honest question

HMonsterX

but can someone explain to me what does informing them of the danger do? So what if they know all that and still gonna do what they gonna do? So you've just wasted your time? Or is that about making the person giving the opinion feel better about themselves? Feel that at least they did something? Real helping is about changing or saving. if you are not doing either whats the point?

And yes, I'm practical and cynical, but at least I can admit it and not pretend to be someone I'm not!

If they are that determined to do it, then nothing will stop them. As mentioned before some people post that stuff on here as they are looking for confirmation that what they are doing is ok, as it if was dangerous surely SOME ONE will say something! Even if we stop one teen from becoming ana via our words it's worth it.

Yes, you are practical and cynical, so stop trying to make those of us who DO actually care from trying to help people! You're going beyond not caring and stepping back and moving into downright destructive. Would you block that ambulance from trying to get to that car crash that looks like everyone died anyway?

jedi9393

Doctors aren't able to save everyone they treat, and certain ones like neurosurgeons have a particularly low success rate (I had a friend who was one and basically only got called in when the hospital wanted to avoid being sued, his success rate was like 1% or something awful). So they shouldn't even try. That's just being practical. If you think it's pointless because it will never work then fine, don't say anything. But if the person who is saying something thinks that it just might, then the only thing they're guilty of is being an optimist. They might not be tactful about it, but then the argument should be about how best to reach said person.

The question was why they do it, and the answer for some may be your cynical belief. For others though, it's that they just might help. It's unlikely that they will, but that small chance, to them, is worth the time it takes to write up a response.

It's their time spent typing, not yours. Why can't you let it go?

Well doctors have training and skill and are there to help. It's their job. It's not mine. Plus your giving a personal opinion and not sound medical advice unless you are a doctor.

Why cant I let it go? once again the OP, who is on my friends list is asking the question and not you. I didnt know that this was your thread. I have been asking questions and giving my opinon on why and how people feel the need to do what they do. So if you have a problem with it bounce. I dont have any problem with anyone here expressing their side or how they feel.

As for the lincoln quote, that was awesome!

I'm not trying to persude anyone to my thinking. I just dont understand that either. Why cant you have a discussion without the need to persude. So we agree to disagree. I'm alright with that. Jesus. I'm just trying to understand that way of thinking thats all. No more no less.

manderson27

Thats your opinion HM, but I disagree that ALL these people care. A few maybe, but most just want to expound their opinion and thats it. They want to be right. They want the other person to agree that they are right.

So telling someone what they are doing is wrong is leading to what? If the person is heck bent on doing what they do how is your opinion gonna stop them? How is arguing with them gonna stop them? It doesnt. Its a futile waste of energy that I do not understand.

And heck yeah I can say I am indifferent about certain things Most people dont want to admit this. I see it everyday. We are a culture of indifferent! Where have you guys been? So now all of the sudden everyone cares about what diet someone does and not about "real" things? Come on really? Thats why I say its more to it than that. But you have to know when to fight and when to sit back and observe. That does come with maturity. I dont consider people that I will probably never meet ever on a message board as real friends. Sorry, just dont. I have friends in the real world. I dont take message board stuff seriously.

You dont know what kinda life a person leads. Truth is relative online.

Truth is never relative. Opinions, feelings, emotions..all that is relative. Truth, by it's very definition, is not relative.

Eating too few calories is dangerous. Vomiting up the foods you eat is dangerous. That's not my opinion. This isn't a new concept that has never been studied before. It's harmful to the person. We know that. To pretend otherwise leads to the very kind of society that allows people to walk around slowly killing themselves with no one saying a word about it.

You're free to do and say whatever you'd like in this country (seeing as we're mostly U.S. in here). That right means everything to me. But included in that is the right of others to freely tell you when you're doing something wrong. Instead of getting defensive these people should be appreciated. They are trying to help you. People who let you go ahead and do things they know hurt you sure aren't doing you any favors.

If you want everyone to tell you how great you are and no one to give you a dissenting opinion talk to yourself in a mirror. This is life. You can't control everyone. Stop trying.

