Arrogance vs Self Confidence

SimplyShanRunning

So this has been bothering me a little well to be honest a lot. I made the comment to a friend the other day about how proud I was of my legs. They are way more toned now that I have been running and I can actually see my muscles without having to flex. After saying this to her....She told me that I shouldn't let my head get to big. That it was an arrogant statment to make.

In saying this please note she is not a close friend.....more of a coworker than anything

So what are your thoughts....When does self confidence stretech over into arrogance?

binary_jester

When you stop caring what other people think, some will perceive it as arrogance.

Justjoshin

You worked at it, you should be proud of it.

Bragging about how fit you are is one thing. Saying you are proud of your accomplishment is another.

Jealousy is an ugly beast.

DiabeticAlien

That was NOT an arrogant statement to say. You have worked hard to get in shape, you have worked hard to get your legs toned, you deserve to be able to make comments about them. More than likely this person is either jealous that you are accomplishing something she cannot, or she is one of those people that have to take everything and try to drag it down.

bry_all01

in my opinion, what you said was based off of self confidence. (No, this is not because you are my friend, but the honest truth). You are PROUD of your accomplishment, and rightfully so! Show those legs. Be proud of those legs! You've worked hard and you DESERVE to be proud and want to share them.

Now, as far as the co-worker goes, sounds to me, in MY opinion that she could have a case a green eyed monster attack. In the case that is what it is, then so be it. Tha tis HER issue and cross to bear, not yours.

Arrogance is a feeling of superiority, that you are better than her and everyone else. So, no. I do not agree with her statement. You worked HARD to get those shapely legs, so it is definitely confidence. Work it, girl!

FearAnLoathing

it does not make you arrogant to be proud of the work you have done.Dont let it get to you.


Oh and if she says it to you again let me know and I will smack her around with my inflatable Willy doll

robin52077

self confidence is loving yourself, being proud of your accomplishments, and sharing the joy with others without being overly boastful, just happy.

arrogance would be implying that you are better than anyone else who has NOT made these same accomplishments, and just generally being smug or stuck up about it, like looking down at others who have not yet made that commitment.

It sounds to me like you were just being happy about your achievement and she is jealous of your hotness.:flowerforyou:

BecksgotBack

i don't think it was arrogant. you've been working really hard at getting those sexy legs. it's all about the other person's perception. could be a fine line. but to he!! with what other people think...if somebody thinks i'm arrogant vs. self confident then oh well. can't make everybody happy all the time...just yourself and the people closest to you.

I_give_it_2_u_str8

You worked at it, you should be proud of it.

Bragging about how fit you are is one thing. Saying you are proud of your accomplishment is another.

Jealousy is an ugly beast.

haha thats a badass photo!

PantalaNagaPampa

It is only arrogant if you continue to say it all the time. There is nothing worng with being proud of your accomplisments. You worked for those legs, feel good about them. Show them off once in awhile and be proud. I don't see you as an arrogant person.

I_give_it_2_u_str8

from my experience, having to justify yourself to ppl with insecurities is a never ending battle.

their whole purpose is to tare you down to their level. just ignore her

you dont want ppl like that in your life anyway

iAMaPhoenix

You worked at it, you should be proud of it.

Bragging about how fit you are is one thing. Saying you are proud of your accomplishment is another.

Jealousy is an ugly beast.

Yep, this about sums it up. Fvck what they think. I would make it my life's mission to ask her daily about a different body partto give her something else to think about

VeganGal84

I'm not sure! As one who had terrible self-image and self-esteem for decades, it is really nice to be self-confident now, and I wouldn't know if I was being arrogant, either.

For what it's worth, that sounds like jealousy to me, and that you were being confident, not arrogant.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Sounds like she's just jealous and wanted to be hurtful, but here are some important definitions on this:

Definition of SELF-CONFIDENCE
: confidence in oneself and in one's powers and abilities
— self–con·fi·dent \-fə-dənt, -ˌdent\ adjective
— self–con·fi·dent·ly adverb


Definition of SELF-ESTEEM
1: a confidence and satisfaction in oneself : self-respect
2: self-conceit


Definition of ARROGANCE
: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions

Definition of PRIDE
1: the quality or state of being proud: as a : inordinate self-esteem : conceit b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect c : delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship <parental pride>


Do you have an attitude of superiority?

heathersmilez

It depends on your tone, who brought up the conversation and your relationship with the person to whom you are speaking with.

If she brought up how nice your legs were, there is nothing arrogant in you saying thank you and advising that running has really helped define them and you are really happy with the progress thus far.

