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  • jedi9393
    jedi9393 Posts: 121
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    that's an adult unsecurity not a child's. Kids are way less sensitive than crazy parents.

    :laugh: :bigsmile: thank you!
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    Just read the first post, haven't gone through the whole thread yet. I wouldn't even look at it as a trying to make other parents shop for your child's particular allergy but a safety thing. Not sure of the age of your daughter, but what happens if you bring personal snacks for your child, and some other kid shares their unsafe food with her?

    If it were my child, I would personally provide my own snacks AND tell other parents about the allergy.

    My $0.02
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    As far as the kid "feeling singled out", I think people are over-sensitive about that topic. The child isn't being bullied or teased because of anything personal and aren't they better off learning now that they are different than the other kids when it comes to what they can eat? My mom taught pre-school for years and the last 20 years or so, she always had one or two kids with (sometimes severe) food allergies, and the parents were expected to bring their own child's 'safe foods" for snacks, just to cover the school for liability!

    Exactly! Kids(esp young ones) don't notice if they are not eating the same as someone else. They need to learn early one what they can and can not have, so that they don't have a reaction and then the nurse or whoever needs to come running with an Epi-pen.

    My high school students generally know in advance if food is being brought in, and then they go home and talk to mom/dad and say Hey, we're having this on friday.. is there a substitute that I can have and then the parents send it along with the kid.. and it's not a big deal.

    I'd much rather have my child safe then worry about them getting picked on. If kids are going to pick on another kid because they can't eat something that may be deadly to them, then they have a lot bigger issues that need to be addressed..
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I agree with both sides, but more your side, except for maybe a different reason. There are "hidden" ingredients in a lot of foods, not to mention that in a warehouse where food is processed, there can be "dust" from nuts or whatever. A parent who deals with this daily is better informed about what the child can have and it's safer for that parent to just send a snack.

    I have a friend who's very allergic to peanuts and is very careful, but still every once in a while ends up in the hospital because there's a trace amount of peanut in something unexpected. I wouldn't take chances with my child's life.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    Am I the only person surprised that people are even still allowed to bring in snacks that are home baked and stuff like that anymore?

    Seriously..everyone is so quick to sue the schools or other people these days, its amazing they haven't put a stop to this entire practice down years ago! Personally, I'm hesitant to even eat something at an office pot-luck unless I know who made it and if they're clean.

    I have friends who won't even let their kids ride the bus because it doesn't have seatbelts. They wear helmets on bikes, and have to sit in booster seats till they're almost 5 feet tall, but they're still letting them eat cookies and cupcakes baked in peoples (possibly filthy) homes? WOW!
  • jedi9393
    jedi9393 Posts: 121
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    And isnt having a whole classroom or school alter what they can eat or bring more of an embarrassment to a kid than them not eatting certain things?
  • chelekaz
    chelekaz Posts: 871 Member
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    IMO you were made aware far enough in advance that an allergy free snack should not be an issue.

    My kids are both school aged and when birthday or special events are in class where we provide snacks, I always make sure that I have a list of classroom allergies so that no child feels left out.
  • ladybug1009
    ladybug1009 Posts: 68 Member
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    If I had a child that had any type of food allergy, I would supply them with their own food and not expect the other parents to be responsible.

    I remember when I was a child and we took treats in to class we had to notify the teacher because one of the kids was diabetic and his mother would be notified so she could bring something in for him to enjoy with us all.

    I don't think it is right to have to cater to that one child.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Honestly, I think it is the teacher's responsibility to make certain that snacks are safe for the children. Not to make it sound to complicated but she need to research the classes food allergies and give the parents a menu of snacks to choose from. That way, there is no debate.
  • jedi9393
    jedi9393 Posts: 121
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    Am I the only person surprised that people are even still allowed to bring in snacks that are home baked and stuff like that anymore?

    Seriously..everyone is so quick to sue the schools or other people these days, its amazing they haven't put a stop to this entire practice down years ago! Personally, I'm hesitant to even eat something at an office pot-luck unless I know who made it and if they're clean.

    I have friends who won't even let their kids ride the bus because it doesn't have seatbelts. They wear helmets on bikes, and have to sit in booster seats till they're almost 5 feet tall, but they're still letting them eat cookies and cupcakes baked in peoples (possibly filthy) homes? WOW!

    People have become waaay too sensative these days. This isnt directed at you personally, but the human race has survived much worse. I believe in being clean and safe, but when i first became a parent I was shocked at how many products were sold that were a waste of money. Bumpers for this and that and a flurry of nonsensical safety products cause people are afraid. It takes just a little dose of common sense and actually watching your kid to avoid spending thousands of dollars childproofing your home!