(Also most of this is just me rambling and not at all directed at the person who posted the quote)

Yes I never said it wasnt dangerous, but I think some people need to put things in perspective. This isnt your niece having a puke everytime she eats. This isnt a family member or friend. Of course you help that person if that was the case.

This is the internet and a forum with people all over the world. Different people, different lives and who knows what that person is really like? or what they are really doing? Its all about context. IMO I don't try to be a internet nanny. I have issues and problems of my own. It's not like I'm every gonna know or meet or talk to this person. I'm passionate about things that really matter and sorry internet people just isnt on my list of high priorities. LOL! It doesnt make me a rude, mean or not compassionate person, just a sane one! And using the excuse, that hey its the internet is a lame one. Just cause its the internet doesnt mean people have to be jerks.

Once again this isnt about a person asking for advice. And you really belive someone wants to be talked out of it??? Ummm...huh? Now thats just odd

Serious question to you. What do you gain by being on this site yourself?. i am not being sarcastic I am genuinely interested in your reply.

I came here to track my calories and food diary and to track my progress. I ignored the forums for a while and dont get on here that often. Only when one of my added friends make a post like the OP. I read the forums for tips and workout advice to see what is new, but not for friendship or nothing like that.

I am very disturbed by how negative and argumentative people are on here. My mental energy is tapped. thats why i dont do forums. Just too much.

Right, so you are just defending your friend in this instance, I see, thank you. But forums are argumentative it is the nature of the beast. Yes you will get very rude people but surely the majority are reasonable and I have found extremely informative. They can also be addictive. I can pass on most of them but then something sparks my interest like this one and hey presto here I am with my opinions, Sorry. :embarassed:

Laurayinz

Knowledge is power

HMonsterX

Well doctors have training and skill and are there to help. It's their job. It's not mine. Plus your giving a personal opinion and not sound medical advice unless you are a doctor.

If i saw someone choking, should i just let them choke to death, as i'm not trained to help? Hell no! I'll damn sure try to help, try the Heimlich manoeuvre, do whatever i could think of.

Whereas you, from all you've said, would just sit and observe them struggling, safe in the knowledge that you don't know that person, aren't trained, so why should you even try to help?

Thank god there seems to be more people like me that you tbh...

jedi9393

Thats your opinion HM, but I disagree that ALL these people care. A few maybe, but most just want to expound their opinion and thats it. They want to be right. They want the other person to agree that they are right.

So telling someone what they are doing is wrong is leading to what? If the person is heck bent on doing what they do how is your opinion gonna stop them? How is arguing with them gonna stop them? It doesnt. Its a futile waste of energy that I do not understand.

And heck yeah I can say I am indifferent about certain things Most people dont want to admit this. I see it everyday. We are a culture of indifferent! Where have you guys been? So now all of the sudden everyone cares about what diet someone does and not about "real" things? Come on really? Thats why I say its more to it than that. But you have to know when to fight and when to sit back and observe. That does come with maturity. I dont consider people that I will probably never meet ever on a message board as real friends. Sorry, just dont. I have friends in the real world. I dont take message board stuff seriously.

You dont know what kinda life a person leads. Truth is relative online.

Truth is never relative. Opinions, feelings, emotions..all that is relative. Truth, by it's very definition, is not relative.

Eating too few calories is dangerous. Vomiting up the foods you eat is dangerous. That's not my opinion. This isn't a new concept that has never been studied before. It's harmful to the person. We know that. To pretend otherwise leads to the very kind of society that allows people to walk around slowly killing themselves with no one saying a word about it.

You're free to do and say whatever you'd like in this country (seeing as we're mostly U.S. in here). That right means everything to me. But included in that is the right of others to freely tell you when you're doing something wrong. Instead of getting defensive these people should be appreciated. They are trying to help you. People who let you go ahead and do things they know hurt you sure aren't doing you any favors.

If you want everyone to tell you how great you are and no one to give you a dissenting opinion talk to yourself in a mirror. This is life. You can't control everyone. Stop trying.

(Also most of this is just me rambling and not at all directed at the person who posted the quote)

Yes I never said it wasnt dangerous, but I think some people need to put things in perspective. This isnt your niece having a puke everytime she eats. This isnt a family member or friend. Of course you help that person if that was the case.

