honest question

FairyMiss

I am not posting this to make trouble, i honestly want to know why if you see a post that is about something you do not do, as in
some sort of diet or eating plan , why do you feel the need to click on that post for the single purpose of flaming that person.

Some people on this site seem to search out post on plans they DON'T like or agree with . why?

does it make you feel bigger or smarter to tell people they are wrong, even if it is working for them?

I honestly do want to know why people seem to have to got to subjects they are supposedly not interested in?

jagar07

I haven't run into this actually. Not on this site anyway, thats why I love it so much. I am sorry you have, I hope you get more encouragement, because that's why we are all here!

newarkco05

Agreed. I do think it is important for everyone to be informed of both the pros and cons to whatever plan there are doing however there is better ways of doing that then out right telling them they are wrong. Give an article or two and let them read and decide for themselves. Also, some peoples idea of their lifestyle and what they want to eat for the rest of their lives is different then other peoples. Just because it works for one person, doesn't mean it is going to work for everyone!

UnpredictablyPretty21

Its unfortunate that you have experienced that sort of negativity, I cant say that I have seen much or any of it myself, however I tend to read post that are beneficial and get a good response back.

If someone ask a question because they do not know I would assume the person is giving their honest opinion. I guess it partly comes down to the personality of that individual as well and the way they respond, they may see it as normal, however someone else may take offence to it.

Umeboshi

Part of helping people out is pointing out when they're wrong, or doing something stupid.

I'm assuming you're talking about HCG : It's eating 500 calories a day. Not healthy no matter how you think about it. If someone posts about eating way less than 1200 calories, I'm going to say something whether the diet has a fancy name and chemicals to go with it or not.

Iamfit4life

Part of helping people out is pointing out when they're wrong, or doing something stupid.

I'm assuming you're talking about HCG : It's eating 500 calories a day. Not healthy no matter how you think about it. If someone posts about eating way less than 1200 calories, I'm going to say something whether the diet has a fancy name and chemicals to go with it or not.

This.
If people are doing somethingr wrong or dangerous, imo they should be told.
I won't blindly appluad irresponsible behavior.

DWilbanks

I am not posting this to make trouble, i honestly want to know why if you see a post that is about something you do not do, as in
some sort of diet or eating plan , why do you feel the need to click on that post for the single purpose of flaming that person.

Some people on this site seem to search out post on plans they DON'T like or agree with . why?

does it make you feel bigger or smarter to tell people they are wrong, even if it is working for them?

I honestly do want to know why people seem to have to got to subjects they are supposedly not interested in?

First of all, posters should understand that if they start a post as to how do you feel about such and such diet, they are going to get answers. It's a case of careful what you ask for. Second of all, I understand your point of it seems some replies cut to the quick and seem harsh, BUT I really think that's just the internet. In an answer where you can't hear the person talk and get his tone of voice you will always interpret the reply the way you perceive it. In other words, I don't think they are trying to be mean, their replies are just concise and to the point and others perceive it the way they want.

TheRoadDog

The whole purpose of a forum is the sharing of different view points. Unfortunately, along with finding people that agree, you will find those that disagree with a particular view. Without both sides there would be no discussion.

Disagreement is healthy. Personal attacks are not.

FairyMiss

Part of helping people out is pointing out when they're wrong, or doing something stupid.

I'm assuming you're talking about HCG : It's eating 500 calories a day. Not healthy no matter how you think about it. If someone posts about eating way less than 1200 calories, I'm going to say something whether the diet has a fancy name and chemicals to go with it or not.

This.
If people are doing somethingr wrong or dangerous, imo they should be told.
I won't blindly appluad irresponsible behavior.

only partly the hcg.
and i am not referring to the type of post where people are actually asking for opinions on things.

I am referring to the type of post where people askin things like..

Anyone else doing ..(hcg, atkins, low carb, dunkan, paleo etc .)

i cant understand why people who are not doing said diet in question feel the overwhelming need to hop on the thread to give their 2 cents
they are not looking for anyone opinion , just others doing the same.
and are really not intrested in anyons opinion.

Is it that impossilbe just to WALK ON BY?

jedi9393

I am not posting this to make trouble, i honestly want to know why if you see a post that is about something you do not do, as in
some sort of diet or eating plan , why do you feel the need to click on that post for the single purpose of flaming that person.

Some people on this site seem to search out post on plans they DON'T like or agree with . why?

does it make you feel bigger or smarter to tell people they are wrong, even if it is working for them?

I honestly do want to know why people seem to have to got to subjects they are supposedly not interested in?

