A serious and frightening subject

Beastette

Whoops. I was gonna say that this is exactly what I am explaining. Not everyone should have a gun, and it will make the situation worse if she hesitates. Which she will.

If the stalkee were my daughter, I would definitely give her the same advice I already did. Except I wouldn't need to, because that dude would not still be around were that my daughter.

If the O.P. were my daughter, I would tell her to relay the same info. Then, I would advise MY daughter to choose her friends a little more carefully because a bullet doesn't have a name on it. I know tweens with enough sense to realize that this isn't funny and report it. Also, the "try to be more boring" thing sounds as if she enjoys the attention a little. We have little patience for foolishness.

SueGremlin

Do people actually post fake things like this here? I am not up on the MFP forum culture.

MFP has regular trolls my friend.

Would YOU make one of your first posts in this manner?

Private profile... no pic..'shocking' topic? I call BS.

It's better to give the benefit of the doubt. What if you are wrong?

swordsmith

Go to the police NOW.

Tell her to keep alert- I dont know where she lives but if it is a state that believes you have the right to self-defense consider a firearm or start the permit process to carry one.

mea9

I am an attorney and would advise her to get a restraining order. Next time he shows up, call the cops and have him arrested. ALSO, you can get fairly inexpensive security cameras sets from Costco, etc. with DVRs. She should get these and install them around her house for evidence.
I would not hurt to hire a tough off duty cop to talk to him as well.

IF he threatens her in any way, she should disappear for a while. Restraining orders do not help when the stalker has violent intentions.

This

She shouldn't talk to him at all because he will interpret what she says however he wants and it still reinforces the perceived conection. The police can be really hard to deal with so she needs to make sure she gets a file number from them (even if they don't want to provide one - saves them paperwork) because that's what she will have later. She should also be keeping a diary with every bit of information (dates, times, witness names and phone numbers...). Good Luck

KickinBooty

If this is fake at least it is a good chance for people to talk about this, and if this is real get help please now.

First, basic security-make sure everything is locked windows and doors now! If there is a garage make sure it is empty and engage all locks. It is easier to break into a garage and can be done from a side window if there is one and then entry to the house is easy if the door connecting to the house is not locked.

Second, contact police and file a report. This can be done immediately by calling the non-emergency number of the police department or calling 911 and saying that there isn't an immediate emergency. They can look at doing extra patrols if possible. Also, if possible inform parents/guardians as quickly as possible. They need to know what is going on, and there needs to be a record. Continue until necessary legal safeguards are in place. Note-this does not guarantee protection, but establishing a record is VITAL!

Third, if you can get a dog and an alarm. Early warning is good for whatever methods of self-protection you decide to use. Map out escape routes from each room and a secure meeting in a public place and a neighbors and or friends house to go to in the event of the emergency. Talk with whoever this person/people are and ask if it is okay for them to be your emergency contact.

Fourth, do not walk to your car by yourself! Park you car in the garage if possible and get in and lock after you have checked it out insdie before getting in. Then open the garage door and back out of the driveway. Make sure the garage door closes securely before you leave.

Fifth, walk in large groups of people. Change up your routine and vary the routes you drive.

Sixth, carry safety gear in your car-flares, blankets, jumper cables, etc. and make sure your trunk has a way to get out if you are locked in there.

Seven, attend self-defense classes and get into the mode that you may have to defend yourself and you have to decide what you are willing to do to do this. If this means a taser, a gun with a concealed weapons permit, pepper-bee-bear spray, etc.

Eight, if your car does not start- do not get out of the car! Call the police and explain that you are being stalked and now your car won't start. Request an officer to be there before you unlock and open your door and get AAA so the chance of being stranded alone has as little chance of happening as possible.

Nine, set up a "safe room" in your house such as a bathroom that has an extra spare cellphone that you always keep charged-the pay by the minute ones are great for this. You need to be able to quickly baricade yourself in and out if need be. Keep a fire extinguisher, a change of clothes and shoes, the extra phone with charger, a weapon of some kind if you feel comfortable-even a baseball bat can be helpful, food, water, and any medication you or your family members may need in the event of an emergency.

Ten, if you have pets know that they may save your life, but it could cost them theirs. Learn to think this way now. If your dog is barking at a stranger and is a distraction for you to get out of the house you need to use it. I love and adore my dogs and would risk my life for them, but if this man is as crazy as he sounds he will not give you a second chance to escape and he may not hurt your animals. He will, however, hurt you.

Eleven, think pro-actively. Don't park in poorly lit places or walk alone. Have secret places with extra cash-like $20. You never know if you might need it. Don't answer the door without checking to see who is there and never open the door to a stranger. Change your phone number and be discrimante about who you give out to. Be prepared to use your purse or keys as a weapon. Evaluate your actions before you get out of the locked car. Always check the backseat before you get in. Get a security camera you can check on the internet so you can make sure there is no one parked outside your house before you leave and before you come home. Also, this can be evidence so if something happens it is important to store and provide a copy to the police-keep one for yourself and carry a packet with you explaining the restraining order and copies of evidence of stalking.

Twelve-move if need be and get a PO box, but realize that everytime you pick up the mail he could be watching.

Thirteen-encourage all of your friends to have no contact with this man. If he is watching you, or your friend, sleep then it is time for action.

Fourteen-If and when he shows up do not answer the door, do not talk through the door, do not engage in conversation, if he shows up somewhere you are leave. Yes, it will suck; but your friends should support this and most likely leave with you. If he does show up it is time to barricade yourself in your safe place and call the police using your fully charged backup cellphone. This means that even if he decides to break in you are in a place that may buy you the time to get out of this situation physically unhurt and alive.

Fifteen-if this doesn't work and the guy continues to stalk you consider entering a domestic violence protection program. New social security number and possibly a name change. The hard part about this is cutting all other ties, but if this is your life...