This is the internet and a forum with people all over the world. Different people, different lives and who knows what that person is really like? or what they are really doing? Its all about context. IMO I don't try to be a internet nanny. I have issues and problems of my own. It's not like I'm every gonna know or meet or talk to this person. I'm passionate about things that really matter and sorry internet people just isnt on my list of high priorities. LOL! It doesnt make me a rude, mean or not compassionate person, just a sane one! And using the excuse, that hey its the internet is a lame one. Just cause its the internet doesnt mean people have to be jerks.

Once again this isnt about a person asking for advice. And you really belive someone wants to be talked out of it??? Ummm...huh? Now thats just odd

Serious question to you. What do you gain by being on this site yourself?. i am not being sarcastic I am genuinely interested in your reply.

I came here to track my calories and food diary and to track my progress. I ignored the forums for a while and dont get on here that often. Only when one of my added friends make a post like the OP. I read the forums for tips and workout advice to see what is new, but not for friendship or nothing like that.

I am very disturbed by how negative and argumentative people are on here. My mental energy is tapped. thats why i dont do forums. Just too much.

Right, so you are just defending your friend in this instance, I see, thank you. But forums are argumentative it is the nature of the beast. Yes you will get very rude people but surely the majority are reasonable and I have found extremely informative.

OMG thank you! yes yes fairymiss is my friend. We see eye to eye on this. Thats why I am here. if the forums are argumentative like this then its counterproductive to helping IMO. So i wont be on here often! Its just too mentally exhausting!

If I see someone chocking or in a car wreck is one thing, but once again over the internet who knows. In person is one thing, but over a forum? uh no, get real.

BrettPGH

Truth is never relative. Opinions, feelings, emotions..all that is relative. Truth, by it's very definition, is not relative.

Eating too few calories is dangerous. Vomiting up the foods you eat is dangerous. That's not my opinion. This isn't a new concept that has never been studied before. It's harmful to the person. We know that. To pretend otherwise leads to the very kind of society that allows people to walk around slowly killing themselves with no one saying a word about it.

You're free to do and say whatever you'd like in this country (seeing as we're mostly U.S. in here). That right means everything to me. But included in that is the right of others to freely tell you when you're doing something wrong. Instead of getting defensive these people should be appreciated. They are trying to help you. People who let you go ahead and do things they know hurt you sure aren't doing you any favors.

If you want everyone to tell you how great you are and no one to give you a dissenting opinion talk to yourself in a mirror. This is life. You can't control everyone. Stop trying.

(Also most of this is just me rambling and not at all directed at the person who posted the quote)

Yes I never said it wasnt dangerous, but I think some people need to put things in perspective. This isnt your niece having a puke everytime she eats. This isnt a family member or friend. Of course you help that person if that was the case.

This is the internet and a forum with people all over the world. Different people, different lives and who knows what that person is really like? or what they are really doing? Its all about context. IMO I don't try to be a internet nanny. I have issues and problems of my own. It's not like I'm every gonna know or meet or talk to this person. I'm passionate about things that really matter and sorry internet people just isnt on my list of high priorities. LOL! It doesnt make me a rude, mean or not compassionate person, just a sane one! And using the excuse, that hey its the internet is a lame one. Just cause its the internet doesnt mean people have to be jerks.

Once again this isnt about a person asking for advice. And you really belive someone wants to be talked out of it??? Ummm...huh? Now thats just odd

Just because whoever posts isn't my family doesn't mean I'm not allowed to say something if they are harming themselves. It's my time, I don't mind doing it. Why would you (or anyone, again not focusing all this on you) want to stop someone from helping others? Just so the person harming themselves doesn't have to hear anything "negative"?

I don't think it is negative to encourage people to eat healthy, exercise and make good choices. I won't support a bad idea, no matter how much someone wants me to. If they really don't want to hear any dissenting opinion whatsoever they shouldn't use the internet. The internet is a marvelous tool that allows people access to FACTS. People looking to avoid facts should not use the internet.

I don't think ignoring people who might need help makes you sane. I don't think my giving them good advice makes me insane.

They can want to be talked out of it or not, that's beyond my control. But it is in my power to try to give them the best advice I can. They can then choose to still ignore it. But I will not be called "negative" for trying to help and I will not be told to hold my tongue while others support bad ideas.

ArroganceInStep

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln

Ooh! A Game!

Pick me! Pick me!


“There are risks and costs to a program of action, but they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction”
~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

jedi9393

well i only give advice or opinion usually when I'm asked. thats me. I try to be tactful cause I know I hate when people talk to me like i'm a child. So I try to be firm yet nice. but I dont think what I do or how lose weight is gospel and some act like what they do IS gospel, that where I think it rubs the OP the wrong way. its that attitude of what I do is best for everyone. Not talking about extreme dieting or anything. We all should know what is dangerous, but just cause you for instance are paleo doesnt mean anyone who is not is an idiot.

Gigi_licious

I am not posting this to make trouble, i honestly want to know why if you see a post that is about something you do not do, as in
some sort of diet or eating plan , why do you feel the need to click on that post for the single purpose of flaming that person.

Some people on this site seem to search out post on plans they DON'T like or agree with . why?

does it make you feel bigger or smarter to tell people they are wrong, even if it is working for them?

I honestly do want to know why people seem to have to got to subjects they are supposedly not interested in?

It's too early for this ****e. Please wait until late afternoon to cause trouble. Thanks and bye.

BrettPGH

well i only give advice or opinion usually when I'm asked. thats me. I try to be tactful cause I know I hate when people talk to me like i'm a child. So I try to be firm yet nice.

It's an open forum. Discussion is free. If we all waited for individual permission before saying something in a thread this place would be pretty empty and dull.

But tact is key. It's very rare that you'll convince anyone to change their mind yelling or being rude. I hope you don't think I was attacking you with anything that I said. Just expressing my different view on things. No offense ever intended.

manderson27

Thats your opinion HM, but I disagree that ALL these people care. A few maybe, but most just want to expound their opinion and thats it. They want to be right. They want the other person to agree that they are right.

So telling someone what they are doing is wrong is leading to what? If the person is heck bent on doing what they do how is your opinion gonna stop them? How is arguing with them gonna stop them? It doesnt. Its a futile waste of energy that I do not understand.

And heck yeah I can say I am indifferent about certain things Most people dont want to admit this. I see it everyday. We are a culture of indifferent! Where have you guys been? So now all of the sudden everyone cares about what diet someone does and not about "real" things? Come on really? Thats why I say its more to it than that. But you have to know when to fight and when to sit back and observe. That does come with maturity. I dont consider people that I will probably never meet ever on a message board as real friends. Sorry, just dont. I have friends in the real world. I dont take message board stuff seriously.

You dont know what kinda life a person leads. Truth is relative online.

Truth is never relative. Opinions, feelings, emotions..all that is relative. Truth, by it's very definition, is not relative.

Eating too few calories is dangerous. Vomiting up the foods you eat is dangerous. That's not my opinion. This isn't a new concept that has never been studied before. It's harmful to the person. We know that. To pretend otherwise leads to the very kind of society that allows people to walk around slowly killing themselves with no one saying a word about it.

You're free to do and say whatever you'd like in this country (seeing as we're mostly U.S. in here). That right means everything to me. But included in that is the right of others to freely tell you when you're doing something wrong. Instead of getting defensive these people should be appreciated. They are trying to help you. People who let you go ahead and do things they know hurt you sure aren't doing you any favors.

If you want everyone to tell you how great you are and no one to give you a dissenting opinion talk to yourself in a mirror. This is life. You can't control everyone. Stop trying.

(Also most of this is just me rambling and not at all directed at the person who posted the quote)

Yes I never said it wasnt dangerous, but I think some people need to put things in perspective. This isnt your niece having a puke everytime she eats. This isnt a family member or friend. Of course you help that person if that was the case.

This is the internet and a forum with people all over the world. Different people, different lives and who knows what that person is really like? or what they are really doing? Its all about context. IMO I don't try to be a internet nanny. I have issues and problems of my own. It's not like I'm every gonna know or meet or talk to this person. I'm passionate about things that really matter and sorry internet people just isnt on my list of high priorities. LOL! It doesnt make me a rude, mean or not compassionate person, just a sane one! And using the excuse, that hey its the internet is a lame one. Just cause its the internet doesnt mean people have to be jerks.

Once again this isnt about a person asking for advice. And you really belive someone wants to be talked out of it??? Ummm...huh? Now thats just odd

Serious question to you. What do you gain by being on this site yourself?. i am not being sarcastic I am genuinely interested in your reply.

I came here to track my calories and food diary and to track my progress. I ignored the forums for a while and dont get on here that often. Only when one of my added friends make a post like the OP. I read the forums for tips and workout advice to see what is new, but not for friendship or nothing like that.

I am very disturbed by how negative and argumentative people are on here. My mental energy is tapped. thats why i dont do forums. Just too much.

Right, so you are just defending your friend in this instance, I see, thank you. But forums are argumentative it is the nature of the beast. Yes you will get very rude people but surely the majority are reasonable and I have found extremely informative.

OMG thank you! yes yes fairymiss is my friend. We see eye to eye on this. Thats why I am here. if the forums are argumentative like this then its counterproductive to helping IMO. So i wont be on here often! Its just too mentally exhausting!

If I see someone chocking or in a car wreck is one thing, but once again over the internet who knows. In person is one thing, but over a forum? uh no, get real.

You feel really strongly about what fairymiss said so you have broken your own rules and leaped on here with an opinion that you know others will not agree with. And quite rightly too as you are entitled to your opinion.

You have been reasonable in the way you argue your point and that is admirable and appreciated. But from what I can see the people arguing back with you have been just as reasonable.

So to me you have proved that these forums are mostly filled with people who care (even about people they have never met) and who argue in a reasonable polite manner and with that said I will take my leave. Thank you all for the lively debate :bigsmile:

jedi9393

well i only give advice or opinion usually when I'm asked. thats me. I try to be tactful cause I know I hate when people talk to me like i'm a child. So I try to be firm yet nice.

It's an open forum. Discussion is free. If we all waited for individual permission before saying something in a thread this place would be pretty empty and dull.

But tact is key. It's very rare that you'll convince anyone to change their mind yelling or being rude. I hope you don't think I was attacking you with anything that I said. Just expressing my different view on things. No offense ever intended.

Oh no you are one of the nice ones. Thats what I've been saying too. If you lack tact its not helping anyone! So if you are gonna give unsolicited advice why not try to be firm yet tactful. I think people mistake tact with sugar coating and being positive. You can disagree and be civil. If you cant do that then I pray that person avoids me at all cost. I have no patience for rude, nasty people. And if you really cared about some strange person on the internet its not that hard to edit and think about what your are about to type.

I still see more negative than positive on here though and I'll never venture forth on the forums again. Im done with this. I think most people dont wanna help, but to be right and argue their point. People perplex me and get on my nerves. Thats why I avoid avoid avoid like a disease. adios!

Gigi_licious

I am not posting this to make trouble, i honestly want to know why if you see a post that is about something you do not do, as in
some sort of diet or eating plan , why do you feel the need to click on that post for the single purpose of flaming that person.

Some people on this site seem to search out post on plans they DON'T like or agree with . why?

does it make you feel bigger or smarter to tell people they are wrong, even if it is working for them?

I honestly do want to know why people seem to have to got to subjects they are supposedly not interested in?

I dont understand why people need to point out something negative or attack someone cause they are doing what they are doing for them. Now if this pertains to a family member or friend then I can understand. You dont want to see a loved one hurt in anyway, but on a message board!?!?! Give me a break.

I'm gonna say something that is probably gonna rub people the wrong way, but oh well you asked for opinions so here I go. For most of the naysayers and people who feel the need to blast doesnt have anything to do with warning people or try to "help". Do you really care about someone you will never meet on a message board? Someone that doesnt have any effect on your day to day real life? if so, get a life! This is what it boils down too::

1. Jealousy: Deep down inside this person is seething that they cant follow a strict diet and you can.
2. Superiority: They want to feel better than the other person by bringing them down or telling them all the research they have done on said diet.
3. Insanity: Some people just cant let it alone. Some people feel the need to insert their contrary opinion on a topic. They cant help it. It's like some sick compulsion.

Personally I'm open to anything. I dont see certain diets or products are dangerous unless the FDA has banned them! I can I can honestly say I'm not against any type of diet. If it works for you then hey I might join you.

If someone posts: hey I'm puking everyday is anyone doing the same to lose weight. I have the maturity and dont have the time to get into an argument over why they are vomitting to lose weight. I also dont have the mental energy. I just keep it moving. Some people need to keep it friggin moving!!!!!!

My diagnosis as an MFP doctor is that you have a strong case of 2 and are showing early signs of 3.

jedi9393

I am not posting this to make trouble, i honestly want to know why if you see a post that is about something you do not do, as in
some sort of diet or eating plan , why do you feel the need to click on that post for the single purpose of flaming that person.

Some people on this site seem to search out post on plans they DON'T like or agree with . why?

does it make you feel bigger or smarter to tell people they are wrong, even if it is working for them?

I honestly do want to know why people seem to have to got to subjects they are supposedly not interested in?

I dont understand why people need to point out something negative or attack someone cause they are doing what they are doing for them. Now if this pertains to a family member or friend then I can understand. You dont want to see a loved one hurt in anyway, but on a message board!?!?! Give me a break.

I'm gonna say something that is probably gonna rub people the wrong way, but oh well you asked for opinions so here I go. For most of the naysayers and people who feel the need to blast doesnt have anything to do with warning people or try to "help". Do you really care about someone you will never meet on a message board? Someone that doesnt have any effect on your day to day real life? if so, get a life! This is what it boils down too::

1. Jealousy: Deep down inside this person is seething that they cant follow a strict diet and you can.
2. Superiority: They want to feel better than the other person by bringing them down or telling them all the research they have done on said diet.
3. Insanity: Some people just cant let it alone. Some people feel the need to insert their contrary opinion on a topic. They cant help it. It's like some sick compulsion.

Personally I'm open to anything. I dont see certain diets or products are dangerous unless the FDA has banned them! I can I can honestly say I'm not against any type of diet. If it works for you then hey I might join you.

If someone posts: hey I'm puking everyday is anyone doing the same to lose weight. I have the maturity and dont have the time to get into an argument over why they are vomitting to lose weight. I also dont have the mental energy. I just keep it moving. Some people need to keep it friggin moving!!!!!!

My diagnosis as an MFP doctor is that you have a strong case of 2 and are showing early signs of 3.

Thanks for proving my point, wow! I am a very open person to anything or anyone. I ask questions and try to understand people not like me. But since you proved you are not, thanks for trying anyway.

rbryntes

I guess some peoples egos are so large that they just can't grasp the concept that some people are not intrested in their opinion.

and some , alot, of people on here (and internet as awhole) do not grasp the concept of an opinion, too many think what ever the personally believe is the gospel truth

Yeah, sometimes people are looking for opinions but don't specifically put "what is your opinion on..." - otherwise the person wouldn't post on an internet forum.

ilookthetype

Sometimes people want to share their knowledge so people don't spend a ton of money on a diet that will mess up their body.

Also, you need to let this go, OP.

rbryntes

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln

Ooh! A Game!

Pick me! Pick me!


“There are risks and costs to a program of action, but they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction”
~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Ooh! Me too! Can I play?

"Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it."
--Samuel Johnson

Grimmerick

I really dislike these topics, you don't HONESTLY want to know, you want to try to make people explain themselves for your own satisfaction and to see if they will turn to your point of view by some kind of revelation and you also want people to get on here and cheer you on and agree with how grounded and mature you are for bringing it up. Well you know why they do it, They know why they do it and it isn't going to stop. There have been several topics just like this one and it never did a thing. You did exactly what you wanted to and went ahead and fanned those flames..................*clapping for you*.

ArroganceInStep

"Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it."
--Samuel Johnson

"Enough is enough! I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!"
~Samuel Jackson (way cooler than your S.J.)