I dont understand why people need to point out something negative or attack someone cause they are doing what they are doing for them. Now if this pertains to a family member or friend then I can understand. You dont want to see a loved one hurt in anyway, but on a message board!?!?! Give me a break.

I'm gonna say something that is probably gonna rub people the wrong way, but oh well you asked for opinions so here I go. For most of the naysayers and people who feel the need to blast doesnt have anything to do with warning people or try to "help". Do you really care about someone you will never meet on a message board? Someone that doesnt have any effect on your day to day real life? if so, get a life! This is what it boils down too::

1. Jealousy: Deep down inside this person is seething that they cant follow a strict diet and you can.
2. Superiority: They want to feel better than the other person by bringing them down or telling them all the research they have done on said diet.
3. Insanity: Some people just cant let it alone. Some people feel the need to insert their contrary opinion on a topic. They cant help it. It's like some sick compulsion.

Personally I'm open to anything. I dont see certain diets or products are dangerous unless the FDA has banned them! I can I can honestly say I'm not against any type of diet. If it works for you then hey I might join you.

If someone posts: hey I'm puking everyday is anyone doing the same to lose weight. I have the maturity and dont have the time to get into an argument over why they are vomitting to lose weight. I also dont have the mental energy. I just keep it moving. Some people need to keep it friggin moving!!!!!!

newarkco05

The whole purpose of a forum is the sharing of different view points. Unfortunately, along with finding people that agree, you will find those that disagree with a particular view. Without both sides there would be no discussion.

Disagreement is healthy. Personal attacks are not.

I think this is more so what she was talking about... the personal attacks. I think most people just don't see them because the threads get locked and taken off. I agree that there is different points of view and that is very healthy and we all need all the info we can get to make an informed decision but some people just don't know how to state their opinion without attacking others.

katkins3

Often I see that replies are seen as "flaming someone" when all they really are is disagreeing. When an OP asks a question they should accept that there will be answers they weren't looking for. Some may sound more harsh than needed, but its all in how it is interpreted. Most people honestly want to help and only a few purposely aim to hurt.

newarkco05

I am not posting this to make trouble, i honestly want to know why if you see a post that is about something you do not do, as in
some sort of diet or eating plan , why do you feel the need to click on that post for the single purpose of flaming that person.

Some people on this site seem to search out post on plans they DON'T like or agree with . why?

does it make you feel bigger or smarter to tell people they are wrong, even if it is working for them?

I honestly do want to know why people seem to have to got to subjects they are supposedly not interested in?

I dont understand why people need to point out something negative or attack someone cause they are doing what they are doing for them. Now if this pertains to a family member or friend then I can understand. You dont want to see a loved one hurt in anyway, but on a message board!?!?! Give me a break.

I'm gonna say something that is probably gonna rub people the wrong way, but oh well you asked for opinions so here I go. For most of the naysayers and people who feel the need to blast doesnt have anything to do with warning people or try to "help". Do you really care about someone you will never meet on a message board? Someone that doesnt have any effect on your day to day real life? if so, get a life! This is what it boils down too::

1. Jealousy: Deep down inside this person is seething that they cant follow a strict diet and you can.
2. Superiority: They want to feel better than the other person by bringing them down or telling them all the research they have done on said diet.
3. Insanity: Some people just cant let it alone. Some people feel the need to insert their contrary opinion on a topic. They cant help it. It's like some sick compulsion.

Personally I'm open to anything. I dont see certain diets or products are dangerous unless the FDA has banned them! I can I can honestly say I'm not against any type of diet. If it works for you then hey I might join you.

Well said!

manderson27

I agree with Umeboshi

If I posted that I was going to live on cabbage for six months I would expect people to call me out on it in every way, "nice" or "nasty". If you learn anything on this site it is that the only way to healthy living is a healthy diet and people feel very strongly on this site about that and quite rightly.

Also if I do something stupid I expect my TRUE friends to say "WTF do you think your doing that is just stupid" and explain to me why.

Why do people expect everyone to be nice life isn't that way, people aren't that way and when someone feels strongly they will speak out strongly.

"So you have made enemies? Good. It means you have stood up for something in your life" <Winston Churchill>

"I may not agree with what you say but I would fight to the death for your right to say it"I don't know who said this but it is quite relevant for both poster and responders

jedi9393

But....If I post looking for others doing HCG, for example, I dont need people showing up saying, "OMG you are sooo stupid for doing that and it is dangerous, blah, blah blah".

How is that helping? Is that even what I asked?? The OP is looking for people who are doing it and asking for support from them. I dont understand nor do i feel the need to pop by and say what they are doing is wrong. I'm not doing HCG, so I just ignore and move on. If you cant move on then you need to really reflect on why you cant.

