until today. Plus he is constantly helping me.

Any thoughts on this? Thanksxo

it sounds like he likes you. and you DO remind me of an anime character with these boy dilemmas lol