For women: "Your husband must be happy..."

2

Replies

  • SixCatFaerie
    SixCatFaerie Posts: 690 Member
    I can understand why you would be upset with that. People don't realize that their "compliment" implies that your husband didn't enjoy you before...of course he did, he married you!

    ^^^ This sums it all up nicely! ^^^

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  • ymvestal
    ymvestal Posts: 84
    I've had those...but the one I got the other day that floored me was, "So are you going to leave him now?" I was like WHAT?????

    I know my husband loves me thin or fat; he's proved it for over 20 years (not all of it married). I am doing this for me, he is proud of me for doing someting to make me happier and succeeding at it. He is happy that I am starting to like the way I look again. He loves me and is proud of me for sticking to something I have failed at many times in the past. I love him more today than I ever have because of his being supportive and loving through this journey.
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
    My favorite....Your husband is a lucky man!

    Well yes he is and he always has been even before i lost weight...thank you very much....and if you don't believe me just ask him!!!
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    Just tell them "Well he's not as shallow as you are so he was never unhappy." and walk away.
  • K1Teacher
    K1Teacher Posts: 324 Member
    I get it a lot too. I hate it, but try to let it just roll off. I really do think they're trying to compliment me, but it just really comes across badly. I think, too, that some people don't have supportive husbands and get grief from their own husbands about their weight so they think EVERY man is like that. That's true for one of my friends so I understand where she's coming from when she says those things.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Who ARE these people? And why can't they come say that *kitten* to ME...I would make them cry.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    WOW..that's really rude!

    A lady at my gym who works out a lot said her (overweight) neighbor once said to her (when she saw her going out for a run) "I'm so glad MY husband loves me the way I am, so I don't have to do all that exercise you do". She was pretty offended!
  • Soccer_chick916
    Soccer_chick916 Posts: 159 Member
    No husband so people haven't made those comments to me. I do agree with you though. They can make much better comments other than assuming your husband must now be finally happy. What they obviously don't realize is that he had to have been happy before because how else would you two be together???

    Well good luck to you in meeting your goal. Your tracker shows you have lost a lot of weight, I bet you feel amazing and have a lot of energy! Go you!!!!
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    People say stupid crap. We all say stupid crap. A lot of times people don't know the right thing to say and they make jack-*kitten* comments.

    You said these people are not your friends so what does it REALLY matter.

    And whose spouse wouldn't be happy with a healthy partner that is going to live longer. (Even though, I suspect this isn't what they meant)
  • janet_pratt
    janet_pratt Posts: 747 Member
    Doesn't bother me. I just assume they are trying to be complementary. My favorite is when people who haven't seen me in a long time run across me and I say hello. They stare for a second, trying to figure out who I am, then their mouths drop open and they say, "I didn't even recognize you! You look great!" That one is much better. But after all the time and effort I've put in, any compliment is appreciated.
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    I think what I would say at that point is " what I love about my husband is he has always loved me for who I am unconditionally as it should be!"

    and leave it that!:bigsmile:
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Who ARE these people? And why can't they come say that *kitten* to ME...I would make them cry.

    I'd pay good money to see that sh!tstorm.
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
    Who ARE these people? And why can't they come say that *kitten* to ME...I would make them cry.

    I'd pay good money to see that sh!tstorm.

    Oh!! I'll buy popcorn!!!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Obvious question. Is your husband happy?
  • leynak
    leynak Posts: 963 Member
    That reminds me of my mother. I was at the pool once right after I had my oldest daughter & this lady came up & started talking to us about my baby. She mentioned that she was almost 9 months pregnant. And my mom goes "You don't even LOOK pregnant!" (She did, she was just wearing a skirted bathing suit & it hid her belly a little)I know it was supposed to be a compliment but I was like Jesus, mom! You know that's like saying " You're pregnant? I thought you were just fat!"

    My mom's a really nice person & didn't mean anything by her comment. It's just sometimes she lacks tact. It sounds to me like it's the same with these comments. I have just learned to not take offense to some of the things my mom(or people like her) say.
  • deniseg31
    deniseg31 Posts: 667 Member
    Who ARE these people? And why can't they come say that *kitten* to ME...I would make them cry.

    hahaha!!! Love this!
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.

    I swear, just take it for what it is, a simple complement.