You don't have to be nice all the time. Thats not the point. The point is why does everyone feel the need to have an opinion on everything when no one is asking them??? Its just cra.

Iamfit4life

and "Jealousy" btw is ridiculous, seriously. A lot of people have been on here long enough and tried enough methods.
IMO this isn't a "fad diet" place it's about a healthier lifestyle.



If some 18 yr old is eating 600 calories a day, she's going to be told how harmful and dangerous it is.

ArroganceInStep

I dont understand why people need to point out something negative or attack someone cause they are doing what they are doing for them. Now if this pertains to a family member or friend then I can understand. You dont want to see a loved one hurt in anyway, but on a message board!?!?! Give me a break.

I'm gonna say something that is probably gonna rub people the wrong way, but oh well you asked for opinions so here I go. For most of the naysayers and people who feel the need to blast doesnt have anything to do with warning people or try to "help". Do you really care about someone you will never meet on a message board? Someone that doesnt have any effect on your day to day real life? if so, get a life! This is what it boils down too::

1. Jealousy: Deep down inside this person is seething that they cant follow a strict diet and you can.
2. Superiority: They want to feel better than the other person by bringing them down or telling them all the research they have done on said diet.
3. Insanity: Some people just cant let it alone. Some people feel the need to insert their contrary opinion on a topic. They cant help it. It's like some sick compulsion.

Personally I'm open to anything. I dont see certain diets or products are dangerous unless the FDA has banned them! I can I can honestly say I'm not against any type of diet. If it works for you then hey I might join you.

If someone posts: hey I'm puking everyday is anyone doing the same to lose weight. I have the maturity and dont have the time to get into an argument over why they are vomitting to lose weight. I also dont have the mental energy. I just keep it moving. Some people need to keep it friggin moving!!!!!!

You haven't been around the web much, have you? It's the nature of internet forum posts, this is nothing new.

With respect to the FDA banning certain diets. The specific reference was to eating too few calories a day to adequately sustain yourself. How on Earth is the FDA going to ban that? By forcing you to eat a minimum number of calories?

In regards to your last comment though, ignoring someone who is doing harm to themselves isn't showing maturity or keeping it moving. It's indifference. There are much better ways to interact with someone in that position than most folks do, but I would argue that doing nothing can be just as bad as getting into an argument with that person over what they're doing.

Lastly, your comment is doing EXACTLY to folks who post contrary beliefs to more extreme diets what you're saying they shouldn't be doing to people who follow those diets.

http://thesaurus.com/browse/hypocrisy

jedi9393

It is jealousy I've seen it at my workplace and on different message boards. People will say, "oh well you just cant eating like that forever, I tried it and it didnt last". maybe for you, but that doesnt mean you are me. I've been low carb for years and I see the bitterness. People ask, "Well how do you do that?" I say, "its easy and self control". Then I see the look on their face. Its jealousy.

And if some 18 year old wants to eat 600 calories a day and she doesnt know its dangerous then thats just sad, but then again I'm not her parent or friend. Then again who is saying it is dangerous? You? "experts? maybe she has a reason for eating that low calorie. Who am I to judge?

So once again if she is asking for those on the same diet then I'm not gonna respond cause she is looking for others like her and not an opinion on what she does. Just igonore and move on. I promise you life is soooo much better to pick your battlles instead of trying to find one. I dont find it my life goal to argue with someone over what they are doing, especially a stranger!!!

It isnt indifference and I dont get how belittling them is helping them either. There are tactful ways to let people know you dont agree. If you lack tact then you might spin that person even more into a distructive cycle.

Unknown

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jedi9393

Obama is ruining this country.

Ok now I'm confused! LMAO!

I just dont understand that just because its the internet then its carte blanche for people to act crazy or be nasty. I am the same person online that I am in person! I'm not a nanny, nor do I want peoples opinons when i dont ask for them. And yes, some doctors actually put people on low calorie diets.

Unknown

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HMonsterX

I'm gonna say something that is probably gonna rub people the wrong way, but oh well you asked for opinions so here I go. For most of the naysayers and people who feel the need to blast doesnt have anything to do with warning people or try to "help". Do you really care about someone you will never meet on a message board? Someone that doesnt have any effect on your day to day real life? if so, get a life! This is what it boils down too::

1. Jealousy: Deep down inside this person is seething that they cant follow a strict diet and you can.
2. Superiority: They want to feel better than the other person by bringing them down or telling them all the research they have done on said diet.
3. Insanity: Some people just cant let it alone. Some people feel the need to insert their contrary opinion on a topic. They cant help it. It's like some sick compulsion.

Or maybe, just maybe, they actually care more than those who blindly agree.