    I rode the bus with no seat belt and so have millions of others. it seems today that one accident or death happens once every 10 years and there is a huge knee jerk reaction to the point of paranoia. Like i said before. People have always had allergies and they went to school alright. One kid goes to the hospital and its all, "lets ban everything!". Of course we dont want to a child to feel left out at anytime right?? I'm being sarcastic, but kids are gonna be singled out for something at one point. Thats life. Not bullying, I'm against that, but kids are kids. They get over stuff. The parents have their own hang ups, issues, and wanting to feel the same as the other parents. They project their emotional junk onto their children when little timmy could care less.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    Am I the only person surprised that people are even still allowed to bring in snacks that are home baked and stuff like that anymore?

    Seriously..everyone is so quick to sue the schools or other people these days, its amazing they haven't put a stop to this entire practice down years ago! Personally, I'm hesitant to even eat something at an office pot-luck unless I know who made it and if they're clean.

    I have friends who won't even let their kids ride the bus because it doesn't have seatbelts. They wear helmets on bikes, and have to sit in booster seats till they're almost 5 feet tall, but they're still letting them eat cookies and cupcakes baked in peoples (possibly filthy) homes? WOW!

    People have become waaay too sensative these days. This isnt directed at you personally, but the human race has survived much worse. I believe in being clean and safe, but when i first became a parent I was shocked at how many products were sold that were a waste of money. Bumpers for this and that and a flurry of nonsensical safety products cause people are afraid. It takes just a little dose of common sense and actually watching your kid to avoid spending thousands of dollars childproofing your home!

    I rode the bus with no seat belt and so have millions of others. it seems today that one accident or death happens once every 10 years and there is a huge knee jerk reaction to the point of paranoia. Like i said before. People have always had allergies and they went to school alright. One kid goes to the hospital and its all, "lets ban everything!". Of course we dont want to a child to feel left out at anytime right?? I'm being sarcastic, but kids are gonna be singled out for something at one point. Thats life. Not bullying, I'm against that, but kids are kids. They get over stuff. The parents have their own hang ups, issues, and wanting to feel the same as the other parents. They project their emotional junk onto their children when little timmy could care less.
    No offense taken..what you are saying is exactly the point I was trying to make...I actually think its crazy kids don't ride the bus and think people are way too over-protective. The other day my friend was worried about her kid getting a ride home with some parent whose kid isn't still in a booster seat. I know is the law now...but I remember riding home with like 6 little girls after some extra-curricular thing with a neighbor who had one of those old station wagons were you sat sideways facing the middle in bench seats - and we were fine! Its just that people are so quick to sue everyone these days, I'm amazed its even still done. IMO, the schools shouldn't be held responsible and be accountable for watching what goes into each kids mouth. Parents should make sure their kids are provided for and therefore, provide their own snacks instead of relying on everyone else to keep track of what's in the things they send to school.

    I'm glad I don't have to deal with that....school was much easier when we were kids!
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    As someone with NO food allergies(Thank God) its tough to understand these issues, but some kids have life threatening responses to otherwise harmless things like this.
    I would say cooperate with the parents.
    Their kid is more valuable to all of us then the taste your kid gets from some nut put in a cookie to bring to school.
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
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    Interesting question.

    One child who was in a lot of elementary school classes with my (now 16 year old) son was allergic to everything. I mean everything. I'm a nurse and can handle choosing food to avoid random allergies that children may have. But this was insane. The kid lives around the corner, so we had invited him to the house. I called the mom (because I knew he had allergies and I wanted to try to serve a snack that would be within the guidelines). She rattled off this list that scared me to death. Nuts, flour, lunch meats, cheese. And more things I can't even remember. I told her that I would love to give him a snack, but would feel better if she would send one over with him. I was afraid to cause a reaction. She completely understood.

    For school things, she handled the allergies the way I think they should be handled: she sent in small box of snacks for the teacher to keep on hand. If another child brought something in for some occasion, the teacher would pull something from the box for this boy. Ideally, though, the teacher gave the mom notice (such as cupcakes coming in for a birthday), and the mom would make a separate cupcake that her son could have.

    For birthdays (he came to several of my son's birthday parties), she would bring something for him to eat, because he couldn't have pizza. And his own cupcake.

    Our local rec center has a nursery school that uses the space. They have big signs on the door that 1 of the kids has a life-threatening peanut allergy, so the entire building is designated peanut-free. I can see it being necessary at that age. But once a child is old enough, they need to be able to identify food that is off limits or risky by themselves.

    But if a child is allergic to macadamianuts & other things, I agree with you: the parent should provide a snack for his/her own child, to be safe. I, personally, wouldn't leave the responsibility for label-reading to the other parents.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Exactly! Kids(esp young ones) don't notice if they are not eating the same as someone else.