    Also, how do you equate this with the person saying your husband wasn't attracted to you in the first place? Maybe he simply thinks you are even more attractive now?

    This hyper sensative bull crap is what is driving the world into the sewer.
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
    I can say that these people don't know my husband and he seemed pretty happy with me before.

    My husband was deployed when I lost the majority of my weight.
    I got a lot of similar comments, and mostly replied that he was happy for me, but didn't really care because he loves me no matter what my size.

    If you want to be a b*tch to those you don't know either (random people commenting unwarranted) you can always say something like...
    "Actually, he was really upset when I started shedding weight. He is upset with all the positive attention I'm receiving from women and especially men. In fact, he filed for divorce last week due to my change in body shape. However, I'm confident that we'll work through this, for the kids, you know?"
  • Birder150
    Birder150 Posts: 677 Member
    If we are not happy with how we look, why do we expect our spouses to be?
  • deniseg31
    deniseg31 Posts: 667 Member
    WOW..that's really rude!

    A lady at my gym who works out a lot said her (overweight) neighbor once said to her (when she saw her going out for a run) "I'm so glad MY husband loves me the way I am, so I don't have to do all that exercise you do". She was pretty offended!

    Oh wow! This is a terrible one. LIke the other MFP lady said..."diarrhea of the mouth"
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    I know that with increased weight loss Sex drives picks up significantly maybe that's what they are suggesting. ;)
  • pinstripepirate
    pinstripepirate Posts: 605 Member
    I know that with increased weight loss Sex drives picks up significantly maybe that's what they are suggesting. ;)

    Agreed- I think these people are trying to coax you into talking about your sex life in a very subtle way!
  • Just1forMe
    Just1forMe Posts: 624 Member
    People can be ignorant. I would reply, "My husband was quite happy with me just the way I was, thank-you-very-much. I, however, am pleased that I am so much healthier."
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.

    I swear, just take it for what it is, a simple complement.

    Also, how do you equate this with the person saying your husband wasn't attracted to you in the first place? Maybe he simply thinks you are even more attractive now?

    This hyper sensative bull crap is what is driving the world into the sewer.

    This is worth quoting.
  • vdegraff
    vdegraff Posts: 87 Member
    Co-workers have said that to me, but I've never been offended. I guess I didn't read too much into it. However, I guess in a way, you are right . . . WT&^&%% . . . I'll need to challenge them on this next time. LOL
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.


    ummmm, yeah...that's what us women do...we overanalyze things and read into them. Its really not our fault - its a girl thing!
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.

    I swear, just take it for what it is, a simple complement.

    Also, how do you equate this with the person saying your husband wasn't attracted to you in the first place? Maybe he simply thinks you are even more attractive now?

    This hyper sensative bull crap is what is driving the world into the sewer.

    Considering that the majority of people who responded to her agreed in some way, then this^^^ is just a weeeeee bit condescending and rude. Thank GAWD not everyone in the world thinks the same, and if she (and many others) took it this way, are you saying all of them/us are wrong and only you are right? If so, YOUR life must be a living hell, to constantly be surrounded with such idiots. Poor you.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.


    ummmm, yeah...that's what us women do...we overanalyze things and read into them. Its really not our fault - its a girl thing!


    hehehehe, :flowerforyou:
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.


    ummmm, yeah...that's what us women do...we overanalyze things and read into them. Its really not our fault - its a girl thing!

    Thanks for being honest. That's my point, this is all just stupid. By time this thread is over not only will this be an insult someone's hubby will have been cheating on them as a result.
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.

    I swear, just take it for what it is, a simple complement.

    Also, how do you equate this with the person saying your husband wasn't attracted to you in the first place? Maybe he simply thinks you are even more attractive now?

    This hyper sensative bull crap is what is driving the world into the sewer.

    Considering that the majority of people who responded to her agreed in some way, then this^^^ is just a weeeeee bit condescending and rude. Thank GAWD not everyone in the world thinks the same, and if she (and many others) took it this way, are you saying all of them/us are wrong and only you are right? If so, YOUR life must be a living hell, to constantly be surrounded with such idiots. Poor you.

    Rude? Yeah, because this thread is so full of stupid it's unbelieveable.

    Not a single guy I know would find this in the least bit offensive. They'd be like, "Damn right I look better".
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