1) Jealousy? Why would i be jealous of someone who is starving themselves, eating far less than me, risky their health, for something they could do be eating sensibly?!
2) Superiority? Feeling superior to someone on an internet forum? Bringing someone down by telling them the truth, as they clearly aren't aware of the potential damage they are doing themselves. Sounds like being helpful to me.
3) Insanity? So helping someone by making them aware of the pitfalls is insane? No, that sounds like being a caring person. Blindly agreeing and letting someone carry on doing something dangerous without caring...that's what's insane.

If someone posts: hey I'm puking everyday is anyone doing the same to lose weight. I have the maturity and dont have the time to get into an argument over why they are vomitting to lose weight. I also dont have the mental energy. I just keep it moving. Some people need to keep it friggin moving!!!!!!

Idd. Those that couldn't give a crap about others keep moving on by. Those that actually care, and don't want to seen anyone hurt themselves, raise their voices. I hope it continues to be this way.

Iamfit4life

I'm gonna say something that is probably gonna rub people the wrong way, but oh well you asked for opinions so here I go. For most of the naysayers and people who feel the need to blast doesnt have anything to do with warning people or try to "help". Do you really care about someone you will never meet on a message board? Someone that doesnt have any effect on your day to day real life? if so, get a life! This is what it boils down too::

1. Jealousy: Deep down inside this person is seething that they cant follow a strict diet and you can.
2. Superiority: They want to feel better than the other person by bringing them down or telling them all the research they have done on said diet.
3. Insanity: Some people just cant let it alone. Some people feel the need to insert their contrary opinion on a topic. They cant help it. It's like some sick compulsion.

Or maybe, just maybe, they actually care more than those who blindly agree.

1) Jealousy? Why would i be jealous of someone who is starving themselves, eating far less than me, risky their health, for something they could do be eating sensibly?!
2) Superiority? Feeling superior to someone on an internet forum? Bringing someone down by telling them the truth, as they clearly aren't aware of the potential damage they are doing themselves. Sounds like being helpful to me.
3) Insanity? So helping someone by making them aware of the pitfalls is insane? No, that sounds like being a caring person. Blindly agreeing and letting someone carry on doing something dangerous without caring...that's what's insane.

If someone posts: hey I'm puking everyday is anyone doing the same to lose weight. I have the maturity and dont have the time to get into an argument over why they are vomitting to lose weight. I also dont have the mental energy. I just keep it moving. Some people need to keep it friggin moving!!!!!!

Idd. Those that couldn't give a crap about others keep moving on by. Those that actually care, and don't want to seen anyone hurt themselves, raise their voices. I hope it continues to be this way.

This is why we're friends.

jedi9393

Thats your opinion HM, but I disagree that ALL these people care. A few maybe, but most just want to expound their opinion and thats it. They want to be right. They want the other person to agree that they are right.

So telling someone what they are doing is wrong is leading to what? If the person is heck bent on doing what they do how is your opinion gonna stop them? How is arguing with them gonna stop them? It doesnt. Its a futile waste of energy that I do not understand.

And heck yeah I can say I am indifferent about certain things Most people dont want to admit this. I see it everyday. We are a culture of indifferent! Where have you guys been? So now all of the sudden everyone cares about what diet someone does and not about "real" things? Come on really? Thats why I say its more to it than that. But you have to know when to fight and when to sit back and observe. That does come with maturity. I dont consider people that I will probably never meet ever on a message board as real friends. Sorry, just dont. I have friends in the real world. I dont take message board stuff seriously.

You dont know what kinda life a person leads. Truth is relative online.

HMonsterX

Thats your opinion HM, but I disagree that ALL these people care. A few maybe, but most just want to expound their opinion and thats it. They want to be right. They want the other person to agree that they are right.

So telling someone what they are doing is wrong is leading to what? If the person is heck bent on doing what they do how is your opinion gonna stop them? How is arguing with them gonna stop them? It doesnt. Its a futile waste of energy that I do not understand.

And heck yeah I can say I am indifferent about certain things Most people dont want to admit this. I see it everyday. We are a culture of indifferent! Where have you guys been? So now all of the sudden everyone cares about what diet someone does and not about "real" things? Come on really? Thats why I say its more to it than that. But you have to know when to fight and when to sit back and observe. That does come with maturity. I dont consider people that I will probably never meet ever on a message board as real friends. Sorry, just dont. I have friends in the real world. I dont take message board stuff seriously.

You dont know what kinda life a person leads. Truth is relative online.

And that's where we differ. I would never just sit back and observe someone doing something incredibly dangerous without at least trying to make them aware of the consequences of their own actions, especially when all it might take is a few lines of text and links to some research. Where's the harm in that? Better to try to help and fail, than to just "sit back and observe".

