Stupid questions you hear in customer service.

Options
JDNOX
JDNOX Posts: 619
in Chit-Chat
I love the prison stupid questions so i had to start one for the customer service people out there. I worked at the help desk for a couple years and now am their level 2 support and the stupid questions keep coming. For example:

Cust: I can't get the computer to power on
Rep(me): Ma'am do you see any lights on the machine
Cust: I can't hear you . you are breaking up
Rep: Are you on a cell phone?
Cust: Yes
Rep: Can i call you on your home phone so you can hear me better?
Cust: No it is cordless and the power is out.
Rep: The power is out and you can't get your computer to turn on
Cust: Yeah why ..... (customer hung up)

Share some of yours
«134

Replies

  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    Options
    i.worked a few cust jobs so i heard several my fav goes about like this:

    cust: why did you people cut off my service, i need my service etc etc
    me: sir/mam we show that you havent paid your bill in over three months
    cust: oh
  • rocki21
    rocki21 Posts: 108 Member
    Options
    OOO i have one lol I am a front desk manager at a hotel and here is one i hear constantly

    Cust: Do you have any rooms available
    Me: No we are all sold out
    Cust: what if im a priority club member
    Me: No we are all full
    Cust: Are you sure
    Me: Yes (and then i stare at them till they leave) lol

    seriously i could sell them a cot to sleep on out side in the cold but i dont think they would understand my humor if i said that


    lol i think yours is hilarious though
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
    Options
    Fastfood, but still...Anyway here's an interaction I had with a douche:
    I'm in the drive thru taking orders and money at the same time-This guy comes up in a nice car, nice clothes-obviously had a lot of money-oddly enough I wasn't too impressed by this-
    Me: "Your total is $5.26, sir."
    Customer: (Handing me $20.25)"Here"
    Me: "Do you have a penny?"
    Customer: "No, I don't carry change, it takes up too much room."
    Me: "That's ashame because you're about to."
    Customer: "No, you can just give me $15.00 back."
    Me: "I can also give you $14.99 since that's what I owe you."
    Customer: "Well I don't like change so just give me $15.00.
    Me: "Sir, this isn't unicef-if you need a handout the food back is down the road."
    ...somehow he found the penny.

    I wasn't always this big of a douche, but if you're going to roll up, decked in bling and act all high and mighty to the college student who works nights, and weekends just to pay tuition, well, it isn't impressive.
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,761 Member
    Options
    This isn't a question I heard in customer service, but when working as a network engineer at Convergys Corporation:

    I open up our ticket system, and a users PC wasn't turning on.
    I go up to the 5th floor and ask what's up?
    I'm told "I don't know what's going on, PC just won't turn on...see?"

    SHE PROCEEDS TO TURN THE MONITOR OFF AND ON!!!

    I reach down and press the power button on the computer.

    She was very embarrassed LOL
  • JDNOX
    JDNOX Posts: 619
    Options
    This isn't a question I heard in customer service, but when working as a network engineer at Convergys Corporation:

    I open up our ticket system, and a users PC wasn't turning on.
    I go up to the 5th floor and ask what's up?
    I'm told "I don't know what's going on, PC just won't turn on...see?"

    SHE PROCEEDS TO TURN THE MONITOR OFF AND ON!!!

    I reach down and press the power button on the computer.

    She was very embarrassed LOL

    LOL love that Sadly because i had a ticket open on for the person that hung up on me i knew who it was, sadly she was a manager in the tech center.
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,761 Member
    Options
    That's awesome...the amount of idiots that are allowed to use computers astound me.
  • paperlily
    paperlily Posts: 17 Member
    Options
    "Do you sell bread?"

    I occasionally work in a bread bakery in between being a student. I also like: "Just some bread please" and "How much is it for bread?" given that we have around 30 varieties!
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
    Options
    "Hi I'm looking for a book I saw the other day."
    "Ok what's the title and or author?"
    "Oh I don't know"
    "Where did you see it?"
    "Oh it was an older book at a friend's house, I think it was blue."
    "what was the topic?"
    "Oh I'm not sure, it may have been fiction, or non-fiction."


    "Hi, I'm looking for a book with cutting edge research on lowering cholesterol-it's really important for my husband's health. What do you suggest?"
    "I suggest you talk to a doctor/nutritionist."
    "Doctors don't know anything, I was wondering what you thought."
    "Well, as a bookstore employee I am very qualified to be giving medical advice..."
  • JDNOX
    JDNOX Posts: 619
    Options
    Emily_J_J LOL that is funny

    I just had this

    Cust: I have a file that is missing can you restore it for me
    ME: okay where is the location of the file
    Cust: I don't know
    Me: then how do you know it is missing?
    Cust:Because it is not there
    Me: It is not where, if you tell me where it was i can find it and restore it from yesterday
    Cust: I don't know where it was
    Me: Then again how do you know it is gone?
    Cust: Never mind i found it
    Me: Where did you find it?
    Cust: In the file
    Me: Have a good day sir
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
    Options
    Emily_J_J LOL that is funny

    I just had this

    Cust: I have a file that is missing can you restore it for me
    ME: okay where is the location of the file
    Cust: I don't know
    Me: then how do you know it is missing?
    Cust:Because it is not there
    Me: It is not where, if you tell me where it was i can find it and restore it from yesterday
    Cust: I don't know where it was
    Me: Then again how do you know it is gone?
    Cust: Never mind i found it
    Me: Where did you find it?
    Cust: In the file
    Me: Have a good day sir

    "The files are IN the computer???"
  • kunibob
    kunibob Posts: 608 Member
    Options
    Worked in the tourism industry for a number of years and got some real gems. I sadly can't remember them all (we used to record them on a board in the staff room :laugh:, but here are a couple of standouts:

    Tourist: Are these prices in dollars?
    Me: Yes, they are in Canadian dollars.
    Tourist: What is the price in dollars?
    Me: *guesses based on accent* In US currency?
    Tourist: No. In dollars.
    Me: Uh...in US dollars?
    Tourist: *growing agitated* NO. IN DOLLARS.
    Me: Are you from the USA?
    Tourist: Yes.
    Me: Okay. Then I'll tell you the price in the dollars that you use in the US.
    Tourist: THANK you.
    :noway:


    Tourist: *pointing to carved totem poles* How do you get your trees to grow that way?
    I thought it was a joke, but she was really disappointed when I explained that they were carved. :frown:


    Tourist: Are these prices in Yen? (Wasn't aware that Japan and Canada had merged...)


    Tourist: Can we make it to Prince Edward Island and back before dinner this evening? (That's about a 6000 km / 3750 mi drive...)
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
    Options
    While manning an expo stand with services for Deaf people:

    Visitor: "What do you do?
    Me: "We have special telephones for Deaf people"
    Visitor: "What did you say, I can't hear you".

    The tricky thing about this is that most people think it is an incredibly original and amusing joke.
    It's not.
    But I laugh anyway.

    Occasionally though, you get someone who is actually hearing impaired and genuinely can't hear me.
    Not good to laugh at/with those people!
  • hstallings13
    hstallings13 Posts: 306
    Options
    :grumble: I work for a TV shopping network and take calls all night long and I get tons of them that make me want to bang my head on the desk but my favorite tends to be

    may I have your item number

    I don't have it

    Okay, what is the item you want to order.

    Well it's a ring I saw a couple of hours ago or maybe last night

    Okay what does it look like

    It's gold with pretty stones

    Okay do you know how much it was

    ummm somewhere around 100-200$

    do you know what color the stone was

    ummmm no I sure can't remember.

    Okay ma'am I'm sorry but I really am going to need some more information if you want me to be able to find this ring for you.

    <getting angry and rude> Well I dont' know why you can't find it....you just don't want to sell it to me....click



    This is most common when we run a 24 hour jewerly event...I mean geez how awful am I. I can't find the pretty gold ring with a stone she saw at somepoint when we carry thousands of rings and most have them have been on air today.
  • hstallings13
    hstallings13 Posts: 306
    Options
    okay second one

    Why can't I place an order

    Well you have 500$ in past due payments

    But I'm going to use a different credit card to order this item

    Well I"m sorry but until this past due amount is cleared up I can't place an order for you, but I can use that card to take care of these past due ones for you.

    No, nevermind....click

    Really?
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,761 Member
    Options
    300303_183845278356189_126894987384552_403138_1683723537_n.jpg
  • SkateboardFi
    SkateboardFi Posts: 1,322 Member
    Options
    *hotel guest calls from their room phohne*

    guest: 'excuse me, but do you have a hair dryer in these rooms'
    me: 'are you on the cordless phone?'
    guest: 'yes'
    me: 'are you standing at the door of your bathroom'
    guest: 'yes'
    me: 'look up'


    i mean...LOOK around the damn room first, especially when you're CALLING ME FROM IT...ugh!
  • stanilacatalin3
    stanilacatalin3 Posts: 1
    Options
    while working in an international phone service company, i got this one, a guy who never could connect to lebanon, and it was also strange from our side, because we couldn't find out where the issue was


    Cust: do you think your phone lines are affected by sorcery? My uncle is a poweful wizard, and the US government does not want to let me speak with him
    me: i'm not sure about that
    cust: you should check with your supervisor( and he was not joking)
    me: after hold: i just checked, and it seems we do have firewall on that
    cust: oh, that's good, then fix the problem!
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    Options
    I'm in quality control, so I listen to all of you guys to make sure you handle these customers properly! :laugh:

    Funniest one I heard consisted of a customer calling into a tech support company yelling "MY GOOGLE IS BROKEN!" and then proceeded to ask if he should put it in the freezer to cool it down. The tech kind of ignored him, so the customer did it anyway which turned out to not be the best idea.

    He then broke down about his wife leaving him and discussed his need to "look at boobies" but his google wouldn't let him. He wasn't able to take it into his local computer repair store because he was banned, and that was a whole other story.

    It could've been a prank, but I've heard many pranks and this guy really did sound upset about it all.
  • rockangel8907
    rockangel8907 Posts: 429 Member
    Options
    Working in a martini bar:
    Customer told a server to tell the bartender that HE made the best dirty martini he'd ever had. The server told the guy that the bartender is actually a woman (me), customer argues that no woman could make a drink that good...even came up to the bar to check for himself. At the time I was muddling fruit for an old fashioned, which I am know for making the best old fashioneds in the city, even was given a $50 tip by a guy from NYC because it was the best he has had.
  • llama_sammich
    llama_sammich Posts: 124
    Options
    When I was a lifeguard at an outdoor waterpark, I was constantly asked things like:

    "Am I gonna die on this?"
    "Am I gonna fall off the edge?"
    "Has anyone died on this before?"
    "If I touch the top of the other side of this slide, do I get a free cheeseburger?" (yes...like...daily, not even kidding you)
    "If I pretend to drown, will you save me?" (from creepy old men, all the damn time)

    On this one slide, I'd tell people in single tubes to cross their legs "Indian style" cause it was "safer"....so I could spin them really really fast when I sent em down. I did this if someone was particularly annoying. Usually teenage girls. >:D

Categories