Ladies: Why so catty?

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  • MisterDubs303
    MisterDubs303 Posts: 1,216 Member
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    It is all kind of silly but society has decreed a mans success is based on his achievements and a ladys based on her looks.
    We are both in a constant state of competition but with a guy it isn`t as much with another individual as it is an overall financial/social status.

    Yep, I agree. I don't think of myself as competitive but that is what even passive ego is. Whether trying to simply keep up, or conquering, it doesn't matter. It's not about another person, it's about me in relation to the world in general.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
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    Now do you really think a catty person (since I don't consider women in general catty, only some miserable, insecure ones) will actually answer this thread? If they know they're that way, they'd probably be embarrassed to answer this question. LOL
  • judkinsjenny
    judkinsjenny Posts: 220
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    yeah i wish i could just punch a girl in the mouth when shes being a hag and then pat her on the back and say "ok now?" lol but noooo once a fight, always a fight. girls are so moody. I hardly have any girlfriends cuz they take offense to everything. im more like a guy and just say whatever. id never make it gay or if i was a guy. im too blunt. but the girlfriends i do have are for a lifetime cuz they are just like me.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    Guys are just as catty as girls! Theyre just more direct about it and then get over it faster.
  • raw_sugar
    raw_sugar Posts: 87
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    Socialization. Girls/Women are heavily socialized to be 'nice', not make waves, not express negative emotions so a lot of it comes out in passive-aggressive behaviour... we talk about each other behind each other's back because confrontation is not 'ladylike', whereas it's encourage in men (although not as much as it used to be). So instead of airing grievances like adults, we trash-talk and gossip and try to cut each other down (I won't even get into how media socializes women to work against rather than with each other)

    But confrontation has it's good side.. what's going to be more effective: calling out a friend/co-worker/relative on irritating behaviour or quietly venting to someone else?

    Armchair sociologist here.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    You know what totally messes up cattiness? Confronting the offenders face-to-face. Sometimes it turns cattiness into passive-aggression and gaslighting, but I'm prepared for that too.

    Want to not pass it on to your daughter?

    - value her for more than her looks. If she's smart tell her how she's smart ("you really understand how to convert fractions to decimals" not "Good job! You're so smart!") If she's good at something, break it down and let her know how she's good at it, not just that she's good at it.

    - Set a good example.

    - Honestly? Many of the TV shows and movies that are so popular model this behavior. Watch things that have positive influences instead. They don't need to be on the cutting edge of cool.
  • Izable2011
    Izable2011 Posts: 755 Member
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    I wish people would put aside their insecurites for just a day & spend it appreciating others. The real challenge would be to appreciate someone you really don't get along with and find their qualities. I need to practice this more often. :wink:
  • elysecea
    elysecea Posts: 161 Member
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    I am blessed to have a nice handful of wonderful women friends. We can all be "catty" in our own way. I can say that my friends are always supportive and we always have each others backs. We tend to lack filters between our mouths and our brains ( that is why we are so close lol) I pity the poor woman that would start the insecure catty BS with us!!! I dont even waste my time on that crap. Rise above...thats what us adults are supposed to do. I have been known not to give the benefit of the doubt before and have my first impression of them be wrong. Sometimes you just have to give people a chance. They might end up being a really good person underneath that hard shell of cattiness!
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
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    To feel better about themselves. As others have said, low self esteem.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
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    I completely agree with self image. You could ask a drop-dead gorgeous woman about her looks and she will tell you she has always been cursed with fat knuckles which caused her endless heartache at the Jr High dance and scared her for life.

    On the other hand. a guy can have powdered sugar caked around his mouth, 6 hairs combed over looking like a daddy long legs guarding an egg and pit stains and he would tell you he's borderline (insert current popular male) Johnny Depp, George Clooney, that sparkly vampire.

    Also, understand males will always encourage female fighting in hopes that it will escalate into hair pulling, tearing of clothes and then falling into the conveniently placed pool of water/mud/jello.
  • blackgirlfit
    blackgirlfit Posts: 120 Member
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    Wow I'm dealing with this right now.ever since I lost weight my friends have been giving me back hand compliments. They didn't say anything when I was almost 200 pouds but once I dropped down to 152 the nails came out smh
  • SuperScrabbleGirl
    SuperScrabbleGirl Posts: 310 Member
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    "Hey Generalisation, why so generalisation?"
  • livnlite
    livnlite Posts: 520
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    Case in point ... "Real Wives of New Jersey" .. . or any of the "Real Wives" shows Takes being 'catty' to a whole new level.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    i dont have amazing self-esteem, but I dont look down on women because they are prettier or uglier than me o_o

    I think it has to do with persona as well as outlook, not so much self-esteem.
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
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    i worked in a workshop of over 60 men before and ive never met such a bunch of b*tches in my life.

    the idea that its a female thing is a myth.
    some women do it, some men do it

    lots of people dont
  • martini83
    martini83 Posts: 113 Member
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    I think it has to do with jealousy and low self esteem. When you're ok with yourself and your world, you just don't care as much about what others look like/do/say.
    Totally agree, i have found when chicks are *****ing, they will always go on and on about the way they look and what that have, a clear sign of jealousy, sad really, i have low self esteem from a crap childhood, but i also dont live my life worrying about how others look, act or what they have. if someone goes out of their way to be a cow to me i can be one back but aside from that i dont care for the petty insecure crap, so much more in life to appreciate and enjoy.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,616 Member
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    So many ridiculous stereotypes at play, so little time....

    Seriously, people, wtf?
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    meow
  • leilani♥
    leilani♥ Posts: 579
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    Jealousy & Competition!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    it's evolution baby....women are protecting their nests, and other women are the enemy

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