If they are hell bent on killing themselves, they will anyway. But some can go either way, and the host of posts informing them of the dangers may be enough to swing them away from the edge.

ArroganceInStep

It is jealousy I've seen it at my workplace and on different message boards. People will say, "oh well you just cant eating like that forever, I tried it and it didnt last". maybe for you, but that doesnt mean you are me. I've been low carb for years and I see the bitterness. People ask, "Well how do you do that?" I say, "its easy and self control". Then I see the look on their face. Its jealousy.

And if some 18 year old wants to eat 600 calories a day and she doesnt know its dangerous then thats just sad, but then again I'm not her parent or friend. Then again who is saying it is dangerous? You? "experts? maybe she has a reason for eating that low calorie. Who am I to judge?

So once again if she is asking for those on the same diet then I'm not gonna respond cause she is looking for others like her and not an opinion on what she does. Just igonore and move on. I promise you life is soooo much better to pick your battlles instead of trying to find one. I dont find it my life goal to argue with someone over what they are doing, especially a stranger!!!

It isnt indifference and I dont get how belittling them is helping them either. There are tactful ways to let people know you dont agree. If you lack tact then you might spin that person even more into a distructive cycle.

Arguing with strangers is what forums are all about. Again, if you don't realize that, you really haven't been on the web much.

The difference between you being on Atkins and an 18 year old starving themselves is pretty tremendous. Saying who are you to judge is a cop out.

Tact is something that's lacking terribly on internet forums, and it can be counterproductive, but I still hold that inaction with someone who is clearly endangering themselves is just as bad as slamming them online. I'm sure there might be 1 (MAYBE 2) reason(s) for an 18 year old to eat a max of 600 calories a day, but that would be under extreme doctor supervision. Also they'd be unlikely to be posting to random forums looking for advice.

The negative experiences you've had in support of Atkins is showing, just as much as you say others slamming diet xyz are biased towards their own beliefs.

Why can't you just let THOSE people be? Why can't YOU keep it moving? Why can't YOU get a life?

FairyMiss

I guess some peoples egos are so large that they just can't grasp the concept that some people are not intrested in their opinion.

and some , alot, of people on here (and internet as awhole) do not grasp the concept of an opinion, too many think what ever the personally believe is the gospel truth

FairyMiss

In my personal opinion (aka the gods honest gospel truth) if the subject , or question does not say ..

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON..............

just just shouldnt give it

Iamfit4life

In my personal opinion (aka the gods honest gospel truth) if the subject , or question does not say ..

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON..............

just just shouldnt give it

Well, I strongly disagree.

And it appers so do a lot of my friends. Who are in those threads. Who I know for a fact care.
If you don't have compassion or concern for people who are doing great harm to themselves, fantastic.

jedi9393

well the OP is asking the question and not you.

I also didnt realize that arguing with strangers is what the forums or the internet is all about?I dont visit forums much and was shocked to see how much negativity is about. So for a forum and a site designed to help people and encourage it sure isnt every helpful and encouraging when people slam or bicker! Who and how is that helping? If that is the case then this site is doing nothing to help people. Its more harmful if that is what goes on. Isnt that a bit hypocritical??

I understand opinions. I'm not against them, but calling some stupid, insane, crazy etc is not helping. I would rather someone just not say anything. Once again if the person isnt looking for advice. Advice I understand peoples opinions, but if someone is looking for others that are on a certain diet then advice is not needed.

I only give my opinion when asked. yes fairymiss it is ego too. Do people do this at work? at home too? I would hate to be married to a husband that felt his need to opinionate everything and every situtaion. I know when to keep my trap shut and when to open it. I know how to talk to people in a rational way. I dont over emotionalize everything.

HMonsterX

In my personal opinion (aka the gods honest gospel truth) if the subject , or question does not say ..

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON..............

just just shouldnt give it

And that's where we must agree to differ. If someone posts some dangerous unhealthy stuff, that modern medicine has PROVEN to be unhealthy, where opinions are trumped by actual fact, then i will continue to speak up and try to help and inform. If you still want to do your crazy crap afterwards, then that's down to you. At least i can rest easy knowing that i TRIED, instead of being selfish and uncaring enough to just ignore them.

Sometimes being "slammed" is what it takes to shock people enough to think "Wow, these guys are really, really against this idea i'm thinking of! It must be really bad for them to react like that! I KNOW! I'll do some research into it, to find out why they are so passionately against the idea!"

I'd rather be considered "rude" for trying to help someone, than sit back, be "polite", and let them carry on blind.