What age to talk about the "bird and the bees" to your kid?

AshjMusik

Our public schools here do the sex Ed in 5th grade, & the girls got goodie bags w/ pads.. all very basic. Thst same year a boy told me he had a ***er for me.. I asked my mom what that was & why he wouldn't give it to me Lol. She rented out every PG book in the library to screen 4info on what to say, & wouldn't even let me see the illustrations of the 'married' couples snuggling in the same bed under the blankets. Of course u learn everything from ur friends & especially now the internet, but when u don't have the life experience u don't know how to handle bad situations. I don't have children, but when the time comes I'd rather have them prepared for what to expect (physically & socially) from sex. I don't want my daughter to be as naive as I was, it's easy to be taken advantage of.

cedarhurst2006

My daughter's middle school taught a health class that went into a lot of detail. That was 6th grade. We wanted to talk with her about it then. The school sent home a paper each year she had health class giving us the terms and vocabulary words they would be talking about. Embarrassingly, my husband and I didn't know some of the things on the list - it was a learning experience for all of us :blushing:

ItsCasey

My parents never had this specific talk with me. I learned about sex from a book in the library when I was 11 (written for young children). It started out by showing drawings of different types of animals in the act of "mating" and explained what they were doing. This part was a shock to me because I grew up on a cattle ranch, and my parents would always tell us when we saw a bull mounting a heifer/cow that they were "fighting." Anyway, after the book discussed animals, it had a drawing of a man on top of a woman in bed and explained what the man was doing. The book created more questions for me than it answered, but I couldn't bring myself to ask my mom because I thought I'd get in trouble for reading that book.

At the time, I was relieved that my parents never made me sit down and listen to a really embarrassing talk about sex or puberty, but now, I think it created an environment where I didn't feel like those were subjects that were okay to talk about, so I would never bring it up with them. I just kept learning things from books until 7th grade biology when we had a whole unit on puberty and sex and pregnancy and all that.

I definitely think with girls, you should at least discuss menstruation with them BEFORE it happens, if possible. My mom didn't, and I had no idea what was going on the first time it happened.

karenjoy

please don't leave it until they are 9 or ten, it's far too late, my son knew what roasting, dogging and cottaging was by that age, and my daughter told me about 'rainbow kisses' tell them young so they know the real truth already when they hear the rubbish from other kids

kb455

My oldest is 6 and I hate to admit that I don't even know when I'll have "the talk" with him. I definitely wanna be more proactive about it than my parents were. By the time my mom and I had the sex talk, it was a bit too late :ohwell: And my poor dad, well, he was too embarrassed to even talk to me about sex. I learned about it from talking to my more "experienced" friends. I don't know that there is a particular age when you should talk to them, I think its probably different for every kid.

Deathwithab

they taught our entire elementary school when i was in grade 3 lol and i already knew 80% of the stuff they told us,

jr1985

You may begin discussing with them at any age actually. What will be different is the content and how you present it. You may just discuss basic anatomical differences for very very young children (e.g., 3-4 years old.) 1st and 2nd grade is a good time to introduce more topics such as different family units. There are books out there about sex made for children, that could help you. Remember, children are very accepting of information early on. As they get older, the more awkward it will be for both of you. Best of luck.

This! I never really had the talk... but when I have kids, I would want it coming from me instead of from their friends, tv, the internet, etc. Sadly, I already knew a lot about sex from the kids on the bus when I was in like 2nd grade... You don't need to be awkward about it... but start discussing it in an age appropriate way when they are young so they don't hear it from other sources first.

dcaballero87

I never got the dating or sex talk. I'm actually thankful for that since I would have found it a little awkward.

StrengthIDidntKnow

My daughter is 5. We started talking this weekend about how there are differences between boys and girls. I figured it was time I started explaining some things because she was arguing with me that boys pee out of their belly buttons.

My mom was always pretty open, I just don't remember how old I was. She was a strict catholic so the talk usually started about how you should wait until you were married but if you didn't this is what you needed to do. She started one conversation with "I know how good sex can feel...", I think my brain shut down for a bit after that, I don't remember much.

argharna

I had a basic talk with my son at an early age (7) due to what some kids where saying to him. Then when he had the sex ed class in 5th grade I sat him down and went into detail with him. I have tried to talk to my kids through over the years about sex so they wont feel ashamed to come to me if they needs anything. But I would say if around 4/5th grade is when I would really have any talks with them.

aqua4u75

I totally feel like a fish out of water. I had no idea what I was doing when I was younger; I started to experiment with "sexual fantasies" around 7,8 or maybe 9. No it wasn't with a guy... You can take that how you want and you are probably correct Maybe I was just early or something. I never had a "talk" with either of my parents. To their knowledge, and what I think they believe, is I am still their little innocent girl although I am nearly 26 years old and that is far beyond true... (one of my ex's little girl's is 6 and has been caught um... Not sure how to say it... Pleasuring herself. Sorry if I could have used better words)

I guess my suggestion would be, take into consideration the relationship you have with your child as well as how mature they are in thought and body. If they get embarrassed by what you have to say chances are they already know what it means. Doesn't mean they have experienced it though.

Jaidee1979

My parents never talked to us kids about this subject because it's considered "taboo" in my culture to do so. I learned about the birds and the bees from sex ed class in 6th grade.

ninerbuff

bump

ElizabethRoad

I totally feel like a fish out of water. I had no idea what I was doing when I was younger; I started to experiment with "sexual fantasies" around 7,8 or maybe 9. No it wasn't with a guy... You can take that how you want and you are probably correct Maybe I was just early or something. I never had a "talk" with either of my parents. To their knowledge, and what I think they believe, is I am still their little innocent girl although I am nearly 26 years old and that is far beyond true... (one of my ex's little girl's is 6 and has been caught um... Not sure how to say it... Pleasuring herself. Sorry if I could have used better words)

I guess my suggestion would be, take into consideration the relationship you have with your child as well as how mature they are in thought and body. If they get embarrassed by what you have to say chances are they already know what it means. Doesn't mean they have experienced it though.

What do you mean, "caught"? Like it's a bad thing? Way to go, make her feel embarrassed about a natural function at a young age, that should work out really well.

asyouseefit

As soon as questions are asked.