Arrogance vs Self Confidence

bcattoes

Honestly, I could see how that could be perceived as either (arrogance or self confidence) depending on the situation, tone and who brought the subject up. If she mentioned your legs and then you said how hard you'd worked and that you were proud of the results, then that is not arrogance (but there's no telling how people will perceive anything). If you walked up and out of the blue said "I've been really working my legs and think they are hot now", then I can see how that could be thought of as arrogance or conceit. I think an aquaintance would generally be more likely to see arrogance than a friend would.

Scott613

It wasn't arrogance! If you said my legs are better than yours than that could be considered arrogant. This can be summed up as jealousy on her part. She wants legs like yours.

SoDamnHungry

Let's see, you worked hard, and wanted to tell someone you were happy with the result. Instead of agreeing with you, she told you you sounded arrogant? Unless you said it in a really rude way, sounds to me like she's jealous of your progress.

bcattoes

I think it can be a thin line sometimes, but it is always subjective.

I have a friend who is very self-confident, she has lost weight, works hard at getting fit, and is proud of her accomplishments. But the constant "look at me" makes her arrogant.

I've experienced that with friends/family too, but I try to just smile and say "That's awesome!" because I'm sure I've been guilty of it myself at times. When I first started Zumba and my weight dropped quickly I couldn't stop talking about it and I'm sure it annoyed both friends and family.

klynn08

You look fabulous girl! And you should be bragging about your legs you have worked hard!

Lizzy_Sunflower

I had another friend going through this last week here is what I told them:
First off If you are arrogant in your pride, then it could be bad. When your heart is in the right place, I think that is the key

What does that look like? my 1st thought was " I know it when I see it".
http://www.communicationconfidence.com/confidence-vs-arrogance.html
I think the main point I took away from this was: A confident person accepts their weaknesses or faults, even though they may not like them. whereas an arrogant person would ignore said weakness and play up strength. Does that make sense?

Arrogant People: View themselves as superior,Always know what's better for others, Are incisive in their transactions with others, Never admit their mistakes, Revel in the blunders of others ; Confident People: Believe in themselves and in their talents,Are open about their objectives and potential, Are gifted competitors, Aren't afraid to recognize their missteps,

You don't come across as arrogant here. You have worked hard and should be proud of your results

joehempel

As the token person for self-depreciation, I really never say anything unless someone else says something first.

Almost sounds like "fishing for compliments" I dunno. Not saying you were though.

I post my weight and times for running and such on facebook, and if people comment and ask about what I'm doing then I'm happy to talk about it.

I never say anything in person though unless someone says it first.

I don't think you were being arrogant by any means though.

2Heavy2Long

Your comment should not have been interpreted as arrogant, especially if this woman knew before you lost weight. Definitely sounds like jealousy to me.

2Heavy2Long

Double post

LorinaLynn

Confidence is being happy with your accomplishments.

Arrogance is thinking those accomplishments make you better than anyone else.

On the surface, what you said doesn't sound arrogant, but I could see how it *could* come off that way, depending on how the conversation came up.

MFPAddict

Definitely not arrogant. Don't let her jealousy get to you.

KayakAngel

My impression is that you can't control how someone else takes your comments. To this coworker, maybe she thought it was arrogant, or she was jealous, whatever. But someone else will hear you say the same thing, and you become her inspiration to get healthy. That's the way I tend to think of it. But maybe I'm arrogant?

Contrarian

I think there is a fine line. Should you be proud of your hard work? Absolutely. Having said that, you need to choose your audience for discussing your accomplishments carefully. If someone I didn't know very well starting talking about how much they liked their legs/arms/abs/whatever, I wouldn't tell them that I thought they were arrogant, but I would think it was kind of weird.

People who aren't interested in fitness don't understand that we are making comparisons to how we used to look, but rather, they see it as us bigging ourselves up and possibly showing off. I know that wasn't your intention here, but it could have come across that way.

lor007

I think there is a fine line. Should you be proud of your hard work? Absolutely. Having said that, you need to choose your audience for discussing your accomplishments carefully. If someone I didn't know very well starting talking about how much they liked their legs/arms/abs/whatever, I wouldn't tell them that I thought they were arrogant, but I would think it was kind of weird.

People who aren't interested in fitness don't understand that we are making comparisons to how we used to look, but rather, they see it as us bigging ourselves up and possibly showing off. I know that wasn't your intention here, but it could have come across that way.

Love your signature!

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

I think there is a fine line. Should you be proud of your hard work? Absolutely. Having said that, you need to choose your audience for discussing your accomplishments carefully. If someone I didn't know very well starting talking about how much they liked their legs/arms/abs/whatever, I wouldn't tell them that I thought they were arrogant, but I would think it was kind of weird.

People who aren't interested in fitness don't understand that we are making comparisons to how we used to look, but rather, they see it as us bigging ourselves up and possibly showing off. I know that wasn't your intention here, but it could have come across that way.

These are two paragraphs that spew truth with every word.

kennethmgreen

Some great feedback here already. Others have listed the definitions of the words being compared. I think it's important to note two things: 1) arrogance implies a comparison to others - that you are better/more deserving/etc. 2) how you are perceived is often not how you intend to be perceived.

The problem is the intertwining of #1 and #2. As Contrarian eloquently noted, how someone perceives you being proud of your accomplishments can feel weird, or even as some kind of comparison to their own accomplishments. Is that arrogant if they perceive it as arrogant? Sure it is. To them.

There are plenty of well-meaning people that will tell you what you did was not arrogant. But it doesn't really matter. It doesn't change how you felt about the interaction, nor does it change how your co-worker felt about the interaction. Each of you had different experiences. Life goes on.

For what it's worth, I think you've done some amazing things and have every right to shout from the rooftops about your accomplishments. But that doesn't mean some roof dwellers won't think you are arrogant for doing so.

MrsCon40

I think there is a fine line. Should you be proud of your hard work? Absolutely. Having said that, you need to choose your audience for discussing your accomplishments carefully. If someone I didn't know very well starting talking about how much they liked their legs/arms/abs/whatever, I wouldn't tell them that I thought they were arrogant, but I would think it was kind of weird.

People who aren't interested in fitness don't understand that we are making comparisons to how we used to look, but rather, they see it as us bigging ourselves up and possibly showing off. I know that wasn't your intention here, but it could have come across that way.

^^ This

goron59

It's not a question of arrogance or self confidence - it's just you being proud of yourself. What's wrong with that? Good for you!

sunkisses

I don't think that's arrogance at all. It doesn't even sound like bragging. It's good to like things about yourself. Now you know who not to express that to, unfortunately.

2_Up

There was nothing wrong with what you said. There are a lot of people who wish they were fit and will be jealous of those that are fit. You should be proud about what you've accomplished and I don't think you were being arrogant at all. You making a statement about something you're proud about should be something a good friend reinforces, not something they tear you down for making.

I'd just not talk to her about your accomplishments with this person any longer because it's obvious she is envious and jaded about your accomplishments. People can get very mean and nasty when it comes to trying to become healthy because they want that for themselves and they direct their hate they have for not doing it for themselves to those that took the initiative to better themselves.

Co-workers talk trash to me all the time since I started dieting saying things like "I think its funny you eat the way you do, guys shouldn't care about what they eat... they just eat whatever they want!" or they call me "Lunch-Box" because they all order out and I bring a small cooler of stuff from home with me with my healthy dinners etc. The people that say these things are not in shape and they try to get me to cheat on my diet all the time by leaving pizza/donuts/soda on my desk etc. I learned to ignore these people and I only speak to like minded people when it comes to fitness/health.