A serious and frightening subject

SueGremlin

Do people actually post fake things like this here? I am not up on the MFP forum culture.

Gigi_licious

Do people actually post fake things like this here? I am not up on the MFP forum culture.

Sometimes people do. They like to see if they can get a reaction. Of course, there's no way of knowing for sure if that's the case here or not. I surely hope not because that's just sick. But at the same time I kind of hope it is because that's a very scary situation that nobody should ever have to encounter.

koosdel

Do people actually post fake things like this here? I am not up on the MFP forum culture.

MFP has regular trolls my friend.

Would YOU make one of your first posts in this manner?

Private profile... no pic..'shocking' topic? I call BS.

kennethmgreen

My bestfriend is being stalked by a dangerous guy
...

Great advice here already.

I have a somewhat different concern that I haven't really seen explored. Are you sure your friend really wants this to stop? Often people in similar situations might not admit it (even to themselves), but they are getting something out of these kind of interactions.

I ask because you didn't say whether she has already contacted the police or reached out to anyone really. I know you said she is scared. You sound like a concerned friend trying to get support from others to convince your friend this guy is bad news. Is your friend convinced this guy is bad news? Know that you can be scared and thrilled at the same time - think haunted houses, roller coasters, etc. I'm not trying to paint your friend crazy, just pointing out that you may have a different battle on your hands than just a stalker.

kennethmgreen

Do people actually post fake things like this here? I am not up on the MFP forum culture.

MFP has regular trolls my friend.

Would YOU make one of your first posts in this manner?

Private profile... no pic..'shocking' topic? I call BS.

Ah! Good catch, koos. I'm with you.

countinonme

Go to the police! Right now!

jetscreaminagain

This. By which I meant the gift of fear. And then do her the favor of supporting her following her instincts.

Definitely don't contact. Definitely order for protection. Definitely move if possible or stay with several different friends when she's freaked out.

Consider a dog.

Consider a gun but realize it puts her at greater risk and she has to be willing to shoot to kill if necessary. When I was stalked I went to a shooting range and couldn't shoot without crying. I chose against the gun and in favor of a lawyer and always having a phone with cops on speed dial. He's awake while watching her sleep. She is at. A disadvantage in waking up getting her wits about her assessing the threat getting and aiming the gun. And if its really near her he knows it before she's awake.

Don't count on an alarm system. One of the companies just paid out to the family of a Minnesota woman killed in her bed with her kids sleeping down the hall within 2 weeks of it being installed. He cut the phone line so there was no alerting the authorities. News reports indicated that the first the alarm sounded was when the kids ran terrified out the front door. Mom and her fiance (not the stalker) were already dead.

This is serious stuff. Not time to be nice let hom down easy, nor doubt your instincts. You are right to be scare

ladylu11

I've had a stalker before, I had no problems contacting the police immediately and they took me seriously. These people do not think right. He even told my co-workers he was my husband.

livnlite

There is ONLY one course of action for this problem .. and it has to be done immediately!

REPORT HIM .. to her parents .. Her parents have to know ALL the details of what has been happening .. especially about the drawings .. They need to report this to police. There are stalking laws in place in every country, due to the potentially lethal nature of this crime. There are steps they can take to help protect her in her own home and when she is out in public. Closing her curtains at night would be the 1st course of action.

THIS is not a crush .. THIS is not love .. Do not under estimate the seriousness of this issue or capability of someone so obviously disturbed. No one .. and I repeat NO ONE .. draws horrific images like that .. and then gives those images to subject of the drawing because they LOVE them .. It's quite the opposite.

If you don't understand how serious this is .. then do some research and start by looking up physiological disorders like
Schizophrenia or Bipolar disorders .. The disorders are not something to mess around with. You can't deal with this on your own and neither can your friend ... GET HELP!

ladylu11

I'm a little puzzled by the part where you say he may be watching her sleep through a window. I can promise you, no one can see me sleep through my windows, not even by accident. Doesn't make sense????

livnlite

My bestfriend is being stalked by a dangerous guy
...

Great advice here already.

I have a somewhat different concern that I haven't really seen explored. Are you sure your friend really wants this to stop? Often people in similar situations might not admit it (even to themselves), but they are getting something out of these kind of interactions.

