for guys... When you see a girl with limited clothing on..

Blackthorne99

I was talking to my cousin the other day about how i wish girls would wear more clothing because its very disrespectful to themselves and to other people and he agreed. He told me that whenever he sees a pretty girl with a short dress, skirt or shorts, and/or a revealing top, he cant help but think dirty thoughts about her and he didnt want to have those thoughts as he is in a serious relationship with his girlfriend. I asked him if every guy thought like that and he told me most of them do.

so this leads me to ask for you fella's honest response... when you see a girl thats in revealing clothing, do you think nasty thoughts, or do you just think oh shes hot and move on?

There are two different trains of thought in this post.

1) How men react to the sight of a woman
2) Self-respect and respect for others.


My thoughts on this are:

People are responsible for their own behaviour, including your cousin and whether or not he mentally, emotionally or physically reacts to the sight of the human body. His failure to control himself is not the responsibility of the person he's looking at. It is this type of thinking that leads to blaming the victim in cases of sexual abuse.

Secondly, everyone has different definitions of what is appropriate in terms of nudity, partial nudity, and body acceptance. Presuming that the human body is dirty is based on YOUR moral code, and is NOT universal.

There are social situations where certain types or levels of dress are considered appropriate and other types or levels of dress are considered not appropriate, and usually these are acknowledged & observed for the preservation of societal peace. The same evening gown that is stunning at 10pm looks a little more tawdry at 9 in the morning. What is appropriate to wear to the office is not the same as what is appropriate to wear to the beach. A protester wearing a wedding dress gives off a completely different message than a new bride wearing the same gown. The same goes for age-appropriate clothing - a 9 year old bridesmaid would be unlikely to be wearing the same cleavage enhancing halter dress that the adult bridesmaids might wear.

Some people and some cultures are more modest than others, and people should reveal only as much as they are comfortable revealing. For some, this means a 1 piece bathing suit. For others, it may mean a burka. But someone who is comfortable in their own skin is not disrespecting you by having different values.

mbaldan

If a woman dresses in a way that is sexually revealing, then, do you think it is inappropriate if she gets extra attention (cat calls, etc.)? Or do you think she is, in a way, wanting the attention and dressing to gain that attention?

Biologically speaking, visual displays and audible calls have always been a method of attracting a mate. It's true of many species in the animal kingdom, and despite most humans not wanting to admit that they are animals our animal nature cannot be denied, and can rarely be repressed with any level of success.

In a way, on a subconscious and primal level, we're trying to attract a lover when we make such calls or give such visual displays, but this doesn't mean that we're consciously asking for any increased attention or that we're dressing in such a way intentionally to gain attention. Much of what we do is due to subconscious activity that we have very little control over.

In the modern world there is a loose set of mores that people are expected to live by, e.g., not walking around in public completely nude. That example is pretty widely adhered to, and is generally not an issue unless drugs or alcohol are involved...or lots of money and a dare. Anyway, one of those mores is called "decency" and though the legal definitions vary it's pretty common that anything goes in public except for exposing one's breasts or genitals--and breasts are OK under certain maternal circumstances. So, if one goes out in public wearing just enough to cover the breasts and vulva (like some bikinis), that's fine, and it should be fine.

In regards to the calls, stares and other possibly "inappropriate" behaviour...it's not inappropriate at all. It's natural, and it can't be repressed. We cannot rationally expect to repress millions of years of evolution, and when we try to the consequences are often quite negative. So, when you're out in public and you hear someone whistle or yell something over your way, just keep moving, smile, and realise that your part of a biological system that is more complex than you've ever realised, and what's just occurred is simply natural.

Too wordy? Meh, boredom. lol

I agree that it is not inappropriate, but others would say it is wrong for men to do this... But I do feel, even if it is at an unconscious level, women do it to provoke the attention. I'm not saying it's bad (I do it too) It just is what it is.

MFPAddict

BrettPGH

Anyone who feels that women need to cover themselves up in public I want you to know the good news. There are entire countries in the Middle East who agree and you can certainly move there if you'd like. I've always felt that a woman can dress however she feels comfortable, what business is it of mine?

BeeElMarvin

Hot is hot - no matter how they dress - if a woman is attractive, I notice. Dirty thoughts? Not really, maybe a simple "i'd hit that".

ItsCasey

This is all such a load. We live in a world where appearance is the very first thing upon which we are judged. To walk around with the comforting thought that your clothing choices don't say anything about you is to deny reality. Now, you may not care what your clothing says about you, and that's fine. But don't act like people are weird for forming judgments about what kind of person you are based on your decision to prance around with your *kitten* cheeks hanging out of your shorts and wearing lucite heels. You may not be a $5 hooker, but if you're going to dress like one, you can't fault people for making certain assumptions about you.

Iamfit4life

Anyone who feels that women need to cover themselves up in public I want you to know the good news. There are entire countries in the Middle East who agree and you can certainly move there if you'd like. I've always felt that a woman can dress however she feels comfortable, what business is it of mine?

I heart you

voluptas63

I like invoking bad thoughts in the head(s) of men. God gave me these talents. I will use them to my benefit.

MFPAddict

I like invoking bad thoughts in the head(s) of men. God gave me these talents. I will use them to my benefit.

invoke away

lilRicki

This is all such a load. We live in a world where appearance is the very first thing upon which we are judged. To walk around with the comforting thought that your clothing choices don't say anything about you is to deny reality. Now, you may not care what your clothing says about you, and that's fine. But don't act like people are weird for forming judgments about what kind of person you are based on your decision to prance around with your *kitten* cheeks hanging out of your shorts and wearing lucite heels. You may not be a $5 hooker, but if you're going to dress like one, you can't fault people for making certain assumptions about you.

that's true, human beings form judgements in less than 3 seconds upon initial meetings...THAT is natural as well...I'm with you sista.

JennLifts

I can't claim to have an eye for the ladies, but a hot guy in a t-shirt, baseball cap, and the right pair of jeans will get my imagination going. By contrast, someone I find less attractive isn't going to become any better looking by taking clothes off, really.

So yeah, fully clothed or not, if you're hot, the thoughts are going to happen

Agree!

EmpressOfJudgment

Anyone who feels that women need to cover themselves up in public I want you to know the good news. There are entire countries in the Middle East who agree and you can certainly move there if you'd like. I've always felt that a woman can dress however she feels comfortable, what business is it of mine?

*high five*

timothyjkiser

Happens...not all the time, but Happens.