    That's BS. My son just turned 2, which I consider young, and he definitely knows when he's not getting something at least similar to what everyone else it getting. He only snatches off of the other children's plates when he doesn't have something similar on his, which has been a huge issue more than once. And you try explaining any of this to him . . . be my guest . . . he doesn't understand that he's supposed to poop on the potty much less what a gluten allergy is and why he can't have a cupcake.
  • kristen11joy
    kristen11joy Posts: 114 Member
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    I wouldn't want to be the mom that sent the snack in that set off another kid's allergic reaction. So I'd want to know. And I'd send a nut-free snack. (and if it was my kid with the allergy, I'd be sending in their own snacks)
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    Exactly! Kids(esp young ones) don't notice if they are not eating the same as someone else.
    That's BS. My son just turned 2, which I consider young, and he definitely knows when he's not getting something at least similar to what everyone else it getting. He only snatches off of the other children's plates when he doesn't have something similar on his, which has been a huge issue more than once. And you try explaining any of this to him . . . be my guest . . . he doesn't understand that he's supposed to poop on the potty much less what a gluten allergy is and why he can't have a cupcake.

    Oh here we go.. Your son is 2 for crying out loud!! They are impulsive at that age and of course are going to snatch things off other kids plates.. it's just not when it's not similar to his.. It may just be something that he wants, and since he has no self control yet, he's gonna take it.. no matter what. Even if you brought a cupcake for him, he'd prob. try to take the other kids food because he's a toddler and thats what they do.. end of story.

    I also wasn't talking about two yr olds when I said young kids. I'm talking about young school age kids(like kindergarten and up).. most of them don't notice if it's any different because it's how it's been their whole life. If mom is pro-active(like a lot of parents are) then they can bring an alternative, that looks a whole lot like the other snacks.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Exactly! Kids(esp young ones) don't notice if they are not eating the same as someone else.
    That's BS. My son just turned 2, which I consider young, and he definitely knows when he's not getting something at least similar to what everyone else it getting. He only snatches off of the other children's plates when he doesn't have something similar on his, which has been a huge issue more than once. And you try explaining any of this to him . . . be my guest . . . he doesn't understand that he's supposed to poop on the potty much less what a gluten allergy is and why he can't have a cupcake.

    Oh here we go.. Your son is 2 for crying out loud!! They are impulsive at that age and of course are going to snatch things off other kids plates.. it's just not when it's not similar to his.. It may just be something that he wants, and since he has no self control yet, he's gonna take it.. no matter what. Even if you brought a cupcake for him, he'd prob. try to take the other kids food because he's a toddler and thats what they do.. end of story.

    I also wasn't talking about two yr olds when I said young kids. I'm talking about young school age kids(like kindergarten and up).. most of them don't notice if it's any different because it's how it's been their whole life. If mom is pro-active(like a lot of parents are) then they can bring an alternative, that looks a whole lot like the other snacks.

    Agreed. My friend has a 19-month-old and was babysitting a friend's 14-month-old yesterday. They were on different schedules, so she fed her daughter while the other child was napping, then fed the other baby when she woke up.

    Even though my friend's baby had eaten, when she saw the other little girl eating, the 19-mo-old wanted THAT food, so she got a snack and then the 14-mo-old wanted THAT food.

    At that age, that's how it goes. Older children do not behave that way.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    At my office we have people with allergies and they ask whats in a dish and dont eat if it has something in it that they are sensative too. I dont think many jobs go out of their way to accomadate those with allergies.

    Schools are different. They dont want to be sued so i understand them making rules or become nut free. Same for daycares. I dont have a problem with them or teachers inforcing those rules.

    I just find it kinda odd that when i was in school, and I'm 35, we didnt have nut free cafeterias and classrooms. I dont remember going on playdates or joining clubs where we were reminded to not bring certain foods. People kinda handled that themselves. I just dont know if child allergies have increased or people have come to depend on schools waaay to much.

    Interesting, when I was in school (and I'm 34) they started requiring all items come in packaging so that they knew what was on the labels because of nut allergies. I can remember the year it happened too, because that's when we stopped having birthday parties in the classrooms.

    I'm the same age as you and we never had that requirement. My daughter is 17 and her schools have never had that requirement. So, clearly, it depends on the school.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,669 Member
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    Looks like it's still 50/50. So I guess my wife and I both have good points. Thanks for all of your inputs and opinions.
  • Kalrez
    Kalrez Posts: 655 Member
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    I wouldn't want to be the mom that sent the snack in that set off another kid's allergic reaction. So I'd want to know.

    Basically, this.