I ask because you didn't say whether she has already contacted the police or reached out to anyone really. I know you said she is scared. You sound like a concerned friend trying to get support from others to convince your friend this guy is bad news. Is your friend convinced this guy is bad news? Know that you can be scared and thrilled at the same time - think haunted houses, roller coasters, etc. I'm not trying to paint your friend crazy, just pointing out that you may have a different battle on your hands than just a stalker.

I have a feeling our OP and her friend are young .. VERY young. We are dealing with two people here who don't necessarily think as rationally as an adult. The physiology of a child is often to hide from a potential threat. That's why you will find a child in closet inside a burning house. They really don't know WHAT the heck to do. I could be wrong but, I highly doubt if there is some sort of twisted pleasure she is getting out this 'attention' .. That in itself is not even logical.

Also, getting a gun or any kind of weapon for protection is obviously not going to happen for someone this young.

OP .. I'm hoping you take the advise of everyone here .. and get help!! NOW!

LilynEdensmom

Call the police, get a restraining order, if it just to get something on paper, then she needs to get a tazer or some type of weapon, b/c imo a restraining order is just a piece of paper if the guy is crazy enough it won't stop him. She needs to continue to ignore him. If she can maybe consider moving.

boomboom011

9mm in a drawer next to the bed (with hollow points)

If this guy is possibly dangerous and has access to weapons then waiting for the police to arrive or getting a restraining order will do nothing. You must be able to defend yourself. If she doesn't own a gun, now is a good time to get one. (Also, yes, get the restraining order too but it's not going to prevent this guy from becoming violent)

this but i was going to suggest a springfield xd .40 subcompact. the size of a dollar bill.

im still trying to understand why this hasnt been reported already.

boomboom011

Tell her to buy a gun. Simple
I live in Texas and we live by the 2nd amendment.

A gun can easily be used against you.

then have more than 1!

southernlay_d

Geez, that is scary! Why are some people so bat *kitten* crazy??? :grumble:

TourThePast

step 1 - restraining order.

Step one is making it unequivocally clear to him that his attentions are absolutely not welcome, preferably in front of several witnesses.
Step two is a restraining order.

melanie_J

Get a restraining order. A piece of paper won't do much, but if something does happen he can be arrested for it.
Carry some kind of weapon whether it be a switchblade or mace.
And if it still doesn't work MOVE!

TourThePast

MFP has regular trolls my friend.

Nevertheless, someone else might find the advice useful; as the title says, this is a serious and frightening subject.

It's not as if the thread can go anywhere.

Meli_fitness

If this is fake and you are trolling, you're one sick fuk. But the good news is they have special hospitals with pretty white rooms and snuggly jackets for people like you.

wow thank you for assuming things... if I was gonna troll I'd troll about something funny, not stuff like this, this is not even funny at all, Im not even upsetting ppl for you to say I am trollin... either way thank you all for the advice, she is being stupid and dumb and immature she is talking about being friends again and then her becoming boring so that soon she can drop him again and he wont care as much, I'm trying to find him a girlfriend maybe that would help, if it was me I would have her scary stepdad patrol at night with his shotgun, I'd get a restraining order and buy a gun. I dont play games.

TourThePast

I'm trying to find him a girlfriend maybe that would help

If you think that your "finding him" a girlfriend would help, why not go out with him yourself?

I'm sure that would help things ever such a lot...

staps065

Do people actually post fake things like this here? I am not up on the MFP forum culture.

MFP has regular trolls my friend.

Would YOU make one of your first posts in this manner?

Private profile... no pic..'shocking' topic? I call BS.

Ah! Good catch, koos. I'm with you.

I agree very Troll-ish!

livnlite

If this is fake and you are trolling, you're one sick fuk. But the good news is they have special hospitals with pretty white rooms and snuggly jackets for people like you.

wow thank you for assuming things... if I was gonna troll I'd troll about something funny, not stuff like this, this is not even funny at all, Im not even upsetting ppl for you to say I am trollin... either way thank you all for the advice, she is being stupid and dumb and immature she is talking about being friends again and then her becoming boring so that soon she can drop him again and he wont care as much, I'm trying to find him a girlfriend maybe that would help, if it was me I would have her scary stepdad patrol at night with his shotgun, I'd get a restraining order and buy a gun. I dont play games.

PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE KIDDING! You are 'trying to find him a girlfriend"??? .. and you call your friend 'stupid, dumb and immature"???? What part about this do you not understand. He is STALKING her and is showing disturbing behavior about wanting to see her dead.

I really am curious .. If you realize there is something disturbingly emotionally wrong with this guy .. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU WANT TO SET HIM WITH SOMEONE .. Only to have them experience the same psychotic behaviour. Do you comprehend ANY of what is happening?

You are naive if you think this is just bad behavior and is acting like a jerk .. It's MUCH MUCH more than that. It may develope into something you can not undo.

Stay away from this guy .. Do NOT I repeat DO NOT try to involve him in your life or anyone else's life until he gets some serious help. You are much too young and ill-equipped to handle this. THIS is not fantasy land where there is always a happy ending.

If MY daughter was involved with someone like this .. I would be ontop of the situation immediately! GET HER PARENTS INVOLVED .. They need to know what is going on, in order to be able to deal with this!

LAWIII

She needs to go to the police immediately.

Get a dog big or small. Not to attack him, but to alert her. Depending on the state, concealed carry permit. In a situation where he wants to kill her, nothing will stop him except her! The Police are a reactive force. Meaning if he intends to kill her, most likely they will be able to say they got the guy who killed her not prevent it from happening (no disrespect intended to police). Also if she chooses to get a self defense item, know how to use it and be prepared to use it. Think about what will happen if she uses it so she's not surprised.

FYI; Going to the police is the first thing she should do, so that when she is in court for killing this young man she has it documented that not only was he after her, but she was "in fear for her life".

Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but I have seen the results up close and personal.

Beastette

No gun for her. She is still trying to reason with this kid. She will be the type to point and talk. If you own a gun, the other person should be sporting a hole before they even realize you drew.

The police aren't going to take this seriously if she doesn't.

Bear mace. Make sure she doesn't point it back at herself in the process. Not being sarcastic, easy to do if she is lying prone. If he happens to have his dangly bits handy, spray those for good measure.

If she sees him, he gets it. No talking, no "please just leave me alone". She has to commit to busting him up ON SIGHT. People like him choose victims very carefully. She can try getting "more boring", or she can try not fitting the profile so well. Then he can post "I have been stalking a very scary girl, and I need (medical) help.

livnlite

double post .. I don't know why this keeps happening ..

livnlite

She needs to go to the police immediately.

Get a dog big or small. Not to attack him, but to alert her. Depending on the state, concealed carry permit. In a situation where he wants to kill her, nothing will stop him except her! The Police are a reactive force. Meaning if he intends to kill her, most likely they will be able to say they got the guy who killed her not prevent it from happening (no disrespect intended to police). Also if she chooses to get a self defense item, know how to use it and be prepared to use it. Think about what will happen if she uses it so she's not surprised.

FYI; Going to the police is the first thing she should do, so that when she is in court for killing this young man she has it documented that not only was he after her, but she was "in fear for her life".

Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but I have seen the results up close and personal.

I don't think the girls in question here are adults..They are just kids. The young girl in question, is probably not old enough to get a gun permit, or even to buy a gun. She is probably not trained in self defence or emotionally or mentally prepared to stab someone either.

Speaking to the forum in general: If you are going advise someone to carry a weapon you should take into consideration their ability to actually control panic and use it in defence to take someone's life. Weapons are designed to kill .. not just distract, so your daddy can come and rescue you. As an adult .. sure, you could probably do it, in a heartbeat .. but a child .. completely different story. When, dealing with a child you have to think in terms of a child.

This is not the movies, people. This is real life!

How would you advise a poster if it was your daughter involved.

