For women: "Your husband must be happy..."

Options
245

Replies

  • audreanna76
    audreanna76 Posts: 82
    Options
    I can relate! Just this week, a friend of mine said "Have you lost weight"? I said "Yes, I have. Thanks for noticing". She said "How could I not? I bet your family is happy." I had to sit and think about that and wonder if it was a jab or a compliment. Anyway, my response was "I lost weight, I feel great and YES the family is proud of me thank you."
    The way I see it is: some people have a disease I like to call "diarrhea of the mouth"...crap just spews out of their mouth without the use of their brain cells. So you gotta fluff it off and just keep doing what your doing! Good job by the way!
  • VeganGal84
    VeganGal84 Posts: 938 Member
    Options
    Yep, I've gotten that comment many times, and I don't get it.

    Ridiculous how insensitive people are! My SO loves me for me, and thought that I was sexy at my high weight and has thought the same of my body at each weight.

    Although, I must say that my ex was always super happy when I lost weight, and I always lost it just for him. That's why he's my EX.
  • naesue
    naesue Posts: 401 Member
    Options
    I think with comments people are refering to the alone time between you and the hubby. I swear some people think that just because we are big we can move in the bed. That we are a bore to our husbands because we can't do porn star acts or something. i just think they are jealous because they don't have a husband who is as loving and supportive of them like your husband is of you. Keep rocking it for you girl and let them go off and be jealous all they want.
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    Options
    Yeah, I hate that too. I'd much rather that my spouse didn't notice that I'm more fit which generally in most cultures considered more physically attractive. It would also suck if someone speculated that my spouse might think I'm more fit and attractive than when I was 50 pounds heavier.

    How dare the *kitten*.
  • emy10284
    emy10284 Posts: 171 Member
    Options
    yeah i get that sometimes. i would just smile nod and walk away . mostly people say oh so what does your say husband say about you losing weight ? like his opinion would have bearing on it lol
  • SmartFunGorgeous
    SmartFunGorgeous Posts: 699 Member
    Options
    I can understand how it would be perceived this way, but it seems like it might be a person's way of trying to be positive without sounding condescending. For example, if an acquaintance were to say that he or she were proud of you or happy for you, it might feel insincere, because he or she isn't really close enough to you to have those emotions. But commenting on how proud you must be making your significant other, it would be acknowledging your accomplishments in a genuine manner.

    I've noticed that numerous people are both awkward at giving and receiving compliments, so when we work the rusty compliment muscle, it can sometimes be awkward. Just smile, say how proud of yourself you both are, and move on. I truly believe that for the main, this is just a poorly done compliment.
  • albali
    albali Posts: 225 Member
    Options
    Bless you, sweetie. I don't think these people can be thinking at all! If they were, they would see how thoughtless they sounded. Please try to ignore them as they don't know you at all! I have never met you but know you have done this for YOU!! and not for anyone else!!
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    Options
    As a male, my wife either doesn't notice or doesn't really care.

    but I've not made the dramatic losses some of you have. ie.. Just around 14 lbs. (4 lbs since I've been here)
  • ╰☆╮PilatesPOPster╰☆╮
    ╰☆╮PilatesPOPster╰☆╮ Posts: 198
    Options
    I don't know. I don't think much of the comments. I know my boyfriend loves me as i am and all that, but I still feel like if i lost the weight, he'd be more proud he has such a hot MILF to spend the rest of his life with.

    I feel the same. I love my boyfriend. I'm proud of him in every single way. But there is something about knowing you are with a healthy, in shape person...

    TO ME: in shape and healthy shows that you care about yourself enough to take care of yourself....that's something to show off! i dont know if im explaining it well but my point is, just take it as ( how im sure they mean it)- a complement!

    say thanks and go about your day! or say "he was happy with me before, but he's proud of my recent achievements as well"

    (:
  • lily1972
    lily1972 Posts: 375 Member
    Options
    I can relate! Just this week, a friend of mine said "Have you lost weight"? I said "Yes, I have. Thanks for noticing". She said "How could I not? I bet your family is happy." I had to sit and think about that and wonder if it was a jab or a compliment. Anyway, my response was "I lost weight, I feel great and YES the family is proud of me thank you."
    The way I see it is: some people have a disease I like to call "diarrhea of the mouth"...crap just spews out of their mouth without the use of their brain cells. So you gotta fluff it off and just keep doing what your doing! Good job by the way!

    LMBO!!! I LOVE this comment!
  • SixCatFaerie
    SixCatFaerie Posts: 690 Member
    Options
    I can understand why you would be upset with that. People don't realize that their "compliment" implies that your husband didn't enjoy you before...of course he did, he married you!

    ^^^ This sums it all up nicely! ^^^

    4581915.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
  • ymvestal
    ymvestal Posts: 84
    Options
    I've had those...but the one I got the other day that floored me was, "So are you going to leave him now?" I was like WHAT?????

    I know my husband loves me thin or fat; he's proved it for over 20 years (not all of it married). I am doing this for me, he is proud of me for doing someting to make me happier and succeeding at it. He is happy that I am starting to like the way I look again. He loves me and is proud of me for sticking to something I have failed at many times in the past. I love him more today than I ever have because of his being supportive and loving through this journey.
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
    Options
    My favorite....Your husband is a lucky man!

    Well yes he is and he always has been even before i lost weight...thank you very much....and if you don't believe me just ask him!!!
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
    Options
    Just tell them "Well he's not as shallow as you are so he was never unhappy." and walk away.
  • K1Teacher
    K1Teacher Posts: 324 Member
    Options
    I get it a lot too. I hate it, but try to let it just roll off. I really do think they're trying to compliment me, but it just really comes across badly. I think, too, that some people don't have supportive husbands and get grief from their own husbands about their weight so they think EVERY man is like that. That's true for one of my friends so I understand where she's coming from when she says those things.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Options
    Who ARE these people? And why can't they come say that *kitten* to ME...I would make them cry.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Options
    WOW..that's really rude!

    A lady at my gym who works out a lot said her (overweight) neighbor once said to her (when she saw her going out for a run) "I'm so glad MY husband loves me the way I am, so I don't have to do all that exercise you do". She was pretty offended!
  • Soccer_chick916
    Soccer_chick916 Posts: 159 Member
    Options
    No husband so people haven't made those comments to me. I do agree with you though. They can make much better comments other than assuming your husband must now be finally happy. What they obviously don't realize is that he had to have been happy before because how else would you two be together???

    Well good luck to you in meeting your goal. Your tracker shows you have lost a lot of weight, I bet you feel amazing and have a lot of energy! Go you!!!!
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    Options
    People say stupid crap. We all say stupid crap. A lot of times people don't know the right thing to say and they make jack-*kitten* comments.

    You said these people are not your friends so what does it REALLY matter.

    And whose spouse wouldn't be happy with a healthy partner that is going to live longer. (Even though, I suspect this isn't what they meant)
  • janet_pratt
    janet_pratt Posts: 747 Member
    Options
    Doesn't bother me. I just assume they are trying to be complementary. My favorite is when people who haven't seen me in a long time run across me and I say hello. They stare for a second, trying to figure out who I am, then their mouths drop open and they say, "I didn't even recognize you! You look great!" That one is much better. But after all the time and effort I've put in, any compliment is appreciated.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories