Did you seriously cheat on me?

GreatSetOfBrains

After reading these conversations daily. .

Can you do me a favor and define cheating? What is okay, whats not?

Sh1tsRainbows

depends on the relationship to some people its checking out someone else..to some its talking/flirting, to some its s*x

Id say if you feel guilty about it or think its wrong then it probably is..

BrettPGH

Simple.

I'm innocent. No matter what she says. She's lying and I would never do that.

That's my rule.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I think each couple has to have that discussion. I consider my ex a cheater because he had an online romantic relationship that involved live webcamming sex and cyber sex (with a 16-year-old in another country). After our divorce he flew her the US, they got engaged and then later broke up. Some people would argue that it has to be physical but to me an emotional/online affair is still an affair.

I guess my point is, before you get married or get into a monogamous relationship you as a couple need to discuss and decide on what monogamous means to you. If you're not going to be monogamous (I know a couple with an open marriage) there has to be a discussion there too of what each party is comfortable with. It's all about honesty and communication.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

sorry duplicate post

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

another duplicate-- apparently I suck at this lol

Iamfit4life

depends on the relationship to some people its checking out someone else..to some its talking/flirting, to some its s*x

Id say if you feel guilty about it or think its wrong then it probably is..

this

KMSForLife

Id say if you feel guilty about it or think its wrong then it probably is..

This . . .

Nerdy_Rose

Depends on the couple, their definitions, whether or not you are monogamous, etc., etc.

DannyMussels

It is cheating if it incorporates moves like jagger.

bry_all01

depends on your relationship. To me, cheating is getting emotionally and/or physically connected with someone with the intent to, or the deed done. If you have to keep it from your significant other, to me, its cheating. Just my opinion.

HazelElfwand

if you wouldn't text, say, or act a certain way if he were right beside you then it's wrong

ThePhoenixRose

depends on the relationship to some people its checking out someone else..to some its talking/flirting, to some its s*x

Id say if you feel guilty about it or think its wrong then it probably is..

this

agreed. some relationships are more open than others. some are more trusting than others. to each their own, so long as it's agreed upon by all those participating in the relationship!

irunforfun

I know I may totally get knocked for this one...but I forgave my *now* ex-husband when it was "just" sex. When he carried that sex over to a relationship, that's when I cared. I think a couple can get over one night stands, to me...it's something I can forgive. Many people will disagree, but it's my stance.

Porn, strip clubs, checking out other women - it's natural. Definitely not cheating.

ilovedeadlifts

depends on the relationship to some people its checking out someone else..to some its talking/flirting, to some its s*x

Id say if you feel guilty about it or think its wrong then it probably is..

agreed. if your consience is bothering you, it's probably "cheating".

if you'd be upset with your significant other for doing the same thing, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

infamousmk

Nah, baby .. I'd never cheat on you .. I loooooove you.. You know you're my girl. These hos aint no thang.

Naughtybiscuit

I know I may totally get knocked for this one...but I forgave my *now* ex-husband when it was "just" sex. When he carried that sex over to a relationship, that's when I cared. I think a couple can get over one night stands, to me...it's something I can forgive. Many people will disagree, but it's my stance.

I agree with this - I could understand how a one night stand could happen (shouldn't but could), but a relationship is unforgivable.

Qarol

overloading on carbs...

infamousmk

I know I may totally get knocked for this one...but I forgave my *now* ex-husband when it was "just" sex. When he carried that sex over to a relationship, that's when I cared. I think a couple can get over one night stands, to me...it's something I can forgive. Many people will disagree, but it's my stance.

Porn, strip clubs, checking out other women - it's natural. Definitely not cheating.

I agree with you. Sex is just something fun to do with your clothes off. It's when a relationship builds, or it takes away from time with your SO, or when you're looking to that other person for any kind of social/emotional support that it becomes cheating.

That being said, I haven't had a truly open relationship since I got divorced. Turns out most people have a hard time following the rules of polyamorous relations.

Rae6503

I consider sex = cheating. But there's a whole variety of things that would get my husband into SERIOUS trouble. Including emotional affairs, kissing, and everything between kissing and sex.

SueInAz

Are we talking about cheating on a diet or cheating on your "diet" because the title says one thing and the content of the OP's post says another.....

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I don't know if I could forgive a one-night stand. Thankfully I haven't had to deal with that-- I guess it would depend on the aftermath. Was he honest about it or did I find out through a third party? Was he drunk? Is he willing to go to counseling? Etc. I mean, he wouldn't be off the hook and I probably wouldn't trust him again for a very long time, but I can't say definitively that I would kick him to the curb (although that's my first thought).

GreatSetOfBrains

I keep reading in sexting. . .

irunforfun

I know I may totally get knocked for this one...but I forgave my *now* ex-husband when it was "just" sex. When he carried that sex over to a relationship, that's when I cared. I think a couple can get over one night stands, to me...it's something I can forgive. Many people will disagree, but it's my stance.

Porn, strip clubs, checking out other women - it's natural. Definitely not cheating.

I agree with you. Sex is just something fun to do with your clothes off. It's when a relationship builds, or it takes away from time with your SO, or when you're looking to that other person for any kind of social/emotional support that it becomes cheating.

That being said, I haven't had a truly open relationship since I got divorced. Turns out most people have a hard time following the rules of polyamorous relations.

I never said it's something that I would condone my hypothetical husband/boyfriend to do...it's just easier to forgive knowing that no emotions were attached to the person whom he cheated on me with.

Don't lose faith though. Not every man is out there to hurt you. Despite what I've been through I still believe that not every man is like my ex.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Sexting is cheating to me. I'm sure other have different opinions. I think the key is, what is cheating to YOU?

JulieSD

If you would feel like **** if your partner did it to you, then its cheating.

ItsCasey

Everybody has their own tolerance level. First of all, I don't think cheating exists unless you are in an exclusive, committed relationship which both parties have acknowledged. I have a lot of chick friends who think any guy they've been on more than one date with is suddenly their property and not allowed to date other women. That's crap.

But once I'm in an exclusive relationship, my tolerance for betrayal is pretty low, and it's all based on honesty, or lack thereof. If you're upfront about whatever you're doing, you're in the clear. Anything that you intentionally mislead me about is crossing the line, even if it's just lunch with an old friend.

I feel this way because I'm not the uptight, irrationally jealous, "don't you dare put your eyes on another chick" kind of woman. So if you feel like you have to lie to me about spending time with another woman, that's going to make it clear to me that something is up. Even if there was no sex or even a kiss, I would feel betrayed by your actions.

GreatSetOfBrains

Don't lose faith though. Not every man is out there to hurt you. Despite what I've been through I still believe that not every man is like my ex.

Ha my husbands not cheating. . I'd rip if off!

Just knew the subject would draw readers.

glockster972

overloading on carbs...

A very serious matter.

KMSForLife

If my husband was sexting then we would have some issues! It's disrespectful - it's gross.

Furthermore, I've deleted "friends" on here because of the constant "sex" references because I KNOW that it would bother my husband that I would communicate with people in that fashion. So again - goes back to respecting one another and knowing the expectations in your relationship. BUT - hell no to sexting.

ninerbuff

It's cheating if your SO feels it is.....................nuff said. You can justify it, but that won't change their mind.