TavistockToad

I have no idea if I should even be posting about this on this website (it has nothing to do with weightloss), I am very sorry in advance if the subject is inapropiate or does not go along with what this website is about, but I though since I get such incredible advice and inspiration to meet my goals if maybe someone out there who is knowledge-able could help with this frighting situation.

here it goes:

My bestfriend is being stalked by a dangerous guy, every day he leaves her cds and notes on her car, he even left a GIANT sign on the front of her house saying he missed her, he leaves this overnight wich means he walks around her house at night... he is not just any stalker, they use to be bestfriends, things got wierd and he started controlling her and drawing pictures of her laying in puddles of blood... she has a very particular and wierd way of sleeping bc I have seen her sleep, these drawings show her sleeping this way, they were best friends but he NEVER saw her sleep, so she believes he watches her from outside her window... he has contacted even her parents to talk to her... thing is this is just scary what would you do in a situation like this? he both know he can be aggressive and I love her to death I dont want him to hurt her, he has access to guns should she talk to him and slowly let him down or should she continue not talking to him and ignoring him, the longer she goes without talking to him the crazier he gets... (btw everyone who gets to meet him is always telling her that there is something off about him and that she needs to stay away, not long ago he was hidding in the dark and waited for her to get out of the car to confront her of her whereabouts) thank you for listening and again sorry if the subject is too random...

she needs to tell the police and write down everything he does, and keep every note or whatever that he leaves as evidence.

and yes, keep ignoring him.

ivyjbres

Both my sister and a friend have had to deal with stalkers, albeit at a considerably older age.

So because we're dealing with a minor living with family, we need to know dome details-

Apartment or house? Rented or owned? Obviously if her parents own the house, there's no possibility to leave, but there is a possibility to instal more security measures that have been talked about already. If they live in an apartment, according to one of the fair housing acts, criminal activity or harassment directed at the family or a family member is grounds for the family to move without having to pay any penalties to break the lease.

Report everything to the police. Everything. Before you even get a restraining order, call them, you want everything documented. They'll probably even talk to him as well. Hopefully, since we're still dealing with a young stalker, maybe that heat alone will be enough to get him to stop. If not, Restraining order.

Then, if she and her family can move, that would be step 3. That goes along with increasing security, re-keying all the locks, making sure the windows lock from the inside, changing their mailing address to a PO box, and changing all of their phone numbers. In case he gets a hold of a number somehow, it would be wise if she started going by her middle name or another nickname he wouldn't know or use. That way when anyone picks up the phone and a stranger on the other end asks for her without using her middle name, you know they're out of the loop and you hang up immediately.

Is she old enough to drive, or are we talking younger. Does she ride the bus? Can she take a different route or catch a ride home with someone she trusts?

Have her change her routine. If he's watching, try and be as random as possible to keep him off his game. You can request that the police do courtesy drive-throughs of the neighborhood. Especially since you suspect he's creeping around at night. Ask the neighbors to report anything they see to the police.

jenny95662

I am an attorney and would advise her to get a restraining order. Next time he shows up, call the cops and have him arrested. ALSO, you can get fairly inexpensive security cameras sets from Costco, etc. with DVRs. She should get these and install them around her house for evidence.
I would not hurt to hire a tough off duty cop to talk to him as well.

IF he threatens her in any way, she should disappear for a while. Restraining orders do not help when the stalker has violent intentions.

get a watch dog also could be helpful the barking really scares some [people. i agree with this poster it needs to be taking seriously!

Beastette

She needs to go to the police immediately.

Get a dog big or small. Not to attack him, but to alert her. Depending on the state, concealed carry permit. In a situation where he wants to kill her, nothing will stop him except her! The Police are a reactive force. Meaning if he intends to kill her, most likely they will be able to say they got the guy who killed her not prevent it from happening (no disrespect intended to police). Also if she chooses to get a self defense item, know how to use it and be prepared to use it. Think about what will happen if she uses it so she's not surprised.

FYI; Going to the police is the first thing she should do, so that when she is in court for killing this young man she has it documented that not only was he after her, but she was "in fear for her life".

Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but I have seen the results up close and personal.

I don't think the girls in question here are adults..They are just kids. The young girl in question, is probably not old enough to get a gun permit, or even to buy a gun. She is probably not trained in self defence or emotionally or mentally prepared to stab someone either.

Speaking to the forum in general: If you are going advise someone to carry a weapon you should take into consideration their ability to actually control panic and use it in defence to take someone's life. Weapons are designed to kill .. not just distract, so your daddy can come and rescue you. As an adult .. sure, you could probably do it, in a heartbeat .. but a child .. completely different story. When, dealing with a child you have to think in terms of a child.

This is not the movies, people. This is real life!

How would you advise a poster if it was your daughter involved.