If you brought up how awesome your legs were especially to a co-worker not a family member or close friend, that comes off as arrogant and she was right to react the way she did – of course it’s out of jealousy so don’t let it get you down just be careful what you say, how you say it and to whom in the future.

_beachgirl_

I think it can be a thin line sometimes, but it is always subjective.

I have a friend who is very self-confident, she has lost weight, works hard at getting fit, and is proud of her accomplishments. But the constant "look at me" makes her arrogant.

scubatahiti

Be loud and Proud. You have every right to talk about your success.

Namaste1983

JEALOUSY.... SHE HAZ IT
LOL
YOU WERE COMMENTING ON YOUR PROGRESS AND ANYONE WHO HAS WORKED OUT KNOWS THAT CONFIDENCE IS A GREAT BONUS OF HEALTH. SOME PEOPLE DON'T LOVE THEMSELVES SO THEIR PERCEPTION IS TAINTED.

BigDaddyBRC

The difference comes in interpretation of the individual(s) viewing you, and how you do yourself. That being said, adding a sarcastic tone of voice can influence that perception

JNick77

I dont think your comment was really an expression of either, you were just proud of your progress. IMO, confidence becomes arrogance when one is very vocal or obnoxious about something theyre proud of. For instance, if somebody saw you in a short dress and commented on your legs and you said thanks or just acknowledged the comment thats fine. Your obviously confident enough to wear the dress but didnt endulge in the compliment. Now if you said something like, damn straight my legs are the **** wish you could touch them dont you... then yeah you'd be an *kitten*.

PeachyKeene

She is a jealous B!tch! Don't let it bother you anymore! You work hard to get them in shape and you should be proud of the transformation.

bcattoes

Honestly, I could see how that could be perceived as either (arrogance or self confidence) depending on the situation, tone and who brought the subject up. If she mentioned your legs and then you said how hard you'd worked and that you were proud of the results, then that is not arrogance (but there's no telling how people will perceive anything). If you walked up and out of the blue said "I've been really working my legs and think they are hot now", then I can see how that could be thought of as arrogance or conceit. I think an aquaintance would generally be more likely to see arrogance than a friend would.

Scott613

It wasn't arrogance! If you said my legs are better than yours than that could be considered arrogant. This can be summed up as jealousy on her part. She wants legs like yours.

SoDamnHungry

Let's see, you worked hard, and wanted to tell someone you were happy with the result. Instead of agreeing with you, she told you you sounded arrogant? Unless you said it in a really rude way, sounds to me like she's jealous of your progress.

bcattoes

I think it can be a thin line sometimes, but it is always subjective.

I have a friend who is very self-confident, she has lost weight, works hard at getting fit, and is proud of her accomplishments. But the constant "look at me" makes her arrogant.

I've experienced that with friends/family too, but I try to just smile and say "That's awesome!" because I'm sure I've been guilty of it myself at times. When I first started Zumba and my weight dropped quickly I couldn't stop talking about it and I'm sure it annoyed both friends and family.

klynn08

You look fabulous girl! And you should be bragging about your legs you have worked hard!

Lizzy_Sunflower

I had another friend going through this last week here is what I told them:
First off If you are arrogant in your pride, then it could be bad. When your heart is in the right place, I think that is the key

What does that look like? my 1st thought was " I know it when I see it".
http://www.communicationconfidence.com/confidence-vs-arrogance.html
I think the main point I took away from this was: A confident person accepts their weaknesses or faults, even though they may not like them. whereas an arrogant person would ignore said weakness and play up strength. Does that make sense?

Arrogant People: View themselves as superior,Always know what's better for others, Are incisive in their transactions with others, Never admit their mistakes, Revel in the blunders of others ; Confident People: Believe in themselves and in their talents,Are open about their objectives and potential, Are gifted competitors, Aren't afraid to recognize their missteps,

You don't come across as arrogant here. You have worked hard and should be proud of your results

joehempel

As the token person for self-depreciation, I really never say anything unless someone else says something first.

Almost sounds like "fishing for compliments" I dunno. Not saying you were though.

I post my weight and times for running and such on facebook, and if people comment and ask about what I'm doing then I'm happy to talk about it.

I never say anything in person though unless someone says it first.

I don't think you were being arrogant by any means though.

2Heavy2Long

Your comment should not have been interpreted as arrogant, especially if this woman knew before you lost weight. Definitely sounds like jealousy to me.

2Heavy2Long

Double post

LorinaLynn

Confidence is being happy with your accomplishments.

Arrogance is thinking those accomplishments make you better than anyone else.

On the surface, what you said doesn't sound arrogant, but I could see how it *could* come off that way, depending on how the conversation came up.